Belief in Imaginative Myths

Terry Prachett's "Hogfather" - great book!

In essence it says:
Belief in something unreal - such as truth and justice - is the only way to make them real.
People need to practice believing the small unreal things - the tooth fairy, Santa, the Easter bunny, etc - so they can eventually believe the big unreal things.

My son is too young to really "get" these things, but whenever I am asked my other young children - By anyone actually - My response is always, "Well, I believe in _____."

You cannot apply your beliefs to everyone. It's that simple.

There are some families who are religious and from the time kids are babies, teach that they are celebrating the birth of Christ on Christmas and that Santa is a made up man. That's fine. That's what works for their family and their beliefs.

We can make up stories left and right. We can use our imaginations. Some people choose to raise their children with the reality that there are "characters" so that they don't get mad, upset or feel betrayed when they find out that their parents are Santa Claus....and that's fine...it works for them.

Don't push your beliefs on them. Let them question you and you can answer to your beliefs, but do not tell them that they need to believe what you believe..

good luck!

Added: in response to your SWH comment: "but I don't want their lack of belief to destroy the magic in our house"-- here's the thing-- when it comes right down to it, every family has their own culture and must choose what to perpetuate/enjoy/allow. Honestly, I was on to Santa by the time I was 10 or so, but we still enjoyed the spirit of Santa even beyond that. At that age, it was fun to 'be' Santa for someone else. Perhaps passing on traditions (like, our family does May Day deliveries to our neighbors because it's sweet and makes my son happy to do it) is a way to keep the magic alive even if kids don't still 'believe'. You don't have to truly believe fairies exist to have the FUN of playing such,right?

I think every family does what they want to.

I will quibble with one thing, which is that Santa and the Easter Bunny are extensions of our children's imaginations. They are not, in my opinion. Instead, we adults --and our culture--introduce those characters to our kids. We even have rather strict guidelines about when those characters appear, what they wear... some parents even have rules (the ones who use Santa as a disciplinary tool--better behave or else). We read our kids stories which introduce 'rules' of how the fairies can only communicate or interact with humans in certain ways. These are fun, but from my perspective, very adult-directed.

I think that when a child is 5 or 6, they do hit an age of sorting out reality and fantasy. It's developmental; trying to thwart it, I think, is worse than saying "well, maybe it's not real, but we can still make believe and have fun". We teach our children to respect the beliefs of others,anyway, right? [Our family is secular, however, I've taught my son that when people talk about God, that we are quiet and don't say "There's no such thing" because it's disrespectful.] Their belief makes *them* happy and it's not hurting anyone. So, for mythical beings, it's okay for kids not to believe, in my opinion, if they don't want to. I mean, I didn't play fairies as a kid because that sort of play hadn't been introduced. I was very happy playing dolls and horses and imagining those sorts of things. I wasn't missing out.

My son plays fairies and I have no problem with this. He builds fairy houses in the backyard, in the woods, at the park. We enjoy Santa and the Easter Bunny and the Halloween Fairy (trades candy for a present) and the Tooth Fairy. Where his imagination really lets loose, though, is when he's drawing or making up stories with his Legos or building something.

In my opinion, the best things we can do to ensure rich imaginations is to keep the tv off. Keep the computer games to an absolute minimum. Keep offering very rich literature which features non-merchandised characters. Make up stories with them. Listen to their long, made-up stories. Provide a variety of construction/art supplies. (We have a found-objects drawer of odds and ends in the kitchen-- this is Kiddo's favorite place to go look for something fun to do.) Give them down time. Take them out for the day, hiking... let them explore what's around them in the natural world. Let them lead the play, on their terms.

I'm a Christian, and I'm getting into heaven just fine. I believe in imagination, and God divinely created us to have healthy imaginations. Do I believe faeries are REAL? No, of course not. I believe in pretending they are real, is experiencing the imagination that came straight from God. I think it's interesting that so many people believe if you pretend something, or believe in the magic of something...that is replacing God.

