I'm 99.9% sure my husband is having an affair. I have some pretty substantial proof thanks to the help of friends and family. I need a Private Investigator. I have some pretty odd circumstances that would prevent me from doing much about this for a few months. I have two children, and I have limited funds.
Any advice or suggestions are appreciated.
I've contacted an attorney, and I have some records for proof. Just that in the forefront...
I know this sounds wrong....my mom told me to do this when I first got married but I never could but maybe you can....start putting cash aside somewhere, just for you.
Wish you only the best!
they have a WEALTH of information in their various forums.
Just Found Out
General
Reconciliation
Wayward Side (a forum for those who cheated and are trying to make right)
Divorce
Investigation
I'm in California so I'm not exactly sure what the laws are in NC. If you have contacted an attorney, what you need to ask is whether or not proof of your husband cheating makes any difference.
California is a no-fault divorce state, which means you don't have to prove adultery or anything to get a divorce.
If you are trying to protect your interest in the marital assets or prove neglect or abandonment, emotional damages of some sort, a private investigator might be helpful, but that depends on the circumstances.
I very much wanted a private investigator and talked to several of them. They said that if I already basically knew my husband was cheating, the best I could do was just file for divorce because at least in California, I would be spending money really to prove nothing but to myself. We had x-amount of marital assets, proving he was a creep wasn't going to change that.
North Carolina may be different though.
Gather what "proof" you already have or can get your hands on.
I was very strategic in leaving my husband. We had all our papers out on the desk ready to file our taxes and when he went out of town on "business", I took them all to my attorney, had them photocopied and put back in place as if they'd never been touched. My husband was FURIOUS that I was smart enough to do that!
I know it's hard, I've been there, but just try to keep the status quo until you have a chance to gather as much as you can. If you can find someone he doesn't know to take a photo of him at a house or bar or restaurant, that's not that hard to do.
Private investigators charge a lot of money, and a lot of the time they charge for just sitting somewhere. If you already have friends and family helping you, you're on the right track.
Ask the attorney first what proof you actually need and what difference it will make.
Like I said, in my case, I could have spent tons of money to prove what I already knew and all I would have had was the satisfaction of the proof.
My husband was abusive and there was no saving our marriage whether I could prove he was cheating or not.
I hope you have a good attorney and I wish you the best.
There is so much you can do on your own. Get copies of the cell phone records, go over your bank records to look for odd spending, withdrawls that type of thing, look at the history on his computer, check his emails.
You also need to contact an attorney just to see what you need to do to protect yourself and your kids financially if you find out this is actually true.
Why spend money on a PI???? Just keep collecting EVIDENCE against him and seek FREE or low cost Divorce Attorney representation...If you think yor marriage is worth saving, by all means ask him to go to Therapy...PLEASE DO NOT EVER TELL HIM YOU HAVE EVIDENCE AGAINST HIM AND DO NOT STOP COLLECTING EVIDENCE AGAINST HIM...Don't let your guard down because you have NO GUARANTEES that he is NOT going to leave you for this other Woman. When and If he does, YOU'LL WANNA BE READY AND PREPARED TO FIGHT!!!! AGAIN, DON'T WASTE MONEY ON A PI, RESERVE & SAVE YOUR FUNDS, YOU WILL NEED THEM LATER...
i am not sure i am seeing the need for a PI. if you are truly 99.9% sure in your heart then why bother paying someone to confirm what you already know? what is the "proof" for? is this some kind of protection for you, do you think he will freak out and screw you over in the divorce? or are you still trying to convince yourself to leave him? if it's the first, i have zero experience in this as, if my husband and i were to split up there's not much to argue over (lol!), if it's the S., dang. just go. don't spend your heard earned money, cause yourself a bunch more stress, etc. just go. i guess i don't get the need to torture yourself further. it sounds like your friends and family are supportive, so it's not like you're alone in this. good luck and i hope you find what you're looking for.
How painful and scary. I'm sorry you are going through this. Before contacting an attorney why not ask your spouse to seek marital counseling? Even if he won't admit to the affair, if he wants to stay married to you there are obviously things that you two need to work on. In my personal experience, marital counseling is beneficial even if there is an eventual divorce.
Proceed in how u need to on catching him in the act but be prepared when u see it starring u in front of your face.It's seems easier to handle when it is hear say I have never been inthis situation but go with your instinct.Don"t let him in on any evidence u may have he will drop the affair,
