Bevhavior Issues with a Five Yr. Old.....HELP!!

Since he is doing such serious damage, the first thing I would do is take everything that can be dangerous or seriously destructive (markers, scissors, knives, crazy glue, etc.) and get it out of his reach.

The second thing I would do is choose a system and stick with it! If you've tried all of the things that you listed all since his behavior changed in late April, that's not being consistent. It sounds like in a 6 week period you've tried 3 or 4 different techniques. Nothing is going to work the first time. Or something might work the first time but then he'll test you the second time. A system is only going to work for the long term if the child realizes that it's not going to change and he is stuck with the consequences. You've shown him that if he doesn't do what you want him to do you'll change the "game" and not stick with it.

Good luck,
K.

For things such as phone time, giving him a task to do, or right before you make the call can help. I have a very destructive 4 year old, and this book has helped us deal with it and make some resolutions as well. I strongly recommend it.

The Discipline Book: How to Have a Better-Behaved Child From Birth to Age Ten by Dr. Sears

http://www.amazon.com/Discipline-Book-Better-Behaved-Chil...

It sounds to me that your child is purposly acting out with negative behavior. Knowing why he's acting this way will allow you to approach the issue the best way possible. First, I'd reccomend you put anything and everything sharp and dangerous in secure places that he has NO access to. It's safe to bet that if he's getting scissors and cutting electrical wires, that he'll be trying more sever things, so don't take anything for granite. From what you've typed it seems as though your child went from well behaved to monster over night. In my experience my children have acted out when they are dealing with something that they don't know how to process. What has happened in your life recently that may be effecting your child? Have you moved, started a new relationship, put him in daycare, dyed your hair!?! It may be something that you least expect, or something that you may be too busy or caught up to notice that he's not processing it well. Outside of that idea, it also may be all to get more attention from you. Children at the age of 5 are DEMANDING all around and they crave attention. I hope these thoughts can help you head in the right direction in helping your child. May God bless you~ Chell

Dear K.:

Wow. One suggestion is when everybody is calm and nothing is going on, sit down with your son and ask him if he knows why he is doing this stuff. I'm not sure if that will get you anywhere, but it's a start.

The next suggestion would be to sit him down and suggest some activity he enjoys with you for some one-on-one time. It doesn't have to be long, maybe 30 minutes at most, with no distractions, don't answer the phone, et cetera. Tell your son to earn that time he has to behave himself the rest of the day when you have to take a break from him, like the restroom, answering the phone.

If you have already tried the above suggestions I'd suggest talking to the pedi and getting a recommendation of perhaps a psychologist for children. Something is really bothering your son. You're right -- this is serious and scary stuff he's doing!! It needs to stop!

L. F., mom of a 14-year-old daughter