Don't be stunned children don't believe in things. Look at the worlds we live in. Parents don't allow children to believe in anything anymore. (Any belief but God, apparently means you're running to the side of the devil!!!) Screens have replaced their minds. Loud toys that play for you, have replaced toys where you had to create. Outside is "boring," instead of the best day ever. We wonder why none of our young adults and younger generations can't be resourceful and innovative. We wonder why a huge percentage of them have to live back at home, and will never get ahead in life. It's not all because of the economy. Why they can't solve simple problems, or parent, or last in marriages. They have no creative problem solving. They haven't been allowed to use their brains. They haven't been allowed to imagine the possibilities and impossibilities.

Just pretend what you pretend, and quietly feel very sorry for them. They don't have to pretend with you. They probably never will know how.

I would just say, "Well, I believe in _______" and leave it at that. Allow your children to believe. Their family has made a different choice. This might be a good time to teach that not everyone believes in what you will. That doesn't mean they can't, but they have to respect that their family doesn't.

Ever seen Secondhand Lions? There's a great quote (which I am greatly abbreviating):

"Sometimes the things that may or may not be true are the things that a man needs to believe in the most .... No matter if they're true or not, a man should believe in those things because those are the things worth believing in."

How about Miracle on 42nd Street? "Faith is believing in things when common sense tells you not to."

Magic, myth, fairies... You are right. They exist because they are believed in. Something you can hold in your hand and scientifically analyze doesn't need your faith, does it?

This is a weird one for me.
How can you tell your child monsters are not real but fairies are? I mean, based on your reasoning, if they believe in monsters then they are real, right?
On the one hand, I love fairy tales and nursery rhymes, and stories about fantasy and magic (Harry Potter, Narnia, etc.) and I have always shared these loves with my kids.
On the other hand, when it came to Santa and the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy, I was never really comfortable with the ruse. YES, I shared these traditions with my kids and was enthusiastic about it on the outside, but on the inside it always felt wrong for some reason. I was really surprised by these feelings.
I think it can be traced back to my childhood. I remember feeling a very profound sense of disappointment when I realized these things weren't real. I felt let down by the adults, and I also felt like a fool.
But that was just me.
I don't think my kids are as sensitive as I was, I think they handled it (the truth) better, as far as I can tell anyway.

I appreciate that you are asking a serious question. But my first response is, if it is true that anything I believe is real, then honestly, I am now 5 foot 7 and blonde! (I won't even wish for a different age!)

As for imagination, we never pushed our children to believe myths. We played along, introducing Santa and the Easter Bunny, and as the children became less convinced, we let them develop their own acceptance of the gifts without expecting them to embrace the myths. We kept is light and fun, not so much right or wrong. Perhaps instead of saying something is "real" (which is obviously arguable), you might wish to say it's a wonderful tradition in your family.

This is something you have to enforce in your home. We believe in so many myths in my home. Every night a monster shows up in my DD room and DH goes in to shoo away the monster. listening to his assurance and even looking out of her window to see the onster running away is precious to me. I believe that Santa, Easter Bunny, etc are all alive in our hearts if we want them to be. The fact that my Dh and I are honored with the ability to act as some figure so great on behalf of our children is completely awesome to me.

I would just tell your children that maybe they believe in something else in their house, "but we know the real truth about Santa, Easter Bunny,etc." It can be like your own little secret. I think in these situations it is not negative to believe in some fantasy. I think as your children get older, they will see how great it was to believe in something. So many people don't allow their kids to be kids anymore. They are grooming little adults and where is the fun in that? Let them be kids and believe in the magic that is the imagination!

I agree, the Easter bunny just has to be pink!

Nothing wrong about being playful with your kids. Nothing wrong about telling kids the truth either, just different styles.

