Argument with Husband

Yep.
Very early on in the marriage.
We've been married over 25 yrs.
Basic fair fighting 101.
Know WHEN to engage.
If you (or he) are SO angry you need to cool off before you can communicate intelligibly - just say so.
"We need to talk about this but right now is not a good time. I need to think this over and cool down. Let's talk about it later when we can both be civilized about it.".
This works fine as long as you don't put it off indefinitely.
You've got to be able to resolve conflicts but it doesn't have to be a shouting match.

Sure. But the best thing you can do for your marriage is to own your role in the argument. Apologize. Talk about what you can do better and choose better next time. Reaffirm your love and respect for your husband. Don't stay in that place of poor communication and disappointment.

My ex and I weren't big fighters. But if I ever did act regrettably, I always apologized, and that fixed it. Similarly, if he sincerely apologized for his behavior, I always forgave it (the fighting that is, not the cheating).

Just apologize. Two people were fighting right? Don't sweat it!

Yep - and when my husband and I find ourselves slipping back in to our old habits we go upstairs, lock the door, and have a very honest conversation. Often ends in tears...but it's necessary.

Admit your faults, apologize, and move on.

Of course. You were both tired, you both said stuff you wish you hadn't, you both know you can do better. So that means you both should apologize and then let it go and move on.

It's not the end of the world. You will do better the next time. But don't beat yourself up about it. And don't take all the blame.

of course. old patterns are hard to break, and most of us aren't so very evolved and strong that we can ALWAYS resist the impulse to fall back into unhealthy behaviors.
you apologize, you accept each others' apologies, you address the issue calmly, you move on.
make-up sex rarely makes things worse.
;) khairete
S.

Totally. But you can always fix it by not bringing up the details of the fight, yet apologizing for taking it where you took it. If it makes you feel better, my husband and I got into it over something silly Thur night, an evening we were supposed to go to a marriage seminar! We were both so mad at each other we almost didn't go and drove up in silence. Just one of those stupid fights where something silly brings up things that run a bit deeper, one or both people take offense far beyond what they should have, and the other one just keeps talking and saying more than they aught.

Yes of course. And being tired and burned out is the primary factor. We rarely disagreed before kids and easily would come to an agreement.

Of course, it happens. No one is perfect. We all say and do things we regret or are ashamed of from time to time. As long as it's not a habit, not the norm, then you will be fine. Apologize, have some great makeup sex and move on!

Of course. but we all move on.Love is about realizing that.

Of course! Don't beat yourself up about it. Your husband is not perfect and neither are you. Nor are any of us in this forum. We all say and do things we regret to our spouses and our other loved ones.

Try to take something away from it that you learned from. A stark reminder of how you dislike communicating. Maybe an appreciation of how much you have grown over the years.

Maybe you have let off the steam and that has opened the situation up to being resolved calmly and logically.

In the meantime, pour yourself a glass of wine and give yourself the benefit of the doubt.

I get that you're trying to make things right, but you weren't the only one in the argument and it wasn't just YOUR job to "let things be". So stop trying to take all the blame onto yourself.

You both need to be making apologies. Not just you. This isn't just your responsibility. Make sure you don't let your husband think that. Once that starts in a relationship, and it can even after 15 years, then the balance of "power" gets messed up and it causes a lot of anxiety in a marriage. Don't let that happen.

Yes! We all have these at times. Being tired is the worst. When my husband tries to talk with me, and I know it's going to go South quickly, I warn him that he does NOT want to talk with me at this time. Usually, he'll walk away and we can address it later. If he pursues it, it's ugly.