Cry It Out Method

Oh C....
Judging from these responses you are probably more confused than ever. Let me just say that this worked with my first child but not the second. My two girls had very different personalities from the start and its just up to you to find what works for you. I'd say if you tried this and after 3 nights it didn't work, try something else. At six months he probably still needs a night time feeding. Don't worry, this is not forever, you will sleep again :)

C.,

I see you have so many responses. I'm not sure I will add much, but I do want to encourage you. You're the mommy, and even when it seems that you don't have all the answers, you certainly have more than your baby. Whatever method you decide on to get him to sleep, be confident, and stick by it consistently. I think babies need our consistency more than they need any particular pattern. It seems to calm babies down when they feel their world is predictable.

I agree with moms who've mentioned that your baby may be teething. However, I will say, my daughter had several episodes like this in her first year and didn't get any teeth until 15 months old.

I used the crying it out method very early on, but I always tempered it with my assessment of the situation. The point is not "cry it out for crying sake." The point is to teach your baby that he is "okay" even if you are not at his beckon call. Is he hungry? Is he cold/hot? Does his diaper need changing, or is he in pain? If not, then he'll be okay. That's sort of the process I went through with my daughter... I thought to myself, "I've done everything I can to meet her needs--aside from holding her every moment, now what?" When I knew I had met her physical needs and we both needed sleep, I chose not to set a pattern I didn't want to repeat for months to come: rocking her to sleep, sleeping with her, patting her at every whimper, etc. I always asked myself the question: "Do I want to create a pattern of doing this every time?"
I always checked on my daughter's cries, I just had to assess each one and ask, "Why is she crying?" Sometimes it's a bit of a guessing game or experiment, but nevertheless, as the mom you get really astute at figuring it all out.

Blessings to you as you continue to discover motherhood with your precious son.

S. J.

P.S. I forgot to mention that "crying it out in a baby's own bed" worked for me and 3 other friends who tried the same method. My little girl slept through the night at 4 weeks, my friends at 2 weeks (she had a 10 pound baby already), and my other two friends at 2 months and 3 months. Every once in a while, we still had these nights when our babies would cry out in the night, but that's when we'd just assess the situation and respond accordingly. I had another friend who did things differently. Her baby was just as happy, but took months longer to sleep through the night. I hope this helps!

Hi C.!
I commend you for creative thinking, as for making the switch of beds at this point. I do believe in crying it out. I have 3 kids aged 11 years, 4 years, and 8 months. With my first I rocked her to sleep at night, she then became reliant on me to get to sleep - at 18 months old, I was STILL rocking her to sleep! I do NOT reccomend this! With the next two they learned to go to sleep on their own - and thank God for that! It does take some work on your part - not picking them up and let them go to sleep on their own. The first few times, it may take a while because he is holding out for someone to come.

One thing I wanted to mention about him waking up twice in the night now all of a sudden....is he teething? My 8 month old is teething and did that on me a few times during teething. I think it's okay to pick them up and comfort them, but don't feed him or change his diaper (unless its necessary).

I hope this was helpful to you. Good luck!

R.

I think 6 months is a little young for letting him cry it out. He may be teething and that is what is waking him up. Babies will have teething pain when the teeth are still below the surface of the gums. Try giving him some Tylenol if he wakes up and see if that helps.

he could be teething and waking because he is uncomfortable. Kids are so unpredictable you will see that. As soon as you think you got it figured out it will change. :-) If he is teething then you can give him something otherwise if you want to try another method to assist in sleeping we used the pick up put down method. When the childs starts to cry you pick him up breifly to assure him you are there then place him back down and when he gets up again repeat. Yes this can take awhile but it works. The book I got this from is the baby whisperer, tracy hogg. The cry it out method is just one way. I hope you find something that works for all of you.

Having a child is such a wonderful and fascinating learning experience for all of you. Please know that you are the ultimate source of what to do. Follow your heart.

If you do not like the sound of his crying, it is because he is doing all he can to tell you he needs you and that he is scared. People who push the "cry it out" method do so because it makes things easier for *them*. It is never better for the child to think that he can not trust his mommy or daddy to be there if he needs them.

Read Erikson on Child Development and it may help you to understand.

When a little one is so very young, their experiences and their ability to communicate are very limited, and thus creates a frustrating situation.

Imagine that you are completely unsure of what is going on, you wake up in a place that you are not very familiar with, and you are alone. You have no way of taking care of yourself an no way of commuicating "I am scared" "I am tired" or even "I am alone and don't like it" except by crying.