I've never believed in fairies and had little belief in Santa but a big belief in my parents love for me and their appreciation for kids imagination. I grew up in a very superstitious region of America. Adults told stories and some believed enough to incorporate things into their everyday lives. That didn't make it real. If I got a wart, I wasn't going to go in the middle of the road and turn round and round! There are good things and bad things about myths. They are just myths.

And yes, religion is a big part of rejecting myths. You may see that as a bad thing but to us who are religious in our devotion to God, it makes a dividing line between Truth, that will set you free and myths that will enslave you. At some point, you make a choice.

If you encourage your kids to play and to read and to write creatively, you will "extend" this part of their lives and it will help in making their right brain creativity a big part of their lives. That's a good thing.

I think it's sweet when kids believe these things are real...and it's magical for them. But keep in mind some kid's personalities are different than your daughter. Some kids are just naturally pragmatic and realistic. One of my nephews is like this. I swear he came out of the womb not believing in Santa Claus! My son is like this also. He was questioning things starting at age 4. I tried to keep it magical for him though and keep him believing. But he naturally does not have the inclination to believe...he says, that's not possible. That can't happen in real life. His sister is not like this...she believes in fairies and unicorns. She loves the idea of magical things. Her brother has almost always thought that the idea of magical things is "dumb". I think it's just a personality thing bc it's not anything I did!

My kids were creeped out by just the thought that there could be little people living out in our back yard. (my friend gave us these beautiful fairy finger puppets when my oldest was about 2 and my kids were almost scared of the idea that there could be these gorgeous little people living in the walls, under the plants, in the trees or shed, etc.) Plus I wanted to differentiate the existence of God and the make-believe nature of fairies, Santa, Easter Bunny and the tooth fairy. I am a strong believer in good and evil and spritiual forces that are good or evil but I was not going to spook my kids about it when they were young. (now that they're teens they understand spiritual battles since they live them daily!) I am certain that God exists since we see the effects of His existence in the beauty and order of nature and the world around us. (I will never believe that something as complex as our DNA was a cosmic coincidence.) So when my kids began asking and questioning the existence of these fanciful beings such as fairies, leprechauns, Santa Claus I would simply ask them back "Well what do *you* think?". My kids definitely believed in these things when they were toddlers and preschoolers but as they became critical thinkers, using logic & reason (as we encourage) they began to doubt the reality of the make-believe stuff. I always taught them the history of the real ones - like Santa beling an amalgamation of a few different real Godly people over the centuries who bestowed gifts to poor families during Christmas season, etc.

Either way I don't think there's a right or wrong approach - jsut what seems to work best for you and your family. My sister loved the idea of fairy people living inthe forest underneath the hostas and ferns of the forest, etc. I think she still half-believes it. (But I wonder where they go when Winter dumps 2 feet of snow in her yard...?) Her kids ahve grown up to be great adults - both married, one with her own little boy. So what the heck!

As for how to preserve that child-like aura in a different culture - your kids will want to play along and believe I think. My nephew "believed" in Santa Claus all through High School to play along with his dad who was so sad that his kids were growing up. My nephew at that point was 6'1" and grinning and winking at us asking dad when Santa was coming. I'm sure he'll be doing the same with his kids. And my kids, although they were coming to their own conclusions around age 5-7 still "believed" in the tooth fairy through grade school since they like getting a dollar under their pillow and they are big promotors of the make-belive world to their little cousins. Make-believe still continues after they don't really believe. That's why it's called "make believe" and not reality.

Enjoy your kiddos now before you know it they'll be teens and that childlike approach to the world will be gone. I like who they are now - but I miss that innocence...

To ME, it is absolutely lying to your children. The Bible clearly states the danger in myths and "fables". While I think it's okay to enjoy these things, touting them as "reality" is very, very dangerous...spiritually. For my family. As Christians.

To each his own. If you want to believe in non-existent figments of your imagination, that's entirely up to you, and I won't give you a hard time for it, just like you shouldn't be "stunned" some five year old girl doesn't believe in fairies. To me, that's a five year old that knows the truth.

