ankDepression After 4 Years?

Oh A., I feel yah. Grief is a funny thing. It affects all of us a little differently, and doesn't stick to a certain timeline.

I thought this might be useful to you, it's a local (free) bereavement group. Support groups have given me SO much hope and relief throughout my life. Maybe it would be a useful tool for you too?

http://www.memorialcare.org/classes/class-details.cfm?id=...

Big hugs to you. This stuff is tough, and you are not alone.

Dealing with grief is a complex thing - and when you experience a lot of death at an early age and are not properly taught or able to work through that loss it can set up a challenging pattern (my company runs a grief camp for children - BTW).
that said, it is never too late - seek out a grief counselor and work through some of these feelings of depression and acceptance, etc.

In terms of your mother trying to contact you, I have no exprience or advice to offer, but there is the power of suggestion (a very simplistic example - buy a blue car, you see blue cars everywhere - you are constantly thinking of your mother and therefore subconsiously could be steering yourself to things/actions that pull items up that remind you of her, etc). Regardless of my knowledge of this subject (none), you could work with a medium to channel your mother/spirit to see what it is she is trying to communicate to you. . .
Good luck. this is very complex situation and I don't believe one answer or action will address all you need.

Hello, I just want to say that if you are sad all of the time, you should seek counseling or find a grief support group. That being said, I would like to share with you what happened the night of my husband's death. He died suddenly and we were, needless to say, very devastated. We were trying to keep things as normal as possible for our grandchildren, so we had them to play their baseball games that evening and the next. I attended each game. At the first game, I had my winter jacket on and had my hands in my pockets. I then took them out and a few minutes later, I put them back in. I noticed something was in my right pocket. I pulled it out and it was a penny. I had not felt it earlier. I knew this was a "special" penny. I had found pennies after my brother's death and found out that my sister and mother had begun finding them as well. My mother had even had a dream in which my brother came to her and when he went to leave, he told her that he was going to leave his change. That was when it all began. Anyway, back to the night my husband died. When I went home, I went to my bedroom and remembered the penny which was now safely tucked in my jeans pocket. I took it out and was walking across my bedroom floor heading for the "special penny" jar. As I walked, I told myself to check the date and if it was a 1967 penny, I would know that my husband was okay. I went around my bed and turned on the light. I looked at the penny and it was a 1967 penny. Coincidence, I don't think so. My husband and I were married in 1967. If I hadn't already believed in life after death, I would have had to at that point. This gave me such relief. I hope this helps you to know that if your family is reaching you, the message is that they are okay. I completely believe that there is life after death and sometimes we are able to communicate with them. I still get very sad at times, because I miss my husband and the others I have lost in the last two years and even before that. I had lost my aunt, who was like a second mother only a month before my husband, my father recently, two more aunts and a dear friend of 39 years. I understand how you are feeling. I can only say that you will always miss them, but the punch gets softer as times goes by.
Focus on living your life and raising your daughter. She may also be able to communicate with the family you have lost.
I hope this isn't sounding like I am a crazy person. I am really quite normal. I babysit my grandkids, volunteer in a school and live life quite normally.
Good luck with your precious little girl.
K. K.

I just lost my mom in March and have been struggling with depression as well. I wish my mom would do as much stuff as yours is. I only had one experience since she passed of a musical doll playing after years of sitting on a shelf and never playing. That day was the happiest I had felt since it happened and I wish she would do more. People have suggested going to a support group to me as well but I'm just not ready to open up face to face with people. Right now I'm reading a book called "Motherless Daughters" by Hope Goodall(?). I really like it so far. I hope you find your peace.

Just wanted to tell you that my mom has been gone 12 years as of 8/22 and I cried all day on that anniversary as if she had just died. I too have experienced many deaths and I don't believe time heals. I believe that time allows you to live more comfortably with the pain. I think you are completely normal to be feeling pain 4 years later. Embrace any signs you might be getting and find comfort in them. I wish I still got those little reminders - it's been years since I have felt my mother's presence. Anyway, if you feel like you can't cope or are really depressed, being a part of a grief group is certainly not a bad idea. In a group you can always bounce ideas off each other about what helps and what doesn't. Maybe you can find some comfort being surrounded by others with similiar pain. Wishing you the best on healing your heart......

You should REALLY, attend a community "grief group."
Google search one for your area.

When my Dad died several years ago... my Mom attended one in our city. It is for ANYONE going through grief or any kind of loss. Be that death, suicide, divorce etc.
And she met many good friends there... all who could understand her because they were grieving something too.
It helps... overcome it.
She still attends, when she needs to.
It provided MUCH support for her emotionally.... and it was a place to commiserate with others who could relate.

I was so happy to hear your "So What Happened" report back. Dealing with Clinical Depression is something which needs to be tackled one day at the time. It is only when we look at our past and / or try to anticipate our future (instead of living in the present) that we become overwhelmed. I, personally, derive huge comfort from the Serenity Prayer (God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can and the Wisdom to know the difference). Usually, if I take the time to recite the Serenity Prayer, I realise that the "problem" is either out of my hands or something I'm able to handle. Either way, it stops me from going down that slippery slope of helplessness and hopelessness. You are never alone! God Bless you and your precious child.

I lost my dad almost 11 yrs. ago and I'm not over it but I'm reading a book that has put a lot into perspective and explained the stages of grief. It's called Transcending Loss understanding the lifelong impact of grief and how to make it meaningful by Ashley Davis Prend. I hope this helps you I know it has helped me out!

What a beautiful song. You poor dear, please get some professional help now. It sounds as if you're suffering from depression and post traumatic stress disorder. There is good help available. Please, for the sake of yourself and your family address it now. Good luck!

A. the grieving process and time is different for everyone. Seems like you've had a lot to bear at such a young age. Always talking and expressing your feelings is a good way to deal with it. Don't keep it bottled up inside. Pray for comfort and peace. Things will occur that will remind you of your mom (and family members) and that's when you have to keep them in rememberance of the good times and the love. It will sometimes make you laugh, cry, smile and maybe even frown. I know your mom wouldn't want you to be depressed, but to live your life to the fullest in her physical absence. She will always be in your heart. Is there a pastor or support group you can talk to? My heart bleeds for you...