If you cry and someone comes to get you or checks in on you, you then learn that no matter what there is a person in your life you can count on, that you can trust. Once you have built that trust in your relationship, you will find that your child will grow up to be a confident, resilient, compassionate person who knows he is loved and will be kept safe and happy by those who care for him. Of course he is going to cry to test you, he is learning, but once he figures out that he can trust that you will always be there for him, believe me he will stop.

I know this sounds a little harsh, but as a parent and an Early Childhood Education Teacher, I can only tell you that too often *our* parents raised us in traditional methods that made lives easier for the parent at the expense of the child. It wasn't because they were bad, or parents who do use the cry it out method are bad. They are doing what they have been told or taught is the way to raise a child. It is nobody's fault, it is just a matter of just learning a way that honors the child.

If he sleeps in the family bed, lie down with him until he falls asleep and if he wakes go back to him and comfort him until he goes back to sleep. Trust me, there has NEVER been a child who went to college and needed his mommy to go to sleep with him, he will let you know when he is a big boy and ready to go to bed on his own. Mine did at 2 1/2, but only after he had learned to trust that we would always be there.

If he sleeps in a crib, sit with him, hold his hand or rub his back until he falls asleep and if he wakes sit with him and give him all the comfort he needs. It isn't spoiling him, it is teaching him that as his mommy you are there to keep him safe and happy.

Sounds a little too labor intensive? Please keep in mind that as a 6 month old, he still hasn't made the cognative jump into realizing that he isn't part of you and that you are not part of him. Babies do not yet understand that they are not a connected part of the mother. So, of course he is going to be scared if he wakes up alone. If you woke up and half of your body was missing and you didn't know why wouldn't you be afraid too?

You are obviously a wonderful, caring parent who is already giving her son so much love...just keep doing what you are already doing well and you will have a happy, healthy child.

hi C.,
congrats on trying to figure it out.... you are obviously a wonderful mom!
i did the cry it out method with my first one for about a week, however i just had my second child and am now sooooooo much more educated by all of the research i have done. The cry it out method is NOT the way to go. In your baby's first year, he is learning who he can trust..... allowing him to scream and not be comforted especially while falling asleep could really damage his trust in you. I know you may be tired as i was too, however, being a parent is really the apitamy of sucking it up and putting your best game face on. Cuddle him, love him as much as you can because when he hits about a year old you will wish he still wanted to cuddle you :) Please love it while you can it goes away SO fast. I'am actually shocked that people look at putting their children to sleep as some kind of chore rather than a wonderful gift that has been handed to us.
hope this helps
good luck in whatever decision you choose :)

I wouldn't suggest the CIO method for waking up in the middle of the night. He might be going through a growth spurt, causing hunger. If he is going to bed okay on his own, but is waking up...it just sounds like he needs something and making him cry himself back to sleep in the middle of the night when he may really need something, even if it's a little snuggeling, might make it harder for you to get him into his own crib.

He's for sure old enough to be in his own crib, that is if your long term goal is to actually have him in his own room. If you plan to share your room for a very long time, then don't worry about it. If you really do want him in his own crib, then I wouldn't wait any longer for that to happen.

Establish a really solid routine that, no matter what (grandma, dad, babysitter), it will be the same. At the same time every night, we did bath, book, bottle, song, and then bed. I wouldn't expect to switch him to a new room/bed and think he'll fall asleep easily. You may have a month or so of walking around or rocking so you can get him to fall asleep. Then he can get used to waking up in his own crib. And if he wakes up in the middle of the night, he may need a little soothing to get him back to bed. I know, it's hard to go from sleeping all night to going back to getting up, but it's not uncommon.

After a few months of this, he will be used to his own room and his own bed. He'll most likely be sleeping through the night again. At that point, if you are still having a hard time getting him to fall asleep in the beginning of the night by himself, then a CIO method may work.

At 6 months he is still pretty little for that method. We used it for the first time when our daughter was 9 months old and only to get her to initially fall asleep. If she woke in the middle of the night I'd always go in and pick her up and make sure she was okay. Sometimes a growth spurt can make them hungry or, at that age, teething, maybe a leaker of a diaper, etc. I never expected our kids to not wake up in the middle of the night and if they did they didn't have to put themselves to sleep. However, when I knew they were old enough to be falling asleep on their own in the beginning of the night I did let them cry. Fortunately, it didn't take very long and now they are both wonderful sleepers that know I will be there in a heartbeat if they need something.

Good luck!

Hi C....

There is one thing you should keep in the front of your mind (and heart) when considering what's best for your baby: Before you realize where the time went, he'll be asking for the car keys!