And really, I don't feel it has everything to do with heritage. Two VERY large parts of my heritage are Irish and Cherokee (great mix, huh?) and both are full of these myths...and to me, that's what they are. Myths.

Also...just because you believe in something, doesn't make it real. I'll go with Rose on that one...guess what? I am now 5'10", 130 lbs, blonde, I have a PhD, I work from home, my children always behave, my husband rubs my feet every night, and tomorrow a fairy will drop a million bucks at my door. (Just having some fun...but you see where people can argue with your statement that believing something makes it real.)

**You happily play along with that "myth." I caution you against using the word "myth" in relation to someone's honest, religious belief. Believing in faeries and Santa and the Easter bunny is imaginative nonsense...maybe not harmful, per se, but it does NOT EQUATE to people's religious beliefs. If it does, then show me millions...billions...of people who worship the Easter bunny. Um...no. And I find it extremely odd that you believe in all sorts of fairy tales.

***There is a huge difference between imagining and believing. I agree with Bug that there is absolutely no harm in imagination and that God created it, etc...I draw the line when it comes to taking a figure and creating a myth around it, or a traditional/ritual, because to ME, that's sacreligious. Again, don't care if YOU do it, it's just not for me.

I see nothing wrong with sharing these imaginative with our children. One side benefit, to me, is that it reinforces for children that giving to others is a model we should follow, whether it's presents at Christmas or candy at Easter or giving dandelions picked out of the yard; behavior that models being thoughtful of and generous toward others is always good. I'm not a fan of the "gimmee" part of those traditions but choose to focus on the giving rather than the getting in my family.

I, too, believe in the power of and importance of imagination. Without it, we could not move forward.

A child doesn't have to believe in fairies, the Easter Bunny, or Santa in order to partake in the cultural traditions that go along with them. I was in Kindergarten when I learned from my classmate that our parents were Santa. I still delighted in Santa, and do with my kids. I don't go all out and craft stories about it, but we visit Santa, read Santa stories, and the kids' Christmas toys come from "Santa."

Once we found out that my mom was the Easter Bunny it didn't make it less fun--I just thought of my serious mom as being a little bit more fun than she was--and gave her props for her creative hiding places for our Easter Baskets.

It seems like you're approaching belief like a true-false question or an on-off switch, and it doesn't really work that way.

There are lots of shades of agnosticism, and they run the gamut from "I know it's not true but I love pretending it is" to "I know it's just a silly superstition, but some small part of me believes" to "might be true, might not, but I'll try to be both devout and scientific, to cover all bases" to "I'm 99% sure I believe, but there's a lingering uncertainty in my mind."

My own son figured out for himself, before his two front teeth had even grown in, that the tooth fairy was a figment. He still -- strangely enough -- seems to believe in leprechauns, even though we're Jewish and the leprechauns in our house distribute leftover Hanukkah gelt. He is fascinated by Greek mythology, and has actually learned a lot of the hard-justice truths that the Greek myths teach. He doesn't literally believe in the Greek gods, but that doesn't stop his imagination from working overtime.

In general, I think it's actually good for parents to be a little hands-off about their kids' beliefs (which all the reasonable exceptions, of course). Sooner or later, your kids will have to make hard choices on their own, and figure out their own guiding principles. Sorting out Santa Claus, etc., on one's own is sort of a nice, safe, gentle trial run for that.

I think it's lovely that you have kids that are imaginitive and it's a part of YOUR culture.
But it's not a part of mine, or really anyone else's that I know.
I think i would say something along the lines of "you're so clever!" and left it at that.
I don't want to burst another child's bubble, and have taught my kids not to either...
L.

Einstein said, that imagination is more important than knowledge, as knowledge has an end and imagination doesn't. -Something to this affect.

I think its wonderful that you want to keep your children's imagination alive. Children live in the world of pictures more than not until about the age of 7 or 8 and so it's very important to keep this alive. The more they are allowed and fostered with this the more intelligent they become.

