Am I the Only One? - Hammond,IN

I have an 8 year old daughter that does the same kind of things. A big part of it is she over thinks things. I have 3 children and she is the only one like this so it has been a challenge.

While what he is telling you may be frightening to hear, please DEFINITELY take comfort in the fact that he actually wants to share these thoughts with you. He is reaching out to you...this is his way of asking for help. Please make sure that you are reinforcing that him coming to you with his concerns is absolutely the right thing to do and that you will always be there to listen and help when and where you can.

Next, you might wish to set up a private conference with both his teacher and the school social worker. This should be an information-gathering session. The teacher conference is first. Ask the teacher to share with you some anecdotal information as to how he is at school. How does he do in group work? Is he participating in class? Does he have at least 1-2 friends he can hang with during the day? How do other kids treat him and how does he treat other kids? What is his attitude/outlook when it comes to school - is he excited, ambivalent, annoyed? Just try to get an overall picture of both his academic and social/emotional participation. Then, share with her some of his and your concerns.

Next, you may wish to consult with the school counselor/social worker. Don't worry about the stigma attached to this; these people are professionals who deal with children your age and have likely assisted with issues similar to that of your son's. Share with the social worker the conversations you've had with your son, give the SW some background on your family structure, and share the findings from the conference with the teacher. Have an open mind and see what the SW has to offer.

Just because it is the end of the year DOES NOT mean it is too late! It is highly likely that your kids' school will be more than willing to help.

I am so sorry that you are dealing with this and I can imagine it can be heartbreaking. But right now you are in such a great spot with your kid because he is talking with you - he is reaching out for help. Try to stay positive and tap into any/all resources that may help.

I wish you the best of luck and happier days for your child. Hang in there - it will get better :)

My daughter who is also 8 started coming home with worries that made no sense. It actually started to worry me. She would talk about kids at school and things they would say and it would really upset her. Over spring break she kept talking about who likes who and how they shouldn't be thinking about kissing and just weird stuff that was unexplainable. This one boys name came up several times, so when school got back in session I called her teacher. She moved seats around so they were on opposite sides of the room, and that seemed to help, but they were still sitting by each other in lunch. Well a couple days later this boy got pulled from lunch because he was saying VERY crude things to her and the principal overheard him. After they were seperated in lunch things got much better. She still worries on occasion about things that make no sense, like this morning she came in crying because the word sex kept popping in her mind(that is what that boy was talking about)
I think it is a phase they do go thru, but in my daughters case, and maybe your son's, it was worse because of what was going on at school. It took along time for us to get out of her that this boy was bullying her, but maybe that is what is going on with your son also.
Good luck, and know that you are not alone on this one.

Drive him thru the filthy, nasty parts of the city and point out how nice your neighborhood is. Take him to a soup kitchen and let him serve and clear tables from the homeless so he sees how the other people live. Explain that they are all negative thinkers and can't get themselves up on their feet again and that you don't want that to happen to your son. Point out the beauty of his neighborhood and surroundings and all his parents have done for him. Hopefully he'll snap out of it. Seeing how the underpriveledged live can be a huge eye opener.

Greetings!! I don't mean to scare you but, these sound like warning signs for depression. Be sure you are as open as possible with the new therapist. In the meantime keep the communication lines between you and your son open. Make sure he knows that he can tell you anything and you won't judge him or get angry. The best thing you can do for him is listen. Be on the look out for any signs that may lead to drastic actions. While Asperger's is a common diagnosis for some of the symptoms you've described a child who is bipolar displays many similar characteristics.

It sounds like my 8 year old son. We started having problems probably b before kindergarten but it was his teacher who pointed out some things. which then in turn made us more aware at home- with this I learned some children empathy is not inborn- it has to be taught. fortunately, we have our faith so that helped but we also stopped allowing him to watch the violent video game my husband like to play and stopped any violent video game, movie etc... together as a family we watched things where people helped eachtoher- like extreme makeover. My son always loved animals so I knew he was capable of love- he was tested for autism and ashbergers, which were negative, add was negative we then had an EEG ordered- which was abnormal- in the meantime we tried a counclor at personal growht assoc- not helpful- we then took our son to a dr in schaumberg a neuro-psychhologist who was awesome and dx our son with tourettes- which has many other characteristics- anyway- its been a long and hard journey- we are now seeing a great psychologist- Dr. Bolnic- we now have him enrolled in a social skills class- with dr Gingseng in her office. Dr Bolnick helped us by suggesting that everytime Michael says something negative- make him say 3 things positive- boy that was hard! he still can be pretty negative- but he has come so far! You are a great mom. Keep up the good work in getting him help- drs are also like shoes- some fit and some dont. Good Luck!

HI T.,
My middle son went through this last year (some still this year). Even thing is bad, no fun, and boring when he gets home. I talked to the school and he is fun, engaging and involved with friends at school. My husband and I decided it was just a phase and would let him go on about it. When he was done we would ask him how he could change things to make them better. I'm not sure if it was an attempt to get more attention but after awhile he stopped. Every on and again he will do it but we stick with the "how do you think you can change it".
Hope this helps! Best Wishes.

I agree with M.R. In addition, I can tell you that my oldest had a difficult stretch at 8 years old. He was bothered with nightmares and anxious episodes at bedtime and night especially. He seemed very anxious and worried. We kept talking and also had him examined by the doctor to make sure nothing physical was going on. She recommended counseling if the problems continued. Things did improve on their own.

It's great he is talking about these things!! Try not to overreact to anything he says....no matter how much you are cringing and worrying inside. Part of the whole difficulty for your son is probably his concern that these worries and thoughts make him strange and abnormal and bad. If you can "normalize" his concerns and worries that may help him a lot. (i.e. everyone goes thru times when they worry....they have feelings and thoughts that seem our of place and not shared by others...)

Good luck.

I am only speaking as an outsider. I can suggest that your son needs to be more involved. Meaning that you need to help him understand there is more to life than negativity. And find out where this energy is coming from. Also he could be just doing that to you, mom to get your attention. That could be his way of crying for help!!! Everyone has their own way of doing so. I suggest that you expand his environments.

T.,I feel your pain. That must be such a hard thing to deal with and scsry. To think that your baby has all of this negative energy, feelings bottled up inside.
At leaset he is talking!!!. that is so positive. He is talking. Which means he wants HELP.
Drugs i know are not the solution. They deal with nothing and cause more problems.
I think showing him more and more love is important. Put him in and around more positive people his age, doing more positive and fun things with him, limiting negativity in your home will all help.
He needs a new healthy, inspiring environment.
Most important T. is what he is eating.
Food is the true medicine of the body. Your body will heal or correct anything wrong with it if you give it the right nutrients. SUGAR is a KILLER. WHITE Flour, artificial ingredients, processed foods are as well.
Try changing what you feed him with organice foods. tiny meat and lots of FRUITS and VEGGIES. Wheat or Rice pastas etc. Plenty of H2O. and a good multi-vitamin.
Make him your focus and keep him always around you.
check out this site; drweil.com.
Ask him your question. Dr Weil is a renowed Medical and Holistic Doctor in the country. Reach out to him, I'm sure he will provide you with some solutions and comfort.
I am so happy you are reaching out. It truly does take a Village to Raise a Child.
God Bless
H.