I have a 14 year old nephew that comes to live with me when my brother-inlaw and his girlfriend can stand being around each other. My nephew has had the cops called on him for nothing and the cops believe the girlfriend before the child. She will cause problems for the child and then he feels unsafe and uncomfortable at his own house. My brother-inlaw knows and agrees that there is a problem and still does nothing. My nephew wants to live with me and my wife but the parents say they can't just give up the kids. If the first place how can you let a child keeping going though the same stuff over and over and still blame the child. This women also has other kids and lets them do what ever they want and then starts yelling at my nephew. PLEASE HELP.
I have almost exact problem, good luck! I would start with DCFS and go from threr. But it is hard to prove neglect if the kids have food and shelter. I wish I had better solutions but the system sucks!
There might be something you can do. A woman I used to work with was raising her niece through marriage. She was guardian for the girl after going to court. Because the girl was 15, she was able to state the case as well. You could try talking to a family lawyer to see if there is something that you can do. The girl's parents did not give up their rights, just a guardianship was established.
ask for legal guardianship then you have a leg to stand on if your nephew ever gets in drastic trouble due to the daddy's girlfriend. and where is his birth mother that was not mentioned and I do not like to assume that she is not available but is that the case?but really you can do very little aside from keeping your door open and giving love. I might also suggest therapy for your nephew it could be the one truly real thing he has in a very unreal situation.
First I want to commend you and your wife for being the adults and giving your nephew a stable and safe place. Much research has found that a child growing up in dysfunction can still thrive if they experience/observe what functional is like. So worst case scenario please continue doing what you can for your nephew.
As for actions you might take now; is it possible to involve his school counselor or reach out to your local police department juvenile detectives and see what counseling resources they might direct you too? If everyone sits down with the counselor maybe they as an objective person can convince your brother-in-law what is best. If it doesn't go that way maybe the counselor can still offer support and advise that might help create an overall more healthy environment.
This sounds pretty serious. DCFS should be involved. In addition, I would agree with the advice to go to a counselor at your nephew's school to let him know what is going on and receive advice from the counselor. Your nephew sounds troubled, and so does this "girlfriend." Finally, you need to have a serious talk with your brother, since he sounds like he is having issues. At this point, I don't think that he and this girlfriend have a right to keep your nephew, since he is obviously in an abusive situation.
well it sounds like this child need someone to care for him. he is old enough to understand moveing out. you may need to go the legal way and talk with a lawyer most times if you can prove it best for the child they can move with you. aslo he can tell his side and explain that he wants this. you need to make a list with dates of when he comes to stay and why. when the dads girlfreind does things ect just try to make it very detailed. then speak with a lawyer hope things get better
I agree with those who recommend involving school counselors and the Department of Child and Family Services. It is true that a 14-year-old may exaggerate or even invent events - but either way, this boy needs help. At his age, his wishes should be taken into account by the courts - but be warned that if you end up with custody, you are going to need support to give him the help he needs. It is also true that by being available to him, you are already helping him. It sounds as though legal intervention is necessary, if only to properly assess the situation and figure out what this boy needs.
Have a sitdown, without the child present 1st with the legal parent(s). Find out if he could live with you until things are more resolved in his relationships. All you want is him to have the best chance of growing up into a loving trusting adult who is capable of making sound decisions to care for himself and others. Explain he would not be abdoning the child but giving his relationship a better chance because the turmoil would be removed. Make sure this is an undertaking you wish to pursue. If he agrees even to temporary living with you make sure you have temporary guardianship papers so that you may access healthcare, school and take care of him properly. If he was hurt even during these occasionally staying with you situations a delay in care could occur if the parent could not be reached for permission easily and quickly, solved with temporary guardianship papers. If he is unable/unwilling to explore let him know that you will not let it drop and you will seek council and if needed DCFS to protect and care for the child.
I can really feel you on a personal level with this one. My husband and I took guardianship of our nephew last Oct. Fortunately for us his mother/father agreed and new he was in a bad situation. However the wont let go of the two girls. That is another story.
Have you thought of having and intervention with them? A serious sit down thats not a bashing or yelling match but more of a reality check. Do you know of anyone close to the girlfriend that would be willing to participate? This could be a good outlet for EVERYONE to get some pressure off their shoulders.
Also your nephew is either at age or pretty close to the age that he can emancipate himself and live where ever he want (assuming it would be with you and your wife).
Feel free for you or your wife to message me back. I would love to relate to someone who is going through similar struggles. GOOD LUCK!
