So hubby has been working in town for the 4th week straight. Love him... but we are not used to everyday life together. (He works out of town 5 days a week and him working in town this long is very rare). He works a very demanding job, both mentally and physically. He has already put in 40 plus hrs this week so I know he is tired. Yesterday I took the kids to the zoo and then came home and cleaned house top to bottom - as in the super scrub of everything from top to bottom. Then the kids had gymnastics last night and didn't get home till 8:30. At that point he had already been home for about 2 hours and had ate dinner, showered, and had some alone time to relax. When we got home I still had to feed the baby, shower the kids (they had their faces painted at the zoo so much more scrubbing then usual) and was about 9:30 when I got all kids in bed. Just as I sat down the baby starts fussing. I looked at him and asked if he would run upstairs and give her binkie to her. He said NO in a tone of voice that meant "are you seriously asking me to do something!". So I got up and went and did it. Now I had attitude and pissiness when I came back down b/c I was irritated. He picked up on it and starting picking at me to start a fight (not a usual thing for us - but as I said he has been home 4 weeks straight, lol). After a few words exchanged between eachother he says "you can't be that tired. All you did was push a stroller around for 4 hours". GRRRRRRR.. They just do not get it.. do they? We went to bed fine, but just little comments like that irk me more then getting into an argument over who is more tired. We are both tired, so lets help eachother out instead going against eachother, right?
So, what bonehead things/comments have your hubby said to you that just makes you want to scream?
Thanks!
PS... I was just tired and crabby last night and so was he. Me being irritated was just being tired.
3 nites ago...Hubby: "So how much weight have you lost?"
Me: "5 pounds since I started."
Hubby: "Oh, I can't tell."
Me: WHACK!
Last nite: Hubby: "Are you still losing?"
Me: "Yep, lost another pound."
Hubby: "Good job."
Me: SMILE
My husband will walk in the door and say "mmmm, dinner smells delicious"' when there is nothing cooking.LOL! We're very sarcastic together, so it makes me laugh. And he laughs all the way to the fridge to make a sandwich :)
Being tired is the single worse thing for me... I have no tolerance for anything!
Updated
My husband will walk in the door and say "mmmm, dinner smells delicious"' when there is nothing cooking.LOL! We're very sarcastic together, so it makes me laugh. And he laughs all the way to the fridge to make a sandwich :)
Being tired is the single worse thing for me... I have no tolerance for anything!
Husband: "It is the woman's job to cook and clean and do the child rearing".
Me: "What if both people in the house work outside the home?"
Husband: "Yes, she still should do those things."
Me: "Oh really, and what is your job exactly?"
Him: *with a quirky smile* "To be the man."
I almost vomited.
*And no, he wasn't kidding. Someone help.
LOL! You poor thing, I feel you ;)
Last night, my husband was bitching and moaning that all I ever pack in his lunches were sandwiches and that's boring (not true, but whatever, he's more than welcome to make his own lunch).
So to switch it up, I made him cold pasta salad and a bunch of other NOT sandwich stuff, and used this cute little camo lunch cooler to keep it from spoiling... this morning, he was like 'You expect me to walk into work with THIS?!'... WELL, first of all, YOU'RE FREAKIN WELCOME, and second, how else do you expect something other than sandwiches if you only want to brown bag it?! BITE ME!! Make your own lunch ;)
My hubby said something stupid once...about what SAHMs do all day...
he lost his job and saw everything I did during the day and now bows to me. he now knows that 'just pushing a stroller around for 4 hours' is a lot more than JUST PUSHING THE STROLLER....
It sounds like you two need alone time to decompress and talk....he needs to be a tad bit more respectful of what you do as a SAHM!!!
GOOD LUCK!!
You don't need to make excuses for yourself being tired and crabby to avoid us "attacking" hubby, lol, but face it, you didn't ask him for much did you. That was rude of him to say. My husband has said so many insensitive things that I have become immune somewhat! I now know HE is the one that needs fixing, lol!
