Daddy Needs Love Too

If possible create more one on one time with the 2 of them. I started working for a short time in the afternoons so the boys had to rely on daddy, and it brought them all closer. Maybe you could get a way for a weekend?

I make Daddy coming home an event. My oldest son is almost 2, and about 30 minutes before my husband comes home, I start tell him.... "Guess whoooo's coming home soon!?" ....sometimes I get a very enthusiastic "Daaaaaa!!!" and sometimes I get a hissy fit. BUT the point is that we are working over that attitude BEFORE Daddy walks in the door.... so that, just about every single day, my son just about has a heart attack when his Dad walks in the door. We jump up and down and clap and celebrate when we see the truck pull up.... then when he opens the door, my boy is happy and welcoming.

its worth a shot.

I would really talk up Daddy all day long....when is Daddy coming home, etc, etc.
Also, can your hubby do something that will crack him up--like go in for a kiss but give him a zerbert on the neck or something like that?
In another year, it's going to be ALL about Daddy!!!

This is always hard for the "rejected" parent, but you're right, it's completely normal. Kids are so spontaneous and honest in their responses, and he'll only gradually develop an understanding of other people's feelings over the next few years. And those parental preferences tend to swing wildly from week to week in toddlers.

You can certainly coach him now about what behavior toward others is desirable, but you can't force a false response without it having "unintended consequences" in other areas.

For example, if we want kids to respect themselves, understand privacy, and trust their instincts (very useful as they go out into the world), we can't really tell them they have to kiss or hug ANYBODY if they don't feel like it. Even mommy or daddy.

This goes for forcing (young) kids to say they're sorry if it's not sincere, expressing gratitude if they don't feel it, telling white lies to ease out of social discomforts. If we want honest children, let's let them be honest.

If your husband can look at this as a wonderful opportunity to help your son develop sound judgement, perhaps it won't sting so much. And your son will develop more and more empathy as he grows – just keep modeling it for him. That's how kids learn best.

It is a phase...my husband used to call himself "chopped liver". It will pass now my kids scream and run for the door as soon as they hear my husband's keys in the lock. "daddy!! daddy!!" They hang on him until he untangles himself to leave in the morning.

I just made sure I hugged daddy goodbye in the morning and greeted him excitedly in the evening and soon my son was too, then my daughter when she was big enough.

Tell daddy he won't stay "chopped liver" for very long!!!

My daughter did this to ME when she was about that age. I was a SAHM with her and my son was about 4.5. For a month or two, she would not hug me or give me kissed - only daddy. Talk about a kick in the gut - I was the one who did EVERYTHING for her. Anyway, she grew out of it and we're great now. Tell him to try not to take it personally and do not force your son.

I always use a little reverse psychology with my son. He has done this with his dad on and off for about a year now. As I hear my husband pulling in the drive or coming in the door I tell him he isn't ballowed to give daddy hugs and kisses until after I do, or he better not beat his sister to give daddy lovin, etc. I've used several things on these lines to make it a game. Its fun for him, dad gets the hugs & kisses he wants. Oh and yes my husband knows about it, but he also came to understand that this is just a phase.....we went through it with our daughter too.

it's really important for the grown-ups in this situation (in our family it was i) to remember that this is a very little person talking, who is figuring out his own emotions and how the world reacts to him and how to express himself. you just have to allow very little people to work through this honestly and without judgment. he is too small to be responsible for your husband's feelings. this is an excellent time for a good sense of humor.
khairete
S.

My daughter went through this stage, she's now three. When I asked her why she didn't want to give Daddy kisses she said his face hurt (was scratchy). I had her feel his face after he shaved for a few days and then she started giving kisses and hugs again. Keep giving Daddy positive reinforcement until this stage passes.

Daddy has to suck it up for a while. Sometimes kids cling to a blanket, stuffy or person. They arent insulting anyone they are just reacting to something bothering them. It probably bothers him having his dad leave. Maybe schedule some time where you get out of the house and give them some father son time to play or have your hubby take him to the zoo or beach or whereever to have some bonding time. In the end this is normal and will pass.

I guess my son went through this stage, but it was really short or I don't remember it that well. He out grew it. He's 11 now and gives Dad a hug and kiss every morning and again at night before bed time. When they have a chance, let them have some one on one father son time. My husband and son loved looking at all the fire trucks together at fire station open houses and at tractors at county fairs. And my son became Daddy's little helper with his own tool belt when it came to doing things around the house. Dad would hold him when he climbed ladders, etc. Take pictures of the fun projects they do together. They'll be best buddies before you know it!

