Bringing My Newborn Home to My 2 Year Old

Let her wear the pull-ups and she will let you know when she is ready. She just feels a little displaced and needs time to adjust.

The most important word in your post is the word "frustration". THERE is the crux of your problem.

Your daughter is young to have potty trained in the first place. You pat yourself on the back as if it is your doing that has made it so she is potty trained. However, she is the one who has worked on this, and with the coming of a baby sister, she is thrown into the emotional turmoil of having been replaced with a child that you are showering with love and attention. Therefore, the potty training goes out the window.

Instead of being frustrated, change your mindset. Yes, go back to diapers. Ignore that she used to be potty trained. Show her love. Include her in your dealings with the baby. Tell her "This is your baby too." Pull out her own baby pictures and show her when she used to be so little. Tell her that all little babies can do is eat and sleep. Tell her that her little sister will love her so much when she's big enough to play with her.

My mother employed all of these methods when she came back from the hospital with my little sister. I stood there in the kitchen and peed my pants in the kitchen floor watching her with that baby. All down into my shoes and socks. My mom put the baby in the bassinet and helped me, with calm and loving composure. She put a diaper on me (there were no pull ups them) and said nothing about having not gone to the toilet. She went on as usual, and when it was time to put the baby to bed, she sat me on the bed and put my sister in my arms and told me that she was my baby too. She did all the things that I detailed above.

In about a week, she saw me pulling on my diaper. She asked me if I wanted that old diaper off and did I want my pretty panties back? I nodded my head yes, and she got my favorite pair out and we went to the bathroom together. I didn't have anymore accidents after that. But my mother didn't act disappointed. She didn't act frustrated. She didn't fuss. She knew that to ME, I was feeling displaced. Like YOU might feel if your husband brought home another wife.

Change your attitude with her quick. If you don't, real jealousy will set up and she will not like her baby sister. Then toileting will not be your only problem.

L.,

Welcome to mamapedia!!

She's looking for attention. It happens. Her world has just changed in a BIG way. She's not getting the one-on-one she used to get.

Now with the diapers? She's getting the same treatment as her baby sister. So she's getting attention.

I'd put her back in underwear. I'd make sure that while little sister is sleeping, that we sit down and play or color together and she gets me to herself. I'd make sure that I got her involved in her baby sister's diaper changes and feeding. She needs to be included and helpful.

Get her back in underwear. Compliment her when she goes to the bathroom. NOTICE HER!!! For two years she's had you all to herself. Now she has to share.

Some regression is to be expected.
She's got an attention stealing little sister now and accidents are getting her some attention directed back in her direction.
It's hard but try to have Dad look after the baby sometimes so you and your 2 yr old can have some Mommy-Daughter time once a week.

Very normal. Let it go. Do t make a big deal out of it. If need be, put diapers back on for now.

Very typical, even in older kids when a new baby shows up.. It's not always conscious jealousy ("I show HER who the baby is!") but often it's just a distraction and the disruption of her routine.

Does it help to know that very few 2 year olds are potty trained? Sometimes parents get some early success at this age with kids who quickly lose interest/concentration, and very often those successes were really just flukes because the child was fascinated with the toilet and got "lucky". So it's just as possible that she's really not ready, and she's not developmentally ready to reliably train - and this could easily have happened without the new sibling.

Either way, what are you going to do about it? You have no control here, and you simply have to let it go. The more you make a big deal out of it, the more you turn it into a battle with a toddler. A battle you cannot win. Resign yourself to another 6 months or more of diapers, and to being like the vast majority of moms with average 3 year olds who start potty training well past the age of 2.

It's common for this to happen. Your 2 year old wants to be a baby, too. I suggest you leave her in diapers for a while. You have enough on your hands with a newborn, without fighting this fight. Your daughter will be out of diapers eventually.

This is normal. If it were me I'd have waited until little one came home before even starting potty training. But, since you did she is basically back to where she was. You have to almost start over. This is normal.

Diapers or pullups. A child isn't FULLY potty trained until they can pull their own pants up and down without help. Let it go. Let everyone get used to the new situation. Try again when closer to 3. It's all too much for her and getting upset or mad about it will sabotage everything. It's normal. Relax, stick with the diapers, pullups and it'll be fine.

Your daughter is reacting to her world changing. It's entirely possible she wasn't ready to be potty trained.

She needs your attention. She needs to know she still has a place in your life. A new baby takes up so much time and can be so draining.

Have your husband take the new baby today and do something special with your daughter. She just had her world changed. I'm sure she was excited, but didn't understand at the young age of 2 what was going to change.

It's really common, don't stress out about it! The last thing that anyone needs right now is extra stress. Put her back in diapers, try again on the potty training when things settle down a bit. Unless you have a deadline, as in she must be potty trained in a month in order to go to daycare? If not, just make life easier on everyone and let it go for now.

I would just consider this a set back. Our doctor called it regression. It happens sometimes with changes - a new sibling, illness, even travel.

I'd stick to the pull ups if you can over diapers - where they are more underwear like (unless it's proving too messy).

If you can google ways to help with toddlers regressing from new baby sibling, that might help you.

I know the more one-on-one time I spent with my older children, and the more I handed baby off to my hubby, the better it was. I also kept the older one's routine as similar as possible.

I would downplay it, and don't let the frustration get to you (if you can). In a bit when things have settled down, start over with whatever system worked for you before, and just offer lots of positive reinforcement.

Good luck :)

ETA: I love Doris' answer. Super good advice. Sounds like her mom handled things beautifully. Peeing on the floor down her legs .. oh I had a chuckle. But it's so true!

And Diane is right - mine were 3 when they were trained, so at 2, this is pretty typical.

I have heard that it isn't unusual. It didn't happen with my 3 year old son when we brought our daughter home (he was 2 weeks shy of his 3rd birthday), so I don't have personal first hand tips to un-do it. But re-read Doris Day's post. That is very much how we approached it with our son.
"I know you want to play xyz, and baby sister needs to eat. Hear her fussing? She's hungry! When you were little you ate ALL. THE. TIME. She can't feed herself yet. You couldn't either when you were first born. Can you bring the (whatever toy) and put it down here on the floor and I can watch you play while she eats?"

"I know you want to play with her, but she can't do much yet. She can't feed herself, or talk, or even hold any toys yet. But it won't be long. If you show her, she can look at your toy. In a few months, she'll be able to do more and then you can show her how to play with it!"

"Would you like me to read you a story? Go pick two, and then come sit next to me here on the sofa. Baby sister is eating, but I can read to you while she does. What story do you want first?"
"ooohewwww.. sister has a yucky diaper. She pooped in it! Can you bring me the wipes so I can get her cleaned up? You used to do this, too, when you were a baby. Yucky, huh? laugh laugh One day she'll learn how to use the potty, too."

He never regressed, and was very helpful with his little sister. She was such an easy baby, because he was always so ready to entertain her and show her all his toys, and make her laugh.

That's totally normal. Having a new baby sibling is a HUGE deal, even for older children. I was potty trained when I was about 3. My sister was born when I was 4.5, about a year and a half after I was totally potty trained. Yet, my mom told me that the stress of having a new sibling caused me to regress at night (although because I was older, it only took a couple of days to not wet the bed). Since your daughter is only 2, I would wait until things settle down/she's older/she acts ready again before going back to potty training.