I am just cracking up because I just read a quote by my all-time favorite hottie, George Clooney. The guy is known for his practical jokes, so I'm not surprised to hear him admit:
"We think it's one of the funniest things in the history of mankind. Even the idea of a fart makes me laugh," he tells the magazine. "Saying the word 'fart' makes me laugh. I have iFart on my phone. I have remote whoopee cushions. Farts. To me, there's nothing funnier."
I will admit that one year I purchased a self-inflating whoopie cushion as a stocking stuffer for my hubby. It instantly became a hit in our house. He took it into work and his office "used" it so much that they broke the darned thing!! So I had to go buy another one at Restoration Hardware. In fact, I stocked up, lol, since they were on sale at that point.
Now someone pointed out to me recently that there are "fart machines" that you can set up secretly and really have some fun with. That's opened up some whole new hilarious possibilities, but I'm not sure if I want to go that far. But might be another funny stocking stuffer for my husband this year (he was the kid who was called in to the principal's office with his mother over farting incessantly in the classroom)
Anywho ... of course we contain ourselves and our fart humor outside of our household ... but who else out there thinks that farting is funny?? I'm sure I'm opening myself up to some criticism here, but it's all in good fun -- and quite natural, as we all know :)
Added: bwaaahaaahaaa! I love the baby tooting and startling herself; our dog did that just the other day! he looked toward his rear and was like 'wth was that?'
MOLLY: That's priceless!!!!! "Cuppa Cheese?!" These stories are hilarious!!!! Tracy K -- is your boss Michael Scott?! The MIL set up w/ the fart machine? Awesome! I may just have to get one of those now :) I'll never forget once I had a friend over to spend the night as a teenager and as my mom was saying goodnight and leaving my room, she totally farted! My friend and I died laughing and my mom ... just died. My girlfriend brought it up the other day and we were cracking up!!
Aunt Mel Mel ... there is nothing worse than walking into someone else's fart in an empty store aisle, lol and yuck!!!
You wanna hear who has the stinkiest farts ever, though? VEGETARIANS OMG
Bug, honey, let it out! I was totally repressed before I met my husband. As in, I don't really ever recall farting, even while alone. I met my husband at age 25 and he's never been shy about it. After probably 2 years together, I finally thought, "What the heck? Why's he having all the fun?!" He still rolls his eyes. What a can of worms that guy opened.
You are all the best, seriously. I've been cracking up at my desk this whole time and have wanted to respond to every one of you! I think I'm going to show my husband this post tonight; he'll get a real kick out of it. And Patricia G? 'Inquisitive' farts?! You totally nailed that one!!
Thanks for all the laughs and for playing along. Can't wait to check out those sites, Jim & Sarah :)
***Oh, BH, live a little, eh? Life's too short not to laugh at the silly stuff. And actually, I normally refer to them as 'toots' and not farts in our household but I had a little fun w/ it yesterday. I also pointed out that this is clearly something we leave in our household. Perhaps if you're a little "stuffy" you should have just "passed" this one up and not commented as I'm sure some other moms did. Lighten up.
Depends on the time and place. :)
My "favorite" are the mid-intimacy farts - way to change the focus of a moment. Happened to me last year and it took at least 5 minutes to get back on track!
And why are farts so inquisitive? Did you notice that the noise they make always has that questioning tone?
Only when I "toot" do I giggle over a fart :)
Or when the baby does it and it is so loud and long that she stuns herself and looks around for the noise! haha
Hubby - Nope! he does it WAY too often to make it funny.
My oldest dd used to do it on command and at 2 it was commical, but again she is older now and not so much.
My boss is a fart monster. He thinks they are the funniest thing ever. he has a fart machine and that's how we "welcome" new employees. He calls us all in a meeting, very serious and quiet and plays his little fart machine. You should see thier faces. What a guy.
Am I wrong to think of George Clooney farting sexy?
My dog does the same thing - "did I just do that??"
We call my daughter and husband the tooter twins - she seriously can fart on command.
I of course don't fart (whatever!)
All fart toys... I think we've owned them at some point.
A favorite card that I sent out - a Victorian couple sitting in an elegant room...the man says to another - 'How dare you fart before my wife!' Reply 'I didn't know it was her turn!'.
