Hi K.,
I don't have rheumatoid, but I do have arthritis in my back, neck, and hands (degenerative). I also have degenerateive disc disease, spinal stenosis, carpal tunnel, and (for icing on the cake) a herniated disc. The stenosis is the most difficult for me as it makes standing and walking painful. The arthritis and carpal in my hands, plus nerve problems from my neck that reach my hands also make numerous basic tasks difficult for me and some, impossible when it's really flaring. It's been very frustrating, especially the past several months as I've moved from mild & moderate to moderate & severe with the stenosis (and into winter with the arthritis). I have a son who has multiple health problems and it's been very frustrating for me to be "less than" I can and should be for him. It definitely gets to me, gets me 'down', although I'm not depressed and I'm not exactly sure as to how I've managed to avoid that, especially given my son's health (and my husband's, too, for that matter). I can no longer do all of the things I use to do and am quite limited with a number of abilities right now. My family is planning a return trip to Disneyland in the next month or so and we're going to have to rent a motorized scooter (like the LARK) for me to use and a wheelchair for our son to use (you have to be over 18 to rent the scooter, so he has to use a wheelchair instead). My husband will be the only one able to walk the entire day in the park -and that is a hard pill for me to swallow. My son and I can both walk, but not for a long period --I can't even stand for a long period, let alone walk. I am grateful, though, that we CAN rent equipment for us to be ABLE to enjoy the trip. It will just be so different from how it use to be when we'd drive down to Disneyland for a family vacation. It is hard to accept these changes and adjustments even while I am grateful that there are still ways for us to make it possible -and that's it's not even worse. It's just not what I ever expected or wanted for us. I may not be depressed, but I do feel defeated and that's been a tough one for me to work with. I'm the type of person who likes to fix things and I feel stuck in limbo over not being able to fix these things. I know that no matter what's happening, it could always be worse and I try to hold onto that perspective -to try to see my and my family's problems in a better light, but it's been VERY hard.
If you think I can be of any help or if you want to 'talk', please feel free to email me.
Take care,
M.