Advice on Returning to Work

Updated on August 14, 2006
L.H. asks from Aubrey, TX
7 answers

I've been a stay-at-home mom for the past five months since my daughter was born and I'm going back to work on Monday. I would have loved to remain a stay-at-home mom but things just haven't worked out financially as we had hoped and so now I'm returning to the workforce. I got a new job that I'm pretty excited about, however I'm having a hard time getting past the feelings of guilt and worry about leaving my two young daughters in daycare. My oldest daughter who is 2 1/2 years old was previously in an in-home daycare prior to my staying home, but she has loved me staying home with her these past few months. Of course, the baby (5 months old today) has never been in childcare. I have a good childcare situation set up and I feel pretty good about that, but I'm just worried and guilty about leaving my daughters. Does anyone have any advice for how I can make the transition as easy as possible for my daugthers and myself? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

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Thanks to you all for your helpful advice. I really appreciate the support. You all have definitely made the entire process much easier

More Answers

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J.M.

answers from Dallas on

Hi L.,
I know exactly how you are feeling. I am a teacher, although I wish I could stay home, I can't. This time is always hard for me because I have had over 2 months with my daughter (2 1/2 years old) and now I have to go through leaving her all over again. The beginning is hard, but everyday gets a little easier. Just leave work at work, and really concentrate on your girls when you get home. We try to do a My gym class or something special just the two of us, which you could do with your older one. I hope it works out.
J.

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J.C.

answers from Dallas on

Hi L.!
I have been in your shoes. I worked corporate america for 10 yrs. i have an 11 yr old and a 17 month old! Both girls, like you.
The guilt won't go away unfortunately. However, if you are still looking for a way out, I would love to share my home based business opportunity with you.

I am a Regional Vice President with Arbonne international. This is my home based business that has been very successful! I now have a white Mercedes that Arbonne pays for at this level. Also, the average income is $6,700+ per month. I got here in one year working part time at home. Pretty great, huh? And, this is absolutely not a gimmick. I urge you to research Arbonne. Arbonne is a very stable, debt free, 26 year old company.

There is a link in my signature (below) that will give you more detailed information on the amazing opportunity with Arbonne. We are the fastest growing direct sales company 4 yrs running from the Direct Selling Association.

We have the most amazing products on the market. It has dramatically improved my hair, skin and body.

Please take a moment to check us out! This is absolutely the best time, Arbonne still isn�t a household name, even with all of the phenomenal growth.


The best part is-NO HOME PARTIES. You can, of course, do these if you want to. However, we have found that our business works best with one on one appointments!

L., I truly want to help you be able to stay at home with your daughters. I am having an opportunity meeting here at my home tomorrow night, August 8th at 8 pm. If you are still looking for a way out, please reply and I will get you more information and we can set up a time to chat�

You can do this part time!! Most of my team works full time and will be leaving their jobs very soon!

Sincerely,

J.

J. C.

Regional Vice President, Arbonne International

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Listen and find out why Arbonne is the business opportunity of a Lifetime...

http://www.arbonne.com/company/sizzle.asp

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.K.

answers from Dallas on

You should never feel guilty about going back to work. You are not doing it because you want to, rather, because you have to. I'll bet you'd feel a lot more guilty if you didn't do the responsible thing and your children suffered for it. They may not understand it now, but they will respect you for it later. Besides, maybe it won't be for long. Or, you may end up later finding an ideal working situation that will allow you to be at home with them in the afternoons after they start school. God has always provided these opportunities for us, if we ask Him and have faith.

Just think of all you will be able to do for them financially, now that you are back at work. I'll bet there are times when a SAHM feels guilt about not being able to do or afford some things for their family. You see, both sides have their pros and cons.

Just keep reminding yourself that you ARE doing what's best for your children at the moment and they are in good (GOD's) hands.

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M.B.

answers from Dallas on

Going back to work part-time and transitioning to full time worked very well for me - I did this just over a 4-5 month period. However, it gave everyone a chance to get used to the new routine. I was also breastfeeding (a baby that refused a bottle or cup), so it allowed us to continue that more easily and once I was back fulltime, he was already on some solids. In terms of my job, I sat down ahead of time with my boss and explained why I wanted to do it this way - I was also returning 2 mos early as I had originally said I would be off 6 mos. I also made the effort to show up for staff meetings at 9am on Friday mornings and gradually lengthened my days in the office from a few hours to fulltime. And, as others have suggested, not worrying about the house and keeping meals, allowing you to focus the end of the day on time with your kids really does help compensate for that time away. I honestly didn't reach a point where separation from my kids was at all easy until they were well into elementary school, but you do adjust and you need to consider the advantages your kids will have in terms of socialization - my kids are fanastic in any new situation and make friends very easily. Since I am not a social bee, I don't think they would have had near the social interactions had I chosen to not work.

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M.M.

answers from Dallas on

The best advice I ever got about going back to work was to give yourself 6 weeks to not do anything after work. Don't worry about cleaning, cooking dinner, etc. - just come home and enjoy the kids. You can eat sandwiches, or something like that - but the most important thing is going to be getting in that quality time when you are home.

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T.T.

answers from Dallas on

L.

Bless your heart.
I wish I could give you great advice to make it a wonderful experience or tell you the perfect way to handle it but I don't think that exsists. I can tell you, as hard as it will be at first for you, your husband, and your wonderful daughters it will get easier. Your 2 1/2 year old will break your heart but maybe you can use her as your big helper with sister while your working. I don't think the guilt ever really goes away, but the tears are less often and after they establish routine it may make it a little easier. I wish you all the best, you seem like a very positive person I believe that will help you.
Many Blessings, T.

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N.P.

answers from Dallas on

L., I know just how you feel. I remember leaving my daughter in daycare to drive to work and crying all the way to work many days. Now I work from home and homeschool my 3 daughters. It's hard to believe, but I earn double what I was earning before. I would love to talk with you to tell you how I did it. We could see if this is right for you. Let me know! N. ###-###-#### ____@____.com

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