We have 3 girls (the youngest is 9 1/2 now), and I used different approaches for all 3 of them. They were each so very different from day one! I did use the "cry it out" method with our youngest (probably because I was also so exhausted!), but I set the timer and if she cried longer than 5 minutes, I went in and got her. Anything longer than that for a baby younger than 12 months can lead to unnecessary stress. Babies need reassurance and they need to know that you'll always be there when they need you. (Of course, you already know that!)

I think before you let them cry it out, you need to create a safe & familiar play area (if you haven't already) and let them play where they cannot see you during the daytime - when they're happy (just fed, just woke up, etc.). Once your little guy learns to play happily for 5-10 minutes in a playpen confidently, he may accept being in his crib at bedtime without you being right there easier.

Our middle daughter had extreme separation anxiety, so it took her longer to accept being laid in her bed to sleep while awake.

Everyone has a different "gut feeling" about this, but I gave in too soon almost every time. I'm now very glad that I did. Our middle daughter was still crawling into our bed at age 5 - but we didn't find it a nuisance because our oldest daughter was already a teenager and we knew how fast time had flown! We simply waited until she was asleep and secure, and carried her back to her bed.

I now miss those times when my little ones tucked their sweet heads into my neck and never wanted to be put down. It's so overwhelming when you're there... and sometimes you feel like you're always going to have a little one to haul around without a break to pee!

But when they get to the teenage years, you'll realize that those times you so tirelessly cuddled them for a few minutes more also developed the trust between you - and you'll cherish the times your son comes to you with questions and secrets that he won't even share with his closest friends!

No matter what you decide, know that the love you have for your baby boy will overpower any imperfections you have as a mom... and as long as you are consistent and provide healthy and loving boundaries - he will grow into a wonderful young man.

Go with your heart - you can't go wrong by trusting your instincts!

Blessings,

M.

C.,

We have twins and did something like this with the both of them and it really worked for all of us. I learned it from a book called "The Contented Little Baby Book" we followed the steps and we always had contented litlle babies. I hope that this helps.

C.

I loved the "Sleep Easy sleep solution" by Waldburger and Spivak. It's cry it out but more gentle, and very effective! They have advice on every age, and including getting your child to sleep in hi/her own room/crib.
Good luck!

I tried this method when my son was about 6 months old, to be frank... it just didn't work for us at all. It wasn't right for my children. My son screamed and we waited in another room, we checked on him every 5 minutes, patted his back, tried to soothe him but didn't pick him up. We continued this process for 1 1/2 hours of straight screaming! We were determined to make him fall asleep in his crib. He was fed, he was changed, we had read about the technique and figured if we tried it long enough he would fall asleep. Boy were we wrong! His screams got louder and more intense, he never let up. We checked on him every 5 minutes and tried to soothe him just as we were told, but after an hour and a half my husband and I looked at each other and tried to figure out why we were torturing ourselves this way.
We knew how to put our son to sleep. Our son was not a cryer, he never cried unless he was hungry. He was an excellent baby, as all four have been. So we decided to stick with what worked. We fed him and rocked him to sleep. He slept with us, he slept with his brothers. I'm not really looking to have an "independent baby" anyway, we're a family and we're all dependent on each other. I like it that way. I'm dependent on the Lord, my children are dependent on me. Seems very natural. :-)

I know a lot of people swear by this method, it just isn't right for everybody. Then again, what is? I would say give it a try, if you like it and it works for you then go for it. But don't feel like a bad parent if you decide to do something different.

Also, is your son eating solid food? If not he may be telling you its time. Babies often wake up in the night if they are hungry. A little more solid food before bedtime may help him get through the night undisturbed.

Be blessed.

I'm no expert on this and I know many women have very strong opinions on it, I just wanted to share that the couple of times I have had to let my daughter (she's almost 8 months) cry it out, she never really did 'cry it out'. She didn't stop crying and after a few minutes (after I was more calm, mind you) I did go get her, sit and play with her for a few minutes, rock her or read to her, whatever she seemed to be in the mood for at the time, and then put her back in bed and she was fine.

I'm on the fence with crying it out because babies almost always 'need' something if they cry, even if it is just some cuddle time with you. But then there are times when nothing you do seems to make them stop and that's when I have to take a break and let her have her moment. But bottom line, THEY NEED TO KNOW THAT YOU WILL BE THERE FOR THEM NO MATTER WHAT, even if you take a break for a few minutes because nothing is helping.

If he's teething, the teething tablets have worked wonders for us. Sometimes she wakes up and is not hungry but clearly something is bothering her, it's usually her teeth. I give her a couple of teething tablets, stroke her hair and she's off to sleep again minutes later.

