Baby #3 Is on the Way!

K.,

Congratulations on the new baby! I have 5 and I thought that going from 2-3 was a breeze. Try to encourage your children to be independent.

Dressing themselves...I kept their clothes in lower drawers so they could get what they needed unassisted sometimes and make it part of your routine now to let them put their own clean folded clothes away in thier drawers, so by the time the new baby is here thats just how you do things.

Something else I always try to do is to keep snacks made up and available to the kids so they can help themselves. Like banana bread (or any quick bread) baked and sliced I put it on the counter or table in a covered casserole dish (believe it or not it doesnt get stale if you leave the cover on). Or pretzels or muffins individually wrapped in a drawer or basket. I have also made up some sandwiches (like PB & J, egg salad-which are the 2 favorites here) and put them in sandwich baggies cut into 4ths then if I know its going to be a busy day or the baby was in a fussy time they could get the sanwiches themselves.

I also would get some small plastic bottles and keep individual portion sizes of milk in the fridge ready for them to grab themselves.

I didn't do this all the time, but there were some days that I was so glad I had these things handy! Especially if I had been up a lot the night before. Good luck to you and your family, and God Bless.

Hello, well for me it was quite a juggling act. I had 3 under 3 years old and it was VERY overwhelming. One thing I did was color code EVERYTHING so I knew whose was whose.. ya know? It was a rough few years.. ( I had nearly no help, meaning grandmas sitting for me and such). Now they are 8, 9, and 11 and I am a blessed woman ( I had 3 boys ) , they all are so sweet and smart and I just love them all so much.. I call them my " bouquet of boys".. Good luck to you and keep everything in perspective on a daily basis.. don't expect too much out of yourself., A.

Our baby #3 is 15 months now...and his brothers are now 5 and 4...about the same age difference as yours. My first two were only 13 months apart...so having a few years between #2 and #3 was wonderful for us. When I was nervous about baby #3, a friend gave me some advice which I realize was very useful...get your 2 older as independent as possible. Ensure they dress themselves (as much as possible), brush their own teeth, put their shoes/coats on. And ROUTINE ROUTINE ROUTINE. Some days are better than others :-) Now that my 15 month old is walking and moving around...things have gotten a lot crazier. I will walk around and baby-proof everything...then my older sons will go to the bathroom and leave the toilet seat up (not sure why babies love toilets). Or they will leave the basement door open. Or leave a tiny Lego piece on the floor. They are usually really good about letting me know if Sam is going up the stairs or climbing onto the train table. But I usually wish I had two more eyes!!

For me it was easier from 2 to 3 then from 1 to 2. For the 3rd the older two had each other to play with while I changed, fed or rocked the baby.

Where with the second, the first didn't get why I couldn't just put the baby down and focus totally on him.

My one piece of advice would be to make sure both older kids can dress themselves. That was my biggest mistake! I'd end up having to dress everyone on days that I needed to get out of the house which took forever and often stressed me out! I HATE to be late!

I hope it is a smooth transition for you!

Hi K.,
Having #3 was "icing on the cake" for us! Our oldest turned was one week shy of being 5 when the third child came and she started kindergarten the day after he was born! And we had a 3.5 year old daughter as well who was going to preschool for the first time. So in many ways our situations are similar. Having a third was way easier for me than having #1, mostly because I had confidence in my mothering skills. There wasn't too much anyone could say to me that would shake me up about parenting. I had figured out sleepless nights, the family bed, breastfeeding and just what worked for our family.

The biggest thing that I did was advice that came from a friend who now has 13 children - she told me to take the first week entirely off and stay in my pajamas as a reminder to me that I was to take it easy. She believed, and I think she was right, that if you take care of yourself for that first week, it so gets you ready for the weeks to come, but if you push hard that first week, it takes much longer to recover. So I did! I think my husband was able to take a little time off, but I also remember him bringing the baby downstairs to the main level and then I would walk down (I didn't do the stairs again until bedtime at night) and he would get us set up and the rest of the day we kept it simple and yes my daughters were helpful with many things. We did do make ahead meals and my mom helped a little after her work day. But mostly we were on our own.

When he was a little over a week old, we went to church and then a trip to the Cider Mill as a family - it was wonderful to get out in the fresh air and sunshine.

While those were busy days, esp taking my kindergartner to school, and a preschooler two days per weeks, picking them up, etc, it was all so worth it.

Now that my babies are 28, 26 and 23, I relish those early stay at home days. They still like each other and enjoy each others company.

You will be just fine. Just don't have too high of expectations for yourself, your baby, your boys or your husband. Give yourself permission to lay low and do what you need to do.

PS: One other thought about your other question about preschool, if you are still uncertain come the fall, you could always wait till mid year (January) to send him; that way he still gets the experience but not when the family changes are happening.

