Should you still buy a gift for a birthday child even if you can't attend the party? This child attended my son's birthday party this past year. However, we'll be on vacation during his birthday party. If we bought a gift for every party we were invited to I feel like I'd go broke. But...it bothers me that these parents bought gifts for my child (even though they did come to his party).
I don't think you have to buy a gift if you're not attending the party. My son has never received presents from anyone not coming to the celebration. However, he has wanted to buy a friend a gift even if he couldn't go to the party. We have done it a few times when we couldn't attend. He's such a little giver, I can't say no.
He buys it, wraps it, with a note, and brings it to school for the other kid.
Do what feels right for you.
How about having your son send a picture postcard from wherever you'll be on vacation? Most kids I know *love* getting mail that's addressed to them!
But I agree with the others who said it depends on how well you know the family/child etc., and that it tends to even out over time so no worries over it.
I understand how you feel. We haven't had many parties, nor have we been invited to many parties (daughter is 4), so we haven't had this problem yet.
I think some things that would play a part in my decision would be...
How close is your son to this child? If he's good friends with the child, I'd be more likely to get a gift.
Do you know how big this party will be? If you know it's a small party & they've only invited a few select friends, I'd be more likely to get a gift. Though if they've just invited a whole class of 20+ kids... then maybe not so much! They'd probably get enough! :)
If you are still conflicted, perhaps something small? $5 little gift?
I wouldn't worry about getting a gift. I know that they purchased one for your child, but it evens out over the years and as a parent, I honestly don't keep track.
If this boy is a close chum with your boy, you could do a get together for the two of them to do something fun on a different date - spring for a movie or something rather than the gift. I'll bet the parents will appreciate that too :)
Good luck!
It is a child's birthday party, not a wedding or baby shower. If your child can't attend the party, there is absolutely no obligation to send a gift. However, please please please respond to the invitation and let the mom KNOW that you will be out of town and not attending. I can promise you, that mom will be more appreciative of the fact that you actually RSVP'd than any gift you could send for her child! Knowing how many guests to plan for is pretty important, and unfortunately, far too many people don't recognize that and don't their part to let the host know if they are or aren't coming. I would rather a million times over, that if you weren't coming to my kid's party, that you would call me and tell me in advance, instead of sending a gift but being a no-show.
If you really really really want to, then go for it. But it is by no means necessary.
it depends on who the kid is and how close we are. I have bought gifts for my cousin's kids (I'm close to my cousins') and for my neice when we've missed their parties, but if it was just a schoolmate, i wouldn't bother.
NO. The tradition of birthday parties is to celebrate the birthday child (or adult), not as a way to receive gifts. Gifts should always be appreciated, not expected. So, since you're not attending the party, I would not feel pressured to give a gift. Even if you WERE attending a party, bringing a gift is generous but not an expectation. If anyone sees it as otherwise, I would question their motives for having a birthday party for their child: is it to celebrate or is it to just collect presents?
Like I said, the true spirit of a birthday party is to celebrate, so maybe send the child a festive card, wish him a wonderful day, and let that be it.
Just My Opinion.
Dear S.:
The way I always handled this when my daughter was younger was determining how close a friend this child is. For a couple of her very close friends we would go ahead and send a present whether we could attend the party or not. If the child was not a close friend, we would only give a present if my daughter attended the party.
Little kids have so many birthday parties to attend it's expensive just sending your child with a gift to the parties he/she can attend!
L. F., mom of a 14-year-old daughter
I would send a $10 gift card.
How does your son feel about it? If he's sad he's going to miss the party and wants to get his friend a gift, maybe you could schedule a play date before you go. You could bring a gift and they could celebrate the birthday that way. Your son would probably get as big a kick out of that as the birthday boy.
Wow what a blessing that your son has so many friends and gets invited to share their big day : )
I would send something simple and a homemade card is always special or you can buy a cheap frame at the dollar store and put a picture of your son with the friend in it. Anything simple or homemade is always special.
I don't think it's necessary. However, it would be nice if you sent a card or just a small little gift.
