Am I Wrong? - Duncanville,TX

Updated on December 22, 2007
M.P. asks from Duncanville, TX
5 answers

Okay - basic story is that I have been single since I was 4 months pregnant for numerous reasons, and I haven't been on a date since then. My daughter is now 13 months old.

A few days ago, a guy asked me out for this Saturday. I know him really well, we've been friends for a long time and I want to go. But now I'm feeling guilty about wanting to go. I mean, is it wrong of me to want this and leave my daughter with my father for a few hours to go out with a guy??? Ever since she was born - 13 months ago - I've devoted EVERY minute of my day to her.

I just don't know. If anyone has any kind of advice or "words of wisdom" please let me know.

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J.C.

answers from Dallas on

i dont see the problem , you need to take time for your self. even if that means you leave your child alone with a friend. Who know where it will take you with your friend,but it just might something good for you and your child. he might want to be a part of their life. And this turns out to be just a one time thing you had a break. i know i can use every now and then . i have 3 kids. Good luck. and remember your child will grow up and then you will be alone, wisdom from my mother n law may she rest in peace, she was married 33 yrs. So i set time just for my husband and me. kept things alive.

1 mom found this helpful
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C.C.

answers from Dallas on

I agree 100% with Kristin...have fun enjoy some mommy time!...and remember don't look at this night as anything else...see it as a "FRIEND DATE" and that's all!!!!

Have fun enjoy yourself!!!!

Merry Christmas and MANY Blessings to you and your family!!!!!!!!

1 mom found this helpful
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C.P.

answers from Dallas on

This is an issue that plagues all Mommies, married or single...my best advice to you is some I got in a James Dobson book. Parenting is a marathon, not a sprint. You have to pace yourself or you will burn out...that means you have to try very hard to strike a balance. Moms need fun now and then, too! Here's the hard part--you have to know within yourself that it's OK for you to be YOU. There will always be the "haters" who judge you...you must be secure in yourself to ignore it. Some mommies live to judge others based on their decisions (bottle instead of breast, crib instead of co-sleeping, etc. etc.) and it can be very hurtful. Grow a thick skin, and enjoy your life with ALL your family and friends. You are still a daughter, a sister (?), a friend to someone, as well as a Mommy. Don't leave behind those other parts of you that are so special. It's very hard when you have an infant, especially if you are single, but you can do it! Best wishes, and have fun on your date!

1 mom found this helpful
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J.I.

answers from Dallas on

No it is not wrong of you to go out. I was a single mom for years. My only advise would be not to have him around your daughter to much until you know if you really want to date him or be in a relationship with him. Not trying to sound prude but I never had my now husband stay overnight when my daughter was home. I was just protecting her and her feelings.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.A.

answers from Dallas on

I do not think it is wrong. You owe it to yourself, and your daughter, to have some "mommy time." It will make you happier. Don't focus on making this a "relationship," just look at it as a nice night out with a good friend. If it develops into something more, then great. But don't put pressure on yourself.
I hope that you have a wonderful time... you deserve it!!

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