Concieving After Being on the Pill for 7 Years

Updated on June 15, 2009
V.R. asks from San Antonio, TX
12 answers

I just got off the pill at the beginning of april. I found out I was pregnant in the middle of may. On the 31 I miscarried. I havent had a baby in 7 years so I really want to be pregnant again now that I have a new man in my life that doesnt have any kids of his own. I'm really scared that if I get pregnant again I will miscarry. Has this ever happened to anyone and if so how long did it take to be pregnant again? Was the pregnancy a healthy one? Any advice?

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J.M.

answers from Odessa on

Get married first. Second: Consult with your physician. You have had 2 healthy pregnancies which says alot. How old are you? Age is sometimes a factor although mostly with conception. Losing a pregnancy at any stage is always difficult and I am sorry for your loss. I do hope you take my first advice. Bringing a child into this world outside of a union (marriage) because "he doesn't have any of his own" is risky. Make sure this new man in your life is accountable. If he truly loves you he will marry you and father your child in the appropriate order.

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A.K.

answers from Houston on

I was on bc for 6 yrs before trying for number two. I know you should wait a few months before trying but I was too excited. I was planning for it to take a while but got pregnant quick with a healthy pregnancy. It just takes time. Try not to stress and let it overwhelm you and when your mind is free it will happen. Sorry about your loss, but don't give up hope just yet.

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D.F.

answers from Austin on

We miscarried the first time we got pregnant as well. I had been on the pill for 18 years. Remember that 1 in 3 pregnancies ends in miscarriage. That in no way minimizes your loss, but know that you are not alone.

Emotionally I had to get past my original due date, then let go (truly - not counting days or anything) of the expectation and stress of trying to conceive. 3 months after that, we were pregnant! Although I will tell you that we told no one this time and held our breath until I was 4 months along. I was 36 when I delivered and my SIL was 41 so age doesn't necessarily matter.

Good luck and have fun! Remember the fun and romance in trying and it'll happen!

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J.H.

answers from San Antonio on

I agree with Jeannie M. you should seriously consider get married first before you consider having another child. If he's already proposed what's stopping you from getting married? Do things in the order that God intended. First comes marriage, then comes baby. Don't rush into a pregnancy before you have the security that comes from a mutually loving and respectful marriage relationship. This will be a great benefit to both you and your future child. I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but are you trying to trap him into your life by making him a father? Are you feeling insecure?...you said, "I really want to get pregnant again now that I have a new man in my life that doesn't have any kids of his own."

As for the miscarriage I am sorry about your loss. The fact that you conceived should give you hope that you will be able to conceive again, when the time is right, and have a healthy pregnancy.

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A.C.

answers from Houston on

I am so sorry that you've experienced a miscarriage. It isn't easy to bear at any stage.

I haven't been on any BCP for many years, but the last recommendation I had heard was that you should wait 4-6 months after stopping the pill before trying to get pregnant. This allows your natural hormone levels to return and your cycle to regulate.

There is a lot of conflicting research about whether or not the extended use of BCP can lead to future miscarriage. But it is quite widely agreed today that home pregnancy tests have increased "miscarriages". Their increasing sensitivity informs us about "potential" pregnancy sooner than ever. Not every baby is meant to carry to term--just think of all the things that have to happen just right in the first few weeks.

Take care of yourself, start a good prenatal (if you haven't already), and wait just a few more months. Good luck--it will happen when it is supposed to!

