We'll be going to the wedding and will obviously buy a gift for the wedding if that makes any difference but I can't make it to the bridal shower. Do I still need to get her a gift for the shower? Thanks!
depends on how well you know the bride to be. If you are close friend, maybe it would be a nice thing to do. If you don't know her that well, then I don't think you are obligated.
If you're close to the bride, yes. Otherwise you are not obligated.
I would only give a gift if the bride was someone very special to me . . . a best friend or close relative, something along those lines. If the bride was a lady I had met only a couple of times who is marrying a coworker of mine, probably not. Just make sure you RSVP in a timely manner!
You do not need to send a gift or a card. If this is a close friend or a relative I would send a card with a gift card for one of the stores on her registry. Even a $10-$20 gift card or whatever you can afford is a nice gesture that lets her know you are with her in spirit.
I agree with the other responses, you are not obligated to give a gift if you are not going. However if it is a close friend or relative you may want to send them something anyway, but it's totally optional!
PS I have many years of wedding planning experience! :)
If I am invited to a shower I cannot attend, I either send a gift with someone who is going, or I send a gift card to the bride's home.
Amanda is correct in that your only obligated to 1 gift for a wedding. However a shower is a totally separate event. If your invited to a shower for someone you don't know then no no gift required however if it is a friend or family then not only would it be good taste it would be I would think something you would want to do. I have never heard the line about the shower just being for a way to give a gift early. That is just weird and sorry Amanda but in my opinion cheap. Just my opinion not reflecting on your families traditions.
Normally I would just to show that you care and that she is important to you.
Can I tag onto this question?
I was invited to a bridal shower for my step-brother's wife-to-be. I don't know her all that well, but I know the groom (obviously). I can't go to the shower, but should I send a gift?
I agree with base it on the relationship, but then I probably would not attend a bridal shower of someone I just kinda know.
I would lean towards yes...
If it's a friend, definitely.. If it's an acquaintance, then I could go either way with my answer..
Depending of who's bridal shower is and my economic situacion.
If I was having a bridal shower I wouldn't expect presents for people that didn't come.
Etiquette says you are only obligated to ONE gift for a wedding. That means ONE. Not one for the shower, one for that shower, and one for the wedding.
Basically, what you're doing at a shower is giving the wedding gift early. If you can't make it, then you give the wedding gift whenever you would have normally.
Okay, after a bit of research, I'm seeing nearly as many different answers as I see answers to this question here. Past custom dictated a shower gift that is trivial and inexpensive - a monogrammed hankerchief - something specifically for the bride, and then a larger wedding gift. However, as gifts now-a-days at showers are typically from the registry and much larger, one does not need to gift at both occassions. However, obviously, one can choose to. IF one chooses to, it is suggested to go much smaller for the shower gift and give the substantial gift as the wedding gift.
And as far as being cheap, that's not the case. What is the case is brides who believe that if someone is invited to 12 showers plus the bachelorette, plus the engagement party, plus the wedding, they are entitled to gifts at each occassion and, in fact, invite the same people for that very reason.
You don't-but a little something would be nice!
This brings back a memory of my wedding shower about 39 years ago. I remember writing the little thing that went in the newspaper.(remember when we used to put the shower announcement in the local paper?lol) I wrote the names of the host, my parents, the grooms parents, those guests attending, and those guests unable to attend but sending gifts. So some who couldnt make it, did send gifts. I also remember that my future mother in law didnt show up and sent no gift..haha.
