Behavior Problems

I know that it is an additional cost, but medication isn't really effective when it is not used in conjunction with counseling. I may be of benefit for you both to find techniques to help her express herself and find appropriate actions as well as for to so that you can help her in the process of living with these disorders.

Hey C.,

#1 thing I can tell you is... Hang in there!!!
I have a son who was diagnosed with AD/HD when he was probably 5. He was put on all kinds of different medications because they could never really get the dose right. He is now 17 and no longer taking medication. When he was 15 we moved here and found a Dr. in Brandon that started him on Straterra. I really liked this med. On the other medications he was like a zombie during the day and then couldn't sleep at night. With Straterra it is a non stimulating medication that really worked for my son. He was able to get the needed sleep he was being deprived of. I hope this helps!!
Good Luck!!
J. Shoemaker

I have a 21 yr. old son who is ADHD and also has a compulsive disorder. What I have learned about behavior out bursts and problems is the main thing you cannot do is argue with them and/or be in their face. This is a game that they like. With my son I would send him to his room and make him go. At school instead of sending him out of the room (which they like as they can do whatever they please) I would make the teacher put him in the corner on a towel where he had to watch but could not participate with whatever they were doing. This he did not like. I learned this method when we lived in Florida. The teachers here in Iowa did not like it but after they realize that it worked they were ok with it. At first the teachers were very uncooperative but I just stuck to my guns and prevailed in the end. The next thing is what kind of meds is he/she on? Some meds give them an up and down periods. What I ended up using was a blood pressure med that worked fantastic without the roller coaster effect. He stayed on an even keel and that helped alot. Is something going on at school that is bothering him/her? Alot of times emotional out bursts have an underlying effect. ADHA kids have a very hard time and are not always treated fairly by their peers and/or teachers. Raising an ADHD child is very challenging and hard but it's not hopeless. Just remember when things go wrong at school investigate the whole situation and listen to your child. An ADHD child is alot of the time a scape goat and is always to blame even when it is not there fault. Also I had it where when my son was in a confrontational situation regardless if it was with a teacher or a peer he could remove himself from it by going to the guidance office, principle office or his special teacher's room that helped him one on one with things. This eliminated alot of the problems. Hope this advice helps you.

Wow, I thought I was alone in this world with a child with behavior problems. I have a three almost four year old. He is bipolar and ADHD. He was put in Behaven Center for three months and evenually put on medication and counseling. He still has outburst and is very aggressive to other children and his little brother. The only advice I can give is to be persistent on correcting the behavior, positive and negative enforcement and being supportive to her needs as in emotionally. Children with these disorder are in need for extreme attention and are frustrated with their own behavior as much as we are with it. But just be patient and keep your support groups open..believe me I know how hard it can be. Sometimes I feel so alone in this world of frustration. I feel like I cant do enough for him. But if you ever need to talk..feel free to contact me.

Have you ever tried the feingold diet, even the fit for life diet- you eat more natural things, less sugar, more complex carbs and veggie/fruit. I've heard of that helping. Also, behavior contract. Be sure to reward the good behavior.

hello,my 15 year old is past the worst of that now, we had her on meds for 3 years and did behavior counciling,, the school thought i was nut when i took her in at 8 and said she was add/hd /odd, it took 3 years of behavior counciling and allot of patient time for me...she still has her day, but i hold my ground with her. she still dont sleep much, and she dont eat much,, she has mood swings, i try to spend at least 1 evening a week with just her. it helps, my oldes son is add/hd and never was on meds, he is now 22 in airforce and the dicipline helped allot....

Hi C.. My son also has ADHD at 7, and last year was borderline ODD. My cousin's child has had many similar behavior problems, and she got him into a program (he's 10 now) something like the "boot camps" you see on TV. It really worked for him. For a girl, though, that might be really harsh, and she is only seven. Another option is definitely some counseling to help her cope with her anger. Many schools also offer anger management through their school counselors. If you have not had her tested through the school system, it might be a good idea~ they have to do something if you ask for testing, usually within 60 school days. They might find that even if she doesn't have a qualifying learning disability, she would do better with one-on-one classroom time than in a larger classroom all day. Usually, they are in a smaller class for part of the day, and with their larger class the rest of the day.

You might also keep a journal of her outbursts and see if there's a typical pattern, and her teacher could do that as well. Sometimes ODD is worse because of triggers--cold weather=less daylight, certain times of the day, or even watching a particular TV show. My kids watch almost any TV show that is on PBS, Nickelodeon or the Disney channel, and sometimes Cartoon Network, but I find that my son's behavior is noticeably different after he's watched some shows.

Since you do have so little free time, I can understand how you would want to spend every spare minute with your daughter. Unfortunately, when we are stressed out because of the demands in our lives, our kids get stressed too. (I'm going through that a lot with my 9-year-old, she has a LOT of anxiety.) Maybe you could try a girls' day out. My daughter and I went out one day and got haircuts and our nails done. Then we went to lunch and to a movie. It can be more cost-efficient to do it at home, though, rent a DVD, buy a new nail polish and spend the day in. During our day, my daughter confided in me a lot and told me what she was so worried about. I was able to make suggestions that helped her a lot.

I hope this helps. ODD is a hard disorder to overcome. Psychology websites might help. (I learned most of what I know from my psychology classes, and research when my son was close to being diagnosed.) It can be scary, though, and some psychologists say that ODD is a precursor to antisocial personality disorder, but I believe that it can be overcome and never get to that point. You have a LONG time to turn this around. Good luck!

