Advice on Sleep Training a Toddler

Well, the good news is that he's going to sleep through the night at some point.

I don't know that I would do anything different with him. What we do/did is put my son down, sneak out when he was asleep, and spend alone time together in the evening. No stress, no strain.

The crying, the discipline, that's going to be harder on you and you two. It will get better. Get hubby to help!

Which brings me to the only piece of advice I can really give you (aside from co-sleeping), when he wakes up have hubby go to him. He might not be too interested in dad and if he realizes boring dad is going to walk in and be boring he might not insist on someone coming to him when he wakes up.

You're going to get a lot of differing opinions, and what works for one person/family may not work for you.... Every child is different, and every child has different sleep patterns.

I did not want to do CIO. I did not. I read several books (Dr. Sears, the No Cry Sleep Solution, etc.) and some of the tips helped a little.... But I decided to read Dr. Ferber's book on kids & sleep (he's the "CIO" guy; a PhD and a physician and has worked with kids and adults with sleep disorders for many decades). Anyway, when I read it, I realized that this was what we had to do. I followed the recommendations in the book, and was finally able to sleep in my own bed and my son sleep in his crib. Yes, it was AWFUL for the first 2 days (the first day was worst), but the next week, when we'd finished and our son was sleeping in his crib, and I wasn't crabby, and I was able to snuggle with my DH...... our whole family was happier, and I was a better person, literally, because I was able to sleep and be rested, so I had more patience with myself, with my son and with DH and could deal better and be a better employee....

Since doing it, we've had to do it 1 once or twice more, to varying degrees. My son was a "head banger" (he'd bang his head in frustration--very scary), so we wrapped and sheets around the crib edge so if he did, he could bang his head and not get hurt. Also, if he's a climber, be aware that he may try to climb out of the crib (our son did once, around that age, and fell, but I had put pillows around the edge of the crib, out of paranoia, and he was scared and never did it again).

That being said, if I think my son is sick, and wakes at night, I always go and see him.

I had come to the conclusion that for the sake of my sanity and my marriage, I needed to do what I had to (within reason) to ensure I could sleep through the night. It was not pleasant, but it was worth it.... If you don't think you can do it, tell your DH you need his help breaking this habit, and have him do the hard part (sleep at the opposite end of the house, if you need to).

Also, if you go this route, think through, ahead of time, what you want his bedtime routine to be. Give some thought to it, and then implement it on the first night you're going to do CIO (the first night is the worst, and the subsequent nights get gradually better--it took 3 or 4 nights the first time for us). And I definitely recommend reading or at least skimming Ferber's book before you start, so you can get an understanding of how/why it works and what's actually going on.

At around 15 months, we converted our son's crib to a toddler bed. At 23 months, he stopped nursing and to celebrate his second birthday, we got him a "big boy bed"--a full size--and he was so excited. He became a different sleeper--no more middle-of-the-night wakeups, and fell asleep much more quickly to begin with. His dad and I tuck him in every night, then I read stories and just stay with him quietly while he falls asleep (currently working to cut this amount of time down, so that eventually he falls asleep quickly on his own...but this is trickier since it's been cold and flu season and he has been sick a lot). At any rate, as soon as he was in the bigger bed, he was happy to be a "big boy" and wasn't waking up anymore because he wasn't banging into the sides of the crib/toddler bed (his bed has a soft mesh rail on one side and the other side is the wall).

When he DOES occasionally wake up in the middle of the night now (he's now almost 3), my husband goes into his room to help him fall back asleep...tucks him back in, cuddles him, etc. Often my son cries "I want mommy" but my husband explains that mommy needs her sleep and that it's daddy's job to help in the middle of the night. He rarely wakes up in the middle of the night now, and the fact that he's not "rewarded" with mommy helps, too. My husband figures it's worth it to spend the occasional night with him to remind him that BOTH of his parents love him and that Daddy can be helpful, too. :-)

Also, we have trained our son that if he DOES wake up in the middle of the night, he is not to sit and cry in his room...step 1 is to walk to mommy & daddy's room and step 2 is to ask whatever question he needs. This has worked really well also. On the occasions when he IS crying and inconsolable in his room (this has happened only twice--once when he wet the bed and once when he was running a high fever), my husband went in and took care of it.

Good luck!

Check out this sleeping advice that may help you out..good luck!

http://www.theskinnyscoop.com/search/sleep?utm_campaign=t...