K.
Congratulations! I read both of your questions and my opinion about sending your 4 yr old to preschool this fall would be to not send him. I think you have the answered your own question. With a new baby coming and moving and school would all be too much. Keep him home with you. Yes it will be chaos at times but at home is where he will learn his best socializing skills- not at school. Besides you will be able to teach him the socializing skills you want and not learn them from other 4-5 years old who also don't have any social skills. Next year when he's 5 then he'll be ready for knidergarten, which few people don't know that it is not mandatory to send your kid to kindergarten. It is a way for the school to get more funding.
Anyways on the 3rd baby coming and how to handle it......you'll do fine, you'll do what needs to be done and learn to let other things go. Don't keep high expectations for yourself to make others happy. Do what makes you happy, don't try to conform to what you think society thinks you should or shouldn't be doing. If you need help don't be afraid to ask for help from others(it's not a sign of weakness..it's a wise thing to do), if you need a break... take one. But most of all love your children unconditionally, take them outside...alot, and play with them, and make time for them.
Good Luck!
C.

A little about me:
SAHM of 4 homeschooled kids(11-b,9-b,7-b,5-g. Been very happily married to wonderful hubby for 14years. Have 2 friends from high school with 4 children, have a friend with 10 children. We all survive very well with many children.It almost seems to get easier. You'll figure out what works best for you.

I had four children, about two years apart. It was an absolutely wonderful adventure - they are all in their 20's now and love me still - so it was a successful journey. The third one is a breaker. When you have two, you each get one - three pushes the edge. My advice - be flexible, try to be organized, take a few moments for yourself every day, take some time for your husband each day, and spend a few minutes ALONE with each child, or, at least, focusing on what that child wants once a day. Have a short bedtime routine - reading, prayers, talking about your day - and feed them nutritiously. TV babysitting is not BAD if you choose worthy "kid" shows and watch with them in between chores. Let them, expect them, to HELP you with your household duties - kids can stir, tear up lettuce, fold washcloths, pick up toys before daddy gets home, "read" to their younger sibs ... etc.
Best of luck and enjoy every minute.

I was terrified of having 3. My 2 boys were only 3.5 and 1.5 when my daughter was born. She is the light of the family and I can't imagine our family w/o her. Yes, it was hard and my oldest got the worst of my tension and hormones, but he's 14 now and a good kid. I found it very important to allow independence as early as possible. You'll have less hands than kids so you'll need to use your head more for discipline, housework, etc. I did have to give up some standards of a clean house. It become a "kid's house" once they outnumbered us! Good luck and congrats!

Congratulations on baby #3. You are already used to the sleepless nights and the diaper changes. Financially it will be a little more expensive depending on if you are using disposable diapers and feeding with formula. You probably already have the toys and clothes to get the baby started. I have four children, all at least 3 years apart in age. I remember at one time, I could nurse one baby, wash another child's hair, read a story to another child and make a sandwich for another child, all being done at the same time. Believe it, your two boys will be big helpers. Some days are more hectic than others but just remind yourself that a new day will start at midnight and things will be different the following day. Happiness and health to you and your family.

Hi K.. I have three girls and they are spaced about the same as yours will be. I felt that the transition for me from 2-3 kids was MUCH easier than going from 1-2. My older girls were still young but could be surprisingly helpful. I think one of the best things you can do is really try to prepare them for the idea of a younger sibling. WE talked about the baby a lot, talked about what we would name her and talked to them about what they could teach her as big sisters. They loved talking about what they would teach the baby to do when she got bigger. They helped me get the room ready for her and I took video of them hanging the baby clothes in the closet which was so cute. They were so eager to have a little sister that there was no time for jealousy when she actually came, so that was great. I also recommend that you record them the day she comes home from the hospital. I really regret that I didn't think to do this and they were SO cute welcoming her home.

I found that going to three kids affected me in a more subtle way than having my second. The day-to-day routines weren't that much more difficult, I just couldn't seem to do anything "extra" such as some of my hobbies. I felt a lot more disorganized over the first year (she is 1 months old) and am finally starting to catch up and get back to some of the "me" stuff that I want to do. I remember wondering why I had had such a hard time over the course of the year with keeping up with things and realized "Oh, yeah. I had a third kid a year ago ;)"

You have been given lots of good advice from the other mamas here and I'm sure you'll do great :) I definitely agree that you should get the older kids as independent as possible before the baby comes. That was one of the things I worked on and it was a BIG help - especially getting my second daughter potty trained. Good luck with everything!

J.

Hi K.!
Congrats on your pregnancy. My sweet three range in ages, son to be 4 in May, daughter just turned 2 in November, and the youngest, boy is just about to turn 9 months within 40 minutes.

It's rather funny when I go out because I have people ask me..."Are these all yours?" then comes..."What's the ages?" followed by..."Wow, your a busy woman!"
Yes, I'm busy and to me it wasn't a huge change in life, to my husband it was like the world flipped. But then again, I'm a VERY relaxed person and he tends to get worked up over things.

