Am I Doing Something Wrong?

This is completely normal. He is right on the cusp of the separation/stranger anxiety phase and it can lead to a lot of this. Add the teething to it and you have an all around grumpy baby. Hang in there, continue to give lots of love. Does he have a lovey or other comfort object? That might help soothe him when you are away.

Teething causes all kinds of discomfort for little guys. If he starts to run a fever, even a low grade one I would take him to the doctor. CB

You didn't seem to have any reason to suspect your daycare provider. My sister has been a full time single working mother for 14 years and within reason, you have to trust your childcare providers. They are a necessity for single moms.Nine months is definitely when separation anxiety starts to occur. It is a documented phenomenon in a majority of babies. Trust your instincts, hold your baby. It is the right thing to do. Giving your children positive attention will not spoil them, replacing your attention with things may.

B.,
Do whatever it takes to stay home with your baby - that's where your heart is and that's a full-time job.
You'll never regret this decision, even if it means moving to as smaller home, giving up your car, whatever.

If he is teathing, that is very normal, and no you can't spoil them by holding them when they are uncomfortable. Good luck and hang in there.

normally, babies go through a separation anxiety phase around 9-12 months. they are seeing and understanding things more clearly and worry you won't return, etc. my daughter did this at 9 months. she'd been sleeping fine in her crib on her own for several months and then suddenly, she wouldn't sleep alone anymore. it was very difficult. but you have to remember how little and dependent these kiddos are. they're just looking for answers and help. like some other moms said, reassure your son that you'll return and that you'd never leave him etc. this too shall pass!

Part of this is normal, however you might try to do a drop in visit at different times of the day to see how things are going and what is happening, this is for his safty and your piece of mind.

The only advice I can give you is something our pediatrician told us, which is that you can't spoil them at that age! Spending lots of time with him and being affectionate are going to make him feel loved, secure, and confident. Hopefully he is just going through a fussy stage otherwise. Good luck!

Hi B.,
I also have a 10 month old daughter but she just started daycare and she is also suffering from separation anxiety but I figured is because she just started daycare this is her third week. It has been extremely hard for me and I also hold her alot in the evening and play with her every chance I get. I also have a ten yr old son who also went to daycare and that I can remember he did go through this phase as well. However I do remember him getting past it after a couple of months. So just hang in there, that is what I keep telling myself it's just a phase and soon it will be a thing of the past. I wish you the best of Luck!

Maria

He misses you too. You can't spoil a baby. Give him all of the attention and love and affection you can squeeze in. Research shows that it is IMPOSSIBLE to spoil a baby. Getting their needs met through nurturing actually helps them grow up to be more independent. Google: "attachment parenting" and you will read plenty about this. And, yes, he's likely teething too, so he needs extra comforting. Please give it to him and don't withhold!

Sounds like he's starting the first bout of separation anxiety. Its totally normal stage for his cognative development... and he'll go through it several times over the next few years.

Here's a link: http://www.babycenter.com/0_separation-anxiety_145.bc#art...

When does it most commonly occur?
Babies can show signs of separation anxiety as early as 6 or 7 months, but the crisis age for most babies is between 12 to 18 months. Most commonly, separation anxiety strikes when you or your spouse leaves your child to go to work or run an errand. Babies can also experience separation anxiety at night, safely tucked in their cribs with Mom and Dad in the next room.

Hi there! It sounds like normal teething to me. They can really get cranky when those little teeth come in. Aside from that, babies go through so many stages and emotions. As they launch into toddlerhood the stages and emotions only increase:) You are doing a great job. Hang in there, before you know it this will be over and he will be going through something new! Merry Christmas:)

You have gotten some great advise however I am 100% with Marydee. We all tend to blame seperation anxiety or other issues and sometimes it could be the very daycare you so love. Children have a way of letting you know things so do not ignore them and brush them off to childhood issues. For your child to just suddenly change could be a warning. I am not saying something bad is happening at daycare but you never know. Like Marydee stated, there could have been changes made that have affected him. Do not call them and ask them, drop by unannounced. You sometimes may be surprised at what you see. Don't panic but just check it out. It could also be a new child in the daycare. I know my grandson changed with his daycare and it turned out to be a new child that would bite everyone and he seemed to bite my grandson the most for some reason. It turned out that this continued so much and he would come home with a bite mark here and there and the daycare basically did nothing with the other child so we had to pull my grandson out of that daycare and put him in another where he is thriving and doing so well and the strange behavior stopped immediately. He is happy and well. Check it out for you own sake as well as your child's.

My 9 month old is going through the same thing and I'm a SAHM. So, most likely it is separation anxiety. But my baby also had an ear infection too. She did not have a fever or any of the usual signs. I had the DR take a peek when I was in with another child an sure enough she had an infection.

You sound like you feel guilty about being away from him and then overcompensating when you see him. You may also be passing this anxiety on to him. Your child then gets use to it and the care givers at the daycare are unable to give him the same level of affection/attention due to the other kids they watch, so the child then gets upset and cranky. I would suggest that you do what I did... I was also a stay at home mom and then went to work. It is almost impossible, but I was as leveled as possible, not too much affection, not too little. It's all about balance. Don't worry, your son will know you love him. Remember, that we are trying to raise some independent people and it is hard to not smother them with kisses every five minutes. Good Luck!!!

Perhaps on your lunch break, you should just drop in and see how he is responding to his care teacher. They may have made some changes in the class room that has unsettled him. I think parents really should drop by unannounced to check on the care of their kids. What you see when you drop by may not be the same atmosphere when you come to pick them up. See how the other kids are interacting with one another as well as the teacher.

Mary

Hi B.-

I agree with the responses you have already received. I'd also like to add that my children always acted especially cranky when they had ear infections. Mine did not get ear infections often and would never run a fever or tug at their ears so I was left clueless that their ears were hurting. Now with my 3rd I've learned that if he seems cranky for a few days and there is no other noticeable cause I take him to have his ears checked. So far, I've been right every time....

Good Luck,
K.

Your doing fine. Your baby is at the right age for SEPARATION ANXIETY. Every baby goes through it. You just have to encourage him a little more at this age to be independant, and let him know that at the same time mommy will always be there for him. Although, the teething can be a royal pain in the but too.

This can be very normal for teething or any sickness. Also, spoiling a child is giving in to tantrums and not teaching the child to share, etc. As long as you discipline, don't always say yes no matter what, and are teaching good values, you are raising someone up to be a good citizen. You don't want to hold all of the time just because he wants you to only for the fact that he will expect that at daycare and that is not fair to him or the caregiver or you later on. But, holding him a lot, especially when sick, is great for this age. Just don't do it only because he is insisting on it all of the time. You do have to teach him that he doesn't always get his way. There is a fine balance. You have to find that balance for you and your family. You just don't want to be extreme either way.

He's at about the right age for separation anxiety to kick in. Fortunately, since he goes to the same place consistently, it may not last too long. Don't worry about spoiling him - he's still a little young for that. If he is having more cranky days than not, I would make an appointment with the pediatrician. My boys got their first ear infection recently and did nothing to indicate their ears hurt. They were just major little fusspots, which was completely out of character. I felt a little silly making an appointment based on "my children are acting out of character", but it turns out that's not such a bad reason! So it's always better to be safe than sorry, especially when they are pre-verbal.

Hug your kid and tell that you think he fabulous all day long... if it makes the 2 of you feel good. At 3 years old my son is very independent and social... but he still cuddles, kisses, and tells me he loves me dozens of times a day! You are not spoiling him... just loving him!