My little girl is due June 2nd 2013 and my husband was Has go on a business trip on June 8th.I will have a few days of help.He will be gone for 2 months!!!!These things happen often were he works. I have lots of little ones running around the house.I have lots of Errands to run.Has anyone ever gone through this problem.A 13 year old who has to get daily check ups.A 9 year old who likes to sneak up on mom a lot and a picky 2 almost 3 year old.
Well here's my only thought....if you don't have relatives nearby, can you afford a mother's helper? Maybe a teenager that can look after the 9 and 3 year olds?
Whatever the issues with the 13 year old, I hope they get better. And congrats on the new baby. If I were closer, I'd offer to help!
You do need to hire help. Bite the bullet and do it. I'd start now, actually, and put together dishes that can be frozen. If your kids will eat stir fry, buy frozen mixed vergetables and use them for easy stir fry after the baby comes.
Good luck!
Hire help. If you must be with your 13 yr old, then find a caregiver for the 2 and 9 yr olds. Or put the 9 yr old in day camp. I would look for a college student who can help you with the kids during the day, at least PT.
Most Children's Hospitals have Sibling Play Rooms (babysitting). Alternatively, if you're doing treatments at an oncology clinic, you might look into R NcDonald housing near a Children's Hospital & switch her treatment/care providers to full time.
When my son was sick I was friends with several 12-18mo cancer families ... Several of whom left the Children's Hospital to drive 5 blocks to the UW hospital to give birth, and then were back 2 days later. Their babies had playpen cribs in the room with their older sibling & at RMcD... As they needed to sleep w Mom for nursing. They took their first steps in the hospital/ we had bday parties for them at RMcD or up in the cafeteria.
Their cancer-sibling was usually schooled in hospital, their other siblings attended the local elementary/mid/highschool for a year.
Many of these families were military, traveling spouse -have to keep working for health insurance, people understand-, or single parent. Where they might have been outpatient with 2 parents a d great support at home... Their families needed the extra support for both the child with cancer, and children without cancer.
As an added benefit, family counselling is onsite. As siblings INVARIABLY are affected (either taking on too much or acting out).
I don't know if that's something that would work in your situation... But its worth looking into.
Why does the 13 yo need daily check ups and what do they entail? I've had experience with cancer and any time a child needed medical attention daily they were hospitalized. If she has to be taken somewhere daily, perhaps you could arrange for transport with a cab company or your local public transportation system. I have a friend who worked for Tri-Met here and she drove a sedan for trips to the doctor. She was not trained medically. She was just a driver. The cost was less than for a taxi.
It will be difficult but you're probably already experienced in managing the household while husband is away. I mother's helper, perhaps a teen in the neighborhood, would be helpful and not too expensive. Just have her/him come in for a few hours each day.
You can teach the 9 yo to not sneak up on you. Talk with him and enlist his help. If necessary give him a consequence each and every time he "scares" you.
The 9 you can help keep track of the nearly 3yo. My 9 yo grandson with Aspergers and sensory issues is a big help with his 2 yo sister.
Have all of the children help you with the baby so that they feel involved and not pushed aside. Read up on how to integrate a baby into a household with older children.
I'm not sure what sort of tips you're looking for. If you listed specific needs we might be more helpful.
Those errands probably require at least some help that drives, particularly if you have a c-section (I wasn't allowed to drive for two weeks). I also found out after the [miserable] fact with my second that there are night doulas who will come overnight and handle either everything or everything but breastfeeding (depending). Pricey, but if it's just you and three kids, likely to be worth it on a few occasions unless this one is a miracle sleeper. Sleep deprivation makes everything so much harder, especially with the toddler.
The outside park suggestion is obviously a no-go this time of year here, but we did have a sitter come take our barely 3-year-old to the mall play areas or the $2 movie theater a few times of week after the second was born.
Hi Cancermom;
I'm quite sure your 9yr old can help you, and if you start a chore list, (doesn't have to be a ton of work, but a few chores that would REALLY help you) and involve the other children in helping you care for the new baby. I am focused on the other children helping you because your husband will be gone for so long , you need help! also; this may sound strange, but consider hiring a babysitter 2 or 3 times a week to take the children to a park, etc... pack a small "picnic" for them of drinks and snacks, so they can enjoy their time at the park and not get fussy and cranky because they get hungry quickly.so you have peace and quite when nursing baby and when you put baby down for a nap, allowing you to peacefully nap or get a few things done without having to look around every 2 seconds! daily check ups?! wow! again, the babysitter would help, as you can have her babysit at your home while you go to check-ups, and then have her take them to a local park,etc for some much needed peace and quite. it's not a big expense to hire a qualified baby sitter, and it will be SO worth it! just a thought, good luck to you, and dont forget to let us know how things go!
Well at 13 he/she should be able to help, unless there is a medical issue..daily check ups? I had my son when my daughter was 9, that child is also old enough to help out. Come up with a game plan now, prepare the children now and everything should be fine.
Eek.
Be sure you have a back up plan in case your baby's delivery date goes over the expected one. It happens, and all it would take is you to go until June 6, and you might not be discharged from the hospital when husband is scheduled to leave.
Necessity necessitates. You do what you have to do. A 13 yo who needs daily check up? Like with a doctor? Sounds like this is not the first time your husband will be out of town for an extended time.
Her 13 year old daughter has cancer. That's why she would be having the check ups.
