Hi,
He is supposed to sleep through the night by this time, but all kids are different. Do you put him in his crib or do you rock him?
If you put him down and someone is carrying him or rocking him constantly, there might be a problem.
There are a few things that I can think of. I run a daycare, and the only way that kids can tell time is by schedule. At home, try to keep the same schedule as the daycare. For example, in my day care the kids know that after reading time, it will be nap time. This never changes, and is automatic. They are mentally ready.
This is a funny story, and proof kids are signaled to sleep. When my older boys were little, they went to sleep when it was dark. In the summer they were up a little later, but in the winter, it was great. They were in bed by 5:30. They didn't have a clue until they could tell time. I altered their schedule accoring to the time of year.
"At daycare, he'll take 3-4 hour naps but when he's with me or my husband during the day we're lucky if he takes a 30 minute nap."
What time do the kids in daycare take a nap?
The 3 hour nap is probably OK but I think that 4 hours is pushing it. Find out what time the kids go down for nap. If they are waking past 3:00, it is too late. If he is in daycare for 9 hours a day, he is sleep almost half of the time. It is hard for me to try to figure out what is going on without knowing what hours he is in daycare, what time he gets up in the morning, and what time he goes to bed.
I run a child directed daycare. In other words, I set up a variety of activities every day, and they get to choose what to do as I support their play. They are active every minute doing something. There is no time for rest in-between. They are pooped out and ready for nap by the time it rolls around at about 12:30.
TV is not allowed in my daycare! They lay down at 12:30, they doze by 1:00 and they are up for another round of different activities by 3:00. Some would sleep longer if I let them. Since I don't believe in waking sleeping children, I start making some noise at about 2:45 so that they wake on their own, so to speak. I have no complaints from parents about their kids not being tired at night. Parents are paying me to care for their children, not to watch them sleep all day.
If you expect him to take a wonderful long nap for you, you are going to have to poop him out. He needs mental and physical activities.
Reccomendations!
1. Find out your daycare providers nap schedule. Pick the same time but make sure that he is up by 3:00. Four hours is too long! If he is going down for nap at 12:30 and sleeping until 4:30, he can't be expected to go to bed by 7:00 because he hasn't been awake long enough.
2. Find out what activity she does right before nap. Pick the same activity before naptime at home.
My gut tells me that someone is rocking him, and he is waking up for more.
Good Luck
D.