Hello! Since my son was about 3 months old he has been waking up at 3 or 4 am and not wanting to go back to sleep. I used to put him in the swing, then when that stopped working, I brought him to bed with me, and now that's not working any more. I have used Ferber method for going to sleep at his bedtime, and it worked well, he sometimes still cries for a few minutes when going to sleep but goes to sleep nonetheless. He also wakes up around midnight, and will go back to sleep in my bed just fine. But later when he wakes up, nothing helps. I feed him, rock him, sleep next to him, give him Tylenol or Orajel for his teething...nothing. He just whines and wants to pull my hair and scratch at my face (I guess this is soothing for him? That's a question for another post!)
By the way, I know all about the Wonder weeks and I know when babies are learning things they want to stay up and stuff, or that they go through phases, but obviously, this is NOT a phase. I can't remember when he didn't wake up, and it's getting worse every few weeks. I'm usually awake for at least an hour with him trying to get him to go back to sleep.
The problem is also that I've tried Ferber twice at this hour, around 6 months and then again probably around 7 months, and my husband couldn't handle it so he went and got the baby and put him in bed with us, then promptly fell asleep, leaving me with the hairpulling and whining!
ANYWAY...My question is, do you think that 9 months-ish is too old for crying? Will it work? Thanks moms!
I've been going thru something similar. The sleep consultant I spoke to says that if thy wake up btwn 3-5am it's because the bedtime was too late, so maybe try going to bed earlier. Good luck.
I would ask his pedi just to make sure there isn't something else going on. I'm not a fan of CIO, so I can't speak to that, but I'd want to make sure there isn't an underlying cause (reflux, whatever) that might keep him up. Good luck!
9 months is the age when cio is recommended.. really they are too young before that.
9 months is when we did CIO with both our boys. Ferber was more excruciating, as they would get more upset each time we left... The nursery is right above our room, so I would turn on my Ipod and check every few songs. With both my boys, it only took 2 nights before they barely cried at all. My 13 month old will occasionally still wake in the night, but goes right back to sleep after a few seconds of whinning.
It is SO...worth it!
I think 9 months old is almost too late. Do it now, it was the best thing i ever did. I did it around 5-6 months and it took 3 days (did it over a long weekend). My now 15 month old, sleeps from 7:30- 7:00 ever night now (rarely he wakes and I now can go in and check on him etc.). The trick is to be strong. Dont go in. Once you go in the clock starts over. Put the baby down for the night at normal time/routine (maybe an extra bottle/food so his tummy is nice and full, but when he wakes up - DONT GO IN HIS ROOM. He will stop crying when he realizes you are not coming in (this is the toughest part of the system) but know that it is just habit for him to wake up - he is old enough and weighs enough (i assume) to not "need" food in the night - it is just habit. Once you break the habit he will sleep through the night.
This worked like a charm for both my boys (3 and 15 months) - my doctor recommended it and I am so glad I listened to her (and was strong enough to do it).
Good luck - it will be tough at first, but you can do it!
I think CIO will work with your child. If your husband doesn't agree with it, have him stay up with the baby. That will teach him real fast.
Just a warning - watch out for moms who disagree with CIO. They could write you how cruel and harsh you are for thinking about using CIO, and they have no shame in the accusory words they use. They'll call you the worst mom Report them if they go over the top.
Have you tried a sound machine or something like that to help? Maybe your son is waking up because he's hungry. Try adjusting the bed time a little and giving him a bigger bottle at bed time.
Do it soon...I hope it's not too late. But I do think it will work at this age, maybe it will take a little longer. I did CIO with my girls, one at five months, one at six months. Best thing I ever did! We didn't go in to reassure them though - we thought that might make them cry more and prolong it. It took both my girls only one night to get it, and they put themselves to sleep ever since! (They are now teens and not scarred for life from doing this when they were babies!)
We had to do Ferber with my daughter. It was a tough couple of days (maybe three days) but it made all the difference in the world. They need to learn to soothe themselves to sleep. It's very hard on the parents, but I think it's better for the child in the long run. We just went in and did the reassuring check after 5 minutes, then 10, then 15, etc. It never took very long for her to go to sleep, maybe about 15 or 20 minutes, but it was heartbreaking to listen to her cry. But I knew the difference between a pissed off cry and a hurt cry, and she was just mad. And after a few days she just started going to sleep. Good luck!
My little boy of five month is doing exactly what you're describing.
I'm not sure, but I believe that day time naps are just as important as the night sleep. If you can get him to regularly sleep two naps or one long at the same time every day, that might help with the night sleep as well. This worked with my two older kids, but since he is number three I always have to wake him up to pick up and drop off at schools or other activities. I believe in my case that his 3-4am fuzziness is because he doesn't know where and when to sleep, poor little guy. I'm not sure how to fix it in my case but maybe you can do it for your child!
Good Luck, and sooner or later they will all be sleeping all through the night... and ask for sleepovers and sleep-away camps... it all goes so fast.
