Here is the situation...We have our house on the market and I am wanting to rent instead of buying another home. I want to have time to pay off both cars and our credit card debt. We cannot afford the upkeep of a home right now especially since I was laid off my job and have not found another one. The major delima with all this is that we have 2 cats and 2 dogs, but no rentals will allow this many animals. My husband is refusing to give any of them up, and I have tried to explain the cost involved with taking care of four animals and three kids. I have told him that the animals can be replaced but our children cannot, but nothing is getting him to budge. I'm so frustrated that he is choosing the animals over his family, and I am going to go crazy! Don't get me wrong, I love our animals too, but my kids come first in my book and they are NOT equal!!! Am I being unreasonable in suggesting that at least two animals have to go for now? What would you suggest we do? Is there possibly a happy medium that I'm not seeing? Any advice/suggestions are appreciated.
We have already taken everything extra out of our budget. Monthly we pay our mortgage, electricity, gas, and water. Two car payments - one only has five more payments(be stupid to get rid of that one), and the other is a lease that will cost more than the car is worth to turn in. We are not paying on any of credit cards right now; like Dave Ramsey says, "You have to take care of your four walls first." If we pay our credit cards then we don't eat - us or the animals. We have cut literally everything that we can. We have already gon through Dave Ramsey FPU, and renting instead of owning is the most logical thing for us at this point. I'm not haveing a hard time finding places to except animals, but ones that except 4 animals is the problem.
Have him look for a place to rent and do the budget and pay the bills if he's not already. If he sees how hard it is to find a place to rent, it might change his mind.
First, there are places and rentals that will allow you to have that many animals, just not apartments. Some houses cost the same as apartments too.
Which animals are you thinking to rehome? I think you may be able to find a good solution with the animals, just be patient in finding another place.
There are also a lot of ways to restructure your debt, I was in banking 15 years and in collections for 8 of those years. Sometimes its best to file for bk or even turn in the vehicle or trade it for something much less expensive.
it may take time and personally contacting home owners about YOUR exact situation, but if you really try, you can likely find a rental that will take your pets. i was HORRIFIED when we moved across the country with a toddler, newborn, and 4 dogs(one is a doberman) and out house hadn't sold yet, so we HAD to rent for a period until our house sold. i got out the list of rentals that "allowed pets" and began pleading my case. i offered to email photographs inside/outside of our current home, send a letter notarize by our realtor, send a letter from our vet, etc. - to prove to the home owner that 4 dogs did NOT equal me destroying their home. the first person i contacted agreed and we left their home in better shape than it was in when we found it. so, that's an option you may want to try. i'm a lot like your husband, i would have to LITERALLY not be able to feed my children before i could give up a pet that i made a lifetime commitment to. the animal shelters are just overwhelmed right now, it's incredibly sad. my suggestions may not be an option for your family, but that's what worked for us when we had to rent with four dogs, one of which is generally considered a "bully breed". good luck!
I would have a hard time getting rid of my animals, too, so I sympathize. Can you find a friend or family member who could keep them with the idea that you would someday want them back? Cats here, dogs there, something. Maybe that would help your hubby deal with letting them go. If he can't agree to that, he needs to come up with a solution. If there just isn't enough money to feed everyone, he needs to get another job to bring in more money. If it's up to him to solve the problem, he'll think of something.
I agree with Vicandjulie and Rochelle... keep looking for a rental that will allow animals. Finding a three bedroom/two bath for your family that will allow animals is out there. Talk with different people like a rental management company or some people at your church. Networking will help find that house cheap enough for your budget. Get your husband involved with the bills and show him the math. I use an Excel spreadsheet I made myself - it's only based for twice per month pay periods (husband is military). If that sounds like something you need, let me know and I'll email it to you.
I would also look at taking the pets and seeing if family or friends could take them while you guys catch up. Or maybe take only half of them to the shelter? Keeping only two animals? You'll have to find compromise and not battle this out.
Good luck, God bless :)
It's awfully hard to get anywhere when you are pitting the practical head against the emotional heart. You may find a way to hear your husband, and in turn be heard by him, by applying the principles of Non-Violent Communication.
Google for the basic process, examples, books, and classes. It's good stuff, and only one person in a dispute needs to know how to use it. Both my husband and I have learned this process, and find that it can transform very difficult situations. It does take conscious work, and it does require that you also listen compassionately to the other person. But there's nothing to lose, and much to gain. Especially when the relationship is a marriage.
My best to you. These are trying times for so many of us.
If you're not making payments on your credit cards you won't be approved for financing a new house anyway. That should allow you to win on the renting vs buying issue.
Congratulations on working hard on your budget and becoming debt free. Hang in there! It's totally worth the hard work. I read Dave Ramsey's book and we're in the process of becoming debt free. Good luck!
One thing you could try is conacting the local animal shelter regarding fostering your animals. They will not take them there but they may know a group that could arrange something. I knew someone that had to get rid of pets for a similar situation but really did not want to. They contacted PAWS and was setup with a family that fostered 2 of their dogs. A contract was written up regarding feeding and such. They were responsible for vet care and did buy food but the foster family would call and say not to buy food because they did. They got the animlas back after a year. And they did get to visit since they did not give up ownership or anything like that.
