For those moms out there who have chosen to cosleep I have a few questions. With my son, who is now 3 1/2, I was never able to nurse lying down and he was such a restless sleeper that we moved him to his crib pretty early. He was not a perfect sleeper by any means, but we all got a better night's rest when he was in his own bed. My daugher, who is 9 months old, has been so easy from the beginning that I often just moved her to bed to nurse and she went peacefully back to sleep all on her own and didn't budge. As a result I've done a lot more cosleeping with her. We had been putting her to bed in her crib and then when she woke to eat between 2 and 5 (depending on the day) I would move her to our bed where she stayed until morning. I was totally happy with this arrangement until she started teething and had a bad cold and now she seems to wake much earlier, sometimes even before I go to bed and I have a harder time putting her to bed in her crib. I can't tell for sure if she's just used to sleeping with me and that's why it's become more difficult or if she's still teething and not feeling great. I am very hesitant to let her cry it out, but I miss having my bed to myself for at least part of the night and as she's gotten older she is also more restless in her sleep. When did you decide cosleeping wasn't working for you and how did you shift your children back into their own bed? I go back and forth about it a lot and as a result I worry that I'm not being consistent and that's why she won't get back into a routine. Just looking for a little advice about where to go from here.
After I was sure the teething and the cold were cleared up I decided to get her back into the routine of starting the night in her crib. It took me about 45 minutes to get her to go to sleep the first two nights (after our bedtime routine) and after that she went down pretty easily. She still wakes to eat around 3 and comes to our bed, so we're back to a middle ground that works for us.
When my boys were about six months old I cut out the night time feeding and the co-sleeping. I used the Ferber method. It was just time for everyone to start sleeping through the night.
My kids have all co-slept. I have let them since newborn until when they decided they wanted to be in their own bed. My little ones decided about age 3 1/2 to go and sleep in their own beds. They are good sleepers. I think in your case your baby is teething and uncomfortable, maybe in a growth spurt and just restless during the night. It should pass within a few weeks. I would hang in there and comfort her whenever she needs to be and let her sleep with you. She will settle down. I don't believe in CIO, so I would take every alternative measure than that. Don't worry....she will settle down, just give her some time.
I have co-slept with all 8 of mine. For me it worked best, and I don't believe in CIO.
Babies sleep routines change often and a lot, anything can change up their routine, and sometimes it takes time a patience to get them back into the swing of things.
Start slow, figure out which one thing is really bothering you, and work on correcting that. Once you have that under control pick the next issue and work on that. It's very unfair to just suddenly change all issue's up.
Our 5 year old still sleeps in our bed and when our 8 year old feels like it, he crawls in too. I still remember all the nights fondly and with great emotion when I think of cuddling with my parents (they have passed on). I'm a well functioning adult now who is happily married and homeschools. Once you're convinced there's nothing wrong with what you're doing, you'll find a way to work things out. The sleep thing gets better with every passing year.
I so know what you're saying! My husband and I decided to just stick it out. We really believed in being parents 24/7, even if we're tired. If they need us, we're there for them.
We did find that having them begin each night in their own bed made it much easier. It's true that there are some nights that they wake before you even make it to bed, but most nights that wasn't true.
It seems like they go through phases where they need you more at night and then phases where they won't even need you every night and on the nights they do come into your bed it's later.
Our kids grew out of it on their own. Our oldest when he was around 2 just wasn't interested at all. He wanted to be a big boy. Our youngest took longer, but he prides himself on sleeping in his own bed now, too. We are both so glad we let them sleep with us.
I am 100% against the cry it out method. I think it's terrible for a child's emotional and psychological well being. They need to know that you will be there for them when they cry; it's about trust, and it will be harder when they're younger but I believe it will help them to grow into more secure people in the future. I think consistency is your key to this, though. I've been co-sleeping with my daughter since birth, and she's about to turn 3 in February. I've had issues with consistency too, because of everyone else telling me what I need to do, and that I need to let her sleep by herself. I keep going back to what feels right to me though, and I've finally decided to stick with that. I feel your pain with wanting the bed to yourself sometimes, but I can't bring myself to do it. If I try to sleep alone, I find myself crawling in bed with her in the middle of the night or early in the morning. We have had a lot of struggles from the beginning though, so it's extra hard for me to leave her side. I think, just do what you think you should do. Follow your instincts.
Where does DAD fit in to the co-sleeping?
Hi, S.:
Why is your child crying?
Just want to know.
Sincerely,
D.