Hello C.,
I can understand your concern. This may sound really simple but have you changed the family eating habits. I am a parent of 2 girls. My youngst just turned 7 this month. We have made it a family challenge to eat more whole foods, likes fruits and vegetables. I have found for my youngst that any processed sugar can really get her wired. We have taken all chips and unhealthy snacks out of our house. My daughter's teacher has notice a great difference in attention. I hope this helps.
L.

Have you considered karate? My nephew had ADHD really bad, and medicine didn't help alot, so she put him in karate on the recommendation of his pediatrician. It made a world of difference. That was 13 years ago, he is now a blackbelt, and an intelligent, well-mannered, loving 19 year old (my favorite nephew!) Try contacting the Terry Middleton School of Karate in New Albany, he is excellent, and he will tell you point-blank if your child will benefit from karate or not. He has a great reputation, and he'd never try to talk you into doing karate just to get your money like some places will (I've heard TERRIBLE things about the Karate studio in Clarksville! Plus, they told my my 3 1/2 year old was a good candidate for it, and Terry told me before age 6 its not a good idea, and anyone who said different was trying to rip me off!) Good luck!

Hi C. my name is C. and i also have a 9 year old boy He is adhd and odd and they just diagnosed him with asphergers disease its a form of autism ...his started as soon as he was able to walk and didnt start talking till he was over 4 years old so i know exactly what you are going through.....My son has been hospitalized stleast 5 times over the last couple of years for major aggression and the outburst and he is in intensive counciling for it now but my situations might be a slight difference but i think you are going through some similsr things as me but have you tried what they call holds but what ever you do make sure your tone of voice is calm like a soft loving tone or they react in a bad way but my son now has to leave my home because of the aggression because if he doesnt go with a family member then i will lose both my children because of the harm he puts in the house but anyways you might want to look into rileys hospital they have some really good doctors there.......i'm just trying to help you in any way i can because i know what you are going through cuz the schools have involved the police with my son and all that and he is not a criminal he just has behavior issues and none of it is his fault he was born like this and i just wish they could one day find a cure .....my son is on that new medication abilify and i have noticed alot of change in him its like he is a new child more loving and lless tantrums and its so wonderful to see i hope some of this helps you.....C.

Dear C.,
Hi, has your little girl had any type of counseling ? I don't know if it would help, but it might be worth a try? What about a possible medication dose change or medicine change ?What about her father ? Could that have anything to do with the problem ? Some things to think about ? If I can find any other info I will let you know. Have a good day! D.

C.,

ODD can be turned around, it takes alot of patience and yes it causes alot of stress. My suggestion is a strict schedule, with written rules, and exact consequences. I taught Emotionally Handicapped for 13 years and I can tell you that with all my ODD kids a exact schedule, consequence and reward system worked the best.
Keep a daily behavior chart, have the teacher do the same, it can be written into or IEP if needed. It can be as simple as a smiley face for good days, a face with a straight line for the mouth for okay days and a frown for bad days. Then make sure the consequences are clear for all three occasions. Try to keep away from foods that can make her hyper, and too much tv is over stimulating.
Maybe get her into an activity, use this as a reward, such as dance, or gymnastics, I think karate is great for kids that ar ADD and ODD it teaches them disciplline and respect.

Goodluck, keep your head up!!

my 8 year old has odd. she also has adhd and bi polar disorder. I know that it can be very trying and difficult. the descision to medicate your child is not an easy one but only you know what is best for your little girl, and kudos to you for it. My little girl goes to therapy once a week and it really does help. Have you tried any behavior modification plans? We did the poker chip system here and it worked wonders. A great place to get ideas are these books: The Explosive Child, Your Defiant Child, and The Defiant Child. All three of these books helped with ideas on behavior modification. Also i know that at my daughters school they had flyers offering free Common Sense Parenting Classes through Boys Town. I recently took the one on adhd and it gave me a very clear insight into things. Good luck and rememeber that even though she doesn't act it at times you are the light of her life as well!

C. B,
There is a grat book that is a great read for parents like you. It is called The Bipolar Child the Definative and Reasring Guide to Childhood's Most Misunderstood Disorder. By: Demitri Papolos,MD and Janice Papolos I know you said that your daughter has AD/HD & ODD, but there are quite a few links with Bipolar Disorder. I know that is scary to hear, but if you are strong, and have a healthy support system, you will learn to get throught the rough patches. Hope this helps

I don't have any experience with ODD, but my husband is ADD, and I know diet can go a long way in helping control it. Basically what Linda said about whole grains, fruits, and veggies is right on. If you eat fish in your house (my husband won't eat it), try to make sure your daughter gets some kind of fish at least once a week. Fish has Omega-3s that help with ADD/ADHD. Also, if she doesn't take a multivitamin, you should probably start her on one.

Hi C.,
Though I don't have the same problems with my children as they are still small, I do have a good idea of what you are going through. My brother is bi-polar and growing up in that household was terrible. My mother finally found a support group for parents of troubled kids, and I know the kids range from young to adults in their 40's. They talk and get ideas from each other as well as give a support for putting your foot down. They meet in South Bend and I could get the info if you are near by and interested. Just know that you are not the only one going through this. Take care and let me know if you would like the information. Sincerely, K.