Cussing - Madison,WI

We cut back on the cussing a lot when we had kids, but we DO cuss in front of them, and I'd say daily. I'm find with my kids knowing and respecting that there are some things that I get to do because I'm an adult (like drink alcohol, drive a car, etc.). They do respect it. On the RARE occasion that they let one slip (my five-year-old said 'dammit' the other day), I laugh because of the horrified look on their face, and remind them, "Hey, you're not supposed to say that!" and they don't do it again.

I cussed in front of my daughter and she learned to cuss from me. I didn't punish her for it. I simply taught her that there are places where you can and places where you can't, and how to tell the difference.

May I just put this out there moms... please consider holding yourself to a higher standard; not just in front of your kids. Personally I don't think there is EVER an appropriate time for cussing. I see it as a sign of weakness; that the cusser can't even control themselves. Why use bad language in any circumstance? There are so many other words to use. Our kids are bombarded by garbage at school and through the media. It's refreshing for them to know their family controls their words. Challenge yourself to hold yourself to the same standard that you expect from your kids. Cussing shouldn't be viewed by our kids as something they earn the right to do when they get older, it should be viewed as a disappointing character trait. If it's a habit, consider changing it.

I have found no correlation between how often or why I cuss in front of my kids and their instances of cussing.

So far as I or any of the adults in their lives were aware my kids didn't cuss until they were teens but still didn't cuss in front of adults.

It is very simple, I am adult, you are not, eventually you will, get over it.

Shock cussing doesn't work either, I will only correct context and make them look up the meaning of the word so they understand how stupid they sound.
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To those that might say that cussing shows weakness, true weakness is giving a word power. That is something I will never do. It is a word, nothing more. If you want to attribute stupid things to the use, fine, but then I have the right to attribute things to why you believe that as well. The beauty of my life is I have a mess of psych terms that make me appear, knowledgeable. :)

Well we swear sometimes, like most people (usually out of frustration or to make a point) but it's never been a part of our normal daily language, so there was nothing to change once we had kids. Our kids don't swear in front of us or other adults either, it's just not the norm around here.
I find frequent swearing trashy and ignorant, it's about as attractive as body odor or bad teeth, IMO :(

Rarely, but it has happened. Usually it involves something not going right, like spilling coffee all over the counter when in a rush out the door, or something like that. And it is usually a "sh&!" muttered under the breath. Husband seems to have those kinds of moments more often than I do, though... probably because he is on his way to work and if I spill on myself, well... I'm not on my way to work, ya know? That work thing kinda adds to the stress of it all.

Generally though, we don't cuss. A few slip when the NFL team husband likes does something really stupid or just horribly inept. We also don't use the "sailor" style cussing. F bombs don't happen when the kids are around. And it takes a serious amount of anger for one of us to drop one of those anyway. Not a football game or spilled coffee. And we have never used the "c" word or "d*ck". Just not our style.

When our kids were really little, we didn't use ANY around them. Now that they are older (11 & 14)... yeah.. they hear much worse at school, I'm sure. But we still try not to make it habitual. Our kids got corrected for saying "stupid" when they were little, and still stay away from that word. So, no.. they have NEVER used a cuss word in our presence. Have never heard of them using them anywhere else, either. So discipline for it is a non-issue.

My teen son and I curse like sailors at each other - just for fun. We try and see who can create the most inventive word combinations.

We don't speak like this in public and we both realize it is a release valve that we use at home.

When he was little I just did not curse in front of him. When he heard curse words from others, I would discuss the words with him and tell him (1) only adults could use those words and (2) we did not use them at all. If I did slip he had permission to point out the error of my ways to me. LOL

Punishing him for using curse words was really counter productive for my child. Teaching him a better way to express himself worked better for us.

We cuss, not every other word, but it is frequent and not only when angry/hurt/mad. Let me say, we are very careful around other peoples kids. I know not everyone feels the same way we do about it.