One thing I will say, not sure if you're doing this or not but having a pretty 'routine' bedtime, where we do everything the same way every night has worked wonders for us. Around the same time every night, I take her upstairs and put her PJ's on, then go back down stairs for a bottle and a little playtime with her dad and me. When she starts rubbing her eyes, I take her over to kiss daddy 'ni-ni', then take her upstairs, kiss her good night and tell her to be a good girl and go 'ni-ni', and almost immediately as soon as she hits the mattress, she turns to her side and closes her eyes. Whether she does that or if she starts playing with the covers or whatever, I always play her Baby Einstein Musical Turtle and she's at the point where she knows that means I'm leaving the room and it's time to settle down. I can hear her on the monitor sometimes playing for a few minutes, but by the time the Turtle shuts off she's usually asleep.

I also want to add that she goes through 'times' when she doesn't sleep through the night. Sometimes for a week or so she'll get up once or twice during the night -- kinda upsetting sometimes when I have to work the next day but keep reminding yourself that it's TEMPORARY. Eventually they do sleep all night, every night, so try to enjoy your quiet moments with the baby during those wakeup times... at some point you will miss those moments!

I hope this helps,
J.

I am an avid fan of cry-it-out, after two boys of my own, and watching my 'attachment parenting' friends (as if I'm not attached to my babies and vice-versa!) go through months and months of sleepless nights!
There are two approaches to try: check his diaper, feed him, make sure he's warm, put him in his crib (with songs and kisses or whatever your routine is) and walk away. He may cry the first time, a little bit longer the second time, but after that it should get shorter and shorter. The CRIO Guru, Ferber, recommends checking on your baby every fifteen minutes, but I found with my older boy he just cried longer if he knew I might come in-- even if I didn't nurse him or anything! So, for for both he and my second I adopted a 'put him down and walk away' style. Of course, if they cry *too* long (they both started at about 40 minutes but in a night or two were down to 5 or less) long I'd go check for a last minute poo, or that I'd left the light on or the heater off. Good luck!

He might be teething. I agree with the previous response, try to give him some tylenol to see if that helps. I did not do cio until 1 month ago (11 mo old) because my son was teething. The nights his teeth were not bothering him he would sleep all night..Good luck..

Hi C.,
Well, here is what I think about the crying it out method: It works for certain babies, others it dosen't. I have always believed that letting your baby cry it out is beneficial to them learning that they have the ability to soothe themselves to sleep and do not need mom to get them to sleep. They can develop a sense of self and identity through self soothing and if they are well loved and cared for and get plenty of interaction with you all day, then it shouldn't be such a difficult thing for them to soothe themselves to sleep. I let both of my children, when they were babies, to cry themselves back to sleep, not all the time, but sometimes. Like when I knew they were not done with their naps or if they got woken up too early by a noise or something. I would quietly sneak in, avoid eyecontact and gently lay them back down or rub their back and whisper, "shhh, back to sleep, shhh" Then I would quickly and calmly walk out. They would be angry at this and cry after me. I would just leave them alone, always listening to make sure everything was o.k. and within a few minutes they would go back to sleep, or begin talking or playing. This worked for my babies, but it might not work for others. I'm the kind of mom who has always thought that fostering independance in your children is one of the most important life skills we can give them, and I believe it begins in baby hood. It is not cruel to help your baby realize that they have the ability to calm themselves down and go back to sleep. To help them realize this, we shouldn't rush to help them go back to sleep every single time they wake up and cry. My babies had sleep aids also, with my son it was a pacifier, and my daughter had a little blanket. Does your son have anything he could use to self soothe himself to sleep? Good luck with this, I know the sleep issues with babies are tough ones. Try different methods, see what your comfortable with, have lots of patience and know this stage will pass.

Hi Candace,

This is an emotional topic for moms and I'd imagine you're going to get strong opinions from both sides.
My advice is to go with what your gut feels when you're child is crying out for comfort. What does your body and heart tell you? Do you have to fight to keep from going to him? Listen to that because that is your connection to your child and it should be honored. He will be all the more secure to know that when he calls, someone comes to him. It's a message that has life long ramifications. Children aren't pets that need to be conditioned or trained. They need a solid connection to their source and that is you, mommy!
Follow your heart!
T.

Hell C.,
I didn't have a chance to read the 20 responses you have so far, so I had some input that you may have already received. What I've been doing while trying to decide on a sleep training method (I've been going back and fourth on different ones for the past 4 or 5 months and still can’t decide) is look at them on Amazon. You can read the reviews (pros and cons) and you can read parts of the book. It is very helpful to see if it's something that you can read or not, as well if the method will work for you.
Best of luck!
C.