I wanted to sign up for and be a vendor at a craft fair in a small town about an hour away. Thats what I do. I asked my husband if he would be willing to drive me and tow the trailer to Hat Creek that day. Id need to know a few weeks in advance to be able to sign up and he was dragging his feet getting an answer to me. I even suggested he invite a couple guys from his office to meet him 40 miles from Hat Creek to play golf that day so he would be inticed to go with me. I asked him several times. I hinted, I asked out right, I reminded him of the cut off date to sign up. He stalled so many times I was gettiing pretty ticked. Getting near the last days to sign up I told him one morning as he left for work that if he didnt decide that day, I would just have to cancel the whole thing. Ive been sewing and making things for months just to do this craft fair and needed an answer! He grumbled and said FINE,,, hed talk to the guys and see if anyone wanted to go golf that day. Well.. later that morning he called and with a big huff he asked,, "what time does this FIASCO in Hat Creek start?" long pause...I said, "You think the one thing I do to help earn money, my craft, my talent, the only other thing I do besides cook clean, raise your kids, and keep you happy, is a FIASCO?" He stutterd and stammered a bit and tried to back peddle, "I mean the craft fair", and then I said, "It starts at 9. I need to be there at 7 so I need to leave home by 5:30am" and hung up. You have to know this was the first and only time weve come this close to a fight in 36 years. Later that day he called saying he had 5 other guys who would love to go golf that day,, its a course theyve been wanting to try lately and would love the chance to get together for the day, so everything was fine. He can drive me and tow the trailer,no problem.
Well, it was a chilly atmosphere at our house for the few days and I had to bite my tongue to not snicker everytime he refered to the "Hat Creek Fair and Craft Show", using the whole name sounding so official and excited, trying so hard to make up to me, and I just kept calling it the fiasco, real sarcasstic and snotty, and reminding him of how rude and belittling it had been.. So, the weeks went by, and the day of the fair came. We had the trailer loaded, and off we went. We arrived and unloaded everything. Just as he was ready to drive off to meet the guys for golf, I handed him a bag and told him to wait till he was at the golf coruse to open it and then share with the guys. He promised,,and he left. In the bag was 6 golf towels I had made. One for each guy. With a nice golf design, and the words, " I survived the Hat Creek Fiasco and Golf Excursion".. The guys loved them. He had to explain to them why they said what they said, and they all let him know what a stupid thing that had been to say. My husband hasnt stopped asking for forgiveness yet! And, as it turned out, at the Hat Creek craft fair I sold $22 worth of stuff.. So it WAS a FIASCO after all!
I just had a baby 7 weeks ago. When someone asked how labor was about 30 minutes after having the baby, he responds, "It wasn't too bad". I almost threw a table at him.
No it wasn't too bad, FOR YOU!
He says that I should change the diaper or bathe our son or cook dinner or wash dishes or whatever "because you're so good at it!" So I guess that's his way of complimenting me AND getting out of doing something.
Luckily, as we continue to potty train my son, the standing up and peeing thing I can tell my husband that "He's so good at it." so HE can take that part of the potty training job.
We both work full time outside of the house and while I love to cook AND cook a real "from scratch" dinner at least 4 nights out of the week... there are those occassional weeks when life is insane b/w activities, late meetings, parties- whatever when I will buy several "premade" things (quiches, pasta dishes).
My husband will say to our son (usually on Day 3 of our micro-dinners) "JD look! This is what mommy calls cooking!" Grrr...
Most recent bonehead thing.... "I am the major breadwinner so I should not have to do any housework anyway" He is NOT kidding when he says this sh*t either!
Equal housework has been a major problem the majority of our marriage. He always finds things he needs to do outside or elsewhere and then wants me to help him do it! However he still wont help in the house without screaming and yelling at everyone the entire time.
Ok.... read these earlier and have something to add that seriously just came out of his mouth.....
All day long he has been home (day off) and he has been not so subtly hinting at the fact that he would like some "time" tonight......So, I figure alright, I'll play along....
Well, we had some family time and then bath time and bed time for our daughter. While I was putting her to bed, he went and got on his XBOX...fine, no biggie.....
Anyway, after I put her down I said to him about watching a movie he had rented a few nights ago that we have yet to find time to watch....Perfect night to do so since I am actually awake and not half asleep like I have been lately. Mind you I am almost 32 weeks pregnant and sleep deprived as it is......SO he says, in all his infinite wisdom," Well, not right now because I'm in the middle of something and everyone is on playing right now. Maybe we can do it another night." REALLY?!
I went ALL DAY hearing about how you wanted "time".....I pretty much make it clear to you that I am awake and ready to spend that "time" with you. Watch the movie, go to bed, have some "time"! NOW, he just came in and tried to apologize, only digging himself in deeper, by telling me that as soon as the other guys get offline, he'll watch the movie with me.....and he adds...drum roll....IF you are still awake.......REALLY?! How long do you want me to wait! So, I'm staying up for a little while longer and then going to bed and if he doesn't get his "time" it's on him......I made the attempt......
GRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!
He so doesn't get that I am completely exhausted by the day's end...must be nice not to be........
When hubby gets home he gets THIRTY MINS of down time to reboot (play video game, watch tv, internet, whatever) then he HAS to be a parent and step in to help. Half the time I usually say something, give daughter bath please, can you play with daughter while I make dinner, I need your help with such and such. The other times he does step in to help but that has been after 3 years of me always asking and breaknig down once a week because he was not helping.
Comments I hate: well you get to stay home all day and do nothing, why are your cranky or tired... ummmmm HELLO our daughter is having a push mommy's buttons day, I have been cleaning the house, went food/supplies shopping, and made dinner!
Now as soon as he makes a comment like the above all I have to do is glare at him and he says he is sorry and that he knows staying at home is as much as a job as his job. I let him run the house for 2 days while I went on a two day canoe trip, that pretty much shut him up and made him understand that it is no easy job being a stay at home mom (a blessing and a joy but not easy).
A while back, I joined Weight Watchers for the millionth time. The first week I lost maybe 6 lbs or so - yea me! When excitedly told my husband how much I lost he said - well, that's probably all water weight anyway. What? I don't care what kind of weight it was - the scale said it was 6 lbs of something. He has never had a weight problem and I think I got teary eyed and explained that since he has never needed to lose any weight, I'd thank him to keep his comments about water weight to himself because it really hurt my feelings - even though he was probably right. He felt so bad that whenever I lose even 1 lb now - he always says - and you KNOW that's NOT water weight. I can laugh about it now but at the time, it wasn't very funny.
I am currently 7 months pregnant with our second. I am harving a hard time sleeping these days cause I just can't get confortable and I have heartburn so bad I wake up for Tums and to pee. So I am sleep deprived. My mom and I took my 3 yr old to the beach on Wednesday. My husband calls me from work and tells me to make sure that I lather her up really good so that she won't burn. What? Really? Gee ya think!!!! No I am going to leave her to burn like a lobster! I may be tired but not that tired to not put lotion on her. I know that he was trying to help and was concerned cause it is her first time at the beach, but he really made me feel stupid. Like I wasn't capable of making sure she wouldn't burn.
Maybe its the hormones and being tired on top of it but sometimes he says things that really urk me and makes me feel like a bad mom. I know that he is tired too. He has worked 63 hrs this week and he still has today to go. But keep your comments to yourself. Don't mess with the pregnant lady! LOL!!!
My husband works 2 hours away right now and I'm used to him being around more. So now I am basically a single mom during the week. When I ask him to help do something sometimes he asks why I can't do it because I work from home, but I WORK! We also have 3 kids, 2 new puppies, I got to school for my MBA right now, and the kids are all in activities. Yea, he doesn't like when I give him a breakdown of my days!!
I like to make variations on meals we like. So, I will make ribs or roasts or chicken in various different ways so we don't eat the same meals all the time and try new things. Mostly they turn out well and everyone likes them. I asked my hubby about how these particular ribs turned out, and he said "they're good - you didn't outdo yourself - but they're good." I said thanks a lot, sarcastically, and he realized how his comment sounded. He really liked them, but he was really wowed by the last recipe I tried, so that was what he was thinking. He never means it, but somehow his comments come out this way anyway and we laugh about it.
Early in our marriage my husband said, as part of his claim to do as much around the house as I did, "doing laundry is easy" Years later, after asking him to help carry the laundry up the stairs when we had a baby in the house and I worked full time, I finally had enough with the laundry not counting as a chore, and he now does all his own laundry. (I do the towels, sheets, and child's laundry). I laugh at him all the time, he starts laundry and forgets about it until it smells and needs to be redone. He leaves it on the dining room table for days waiting till it folds itself. I only help him with it when he is sick or away, or is home and we fold together. and I frequently remind him that if he hadnt said over and over how easy laundry was, if he had carried laundry upstairs for me, then he would still have his laundry washed, dryed, folded and put away for him! I love reminding him of this!
Please dont feel you need to excuse your being tired and cranky. What your husband said was really disrespectful and tells you he knows NOTHING about being a full time dad. I'm so sad for him. Many husbands dont and say things like that but when things change and they have to really experience being the full time parent they change their attitude quickly! My husband spent years as the stay at home Dad working part time while I worked full time and he learned a lot about what it means, If you can leave them home alone for a week so he can experience it it would be wonderful for him! then it becomes two people raising children, not one! what a great thing for the kids!