My younger kids, and older kids were younger. Rarely picked up cuss words, if they did they were very young and easy to redirect. We never made a big deal of it.

My kids also understand that there are some things that are for adults. It's not a "do as I say, not as I do" kinda thing. I can have a beer if I want, but they can't. There are just some things that are for grown-ups and some things that aren't.

My unfortunate use of bad words primarily grew more intense once I moved to New England from Florida. Their is a major difference in how you express yourself verbally in the South, from how they express themselves with words here.

With that being said, I do cuss when I am upset, stressed, or frustrated. My son knows this occurs, and will often tell me to "use my other words" instead. He knows not to cuss, and if someone does, he often points it out to them. It can get quite amusing.

If my son did say a cuss word, I would tell him the same thing he tells me, and that he needs to find another word to express how he feels. I don't think it would be right to discipline him, when I do it too. He just needs to be corrected and know that it's not appropriate.

The worst I have said in front of my kids is "what the hell?"

With my husband, I have been known to let an f-bomb drop more than a few times. I never cussed until I worked as the only woman in a department with a bunch of men. Now I can only seem to control myself when I am with my kids or people I know don't cuss.

Luckily, my kids are too young to really cuss--they do like to say things like "poopy butt" and such to be defiant, and then they get a nice taste of a (non-toxic) soap in their mouths. I tried the Sassy Spray mix of vinegar and water before, but my 3 yr old loved that taste, so back to soap I went.

My kiddo is 5, and I don't swear 99% of the time. Hopefully when I do, it's not in front of him. I would not punish him for swearing, especially if I did it first, in front of him, and because he has no clue as to what he is saying. I'll even give him permission to tell me I said a bad word (LOL!).

My mother put pepper on my tongue for swearing when I was younger than 10 - I don't remember what the word was, but I didn't use pepper in my food for 30 years. But I used swear words occasionally as I grew up.

My husband lets words slip when he's upset. We also let them listen to some music that has cuss words in it (they have Pandora stations), and then we discuss it. I explain to the kids (ages 7 and 10) that these are words that they are not allowed to say at school or with their friends, but if they want to say it at home while we're having the conversation, they can try it. That takes the shock factor away.

Personally, I think it's a little silly that one word meaning feces is okay, and another word meaning feces is not okay. But I understand that society makes these rules and I teach my children to behave accordingly. Seems to have worked so far. No reports of inappropriate language from them.

I teach AP Language, and I challenge my students to increase their vocabulary, and have fun with it. Try to find a variety of words to use when frustrated instead of resorting to vulgar language. My husband and I rarely cuss, and never cuss in front of our children. Our children have never used foul language, at least not when we're around. Our oldest is 14, and he may use foul language when he's with his friends, but knowing his personality, I doubt it.

I have been known to say "sh#t" from time to time. It's my word of choice. However, I usually say it when something happens, like spilling spaghetti on my shirt or something. I don't use it routinely.

I really hate to admit that I do cuss in front of the kids. Only in times of stress or anger but of course that is no excuse at all. Thankfully my boys have never cussed-at least to my knowledge. They admonish me when I do it and we discuss how it is wrong.

I try not to cuss in front of my kids. I really do.
My kids have not been disciplined for cussing, because between the two of them, its happen like 3 times, and it was a situation where they didnt know better. They were corrected and learned that is inappropriate, but it has never been an issue from there.
My husband never cusses.
I cuss, when I want to, not that I need to or have nothing else to say, but because I like it. :)
I am far from weak. Thanks.

I use bad language around my children. I try to keep it to minimum but as they get older, I cuss more. I have never had a problem my kids cussing. I'm sure I would rethink the words I choose, if they repeated what I say. My husband & 10 year old always make fun of my " mouth".

Yes, I do cuss, but I try to keep it to a minimum. And yes, I tell the kids that I'm an adult so I can do it, but they are not so they can't. To me, it's like drinking alcohol. Most people drink in front of their kids even if it is just a beer or two and we all tell our kids that they can't drink. To me, cussing is no different. They just have to accept that there are things that they can't do as kids that they can choose do to as adults. It's part of life.