Funny here too. Hubby's family is genetically predisposed to loud ones, often and smelly. Son inherited. Funny family story...
Last day of school, 9 YO son went out of town with friends. Now this mom KNEW about his propensity for ummm.... odorizing in the car. Well, as they prepared to leave on a 7 hour car trip, she stops to buy them lunch- Taco bell, bean burrito's. HELLO??? Mistake number 1!!! So, as the story goes, the first few hours, it would be waving hands in front of the face and "ewww". 2nd couple of hours - gag and roll down the window. Last few hours, he was ordered to stick his butt out the window to fart. God's honest truth! She always says to me "how can such an awful smell come from such a tiny body?" (He only weighs 60 pounds - skinny, skinny boy!) Sigh....and he's all mine....
I grew up with a father we farted CONSTANTLY. I mean all.the.time. Nasty, stinky, make you want to puke farts. I have a hard time finding them funny after all those years of disgusting torture. Unless, it's in the middle of silence somewhere. Like at church, when the preacher is preaching. Or, during yoga. I seriously thought I was going to get kicked out, because I was laughing so hard at people farting. What is it with yoga and farts? Everyone in the class hated me. I mean, how could they not laugh? My dog farts and chases her butt. That's hilarious.
My husband is waiting for the day when he hears me fart. I never fart. never really have. I mean, I can't even remember a time when I did fart. Either I'm super lucky, or they're all storing up for a giant nuclear bomb of a fart. When I finally do, I know he will never let me live it down. If he survives the a-bomb fart!
P.S. I swear I don't hold them in!! I just don't have them!
I think there are times farts are funny. Usually the more serious the moment the funnier they become. We like to change up the fart jokes in our house so they don't get stale.
Ya know, blame it on the cat once or twice, funny, when the cat becomes the go to defense not funny. When the cat actually farts hysterical.
Fart jokes? Funny
Baby farts in bathtub? Funny
Grandma farts in church? Funny
Hubby farts..any time/place/situation? Rarely funny, mostly smelly
I don't fart.
:)
For some fartin' reason, yes, they are funny probably because of others' reactions more than anything else. My husband taught my 20-month-old to say "mommy tooted." Unfortunately she latched on to that and said it in a store today, following an embarrassing gas episode. Thanks Dad!
LOL yes! And it cracks me up that to my boys, they are just as funny to the teenager and his friends as they are to the kindergartner and his friends. Timeless.
My husband had all the kids convinced that there were invisible ducks in the house when they were toddlers.
Ah yes. I have several fart stories. They ARE funny! We all do it and at some point we all giggle... Even if it's just inside our own head.
Ok... Story #1 - I was sitting on the floor in my 1st place [looong time ago], petting my first cat, Trouble. She was a Maine Coon mix. She was kind of between my legs. My knees were up and feet on the floor. I let one rip. It was loud and she looks, shakes her head, and ran for the open window! LOL!
#2 - My husband and I were laying in bed one night and the dog was at the foot of the bed. We had hard wood floors that he liked to sleep on because a Husky likes things a bit colder. We suddenly hear a long foof sound and a squeak. THE DOG FARTED! My husband and I couldn't stop laughing and then as soon as the dog smelled his own, he got up and went into another room!!!
#3 - My husband and I live in a Polish filled neighborhood and the Polish festival is held right down the street from us mid-summer. Our neighbors are big into being a part of this festival. Well, my husband and I went to bed and our neighbors were having a good time in their back yard, playing music, having some beer, and all out having fun. The trumpets were going... When all of a sudden.... My husband and I began playing our own "trumpets" and we laughed like a couple of 6yr olds at a sleepover. This had to have gone on for almost an hour!!!
In our house, we all let em fly and have a good laugh. We know when NOT to do this stuff. : )
Of course!
(But only if they're not yours in an embarrassing situation!)
Oh gosh yes, farts are funny in our home too.
We have the r.c. fart machine ~ even the 3 y/o loves to play jokes on people with it. Santa put whoopie cushions in the boys' stockings last year. My boys also say we have a "toot monster" that lives in our house ~ if they don't blame the dog, they blame the invisible toot monster.
BUT, I don't think it's funny when my husband farts under the covers then fluffs them at me or tries to trap me underneath them!! LOL!
