Conflicting Emotions - Not Sure What to Do

I guess the main question I'd ask myself is, "What is best for the child?" instead of, "How does this affect me?"

Only you can answer those questions. Good luck.

Are they "good" clients? If so, and you have space, definitely take them back! It's the professional thing to do.

It is my opinion that if a child cannot be with his own mother, that the fewer changes he has in childcare, the more adjusted he will be as an adult. Switching providers can be linked to attachment disorders. So, if it were me, and I cared for this child, I would take him back in a heartbeat, for as long as I could have him. If you can get him until at least 3 years old, that will help him so much for his entire life. People just don't count the true costs of what they are doing to their children by farming them out to other people to spend the bulk of their time with. I think it is because they believe the lies that are perpetuated by our society. They just don't have a clue what the consequences will be.

I run an in-home daycare and get very attached to the kids too. If you really like the child and the parents take him back, but ask up front what their intentions are. Are they going to jump ship to save a few dollars again, even though it is hard on their little one or did they learn a valuable lesson. Once you have all the info make a decision that suits you and your family. Losing a kid is never easy financialy or emotionaly. Good luck to you!

T.-
I do not run a day care but in my opinion you should do what you feel is right for the child. At my 2yo's home daycare, as long as you give two weeks notice if you leave then you are allowed back if there is an opening. However, it is not good practice for your business to allow constant disruptions. Either a child is there or they are not. Kind of like when you have the A/C on in the summer. Either the kids play outside or they play in but there is no revolving door. Give her the chance to bring her child back but warn her that your daycare is not a revolving door. It is not good for her child and it is not good for the other kids you watch to be constantly disrupted. If she wants to leave a second time tell her she has to wait 6 months before her child can come back. Or something you feel comfortable with. Hope this helps-
J.

I say love him while you can. Obviously he loves you too or he wouldn't be having such a hard time adjusting.

Don't you want the money? You cannot control how these people parent their kid. All you can do is your best for him when he's with you.

.

I agree with Julie; although it's normal to get attached to small children who you are spending several hours with each day, you will survive the comings and goings... ultimately the question is what is best for the child. It sounds as if the parents tried out a bigger setting and found it did not work. They are requesting to return to a setting that did work...so if it were me, yes, I would take him back because it was working "for the child". I would put my own feelings of attachment and separation, aside.

Best of luck!

I would ask the mom though, what her intentions are beforehand and if she tells you that she is just going to turn around and look for another less expensive daycare place right away, I would tell her that it really wouldn't be good for him to return to your daycare only to be yanked from it again. It's too many changes going on in a little kids life and he really won't understand the reasons why, just that once he settles in and bonds with people they are no longer there and he has to move on. It would be emotionally hard on him so best to let her find a new school and transer him to that right away than use your daycare as a fill-in.

If she tells you that she plans on keeping him at your daycare until he's ready for preschool, that should be fine for both you and the little boy, right? Eventually he will have to move on . . .

Hope this all works out well. Have a good day.

No offense but you are taking it personally...and I would bet anything it wasn't a personal decision on thier part to take him out. Money is tight and sometimes we have to make decisions that we aren't exactly happy with. Why should you penalize them? If you like the child, and you had a great expereince with them of course you should take him back...if they leave again, oh, well. It doesn't make sense to be petty. You are a businesswoman and this is your business. If it was a good relationship previously, be the bigger person and allow him back...hopefully he will stay. If he does..great...if not, wish them the best and carry on.

for me personally, i would probably take him back. but that is just the way that i get. if the child is well behaved, the parents are relatively drama free, and this has been the only issue with them, then i would take him back.

kudos to you being able to run a daycare. i tried, but i just got too attached to the kids and there was just too much drama from parents for me to handle! so i had to quit.

Do you want him back?
If so, tell her yes. Have her commit for a specific amount of time (like a lease).
Inform her this is your business, not a neighbor beign socialable.
Remind her that you have put effort in maintaing numbers, and you cant afford to have susomers drop in and out on a whim.
Youe wil be committed to your duties as caregiver, and you need her to be committed to your business.

