Boundaries with Neighbor Kids

I suggest that it will just take time for both of you to get used to this new situation. You set limits so I don't understand why you'd need to set more. Or did you let him play with the neighbors?

His total meltdown is understandable. He's in a new house, in a new neighborhood, in a new school. He was tired out at the end of the day. So reasonable that you don't let him play with the neighbors. He may very well have had the meltdown even if there were no kids to want to play with.

I suggest you're being too hard on yourself. Give both of you time to find the right balance for you.

Set time frame of daily or every other day playtime with the neighbors. Like 4-5 in the afternoon and then need to go have dinner, bath, bedtime after that. Make it work for you and don't be afraid to say NO. You have to advocate for your son's best interest. Even though he thinks it is good for him, YOU know best. :)

M

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He is 4 1/2 so I would say that he can play with friends until dinner time. After that its time to have family time and nobody goes anywhere or comes over. Be firm and he will get use to it. It will be hard for a while but once you get a set routine in the evenings it will get better.

Since my kids were little that was our time limit. When the older ones hit 7-8 then it was until 7pm. They could go outside and play in our yard only, couldn't go anywhere. If someone came over to play outside that was fine, but they left at the time set. Nobody was allowed in the house after dinner. Now being 10&11 they have until 8pm in the yard. My 15 yr old now has until 9 outside, he is allowed to walk around with friends but can't bring anyone over to "hang out" after dinner. The 3 and 4 yr old need to start doing more queit activites to wind down and get ready for bed before the older ones need to and it doesn't happen with kids over.

I tell them they can either behave and play (I give them a few game/distraction options), or they can go and lay on their bed until they can calm down. I would also talk to him about these other kids and their families have schedules too and may not want to be bothered every day.

You need to have a set time where kids can come to your house or vice versa. Say, from 2-4, or whatever time works with your schedule. Sounds like he's got too much going on, and he needs downtime just like everyone else.

Life changed, you need to change too. Your living circumstances are totally different. You'll need to be more flexible and let him have more playtime now that he has a social group. He can still have boundaries but also need to have much more playtime out of the house.