We have one of those fart machines and it is so much fun! One year, my Mother was visiting us and I planted part of the machine under a pillow where she was going to be sitting on the couch. She sat down, I pushed the remote and her face turned so red and she said, Oh my gosh! I promise that wasn't me!! We laughed until we cried. If you don't have one, you must get one. I think we got ours at Spencer Gifts at the mall.
p.s. One year in high school, we were in a CPR class. A girl got up to have her turn and as she started to blow on the dummies mouth, she let out one heck of a fart! I felt so bad for her but couldn't help but laugh with the rest of the class. :)
I always thought it was hilarious when my pug was a puppy and he would fart and then turn around all startled, looking at his rear end, with a look on his face that was like, "What the...?"
I know I'm chiming in late on this but....have to tell the funny story about farts in our house. I do make my kids sat excuse me when they do it every time except below.
My son was barely 2 when this started. Both my kids wanted to sit on my lap so I said sure, "We'll do a group hug!". They both got on my lap and I squeezed them both and my son let loose with a really long and loud fart. My daughter, who was 3 somehow got it in her head that that was what a group hug was. I squeeze them until one of them farts. It became and still is a huge game in our house. We do a group hug until someone farts and then keep on hugging until (in my then 2 year olds words) he's empty!!
Yep, depending on time and place they can be totally hilarious. My fil's farts in the middle of dinner, (or his anywhere)... NEVER funny.
Last week, I smelled something. I asked my two year old if she needed to be changed. She said, "No! _____tooted" First time she ever accused a sibling! She's one of the gang now! And she was right by the way.
Holding my sleepy baby and I'm silently dying of laughter! Experienced the yoga fart, old people fart, three year old daughter ripping the longest fart ever and it reverberating off her booster chair. ( we try not to laugh in front of daughter and always say, passed gas, but secretly, my husband and I laughed hysterically afterwards. I think deep down, all of us have that 7th grade boy inside who thinks the word, the sound, are hilarious!
My 3 year old gets a giggle whenever he "toots" or farts. Then tries to squeeze another one out to show me how funny it was... I can't help myself, he is so darn cute when he's funny!
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My 3 year old gets a giggle whenever he "toots" or farts. Then tries to squeeze another one out to show me how funny it was... I can't help myself, he is so darn cute when he's funny!
My boss is a fart monster. He thinks they are the funniest thing ever. he has a fart machine and that's how we "welcome" new employees. He calls us all in a meeting, very serious and quiet and plays his little fart machine. You should see thier faces. What a guy.
I'd forgotten.... HOW IT ALL STARTED:
"MY BUM BURPED!!" bwahahahaha
My son was 3. He's 9. My house is all boys, all the time.
I exacted payback, after 6 years, last week. It was immature. It was a bad idea. I know. But I've been dealing with this for soooo long that the bum was at face level of the boys and I GOT them. Finally. After years and years and years (and before my son, his cousins, his friends, my husband... there were all the military guys). Victory. (the shame) I don't find them funny, but EVERYONE found my payback funny.
My mom has a gas problem and was always embarrassed by it so we weren't allowed to laugh at or acknowledge farts in our house growing up. There were many times though that my siblings and I had to run from the room so we could go laugh at my mom's last blast. She really had no control, they came out at the dinner table, in public, everywhere.
My husband and I have fun with it at our house and our kids enjoy "contributing" too. We sneak up on each other or leave a "crop dusting" trail for someone to walk into. My husband also likes to fart under the covers and then try to cover my head with the blankets, he has never succeeded in cover my head....though I have covered his. :)
One day, I was walking down an aisle at the store and I attempted to sneak one out while walking. Unfortunately, it blasted so loud that I'm sure the whole store heard. Fortunately, no one was in my aisle but I was laughing out loud for minutes after it and I had to text my husband just to tell him. I still laugh when I think about it. I'm sure people were wondering about me walking around giggling uncontrollably, especially if they didn't hear the bomb I dropped.
Farts happen, you might as well enjoy the humor in it.
OMG!
here i was reading all these hilarious answers, and thinking about the other night when the dog farted - and it's bad enough when she does it, it SMELLS SOOOOO BAD - worse than anyone else's! and then she does the turn around and look at it like WTH was that? BUT....
it CRACKS ME UP when you can HEAR HERS JUST LIKE MY HUSBAND AND SON'S - and she just did it!!!!!!!!!!! lol!!!!!
we had her a year before i heard hers....and i still think it's the funniest thing ever.
so yeah. Toots are hilarious.
