Another Potty Training question..LOL

I have three kids, and my only son seemed to be the one afraid of the toilet. Not only did he prefer a diaper to underwear but he hated going in the bathroom especially if they had auto flush. I used to forget in the beginning and would take him into a stall fighting the entire way and the toilet would go off. He would stop mid fight and climb my let, I could not hold back the immediate laughter (poor guy).

Over time I allowed him to push the buttons on the auto flush even if he was not the one that had to use the toilet. It still scared him at first but then he started asking me if he could do it and looking for auto flush toilets. We all fear things we don't understand so maybe if you can help him understand the purpose it will help. Bring him in the public bathroom even if you do not need to use it. Walk in and just walk around or let him look at himself in the mirror and wash his hands. You could also give him a special potty book that he gets to read only when using the potty outside of home (small enough to keep in your purse). Hope that helps, good luck!

Hi, Cricket. Is he overly afraid of germs? Or dirt? Do you yourself have a problem with other people's bathrooms? He might have picked up on this.

I, myself, was terrified of drains when I was your son's age. My sisters told me over and over again that I was going to get sucked down the toilet or bitten by a wild toilet snake or sucked down the bath drain some day when I least expected it. It took a long time for me to get over that fear; even today, I have a deep fear of pool drains and sometimes have to get up my nerve to swim in the deep end. Seriously.

He might just have a certain amount of anxiety about being away from home, and he expresses this mostly in the bathroom. If he has a fear of germs, and he knows the potty is full of yucky germs, this can only make things worse. Maybe if you used a disinfecting wipe on the toilet seat, you could let him know that all the yucky germs are gone. Also, does he use a special potty insert on the toilet at home? If so, and there is no special insert that makes the hole in the seat smaller, then know for a fact that he is at the age where he is VERY aware that he could fall in. You would be surprised at what kids his age are scared of.

Maybe you could have Daddy or Grampa show him that the toilet is safe, that big boys use it all the time, and that everyone is super proud of him for using the big potty. But be patient with him because getting frustrated at his fears is only going to make those fears worse.

Peace,
Syl

LOL....this reminds me of a story with my own son who was also afraid, but mostly of the potties with the automatic sensor. He thought it was a cyclops eye (too many disney movies!) So I just about had him convinced that it was a FRIENDLY eye that watched him and flushed for him when he was done. At that point, his big sister announced, "no, it's a SCARY eye that eats little boys!!" My son then proceed to climb up my leg and it took weeks before he would use a public potty again!!

Gotta love sibling rivalry.....

Does he sit or stand to pee? My son gets nervous of public toilets sometimes because at home we use the cushion thingy on the toilet. In public, I'll ask if he want to sit down (and I hold him) or stand up (and I lift him and hover him over since he is usually too short to reach). If he is nervous about falling in, the standing up should do the trick-- carry cherrios in your purse and toss in a couple for him to aim at. If he needs to sit to poop and is afraid of falling in, Babies R Us sells a thin, plastic folding travel seat that sits on the toilet and keeps them from falling in
here is a picture of it
http://di1.shopping.com/images1/pi/f8/de/5b/29091368-177x...

I know while I was training my oldest, she was afraid of the toilet flushing by itself. I end up putting a piece of toilet paper over the sensor and either holding it or tucking it in so it doesn't come off. Then the fun was her taking it off and throwing it in and watching it go down by itself.

Hope that helps some and good luck!

I don't know how to "fix" this problem. But I have known adults who do everything in their power to NOT go anywhere but home. Not because they're germophobes or anything, but they just don't like doing something so private anywhere but home.
So, good luck with this one.

Have you had any luck asking him what exactly it is that he doesn't like about those other potties? Does he use the regular toilet at home or a seat attachment? Does he have a step stool at home and not other places? Does he not like the tissue other places? There could be a specific reason he is fearful. At his age, he might be able to verbalize what it is if you phrase the questions right. Did an "auto-flush" traumatize him early on? (They freaked my daughter out!)

Try not to let yourself get all stressed out, because he will sense it and make it even more stressful on him. Remember: genuine praise (but not over the top) for going places other than home. And don't belittle his fears about it (i.e., "see, that wasn't so bad, was it?")... just tell him you're glad he was able/comfortable enough to use it.
Hope this helps!