Daddy and son need a Daddy Excursion without Mommy =)

You are right that it is a very normal phase. I personally think kids do it to test "how far can I push dad or mom before they will stop loving me?" Obviously, the answer to that is infinitely far but kids do not understand that and so they make up tests. As long as dad keeps coming back for more hugs and kisses, he has passed the test and your son is happy.

I have found that my boys do it more when I am present. Meaning, if I leave the room, they have less need to test dad's love for them. Maybe this is yet another test scenario...Something like, I don't want mommy to think I don't love her and to prove this, I will save all my hugs and kisses for her. So a few minutes before the official good-bye time comes, leave the room and let father and son have a private, unrushed good-bye time.

I agree with reverse psychology! lol! Works like a charm. Boys are oppositional little creatures, so feeding their defiant side will usually get you what you want. :)

This happened to my hubby as well when our boys were young. Whenever it happened, he would say something like "you better not give me a hug....you just better not" in a joking voice and act like he was going to run away. Sure enough, to this day (the boys are 7 1/2), if he does this, the boys will chase him around and hug and kiss him when they ultimately catch him. It really broke the ice so to speak and soothed dad's hurt feelings.
It may take a couple tries for your son to "get" what dad is doing but it's worth a try and always ends in giggles all around.

Good luck,
J.

Try family hugs -- my 2 yr old loves them. We either pick him up or get down to his level and all hug each other. We also "pass" kisses after our hugs.

Ah, this takes me back........

With my daughter it was my brother (her uncle) who she loved the most of all my siblings, by the way! He dealt with it at first by going to get a hug from her when it wasn't in front of everyone else - so his "goodbye" was said 20 minutes before he left, but still no hug.
Then he started tossing her a crumpled up piece of notebook paper (like a ball) that inside he had written HUG in big letters that took up the whole paper. So he just said "here's your hug" and tossed it to her (or rolled it to her, or said "I hid your hug in the couch today). She would go look for it and find it and then color the words in and toss it back to him next time she saw him to "hug" him back.
It was pretty cute and I think pretty creative of my bro!!!!!!

Of course your husband is a good man and a good father. This has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT!!!!! This is a total power play by your son and a great time to come up with something that just "he and daddy do". Like a fist bump or a secret handshake.

I feel strongly that you should never 'force' a kid to kiss or hug. I'm sensitive about that though. I also think you/your husband have to NOT take it personally (although easier said than done) and you have to not be mortified by your kids behavior (also easier said than done!).
Remember that like everything else, if it gets attention your kid will immediately do it more often!

Also, like everything else..... this too shall pass!

I would find him an article or something online that talks about how it's normal for toddlers to take favorites and how it doesn't mean anything about how he feels towards the parent that he's shunning at the moment. You can say the same thing all you want but if your husband reads it in print from a reputable source, it'll help him not take it so personally. I read it just the other day and warned my husband that it may happen just so we're both prepared to be rejected as our little one gets older. haha. He was relieved to know that b/c he already feels like our son favors me sometimes.

My oldest used refuse affection AND he'd tell his Daddy that he wished he would DIE! Oh, it was AWFUL for my husband, who stayed home with him. A lot of it was just that I was more fun (of course I was, I wasn't the one who had to handle the day-to-day stuff).

As you all ready know, it's normal and will pass. I agree with the commenter who suggested talking Daddy up during the day (and acting SUPER excited when he's about to come home may help too). Also, if it's not all ready happening, maybe he could make a date with Dad for them to go do something your son LOVES - just the two of them.

maybe i can help, our little girl, now just shy of seven months, would refuse to take a bottle from her daddy, well we worked it through and figured that if he was the only one to give her a bottle for an entire afternoon, she would adjust to her daddy giving her a bottle anytime of day, and it worked. you have to get the child to associate him or her with a particular activity.if the child refuses to be affectionate toward his daddy, just say, thats ok, i am going to hug daddy now, so there ! and then causally refuse to do anything for the child until he gets with the program.
K. h.

My son is 20 months and he is refusing to give my hubby a kiss or a hug right now. I can tell it bothers him, it would bother me too but I know its just a phase. I will be curious to see what other posters say. Good luck with your son.

I look forward to the responses as well. My daughter is like that with her Dad at times. So I avoid intering when they interact so that they can bond on their own. The pediatrician said they go through phases of being attached to one parent or the other

I think this behavior will pass soon. Don't make a big deal but tell your son your daddy would really like a hug. Then praise him when he gives his dad a hug.
With my middle child we went thru something similar. My husband works loooooong hrs. One morning the kids were snuggling us. I handed the baby ( 8 mo then) to my husband my baby leapt out of my husband hands back into my hands. My husband almost started crying. It never happened again.