However, now that my youngest is scooting across the floor and getting more vocal it can be a bit busy/loud at times. Not until just recently did I notice that my oldest son was having to attention issues. He's the first to awaken so I always sit down in the chaise lounger with him and snuggle and watch a show to give him so of his own time. But it just didn't seem to be enough. Being a boy it's not like he's into all the hugging and kisses, but I still do it. However I've been trying to sit down with him more and try to do some sort of game (like memory) or we got him the Leap Frog Click Start computer and do that with him. Ever since then he's been a lot better. My daughter will let me know if she's feeling a bit left out by just getting a bit more crankier or wanting me to hold her. She's good with me getting on the couch and saying, "let's snuggle" and then throwing in some tickles and she's good to go.
Anytime I get the older ones wanting my attention at the same time that the baby needs me I stop, get down to their level and have them look at me and tell them, that he's very much a baby and mommy has to do stuff for him and so I'm going to do whatever it is that's needed and as soon as I'm finished I'll come right back and take care of them. They are 99% of the time good with that.

The BIGGEST adjustment is trying to go somewhere or to just get ready to leave the house. No matter how organized I try to be it's never enough. I now ask myself, "is it really worth the hassle of getting everything and everybody around". I still don't like to go out by myself. I usually ask my mom if she can tag along for the extra help. For a long time I didn't even attempt at going out. If I couldn't get my mom to come along or to come watch the kids I just didn't go.

I think that the winter months are for sure the hardest, especially this winter! Being stuck inside all day, everyday is hard. I try to make it out as much as possible to places like the Tree House in Chelsea to burn off some of that energy.

I hope this helps you out. Just try to relax and take it day by day.

Hello K., I had 3, but closer in age. My oldest had just tuned 3, the next was 16 months when #3 was born. The best advice I can give you is for the future. Treat them all the same, yet don't allow them to fight among each other, it will always be 2 against 1, and they will switch sides in the middle of a fight just to get your undivided attention. When they fought over a toy, I would take the toy away from all of them until they learned to play together(though each had some toys that they didn't have to share for a while, like presents to teach them to respect others property). When they argued over chores, I made them do chores together as a team, and if any fighting broke out, I would give them another chore until they could work together. It is important though to give each one their own time with you and their father. When they were little I would try to fit in 20-30 miniutes with each one individually doing something they wanted to do(color,walk,bake,etc.). As they got older I would plan an outing once a week with each. They are all in their 20's now and we are very close still because of the time spent when they were young. The last piece of advice is to always eat as a family together, it is the most bonding thing a family can do, next to worshiping God. Good luck and crongrats!!

Hi K.,

I will not lie to you #3 put me over the edge. I thought I was going crazy half the time. My advice to you is don't let it do the same thing to you. I regret not enjoying every minute of her being small. Keep telling yourself this is temporary, they are only babies for a short period of time. Let the house go from time to time, it will be waiting on you.LOL. I am now begging my husband for a 4th if that tells you anything. They are so worth all the craziness they may add. A big mistake that I made was treating my other 2 like they were big kids. They seem like they are compared to a baby. But they are still little too, especailly at 4 1/2 and 3. Good Luck to you and your family, and enjoy that new little bundle of joy when it arrives.

You're gonna love it! The biggest transition is from 1 to 2. Piece of cake! Congratulations!

Five more weeks until our third baby arrives. I still wonder many days what it will be like also. Going from 1 to 2 was a big adjustment for me so I'm hoping this one is a little easier. Here are a couple things that I'm doing to try and help make the process smooth.

The biggest thing I'm doing is making food ahead of time that can be frozen and pulled out when I need it. Potpie, waffles, muffins, calzones, stuffed shells, etc. I'm also going to stock up on easy foods that my kids (5 1/2 and 3) can get to if they need to...pb and j, boxed cereal and granola, etc)

I've also started to stock up on wipes and diapers as well as other toiletry items the rest of us will need (shampoo, soap, toothpaste, etc). I figure I won't want to go out to the store anytime soon.

Also, accept help from anyone who offers!!!

And lastly, my kids are very excited about the new baby. They know they'll get to share and help in lots of ways. Make the kids feel important and help them learn to be as independent as is good for their age.

Good luck, God bless and congratulations!!

I had three in 5 years and they are now 10,12 and 14. You will be fine. First and foremost treat them differently. All three of mine have distinct different interests and talents. Let them explore them all. If one loves carrots don't assume they other two will. If one walks at 9 months don't treat the 10 month old differently for not walking yet. Also keep yourself organized. Let them start helping at a young age with putting their clothes away, setting the table and helping you any way they can. Also having them so close you will be able to keep up with school and activities that they are all involved in.