I wasn't a fan of CIO either but couldn't take it anymore and by 9 months i decided it was time..the first night we were giving my son 30 minutes..then just before we went in he konked out ..took 28 minutes..then the next night it was 5 minutes..then he started STTN..i waited on naps another month..The only problem is..you've waited a long time..might not work now for you..if you want to get sleep and want your little one to get some too..you should CIO..it was the best thing for everyone....Til..he turned 2.5..and started waking super early..like 4am..and wanted to be up for the day..so then i started co sleeping w/ him..and that taught him to sleep in later..
Now he's 5..and sleeps in a room that is attached to our room..he usually comes in anywhere from 4 to 6am and sleeps w/ us..sometimes its sucks b/c he kicks..but you really need to CIO ASAP...b/c the longer you wait the worse it is..
i know it seems mean..but you're not doing your son any favors by not doing it and having him wake 3 x's a night and then you have to sleep on the floor..either do that or bring him into your bed..maybe you and your husband can switch off..??
bigger bed??

good luck..gotta get sleep its the key to happiness

xo

DD

Well this is a hard one. I just put my son in bed with me and my husband when he woke up so I could get sleep. We were in a one bedroom apartment until my son was 2 1/2 so he was in our bedroom anyway. When we moved to a house he got his own room but still wanted to sleep with us. He's 8 years old now and he has just started going to sleep in his room but most nights he still climbs in bed with us sometime around 3 or 4 am. I also don't believe in cry it out and it's hard to explain to an 18 month old to stay in bed and sleep because mommy needs sleep. The problem with making the crib into a bed is that your son will be able to get out of bed anytime he wants. When they first go into a bed it's a novelty and they like to climb out.

I think you should put your son to bed and sleep in your room. If he wakes up, wait 5 minutes before going in there - he may calm himself down and go to sleep. If you have to go in there, have your husband go instead you. I liked the idea the other mother had about feeding more during the day so your son isn't waking up hungry. Don't worry your son will eventually sleep through the night and he'll be annoying you with something else!!

Hope his helps! Good luck.

Personally, I'd get the sleep training handled first and *then* convert the bed. Check into Dr. Sears' sleep training method. It's what we used for our girls. Some crying? Yes. Crying alone? No.

It's up to you how long you want it to take. As a toddler, you have to think of night wakings as "middle of the night temper tantrums". Since his waking is pretty consistent, it's just a habit that you have to break. Curb the behavior, if you will.

I've done CIO several times with our toddler/preschooler. It's always a habit that WE create and then have to break. The good news is that when they're older like this, they get the message QUICK.

We reached the point when DS was 17mos, that he was waking every 2 hrs (at various points he had slept through the night). I hit my limit. And it was HORRIBLE to listen to him cry, but my husband and I laid there and held fast! DS cried for 17 minutes, and that was the last of it.

We've had to do it over again - most of it revolved around moving him to a toddler bed. So I'll say, unless yours is crawing out of his crib, DON'T move him. It's a whole new ballgame when they can get up on their own.

I tried CIO several times with my first son, as early as six months of age, and it was awful. It actually made him throw up he would get so upset. I never wanted to do it again with any of my kids. I ended up doing my modified version of CIO when they were old enough to understand my explanation of what/why I was doing it (around 15 months), and when they weren't feeding at night anymore. I would explain that I was going to rub him for one minute then was going out. I would go out for one min of crying then back in to rub for another minute. Out for two, back in, up to five minutes. I've never had to go out for more than five. I feel this way they know I'm not abandoning them, and will always be back to check on them. As far as the crib/bed issue, moving to a big bed brings on all kinds of new challenges, if your little one is safe in the crib I would leave it the same. As someone else said, every baby is different, my third son, still an infant, is sleeping so good, and I have done nothing different, hope it lasts, and hope you start to get some good sleep!

Hi C., I'm one of the old school moms out here, been a mom for 27 years. Sleeping is something that comes natual, we all do it. CIO was never heard of in my day, sweetie if your 19 month old is crying when he is supposed to be sleeping, I would say it's a bahavior issue, sleeping with your son was a very bad habit to start, and I can see why it is affecting your relationship with your husband, he's the one you should be sleeping with. We always had a family bed time routine, and our children knew that bed time was bed time, they were out of their cribs at 18 months, slept on their crib mattress until they were two then went into a twin size bed. We also had fish aqriums with a blue light which served as a night light, the blue, and the movement of the fish and water was very calming. I can say in all honesty that with 3 children we never had sleep issues, we never formed bad eating or sleeping habits with our children. Hope this helps some. J.

Full belly full belly full belly. If your toddler is waking up that much at night, he can eat WAY more calories during the day. Feed him more snacks and meals for three days. It takes a few days for the body to register the satisfied feeling and sleep like a rock all night.
Once he has been well stuffed for 3 days (no sugary juice late in the day etc or fruit at night), then put him in his own CRIB (do NOT move him to an escapable bed until he likes being in bed and sleeping alone) in his own room (where he doesn't "sense" you) after a nice night time routine and walk away. Yes he will cry. He is used to needing someone with him, so this could last up to a week. But he is not a medical oddity and he will learn to sleep securely on his own. CIO is fastest. We did it with all of ours and they are secure happy sleepers. They never cried much because we didn't teach them any other way to sleep, but it can still be done at your son's age, it just takes a bit longer.
You can do other training methods, but it will make the process take longer.
Whatever you feel is best for your family. But remember, food, food, food!