Oh my, too funny. Thanks for the laughs everyone!
Jim, my boys love the pooter. They share their favorite episodes with me.
OMG! Little man was sitting in my fiance's lap last night when I asked my son to go brush his teeth for bed. As soon as he got up my fiance jumped up yelling finally, ran across the room towards the kitchen and let out a Nasty one!! We laughed for about thirty seconds and then he went into the kitchen to get a drink. As he turned the smell of his own fart almost knocked him down! Now he knows how it feels! We have talked about getting the marriage blanket his are so foul. Ugh!
HILARIOUS!!!! I needed this today. Yes, they are most deffinately funny!
Can I still get one in? Not literally, trust me.
Last night, towelling off my daughter after bath, she stopped short and said, "uh oh!" and then proceeded to run to the bathroom door, open it, and 'toot' to the hallway. She then closed the door. (She's so considerate.) But then we joked that we should call her little brother to the door and tell him we have a present for him and wait to see if he 'gets it'.
We really ARE high class in our house!
Hilarious...you do have to laugh...My husband warns me...I have lots of gass tonight...and my kids say is Daddy going to blow a hole in the matress?....LOL! I have an English Mastiff and if you read up on them they fart worse than a human being....Room clearing ones!!! It smells awful but it is hysterical to hear him fart. My son at 4 is getting into it and thinks it's funny to do it at the dinner table and announce it :)
OMG these stories are hilarious, I have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard! I definitely think that farts are funny, and especially the unexpected, awkward situation ones. Here's a couple stories for you all...
In high school, at cheerleading practice my squad had just found out our coach (who we loved) had gotten fired and we were all sitting in a circle crying about it, when this one girl, at like the quietest moment, lets out this loud fart! That was 17 years ago and I still laugh about it!
When my cousins, siblings, and I were small children, we used to go for sleepover weekends up to our grandparents house. During one trip, my grandma had gone upstairs for something and my 3 year old brother was with her. She comes downstairs laughing, and of course we all wanted to know what was so funny. Apparently, she had farted while they were up there and joking asked my brother if he did it. He replied, "No grandma, I keep my butt closed." Hahaha! This story still gets told at family gatherings!
You should definitely get a fart machine, you'll have a blast with it. Have you ever seen one of those practical joke shows where they have a hidden camera and they're in a gym lifting weights with one of those machines? Fall on the floor funny!
Also, if you've never seen this, you're in for a good laugh.
http://socialgoat.wordpress.com/2009/10/26/farts-classifi...
Farts and burps... they're natural, so if you can't laugh about it, something's wrong with you. My son and I have farting and burping contests (when we're alone, of course) and crack ourselves up.
OMG- these responses have me in stitches!! We should start a fart fan club!
Of course farts are funny. Unfortunately for me if I fart and then laugh I continue to fart! It's been like that since I was a kid.
My son, when he was about three, let out one of those long high pitched farts. He covered his mouth and just about died laughing and then said, "MOM! I whistle farted!"
L.
I know I am probably responding late to this...but...I think they are funny!!!! Yes they can gross you out at times, but still even the grossness is funny lol. My husband always likes to claim that he gave me a "Dutch Oven" to his friends and in all reality, never succeeded....Well one night we were laying in bed and he was almost asleep and let one rip, I took the opportunity and "Dutch Ovened" him with his own fart!!! I love that I have that bragging right amongst our friends lol! Thanks for putting this topic out there, I am laughing soo hard reading a lot of these posts!!!
FARTS ROCK! Buy that fart machine... we have one... my husband set it off during "the blessing" at Thanksgiving..... HILARIOUS!!!!!!
Honestly? To me, that's an at home within your family kind of behavior. And the word fart? It's actually kind of vulgar. If I used that word when I was a child, I would have gotten a reprimand and or consequences.
I remember the first time I heard a pretty nasty word on the radio, while on a day trip, and I was appalled. Now words that were inappropriate not long ago are common. Society today can be pretty poor mannered on the whole... I think it's media proliferation, they seem to have no boundaries.
If it suits your sense of humor, well you have fun with it. Sorry to say, don't be surprised though if some people aren't as amused as you are.
