Born Pretty Essay

ADD: Supposedly it was a sarcastic post, but honestly, usually it's easier to tell when a post is deliberately ironic - this one just seemed mean spirited. And her comments at the end were pretty much rude to people who didn't share the same viewpoint and kissing up to those who did. Doesn't leave the greatest impression. Left me with absolutely no desire to find out if she could be funny by reading her blog. Oh well.

Original: I really hope it was sarcastic, because otherwise, it was just pathetic.

That woman needs a huge dose of perspective. There are people everywhere who will die before they get a CHANCE to get a wrinkle.

EVERYTHING AGES and DIES.

People that are that hung up on aging need to Get Over It. Be glad you're alive TO get old.

Other than her repeated use of "loose" instead of "lose," I simply felt sorry for her. I don't think we can definitely say she was a mean girl, though she does express a spirit of entitlement that those of us with less can easily recognize.

Spending so much of her precious life, not to mention money, worrying about whether she looks good to other people, is sad. At 66, I can honestly say I LOVE looking at beautiful people, but what I find beautiful is often more a matter of spirit, personality, and confidence than exterior details. That inner beauty is able to keep growing even as looks fade.

I actually found it kind of sad. I mean here is this nearly 60 year old woman who apparently has valued nothing but her looks and now, despite all of her efforts, those are fading (because older women can't be beautiful?). If she placed value and beauty in other characteristics then perhaps she wouldn't seem so desperate. And sad. And pathetic.

I've never bought into the conventional beauty idea so I guess I'm not the best person to try to relate to this 'I'm no longer beautiful because I'm old thing.'

Any "writer" who misspells "losing" - twice! - should neither call herself a writer nor be a featured blogger.

I fully realize it's supposed to be tongue in cheek - but I just found it obnoxioius. I'm only 2 years behind this writer and aging isn't all it's cracked up to be.

On the other hand I love my life. I'm the same weight I was when I was 9 months pregnant with my almost 15 year old son. I'm beginning to lose the weight. But that weight also tells the story of a mom working full time, married to a NYPD sergeant who works many evening, weekends and holidays, it tells of the sacrifce of taking care of aging parents in their final illnesses, caring for kids who turned into teenagers, one of which got fatally ill & recoverd, being the wife of the guy who was in the horrible auto accident resulting in temporary paralysis, disability, surgery & return to work, and all the other stuff of life.

I don't have a cleaning lady, landscapers, dieticians, or a plastic surgeon. But I love, I laugh, I volunteer ALOT, I run a women's group, I feed the poor, give to mom's with unplanned pregnancies, and try to instill my values into my kids with love, patience & understanding. As one of my kids heads off to college soon I am feeling a sense of sadness & excitement.

I enjoy life without an expensive convertible sports car. And when my current friends are shocked at how pretty I once was (you know those TBT FB & Twitter photos) I just smile and shrug my shoulders. Aging ain't for cowards but for now it beats the alternative.

I also found the essay obnoxious. It reminded me of a great quote from Paulina Porizkova- she was the supermodel who married Rick Ocasek of The Cars. She said, "Nothing ages worse than a pretty woman's vanity".

I see so many women out there trying to compete with the 20-somethings. News flash! You aren't fooling anyone, they're always going to win.

Instead, try being the best person you can be in all areas of your life, not just looks. Most people eventually figure out that looks fade and what's inside is more important.

It made me think of a bluegrass song I heard a long time ago:

"You can't live on looks for too long
You might think life's easy but you're wrong
Later on in life you won't be looking so fine
The things you count on now will seem to tarnish with the time."

I mean sure - be clean and presentable but take some time away from the make up counter and plastic surgeons office to develop an actual personality.
In the end, the old folks with lots of funny stories to tell are way more popular than some faded beauty queen.

Yeah they could pretty much do away with those articles and I'd never miss them.

It bugged me too. If she had just mentioned once, not implied 20 times, how natually pretty she was, it would have been more palatable. And I'm not naturally ugly. But reading someone who keeps mentioning how pretty she was seems ridiculous. It got obnoxious. No modesty AT ALL. Oh - her family is beautiful too!! That's relevant? And then how much she must CARE to actually be doing all those anti aging things. Wow. Talk about vain. I think that's part of the annoyance. She kind of pretends she was never vain bc her prettiness was "So effortless!!!" But she's beyond vain. My mom is a classic beauty and just let herself age gracefully and only now in her 80's is she really showing her age. If this author really was so pretty, I don't think she'd be needing to do all these things to maintain some of her attractiveness. Real beauty has good bones and just doesn't need to. So yes, an essay on aging would be fine. Hers was too much.

She also seemed to be implying if you're not born so pretty aging probably isn't such a big deal. Like "well, you never were pretty to begin with so no big loss... You probably just look even worse now..."

The sad thing is, I was reading it and assuming it was supposed to be just funny... and I was relating to a lot of it in my head, like little wrinkles appearing, body parts sagging, the sad realization it's all downhill from here... and then she says she is 57. 57! I am 36. Lady if you haven't come to terms with these things by the time you are 57... yikes. That's when it just started to seem sad and pathetic and not so funny.

I did have a realization in my early 30's, with my BFF. We realized we had "peaked" and we were never going to look better than we already did. Like, we will still look good, but now that will always be qualified with "for her age"... like "Wow she looks great FOR HER AGE" :(

But back to the essay, one thing that stuck out, reading between the lines, was that the bloggers self-perception was continually defined by her male role-models... She knew she was pretty growing up, because her grandfather always told her so. She knew she was no longer pretty because her dad rudely commented she was now old, ha ha, so funny. I think whatever issues she has with her aging and loss of beauty obviously came from the family culture she grew up in. Which hints at slightly misogynistic.