We had my sister watch our kids for 4 years. At about the 2.5 mark, we were ready and she was ready to move on. A neighbor wanted to start a day care, so we were her first clients. She had to put our daughter on the bus for kindergarten, and watch out boys who were 3 and 1 at the time, with the 3 year old in part-time pre-k. It was HORRIBLE. We stuck it out for a few weeks and called my sister and begged and pleaded for her to come back. She did and thank GOD for her! Having your kids somewhere that you think might be better for them does not always work out. I would definitely let her back. But hold her to a contract. Tell her yes, but make her stay at least a year - or something along those lines. If she had the guts to come ask if he could come back, I would DEFINITELY let them!! Also, we had to pull our kids out of a day care that they LOVED this summer because my husband was out of work and I couldn't afford $350 a week! It killed us because we loved her, and it killed her because she loved our babies. She filled their spots over the summer, but luckily they were able to go back once school started and she has room for all 3 of them again. Thank GOD she let us back - because I dont know where I could find someone else who is not family that loves my babies almost as much as I do :)

They all leave at some time or another, and it's hard when it feels like they've become such a part of your life. It's just part of the business. If you got along well with the family, they paid on time, and you like the child, then take him back. Will she be signing a new contract with you? She should since her old contract came to an end when she left. It's harder to change in the middle of a year but people do it when they move.

What do you WANT to do? What feels good? The future is never certain anyway, so if it would be fun for you to have him for as long as you have him, then take him. The mom may have learned that it's not good to pull him here and there, so maybe she'll leave him with you longer this time.

Either decision is fine; go with your gut. But maybe you can talk to someone about your painfully intense emotional attachments. I'm a teacher, and I love my class every year, but I am always fine with saying goodbye in June. They are supposed to leave me! I feel happy that I have prepared them well for kindergarten.

It sounds stressful for you to be so sad when one of your little ones leaves. Is there a way you can handle it with less pain? It must be so rough on you.

I am a daycare provider and can tell you that I would take them back in a heartbeat. They are an established family, with a child that already know and loves you. I would talk to the mom first, though, to see exactly what she means by needing more attention (I have worked in home and in centers and my experience has been kids get much more attention at a home daycare than in a center), how she thought he would have benefited from the move, and how much cost is a factor. I would let her know you are concerned about taking her back and leaving again, if she found something cheaper again. After a good talk, I would take him back. Good luck.
S.

money is money...you need to decide whats in your best interest....

Hello
in your type of business, feeling loss goes with the territory.. There is no guaranty that anyone will never leave and I think one has to deal with that aspect of running a daycare business. What is best for the child is what counts... I think it's great that you actually have feelings for the kids when some who run this type of business , let alone other businesses such as taking in foster kids, don't always really care about the kids and only do it for the money. So kudos to your having true feelings.. but as mentioned, you may need to find ways in which to deal with those emotions. I am not saying don't feel sad... just try and keep in mind.... this may not be the last time you feel this way due to a child leaving..
Keep up the great work!
best wishes

You asked for opinions.
I say let the little boy come back. These are critical ages for the little ones with bonding. I bet he's crying all the time at the new place and when he does see his mommy or daddy is hanging on for dear life. You have already made a great connection with this little boy. Don't be so offended that the mother wanted to save a little money. Who doesn't? I feel you are making it a personal attack on you, but it wasn't. Maybe this family is going through a really tight money situation, but she knows her son is better with you than in the other day care so they will cut back some where else. You have room for him, you bonded with him greatly, you are just mad at the mother for taking him out. That sounds way too selfish too me. The only way I'd say not to let him come back is if you can't give him the quality care you did before because you are mad at the mother for taking him out in the first place. If you still have loving arms to hold him, welcome him back. This little boy is hurting inside. He never wanted to leave you to go to this new daycare it was just the mother who wanted to save a few dollars.