If I hear the kids cuss, I reprimand them but that's about it unless they got out of hand or directed it to an adult.

Just last weekend, my 6 year old GD came out with "bastard." She said it so matter-of-factly that hubby and I agreed that she's hearing someone use that word regularly. She did not know that it was a "bad word" until we told her. She apologized and I don't think she will use it again, at least not in front of us.

We watch what we say around any child (ours and others). We are not perfect so there are slips, though. We figure we are setting the example of conduct and decency. We try to avoid those words but by being the example slip ups do occur and as such so do explaining/discussing those slip ups. Personally my husband and I have gone the route of made up phrases which have an amazing diffusion effect on anger and/or pain. "Flaming flapjacks...", "for the love of all that is dear...", that kind of thing. We have a parrot...I mean toddler...among us so we watch closely everything we say. I can't say what I'll do later on if/when our children use swear words. I'm taking a wait and see based on context approach.

My husband and I both cuss (although since I'm a SAHM, I find that it's become less and less of my vocabulary) and I have never cussed in front of my kids. I give credit for this incredible feat to all the practice I had when I was a teenager hiding my cussing from my mom. :) My husband slips occasionally (he's military, so it's about half of his vocab on a daily basis), but our kids haven't repeated yet. IF they do, I'll probably just do what I've been doing with non-cuss words that I don't want my daughter saying (like stupid, dumb, etc.) which is "That's a mean word. We don't say that word." If she asks why Daddy said it.... well... maybe I'll just say he shouldn't have and he's very sorry for it.

HAHAHAHA... Just realized, she'll probably try to send him to time out for saying a bad word... LOL

I think that it depends on the kids. When I met my ex he had 2 boys and I had none. He (and their mother) used lots of bad language around them and did the 'do as I say, not as I do' thing. It was clear to me that they didn't understand most of it but that wasn't going to stop them from using it when they thought their parents couldn't hear them or when they were upset about something. I didn't like it (the parents or the children cussing) mainly because that wasn't how I was raised. So I discussed with my ex and the kids that I thought it made them sound uneducated and started a cuss cup that I had to enforce. The kids were no problem and in no time improving their vocabulary by leaps and bounds and were also helping me to catch their dad and get him to pay up. To be honest they caught me a few times too which made me even happier that we started it. I mean, once you hear things enough its easy to change and be desensitized. It eventually made an impact and we used the money for a family night at the arcade. Then I found out from the kids that my ex was only cleaning up his language around the house (me) so that he wouldn't have to pay. They also shared that it was embarrasing to them that he used that kind of language. Since money was his motivation I started a new program. If they were out in public and caught their dad, he had to pay the money directly to them. If he didn't pay at the time of the cussing, the child could report to me and then he would owe double, once to the child and once to the cup. In the end the only real effect it had for my stubborn ex was changing his f bombs to the word freaking but it was an improvement. The boys are grown up now and the children I had have a very extensive vocabulary but I have to admit from time to time I slip up and they catch me. However, they learned it from the occasional side not the always side so they don't use (or misuse) it much. Every child is different and every family as well. Each one has to do what makes them feel comfortable.

We don't use our "home" or "car" words anywhere BUT home or in the car! I think there's been ONE instance at school where he's slipped and I KNOW we left the park last weekend-- if you're using home words somewhere fun, its time to go HOME! (He gets one free reminder and then we leave!)

I am MUCH more concerned about the TONE of what he says when speaking with people than the word choice though. And I think it's VERY important for him to feel free to express what he thinks and feels at home-- although I will often ask questions and make him think about it even MORE! "I KNOW you're mad that the computer's broke and M. can't fix it, but how do you think it makes M. feel when you say (whatever) in that hurtful tone of voice? Do you think it might work better to say (better alternative)?

And I freely admit to being WEIRD-- my reaction to being called a "stupid b*tch" is almost always "did you just call me STUPID?????"