If he's unsure about being in his own crib without Mom around, have you thought of perhaps trying him in the "big boy crib" in your bedroom for a couple of weeks at first, and then moving the crib back to his own room? (Granted, it will only work if your room's big enough, but just a suggestion!) Perhaps he just needs your reassurance about his new surroundings, and a gradual change would make it easier for him. Also, maybe you might make sure there is a picture of the family hanging on the wall where he could see it when he lays down at night. It might give him a bit of comfort just to see mom's face if he wakes up in the night.

Good luck hon! Hope things are working out for you guys!

C.,
Try his bed out for his naps first. Get him used to it during the day and this way at night when it's dark it won't be so scary. It will be a familiar place for him at night. I would think that maybe now that he is 6 months old he is needing more room and the cradle is way too small. Move him now it will only get harder the older he gets. The experts say that what ever you try, it usually takes about 3 days. Get a musical lullaby to attach to the side of the crib. These are wonderful and my 1 year old uses it every night. It is quite soothing.I started very early on regarding putting our babies to bed on their own. We had a routine every night, and then all our kids were put into their own beds by 3 months old and know no different. I had twins unexpected my first pregnancy and their was no way 2 little ones were coming into my bed. It would have been way too crowded and they learned early who's bed was who's. Now 9, 6 and 1 all my kids go to their own rooms at 8:15pm and this becomes quiet time for reading, "some" TV and intimacy for my husband and I. Start co-sleeping now, your child will be in your bed for a long time.

Good luck,T

hello C.,
i would say that now would be a good time to start him on that because it's better now than when he's 1 years old and knows that he might just get his way. my son is now 2 1/2 and does not fall asleep on his own because he's too old now, i have to lay there next to him in order for him to fall asleep. I wish i would have trained him earlier to just fall asleep in his cribe, but we live in a town house with very thin walls and the crying would just disturbe my neighbors and i'd get complaints, so i was never able to do that, although there were times i wanted to. now with him being older and when time-out comes i don't care about my neighbors hearing him cry, but that's another story. so i suggest you start letting him cry until he falls asleep. i think i've read in some parenting magazines that you should let him cry for about 10 minutes, then maybe check on him just to make sure he's ok, then let him cry more and check on him again...just keep checking in on him, but make sure not to let him see you or to not go in the room, just peek...i'm sure he'll get the idea you're not coming in to pick him up...soon he'll get tired of crying and fall asleep. it will take a while for him to get use to that, but it will be all worth it in the end...it will be much easier for you and your fiance as first time parents! i hope this helps! and good luck =)
M.

Hi C.,

I'm 28 with a sixth-month old as well, and like yours, she was sleeping through the night for over a month, and recently switched to two wake-ups per night. She goes to bed around 8:30, and I've found that giving her a bottle (or feeding if you're still breast feeding) at 10:00 right before I go to sleep has reduced her wakings to one per night. She doesn't wake up for the 10:00 feeding, I just pick her up, feed her the bottle, and put her back down--she never opens her eyes. I used this method before to cut down on earlier night wakings, and after a week or so I stop the 10:00 feeding and she drops one wake-up per night.

Anyway, you asked about cry-it-out. My daughter has slept in a crib in her own room from the get-go, so there might be a difference, but we started sleep training at 2 mos with a modified cry-it-out. She's a snuggler, so I wrapped her in a blanket when she was sleepy, and walked or bounced her softly until she was drowsy and nearly asleep, but not quite. Then I put her down awake. She would wake right up and cry a lot at first, and I would go in after five min. or so to calm her, but not pick her back up, repeating after every 5 or 10 min. After 30 min. I would pick her up and put her to sleep her usual way. This was for every nap as well as bedtime. After a few days, she would put herself to sleep within those first five min. Now we're to the point where when she's sleepy, I just wrap her up and put her down, and she's asleep within 5 min, though at the 6-mo point she started struggling again, so we're going through the same steps again.

I recommend the book "Sleeping through the Night" by Jody Michell (not sure if I spelled her name right). I checked it out at the library, and found it very helpful, giving several different options you can choose to fit your baby's personality and your own parenting style (no one-size-fits-all advice). There are different sections for different ages, and I'm about to check it out again to read the advice for a 6-mo old. Hope this helps!

Good luck!
J.

Apparently some babies respond to the CIO method with no real trouble, but for some babies it just doesn't work. My son was one of those babies, and I ended up being glad that I didn't listen to my aunties and every lady I met in the checkout line and listened to my heart instead. My son made me a more patient and loving person, and it was worth every sleepless night.

We need to give each child the parenting that individual child needs at each point in his or her life. It's not a recipe where you measure and bake and stir and they all come out the same! You are dealing with a person- a tiny, vulnerable six month old person.

