Constant Hatefulness

I think it's very important that you have a differt sort of discussion with your son. He needs to know that you Hear him. Tell him things like I know it's not fair for the adults to be having problems and you to suffer the consequences, you should be allowe to live care free as other 8 year olds but this Is your new reality.

Have one thing just the two of you do, and for each action he picks he also picks the same consequence. Any Time he disrespects you or is hateful, show him the exact same consequence, be firm and loving...good luck!

I have had a lot of similar problems with my 6 year old since my divorce. We left an abusive relationship, he thought it was ok to talk to me that way. I have fixed that with a squirt of handsoap to the mouth, he hates it. I also realized that as long as I keep things strict and consistant, I have less problems. Every nite when I pick them up I make them repeat the rules to me. "1st warning 15 minutes in my room, 2nd warning the rest of the nite in my room and you don't care if I have eaten dinner or not." There has been much improvement with this. I have also enrolled my boys in a support group for divorced families thru the school counselor. The school counselor could help you tons, without cost. Good Luck and keep your chin up, he will grow up to be a respectful young man, he just has to learn that even without a man in the house there are still consequinces for his actions!!!

I have an 8 yr old son as well. His father and I divorced when he was 2. He has always had a bad temper. He hit when younger and threw fits all the time. Now when he gets mad he calls us names and even calls himself stupid. On the flip side, he can be compassionate, loving and is always helpful. Anyway, a little over a year ago his father had a situation with himself that didn't allow my son to spend time with him for almost a year. It was VERY difficult on him. He acted out a lot at home and at school. We tried everything but nothing worked. Finally I made an appointment with a child psychologist. We went for a few months and that helped so much. It helped us understand what we were doing wrong and it helped my son get his feelings out as well as gain tools to help him when he is angry.

Just be consistent and patient. Do not let him get away with bad behavior just becuse you are separated from his dad. However, remembering the reason behind some of his behavior will help you get through it, too. It is important to not change a lot of rules and other areas of his life since the main part of his life has been turned upside down. He is looking for something he can count on...which will be your love through consistency and discipline and consisent rules. Good luck!

It sounds like seeking counselling is in order. Many schools offer the services now too. I'm not sure what school district you are in but the Chatham school district has counselling services for things like divorce.

Been there, done that except my girls were 2 yrs old and newborn. I would say stay consistent and let him know you understand that this is a difficult time and that he can not be disrespectful to you. Once they start acting that way the longer it goes on the harder it will be to break. Good luck to you and god bless.
D.
www.Debs.ceofamilies.com