my poor baby boy (2 yrs old) has a crappy daddy. DS has supervised visitation w/sorry ex on tuesdays/fridays (supervised by me at mall, park, etc). anyway, so ex cancelled yesterday. that's expected crappy behavior he always does. so he's in and out of my boy's life, but randomly my DS will start saying, "daddy, daddy..."
i don't ever say "daddy" or even tell DS we're going to see him b/c i never know when he'll cancel. (ex has been verbally abusive, harassing, and threatening to me in the past. he's not a good guy having a hard time.) anyway, i'm sure DS is just randomly (sp) saying daddy, but still i feel it warrants a response from me...maybe not, maybe i should just completely ignore it. but he's SO cute & really expects a reaction from me after everything he says lately...like "airplane", me say "yes, that's an airplane, good". y'know?
so...i honestly don't have anything positive to say about ex but i hate ignoring my little boy even on that stupid daddy word. any ideas what i could say? i'm not a bad mom, the ex has just put us through so much and he doesn't do anything positive for my sweet boy (predictable visits, child support, etc....hence SUPERVISED court ordered visitation).
thanks mommas :)
When he starts his 'daddy daddy daddy' thing, you could flip it into a game by saying his name 3 times in the same tone of voice, then 'mommy mommy mommy', then maybe grandma, grandpa, anyone you can think of that he knows. that way you aren't put in the position of lying to your son or badmouthing sorry ex. Hopefully, the game will distract him from wondering about his dad...
I would just hug him and say: "You know momy loves you sooo much" and try to change the subject.
I do how you feel, the father of my first baby was complete irresponsable, and wasn't involve in our lifes but I never have the heart to tell those things to my daughter, so I just lie, and say her dad was good but we just didn't got along but we sometimes talk and he ask for her, etc, etc.
I think it was the best for my daughter, however now she thinks he is so good and it kind of sick me because he doesn't deserve it, but I didn't want her to suffer, so I suck it up and hope it one day she will know and wouldn't hurt as much.
It was until a year ago that I ask her if her dad would ask her to live with him would she, she told me no way, I was the one that has being there since day one. She made me cry.
My daughter said daddy and I don't say that to her either b/c her dad is just a paycheck really... he hasn't seen her since last June and only because he came here to give me my stuff and his mom wanted to meet her (sucks that she misses out b/c of her son b/c she is really sweet)
Anyways, she said daddy so I actually showed her a pic of him (her dad) and she said daddy, I showed her a pic of my best friend Jarrett and she said daddy... she just knew daddy was supposed to be a "boy"... then I started paying attention and found out that she learned daddy from Dinosaurs, ya know that old tv series with the baby Sinclair that says not the momma (some are kid-friendly episodes lol)... so that's where she learned it.
Could your little boy be picking up the concept of "daddy" from a show or relative or friend? That's what I would guess. My daughter went around calling every guy (even stranger guy hikers when we'd go hiking with her lol) daddy... I had to teach her that guys are not "daddy"... but I didn't teach her who hers was because he isn't in her life, even though he got her name tattooed on his arm (*rolls eyes*).. I hope my daughter will answer the would you live with dad question like mamyof2's daughter. I won't talk bad about him, but I won't talk good about him either... I am just neutral :P
Yeah, tough. I would maybe just say something like, you love Daddy don't you or yes, you have a daddy, or daddy loves you, or something sort of benign and factual...and then move on. It's hard b/c I get you want to validate him but you don't have much to say on the subject. Even if he grows up with a crappy dad, he's still going to love him and want his approval so maybe if you start validating his feelings now, he'll at least feel supported in the future when he can understand more. I also thought Red's suggestion was a good one.