I could go on and on about this, but I won't. I'd just like to suggest that if you read Richard Ferber, please also read Night Time Parenting by Dr. William Sears. If CIO works for you and your baby with no real trouble, great. If your baby isn't crying and crying and crying, if he adjusts easily, that's great. But if he doesn't there is another way. Parenting is a process of working out works best for you and your baby. Good luck C.!

If your son was previously sleeping through the night, but is now waking up, then he is waking up for a reason. It could be a growth spurt, it could be teething, he could be sick. I would not let him cry it out. Something is happening, and you need to find out what it is. You might not be able to fix it much (as in the case of teething), but when you're in pain, it's good to have someone there to comfort you. No one, even a baby, likes to be in pain and left to cry alone.

All that said, I have used CIO (cry it out) with both my daughters. It worked really well with my older daughter (I used it at 5 months with her), and it has sort of worked with my current baby. It has helped, but she really hates to sleep, so she cries pretty much every time I put her down. Oh, well. Every kid is different.

If you decide to use CIO at some point (and I wouldn't do it right now), make sure your kid is healthy and adaquately fed when you try it. You don't want your kid crying because he's hungry or sick. Make sure you know the difference between protest crying ("I don't want to go to sleep!") and a cry that says that something is wrong. Also, your son may still wake up once a night to be fed for a few more months yet, especially if you're nursing him. That's normal.

I don't think that 6 months is too young to do CIO. In fact, I think it's the optimal time -- if it's needed. In your case, it doesn't sound like he needs it. He already was sleeping through the night, but something changed and he's waking up again. There's very likely something that he needs you to help him with.

One more thing: if you think he's waking up because he's hungry, make sure to give him some solid food at supper time. When I started doing that with my daughter, then she began doing 7-9 hour sleep stretches at night, which I would call "sleeping through the night." She still wakes up between 3am and 5am to eat, because she goes to bed between 7 & 7:30 pm, but one wake-up a night is normal behavior, and not one that I'm going to try to change at this point. Later on, she'll outgrow this wake-up, too.

Good luck!

~ E.

It works! It takes two nights, maybe three. The earlier the better while your baby is young. I did it when my daughter was 6 months old and waking up every 2 hours every night! I couldn't stand it anymore. Then, I did it with my second child even earlier. They both sleep 3 hours everyday for a nap and go to bed at 8 without difficulty and sleep through the night. I rocked them, put them down, waited 5 minutes, reassured them, waited 10 minutes, reassured them, etc. Try to make the same routine every night. We do bath, rock a little in the chair and then bed while awake. Give him something special to hold onto (like a small favorite stuffed animal). When he is crying, give him the toy, tell him the same thing, like it is nightime and you love him and walk out of the room. It works. The first night is the worst.

i'd recommend that you read this book: The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night by Elizabeth Pantley.

CIO is stressful on you and the baby. if you could get him to sleep on his own without the crying, that would be the ideal solution, right? this book is definitely worth your time. i'm sure you could find it at your local library. if not, try amazon, ebay or half.com.

hope that helps.

Iv think he has already outgrown the cradle and needs more room so putting him in his crib will help. Start with naps so he can get used to it. He is growing so maybe he needs to start a little cereal now at night. When hw wakes in the night try not to turn any lights on or very dim so he doesn't get the feeling it is time to get up.

Hi C.
This is a hard topic because there are some that dont like the CIO method or some that have tried it and worked. I have two daughters that are 12 1/2 months apart ( 2 1/2 & 1 1/2) When we had our first she didnt sleep well, we would pace to put her to sleep. Finally, we gave in and let her sleep in bed with us.. wow we were in for it when she got older and her sister was born. We got her in a toddler bed but she wanted to come back to bed with us and then we would have to lay on the floor until she was asleep.

With our second we really needed the sleep so the dr told us to not just jump and run if she cried. So we would let her cry for a little ( this was at like 7 months) then we would go in and comfort her.. we also gave her a blanket which she now uses to put herself to sleep. the dr told us that it is great if they have something like a stuffed animal or blanket to help soothe them to sleep.

Good Luck, it is a hard time but so worth all the efforts you put into it. :)
A.

