Am I Wrong ? - Cape Coral,FL

You are perfectly within your rights to not want company.

If they want to come they can stay in a hotel. Be polite but firm and honest and own your feelings.

"I am aware you want to come and am grateful for the support however I am under a lot of stress and need to respectfully ask you to allow me my own space during this time. If you need help locating a good Hotel I can help you with that"

Best wishes and good positive thoughts to you and yours!

~Please don't take this as being snarky but the ALL CAPS thing is very distracting to read...for me anyway! :)

You are right and they have no clue. They imagine they are helping you.
Put your foot down. Email works. Here is a list of hotels because I just am exhausted and can not have company. Thanks for understanding.

Well, lets hope you find a way to tell them to not come, but if you dont, and they do show up, go check into a hotel yourself and let them help at your house all they want.

C.:

Tell them the truth. No. You are not up for guests - EVEN FAMILY - at this time. If they can't respect that - that's THEIR problem, not yours.

Tell them they can stay in a hotel - but you will not have time for them as you will be caring for your husband and HIS needs.

It's OKAY to say NO. It's OKAY to stand your ground.

C.,
Absolutely, you are entitled to say NO to out of town guests!
Tell them with the surgeries, it will be a very stressful, demanding, and busy time for you, and if their trip is a "vacation" you might suggest it's done at another time when EVERYONE will be able to enjoy their time together, as after the surgery, you will not be the best host!

You do what you have to do.
You are in NO way being silly.

Just be honest and do not back down.
I am sending you and your husband good thoughts.

You are not wrong at all---you are super smart to say NO. I wouldn't allow them to say with me either especially since your husband is having surgery! They sound like they aren't coming to help, their comin to vacation--wrong time, wrong time. Tell them no and stick with it.

M

Just tell them you are happy they want to visit, but you are not up to having anyone stay at the house and give them some hotel options that are close to the hospital...not your home. That way, they can visit him when needed and not be close enough to your home that they are hanging out the whole time. Good luck!

Just graciously decline.

Say firmly..."Another time. Not after surgery. We've been through this before and we have our family system down to how it works best for us. I'm exhausted as it is. I sincerely appreciate you wanting to help us. But now is not the time. Thank you very much for considering us during this time. Please keep us in your prayers. That always means a lot to us. Another time, yes."

Now, how about those.......fill in your sports team name here.....??

Hotel - too much stress. Be honest, that you appreciate their help and find a lovely hotel nearby in their budget. I'd even let the hotel know about your circumstances and see if the may have a break in price for such a situation.

No love, you are not wrong. You are just as stressed as he is and you need your space for your own sanity! Just be direct and honest and let them know you appreciate the help and daytime, when you allow it, they are welcome to visit and help out. Staying at a hotel is just fine and don't beat yourself up about it! Praying for a speedy recovery and your peace of mind :)

It doesn't matter whether you are "wrong." If it adds to your stress, don't do it. It's YOUR house, you don't have to have guests if you aren't ready for them.

Just tell them that it is a stressful time for you and you are prepared to have house guests. You appreciate them being there for your husband, but they'll need to stay in a hotel if they come down because you won't be up for hosting them.

HTH
T.

You are NOt wrong!! Tell them no. This is NOT a good time for company, and if they want to be around or available while the hubby has surgery, then you can reccommend a hotel in the area closest to the hospital, however, you will have your hands full between dealing with your hubby and your other normal daily duties. If they offer to "help" while they are there, tell them that you really appreciate the offer, but that you have found that for YOU it is easier to stick to your normal routine during these stressful times and just try to do whatever has to be done on your own as usual, or you will request the help needed WHEN you need it. Simple, and to the point. You are under NO OBLIGATION to play hostess while your family goes through this stressful time. I wish the best to your husband and to you! Good luck! :)

No, sweet lady, you are not wrong. Just tell them, kindly, that you are not up for visitors right now and be FIRM about it. Don't let anyone make you feel bad!

I am so glad you have a good support system. I hope your husband's surgery goes well!

HUGS!!!!

If they're coming for vacation, they need to stay in a hotel. If they're coming to support you and your husband, they need to stay in a hotel. Let them know that they're welcome to visit for support during their stay in Florida, but you won't be able to take time off and don't have room in your home for them to stay. Be forward and up front, but polite. If they pressure you, stay firm.

"I understand, but this is what we need right now. We appreciate it that you're coming to visit and this is how it works for us."

You are not wrong. I would be honest with them that having house guests would be too much of a stress and extra work right now, that you would love for them to be near for emotional support but they would need to stay at a hotel, and suggest a couple that are near the hospital. Of course if someone wants to stay with you to HELP with the daily responsibilities then you might consider taking them up on it, but I would be selective on who...

First, in my humble opinion, there is no right or wrong when it comes to how you feel. As you are already stressed and your husband's surgery is only going to add to the stress I think you are well within in your rights to ask them to stay in a hotel, especially if they have needs you cannot meet. If I may suggest, simply tell them that due to the daily demands of your life as well as the added demands of your husband's surgery and stay in the hospital they will need to make other arrangements for their accomodations. I hope that his surgery goes well. If you are able, please let us know how everything goes.

Of course you are not wrong!
You can either offer to host them one at a time, or they can stay in a hotel near the hospital.

A couple of thoughts......Exactly how many people want to stay at your home?

If you suggest a hotel (closer to the hospital), do you think they will decline because the REAL reason they want to come to Florida is because the weather is better? OR, will they be OK with the hotel so they can visit their brother?

Is there a chance your husband could die with this surgery and his family wants to be near by?

If you did let them stay at your house, could you lay down some guidelines in advance, such as shared groceries, cooking, housework, because you are going to be busy with your husband and other commitments?

Did you write us all in CAPS because you are so upset you want to scream?

Is there anyone in your husband's family that you get along with, that you could confide in about your feelings?

Blessings....

No, not at all. You.need to do what is right for you. Tell then. Your hotel plan and Don't let anyone talk you into anything. Tell them you are stressed and not to come. Tell them to come when he is better.

No, you do not need a lot of company. You need to be able to focus on your husband. One other suggestion that I would make--Make a CARINGBRIDGE page - it's free and it would let you update his medical condition at your convenience and tell everyone the same thing at the same time. It must be hard to keep all of those relatives up to date on what is going on with the surgeries and the recoveries. You can control who has access to the page. This should also be a way to take some of the burden off of dealing with all of those people. ((When you make an update, it sends them an email with a link to the site. Good luck with the surgery.