Ya know, one can easily look at everything as myth, even the things we see and feel and hear as the Indian religion sees it.

There are a lot of things you can do to keep it going. We have a nature table set up which is changed out for each season. On our walks we find things from nature to put on it, or sometimes when the kids are playing they find something they want to put there. I also put little magical things on it too, like little fairies and elves and gnomes that appear over night. Things I make or sometimes buy. When the children see them in the morning they are just taken with delight. And we say, "looks like the house fairies have gifted us again with another little surprise, they must be very busy." I keep it on the simple side and as natural as I can. For the spring nature table I laid out silky light green and pink cloth and put down moss and made a cave from clay and put blue cloth to look like a river running out of the cave and then put a clear glass shallow bowl and laid light blue stones on the bottom of it and put water in it and then put little flower buds made of felt and the little fairies and gnomes some bought, some made. I also put a small vase with twigs from the flowering tree. I left the sleeping seed children from the winter scene bc some seeds are still sleeping in the earth. The seed children are little brown felt dolls about 4".

There are all kinds of lovely books to read, the Tiptoes Lightly Series are very nice. Puck the Gnome is a good one. Although these might be a bit old for a 5 year old. Pico the gnome is a nice one for 5.

Keeping the environment magical means a lot, simple, but soft and magical. Colored silks are a great way to decorate or to give the children to play with. They're expensive even when dying yourself, but you can get cotton. I have a perfect branch from a Dogwood tree I hung from the ceiling and then we can hang different things from it for the seasons or any way you want. We have a string of bees wax stars on ours and little white birds right now. Sometimes the children make things to hang on it.

Make fairy houses and make a fairy garden to put them in. Ask the fairies to visit with you and come close. Fairies like people that are respectful to mother earth. If the children ask why they can't see them as my 7 year old does then tell them it's because they live in a different world but also share our world. If they push for more info. tell them humans long ago use to be able to see them, but some humans didn't believe anymore for so long that their eyes became dim. Something along these lines. Some kids get afraid they will see them. I made a lovely little house for my granddaughter to put on her nature table for the house fairies, from the Tiptoes Lightly book they would talk about all the time. But when she received the fairy house she became afraid she'd actually see one. But after a while she was okay with it.

Celebrating the cyclic festivals of the year really make it enriching and fun for children. On summer solstice we make a fairy ring and I tell them a story about the fairy queen and how she will come close and we put honey in a sea shell which we leave over night for the fairy folk to celebrate. Of course the children can hardly sleep and as soon as they get up they go to see if the fairies ate up the honey. Which of course I cleaned out and put back where they put it in the fairy ring.

Like I say, there are so many things to keep this alive as it should be for any child. Unfortunately most children don't get this and instead are fed on awful characters from computer games and the like. Your children are at a perfect age for this magic. The book A Donsy of Gnomes is a delightful one. Drawing pictures for them is great too and having them draw as well. Writing and drawing a book about such is a nice thing to do and they'll love it. Any of Bestkow's books are lovely, which you can probably get at the library.

You may be interested in checking out Waldorf education sites and blogs, as you'll get all kinds of good ideas. Schooling from the heart, Today in Fairie School, Celebrating the Rythum of Life are just a few (hope I have the names right). Singing is so much a part of it too and verses and just having fun throughout the day. This will keep their livliness vibrant.

Have fun
I'm sure the Easter bunny is pink too.

One of my sons closest friends is a "non-believer", and has been since kindergarden. He and my son argue about it. My son hasn't stopped believing because of his friend. I think my son knows they aren't real now (he's 10), but he is not ready to end the fun or ruin it for his brother. We are church goers, so my kids believe, even though there are many who don't belive in God.

See my post on this very subject ! Children grow up way too fast and we ought to let them enjoy what their imaginations and creativity bring ! You can be respectful of others without putting your beliefs aside ! C. S.