Please call my wife, we have copies of a great book called "What I wish I knew when my kids were young." We give them away to those who want them. Rick and A. ###-###-####

I am not a fan of "cry it out" as I simply did not have the stomach for it. Instead, we used the methods outlined by Kim West, aka "The Sleep Lady" in her book "Good Night, Sleep Tight." It is a step by step approach that she calls the "sleep shuffle" and it worked for both of my boys - now age 5 and 3 1/2 to transition them into their own bed and to deal with sleep issues as they come up. I highly recommend it! Best of luck to you, sleep issues can be so frustrating! If your little one is not sleeping, neither are you! I understand, but be patient, this too shall pass.

hey -- i did not let my kid cry it out, but had a few times when i was trying to push for more independence in his sleeping situation and one thing i learned was that it was so much easier and less heart-breaking to slowly evolve with my son instead of trying something so intense and rigid. i would struggle and let him cry and then a few weeks later he would be ready for it on his own. once i stopped expecting him to fulfill the expectations of what i thought he should be doing and accepting what he was ready to do, our sleep ritual became so much more pleasant and bonding.

speaking of ritual, there is not one thing more important for you child regaarding sleep than a well-established ritual for bed. ours is dinner, bath, 2 books in the rocker, and into bed with soft music. we have been very hands on with singing, talking-down, holding hands, snuggling, or whatever, and eased away from the contact slowly to get him more and more confident falling asleep by himself.

oh -- and dont worry too mucha bout a 6 mo waking up twice. there is so much changing and going on at this young age, it will not be this way for long.

i am not a fan of the cry it out method. it is very normal and typical for a child to go through different stages in their sleep patterns during the first several years of their life. just when you think you've got them sleeping all night it changes and you are back to square one. it doesn't mean there is anything wrong, it's just their sleep patterns which are not like adults. many of my friends who have done the cry it out method find that it has no long term success. like everyone else, they find their kids going through cycles. parenting doesn't stop when we put our kid to bed. we have to constantly be in tune to their needs. if you are looking for some help check out "the no cry sleep solution" by elizabeth pantley. you might find it a nicer and more sensitive solution. and when you are feeling frustrated, which is also very normal and common, just try to imagine what it must be like to be a little baby who is by himself in the dark. good luck.

I have 2 children now....son 9 yrs and daughter 11 yrs. I had a realy hard time with my daughter...she was my first. We started to move her cradle away from our bed a few feet every night, then out the bedroom door with our door open, then down the small hall, by the 5th night into her own room. We made a big deal to her this is your own room. every day we would play in her room or sit in it and read books, then put her down for naps in her room. by the 7th night she was sleeping in her room with no prob. If she woke up she would go back to sleep, some times she might be teething so I would put the teething gel on my finger go in quietly and put it on her teeth, No Talking, No Playing, No picking up, No Bright light. Then I would lay her down again and walk out and close the door. She was safe and just fine. If your son cries a little.... Its ok. In about 10 min or so he will go back to sleep. If you go in every time he cries, he will remember this and continue to cry untill someone comes it and picks him up. My son on the other hand, I put him in his own room at 3 m. It made it easier for the transition thay young. A rutine is important to all babys and children. Bed time same time every night, and getting up same time every day, Nap same time every day. this will make things easier for you too. You know when your free time will be. Also during naps in his own room I would sugessed....If you need to vaccume....DO IT. This way every little noise won't wake him up. He will be use to it.
Hope this helps!!!!

CIO method really worked for us. The first weekend after my baby turned 4 mos, we let her CIO. It took about a week for her to "get it." It was a hard decision to make and you have to make sure you & your fiance are 100% committed to this decision. Always keep in mind that your teaching your baby to soothe himself to sleep which is a skill like sitting or crawling.

My baby is now 1 year old and is a great sleeper. Even if she is not ready to sleep, she plays in her crib by herself (no crying) until she is ready to sleep. Before I know it, she's asleep!

Dr. Weissbluth's book is worth reading, "happy baby healthy sleep habits. I forget the exact title.

I think you should consider looking at the Baby Whisperer books. She has a great method for getting babies, toddlers, sleeping without having to let them cry it out. It worked for me and my son when I was trying to get him to sleep well when I returned to work from maternity leave.

I like her first book the Baby Whisperer. One of her other books - The Baby Whisperer Solves all of your Questions is my favorite and I still use it periodically for my 2 1/2 year old son.

You do not have to let your baby cry it out! Good Luck,
K.

The people who hate it don't understand it.
Read these articles & make the decision for yourself. Especially read the "myths" section. We used the Ferber method with my 2 1/2 year old when she was younger & it worked great. It isn't perfect but nothing is because our kids change so often. This truely helped us create a bedtime ROUTINE which is at the core of the Ferber method.

http://www.babycenter.com/0_the-ferber-method-demystified...

If he's been sleeping through the night reliably and just started waking up at 6 months, he might be teething. That's the average age for first teeth, and the discomfort starts before the teeth are in evidence. Both of mine have had sleep issues with getting their teeth, despite being perfectly happy during the day. Of course you can't always know for sure that it's teeth until they appear.