I didn't read this particular essay, but I have yet to read anything of value on the front page. They are horribly written, usually embarrassingly trashy, usually very snarky and judgmental, and I have trouble believing Mamapedia finds them worth keeping on the page. The women who write those blogs are so condescending and self-righteous. Sad, really.

Why is everyone so offended? She is just writing her perspective. I read it after reading these comments and I think she's just basically admitting to all her many flaws and what she's doing to maintain herself.

A body is just a body. People should not be offended by what anyone else chooses to do to their body -- from dying to straightening to bleaching to tattooing to piercing or to Botoxing and surgically enhancing or having a sex change. Why is tattooing any less vain than Botox? Why is it okay and not vain to dye your hair and wear makeup, do nails, wear jewelry and dress nicely (i.e. enhance), which most women do, but "vain" to surgically enhance?

I think assuming she was a "mean girl" just because she is/was pretty is judgmental and indicates envy. It's nobody's business what anyone else chooses to do to their body, and no one should be upset by someone being honest. Would you prefer it if she went around pretending it was all natural?

"Loosing" however, does drive me crazy.

Yes! I read her blog on the home page and thought....you poor thing! (sarcasm!)
She says that she is accepting that she is getting older...but she is whitening her teeth, dying her hair, getting her boobs done, getting botox, getting lipo...um, that doesn't sound very accepting!
I just thought she sounded like a stuck up snob.
And yes, her COMMENTS were even rude!
L.

i can see how one MIGHT make the leap to 'privileged meangirl' but i really didn't read that in her essay. nor did i see vanity. i didn't see her trying to say that her struggle with aging is any more than that of someone less lucky, and she does credit her looks and affluence to luck, not virtue.
i've been a little shocked at how much the last year aged me. we all cope with it differently, but i don't think this particular pretty gal is whining, just sharing what her own journey is like for her. it's kind of reverse-meangirl to insist that women who win the genetic lottery don't get to mourn their own loss of youth.
khairete
S.

I read it. I'm 42 and I thought I was "high-maintenance" (I style my hair, I tweeze those pesky hairs from my chin, I have had laser hair removal on my legs, I apply under-eye cream and serums to my skin, I exercise regularly, I wear make-up fairly regularly)...obviously, I was wrong. If that's her definition of "accepting" aging, then good for her, but it's a bit different from mine. Nothing wrong with fighting it if you have the time and means to do so. I don't think I'd ever go to her extremes, but, at some point, I suppose I'll start coloring my hair.

And, like JB said, her use of "loosing" rather than "losing" bothered me way more than anything else she wrote.

My response to covering up aging is similar to baldness in men. Just go with it and embrace it. I have laugh lines because I laugh a lot. I have extra weight and stretch marks now because I have two amazing children. I have frown lines because I choose to show my emotions- even the bad ones. And on and on. Like my very youthful 80 year mom says- aging is a state of mind. She's right!

For some reason I took her piece as more tongue-in-cheek. Was she serious? :/

Loosing vs. losing always bugs me too.

I read it. I really did try to find the sense of humor that she was trying to convey, however, I agree with so many people on this board:

1.) No excuse for the misspellings- how do you call yourself a writer?
2.) The trashy language- was it really necessary?
3.) Loved the Paulina Porizkova quote- so true!
4.) Many awesome ladies here with great comments and attitudes about aging!

Now, to address the 'mean girl' thoughts... her comments WERE quite snarky and rude if you dared to challenge her.

Like so many of you, I believe in aging with dignity and grace. I'm sorry that she thinks that this means taking a full-on, in-your-face, look-at-me approach. I'd like to think that I have more class than that. I have no problem with wanting to look your best and if you have the means to do so, then do as you wish with yourself, but don't give me this "you wouldn't understand" sob story.

Bahawahaha! I didn't read it, but I love your post!

Thanks for the giggle.

:)

No I didn't read it. I never read that garbage they consider "writing". Just a bunch of bored housewives seeking attention.

I kind of liked it! I often wonder how those privileged natural bombshell types cope with aging. And I'm not at all offended by the ones who do all the expensive anti-aging stuff. Some of my friends "of means" do those pricey anti-aging things now. I don't. I'm an ex-tomboy who tries to do things the natural way as much as possible and I'm not rich, but everyone is different. I thought it was honest. I was interested in her perspective.

My take?
She's accepting her aging, but putting up a fight.
Is there anything wrong with that, really?
Whether you're a pretty girl or not, I think it's probably the right attitude.

so with ya on this one friend!

I like it when older ladies go the extra mile to remain good looking. Actually, the opposite annoys me more: aging people who give up. I see my former classmates with bad teeth, messy hair or wigs, overweight, etc. They look like they've given up.

Birds freak me out, maybe she should stop baths, too. Would you consider that also vanity?

Well, I rarely read those essays on that MP page. I DID read the funny one about why little boys hold onto their penises so tight. It went on a little too long, but it was funny.

From your description, I don't care to read this one...

I read it and didn't necessarily think of her as a mean girl in high school, just very vain and desperate to maintain "her look." At some point, she may realize that it is inevitable.

I think she makes a great case of trying to preserve what you have, albeit at all costs. Good luck to her.

Lets face it...we all age...
The pretty ones, the not-so-pretty ones..and on and on

In some ways I like getting older (in 50's now) there is much less pressure to look good and you can really just be yourself. I take care of myself more for my health than my looks...when I was younger, it was the other way around.

Oh boo-hoo. At least she had a chance to be pretty.

The title alone sounded too vain for me, so I didn't read it and am happy I didn't after reading your post.