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A.R.

answers from San Antonio on

Hello. First, let me say I'm happy that you have found love, again. However, my personal belief is that you should wait until you are married, before you bring children into the world.
Now, to the issue at hand: My best friend was in your exact position, and had the same exact outcome. She was so devastated, she went through several methods of birth control so she wouldn't have to go through another miscarriage. She even tried the new IUD. Like you, she fell
in love and wanted a baby; 2 1/2 years later, she became pregnant. Today, she has the most handsome baby boy I've ever seen! The pregnancy was normal, and her baby boy was born strong and healthy. We believe her waiting until her body had rested, and her mind was at ease made a huge impact on her situation. She'll probably always miss the baby who didn't live, but mentally she was in a healthy and good place. So my advice to you is to wait a little while. I don't know how old you are, but don't rush it. Give yourself enough time to totally heal (mind, body, & spirit), and plan well before you try again. Prayerfully, you'll make the (right) decision to be married.
I wish you well, and please let us know what happens. God bless you.

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S.M.

answers from Austin on

I am so sorry for you loss. I know how devastating it can be.

I had two children and then was on the pill for 16 years before trying for #3 at age 38. My doctor told me to wait 12 weeks after getting off the pill to let my system normalize. I did not, got pregnant the next month and miscarried as well. Then I waited 3 months, got pregnant again and had a healthy pregnancy and baby.

Give your body a break and see your doctor before trying to get pregnant. Good luck!

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K.G.

answers from Houston on

You need to give your body at least 3 months after getting off the pill. Your body still has some the hormones that your pills were putting into your body. If you were on Nuvaring or anything like that you sometimes have to wait longer, you may want to talk to your doctor to see what they recommend.

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S.M.

answers from San Antonio on

I have to agree that you should get married first. I know that wasn't your question, but if you are already engaged, what is keeping you from the wedding? The most common reason people say is the expense of the wedding, well how expensive do you think a baby is going g to be? I think it is best to marry, make sure he plans on sticking around, what if you have that baby, and he leaves, are you comfortable raising it by yourself? and worse, what if he files for custody and takes the baby from you? There are a million reasons why , if you are going to get married anyway, why not marry first?
Ok sorry, i had to say all that. I went off the pill I had been on steady for maybe 5-7 years, It took me 2 years to get pregnant, and when I did, I had a healthy pregnancy and birth. that was 23 yrs ago! The baby will come when and if it is the will of God, but why wouldn't you want to be married when it comes? That child will be better off knowing that his or her mommy and daddy were married and loved each other and the child, even before he/she was born. Blessings to you.

L.A.

answers from Austin on

I am so sorry for your loss.

More than anything. Your age may also be playing a factor this time. I am sure you are going to conceive and carry a child just fine.

If you were able to get pregnant the last time so easily, just be patient and TRY not to stress about it..
I am sending you good thoughts.

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S.A.

answers from Houston on

I miscarried soon after I stopped the Ortho Evra patch. I was really anxious about getting pregnant again, but I did become pregnant 3 months after the miscarriage. I actually think it would have happened sooner if I hadn't been so paranoid to miscarry again so I was not really trying to until that 3rd month. My doctor understood my anxiety and did weekly serum Hcg levels so that I would know my pregnancy was viable. That really helped me. I did deliver a healthy baby boy 9 months later. I never forget the pain associated with the miscarriage though, even though I know that it probably meant that something may have been seriously wrong with the baby. Good luck in your journeys.

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S.B.

answers from San Antonio on

Hi V.,
First let me say I'm so sorry for your loss, secondly please take the "get married first" attitude from other posters with a grain of salt. I have been with my significant other for 6 years, we are not legally married but are more married than most "married" couples!!
On to your concern. I was on the pill for 19 years and was worried about not being able to get pregnant and if I did get pregnant would it be a viable pregnancy. I stopped taking the pill in December of 2006 and did not go to any great lengths to try and get pregnant (ie - did not pay attention to my cycle dates or ovulation etc). I ended up getting pregnant about 6 months later and now have a healthy beautiful baby girl. To sum it all up ~ I was worried about being on the pill for so long and my age (36) at the time. Everything turned out just fine ~ I try to live a very healthy athletic lifestyle (and continued this thru'out the entire pregnancy). Hope this helps a little to alleviate some of your worries......keep trying and all the best to you and yours!
SB

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