Tylenol and baby orajel help, but I'm always hesitant to medicate unless I know for sure what I'm dealing with. For daytime fussiness/crankiness from teething a "frozen" wet washcloth to chew on helps. (Wet a clean washcloth, roll it tightly on the diagonal, and put in the freezer to chill, then give it to him to chew on, the cold washcloth soothes their gums).

If it is teeth, and you soothe during the night, it will become a habit, and he'll still want to wake up and hang out after the tooth discomfort is gone. We've had recent luck with sending Daddy in to soothe my daughter (6 months) back to sleep without feeding her now that our first set of teeth have cleared her gums. (I can't do it because she smells the milk, but she'll go back to sleep for him). Try not picking him up and just patting his tummy/back and shsshing. If that doesn't work, pick up and rock until he falls asleep. After a night or two of that, our daughter sleeps much longer chunks, although not all night.

Good Luck!

HI C.,
CIO didn't work for us at all. The biggest reason, honestly, was that it felt completely wrong to me as a Mom to let my baby lay there and cry. The method for me is less about teaching your child to self sooth and more about him/her giving up that you're going to come in an comfort them when they need you. Our daughter (now 4) did need some time to wind down when it was time for nap or bed, but she would fuss/cry for 10 minutes, sometimes less (but not a minute longer unless she had pooped). She still has trouble winding down. Our son (2 1/2) is a great sleeper and just went and still goes right down. They are just different kids with different needs.

Since you're little guy seems to go down ok for nap or bed and is waking at night, I would guess that there might be something else going on. Maybe he is teething or in a growth spurt?

Know that your baby will go in and out of times when they sleep well and have trouble sleeping. We put our kids to bed when they were very sleepy, but still awake so they didn't rely on being held, rocked, nursed, to sleep. Our son had a favorite stuffed animal that he bonded with and helped him have comfort to go to sleep.

My best advice is to try what you feel comfortable with and do what you feel good about as a Mom. Books are great, but some methods work for some kids and don't for others. I don't think there's the perfect way for all kids.

Hope this helps you!!

Hi C.,

I tryed this with my first child and it didnt work. My uterus would cramp when he cried and I jsut could not take it. I understand the "tough love" thing but for an infanct this was not the time. I have always had my kids sleep with me and when I tried this I felt guilt and just sadness.

I realized that they are in the womb for nine months, and feel warm and snuggled. They also hear our heart beat, breathing, laughing, sneezing and any other body noises. When they are born it is so tramatic! My philiosophy is that to put them into a dark, quiet room, alone is cruel. So they sleep with me and sleep good! When my daughter had her own room it was a big deal that she was a "big girl" and I told her that she could sleep with me once in awhile (for transitioning) and it was great - no problems.

People asked me about intimacy issues and you will find the time or plan the time to lay down with the child early to get them to sleep. I even put pillows so they felt snuggled after I got up. There is always a way.

They are so little for such a short time and with working full time or even part time, the time slips by even faster so if I can feel them and snuggle them during the night I love it. My husband was worried about hurting the baby but you learn to adjust and use the bed bumpers that go up at night and put down in the morning. I even incorporated reading into the evening schedule and my 3 year old now will tell me that she needs to get her book. My nine year old has been in her own room since she was 4 and even still once in awhile will want to sleep with us. Now four in a king size bed get crowded so daddy will give up the bed and go to the couch so I can give my girls their snuggles.

So all the way around, for me, was the best thing.

Everyone has thier own thoughts about a "family bed" and this is mine. Good luck.

I'm completely AGAINST the CIO method. I love the books, the no-cry sleep solution by Elizabeth Pantley, and healthy sleep habits happy baby by Marc Weissbluth, MD. Night wakings could be a number of things, overly tired (like we are at times), he panics because he's afraid, lonely and cries out for mama or dada and they don't respond...what is that teaching your baby. I say take every advice you can, sort through it and find bits and pieces to mold into your family style. For us, my son slept inhis infant carrier for months, and in his crib. Goes back and forth. In his crib he lays on his side with a bollo pillow for support; he wakes a few times but his wakings are due to hunger or a need for repositioning. I want to be up and respond to his crys. I want to instill in him that HE CAN COUNT ON ME. At six months, I already see a bond that is strongly growing and he looks for me when he doesn't see me. To me this is wonderful and gives me a sense of accomplishment to know that he trusts me for his every need. Yes he does need to learn independence, and he is throughout his daytime activities. Nighttime is still one time that I'll attend to his every cry.

Best of luck.

PS - we do not co-sleep either.