Am I Just Not Paying Attention or What

I don't have this specific issue but since having children, I've noticed some mental deficiencies. With the birth of every child (3), I'm losing stored info. Also, it's probably easy for us to block out noise. Maybe we are doing it & not realizing it. That could be why you're missing parts of conversations. Just a thought.

OMG. Meeee tooooo. I write down everything on little notes, and can never find them again. My calendar is pretty much always blank, because I can't remember to write things there, and when I do, I write appointments in the wrong day. And show up. I can NEVER remember names even worse than before I had kids, and that's sayin' something. Birthdays? FORGET IT.

Had it since I had children. It's a disorder -MDD mommy deficit disorder it also accelerates if you have multiple children, multiple sporting events, parties, iceskating piano lessons and you are working on your own disceratation at the same time as you are working at a mini mart selling coffee and cigarettes in the middle of the night to make ends meet. There appears be no know cure for it. My children just hit the grown up mark. It has thus made a transition into AMDD, aging mommy deficit disorder and my twenty six year old son rather curtly asked me why I asked him the same question three times.
Aging, I told him, aging...but we know the truth, don't we? wink, wink

I also have to write everything down. I have a pocket calendar that I keep in my purse that I write everything down in so I won't forget. Of course, then I have to remember to actually write things down, or I have to remember to actually look in the calendar once in a while...

:-)

What was the question? lol

I have the exact same problem. I think you get to a point where there's so much information that needs to go in, your brain filters out everything that is not immediately important. I have a diary that I carry with me to note down dates, events etc. At work, I enter everything into my Outlook calendar and flag things a week, or days in advance, every day until the event occurs. It means I just can't forget (or I have no excuse! Lol). Just a sighn of the times and information overload. My husband has always been fascinated with the way we can remember every word to a song from 25 years ago, but we can't remember something we were told yesterday. He thinks it's such a waste of brain space!

Yes! Yes yes yes! I call it the 'Mommy Funk'. Half of it is because I'm trying to give my children some attention while multitasking, part of it is lack of sleep, and the other part is just plain ditzyness. Partly due to not speaking to anyone over the age of 6 for the majority of my day. Shoot, even grasping the name for the .. whaddyacallit ... whatsitcalled ... you know ... that thing that heats up the food ... oh yeah, OVEN. Even just losing proper nouns in the middle of my sentence. Sheesh, I'm scatterbrained.

My husband teases me relentlessly about it, but the day that HE goes shopping with both kids - a truly rare occurance - and he forgets something on his list ... I smile at him sweetly and ask "but Sweetie, it was on your list! HOW on earth could you overlook it?"

I unfortunately have no suggestions for you. Other than write lists. I am a list maker. Keeps me on task from day to day. Helps organize the kids' schools, their activities, and my own personal things to do.

Man, I just reread this answer. I sound like a crackpot! =) Good luck, VM!

I call that "mom brain."

I have a new theory on "mom brain" though; perhaps when we have children our bodies are sapped of vital nutrients that our brain needs to work at its optimum.

My attention to detail gets much better when I am diligent with certain supplements - a good "B" complex, an Omega, and some thyroid support like tyrosine.

JMO - this is my personal experience and I'm not a health care provider of any type.

Yep, that's why I write down everything and then forget where I wrote it down..lol

I could not live without sticky tabs. I write things down then stick them on my desk at eye level. When I make a Dr's appt I need to enter it in my calendar right away and set it to send me a reminder 1 and 2 days ahead of the appt.
I think my brain has held a lot of information for a long time, then it gets filled up and some of the info starts falling out my ears. It's just data overload.
As I age, my hearing is fine BUT I have difficulty picking out details if there is a lot of background noise and I have to ask people to repeat what they've said.
The best you can do is to get enough sleep, eat right and get some exercise every day (sometimes hard to do once kids are in the picture) and your mental acuity should bounce back a bit.

Can I just tell you how many times this past year have I sat on the floor crying because I couldn't find my car keys? My medication? My book? Kids' birthdays? All moms know to call me a day before to tell me to show up at the birthday at such a such a place. And I am only 36. So I guess it just gets worse? great. with my memory, I will forget in 5 minutes that it gets worse. :)

I think this is a learning style or how you take in information. It also sounds like you are generalizing it so you can process it and remember what you do, which is more than I do sometimes by the way. Auditory isn't always my strong suit, if I'm nervous it is very hard for me to follow spoken direction. I've also noticed a big drop in my intelligence as far as remembering and such. ARGH! It is frustrating!

For me I call it the "after 45 brain" Everything must be written down, I put notes right in my cell phone (paper notes can get lost-but I always have my cell phone with me) I use the organizer -notes feature and the calendar feature. If the kids bring home something that needs filling out and returning It must be done ASAP before it is lost. Dont be embarrassed to say I need to write this down You have two big jobs and are very busy!

Are you getting good sleep? I just recently heard (or read...hehe...can't remember!) something that said how important sleep is for us to be able to put things into memory. I'm at a stage in life where I don't sleep through the night. I used to be smart! But I think lack of sleep can really take a toll on our brains;-) My mom has the same issue. She is in her 50's and sleeps poorly, and she is similar to you with details.

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I'm with all of you ladies. Although I have always retained information better when I see it in written form than the spoken word. I cannot STAND for someone to "read something to me" (something my husband LOVES to do when he comes across something he finds profound-- and he reads a LOT of non-fiction, so this is not an uncommon thing) because I just can't follow it and absorb it. It is a waste of my time. Just give me the piece of paper you are reading from PLEASE.

BUT, even so, I do find that in conversations, I (much more than I used to) have problems remembering dates of things coming up. So I am very good about writing them down in my planner. The problem I have is that I never look in my planner to see what is going on! I tend to know generally when things are, but when too many "odd" one-time things get added to the mix, I start writing down. I think somehow the act of writing it down helps me though. Because so far I haven't actually missed anything--even without looking in my planner. It does stress me out though. LOL
And I think it DOES Have to do with being a mom. Because up until then, we only have to keep up with ourselves really. But once you're a mom, we have to keep up with all the minute details of other people's lives too. We actually probably are keeping track (mentally, not just on paper) of FAR FAR MORE than we ever did before kids. We just don't "count" it because it seems trivial and irrelevant because of the simple fact that we just DO it. We KNOW when our kid last took medicine. We KNOW when they had shots. We KNOW what time they have to be at ball practice, or school, or which homework assignment they have to turn in in 3rd period tomorrow. We KNOW when their CRCT tests at school are. We KNOW ALL their teacher's names and what their class schedule at school is.. x how every many kids you have! We just KNOW.
But it still makes me feel like I am devalueing frienships when I can't remember that the party is THIS Saturday, not NEXT Saturday. LOL

I have to write everything down since having children. I went from having a photographic memory to having Mommy Memory. Thank nevaeh for technology for calendar reminders and notes.