Advice, Encouragement, or Experience for Pregnant Sis

I wish someone would of told me that I'm stronger that I truly believe. I learned that with my second and opted to not use pain meds and it was the best decision for me and my son I could of ever made.

Also I which someone would of pushed me to breastfeed my oldest, my hubby thought it was gross so I didnt. That being said I didnt with my youngest either but did try after about 3 wks because I wanted to and it didnt work. I missed that connectiong I could of had.

GET THE EPIDURAL! It was the best feeling in my whole life!!!! Be prepared for the "baby blues" and be very aware if it is turning into PPD, get help from your doctor right away if it is, don't suffer! Accept ANY offers of help from family and friends! I know it is human nature to decline when someone offers to help but you will need all the help you can get. Most of all, remember: it WILL get better! My daughter is 2 years old now and she is so much fun but when they are tiny and dependant on you for everything it is hell - there is no other way to put it.

Three points.
1) it's great to have a birth plan, but also be open to going with the flow. Some who aim for natural wind up having medical intervention, and others who wanted pain meds (like below) have it wear off and must endure the pain. It's not a time for "failure" or having some picture perfect experience, getting the baby out safely is the name of the game.
2) Having a newborn is harder than most people talk about, I've had many shocked friends who said "why didn't anyone tell me?!" You will live on Planet Baby, it will feel foreign, you will be confused and sleep-deprived, your hormones will go psycho, and it's possible that breastfeeding will be a challenge. Try to remind yourself that it will get easier with each passing day, you'll learn the language, your hormones will settle in eventually, but you need to take care of yourself as best you can. Nap, drink tons of water, and ask for help when you can and need to.
3) Trust your instincts. You will hear, read, and see TONS of different opinions and theories on everything from diapers to formula. Take lots of deep breaths, fight the feeling that there is ONE right answer, and listen to yourself (and your partner). Only one person is the mother of your child.

That really truly the doctors have seen it all...vomitting, pooping on the table, passing gas during delivery, legs that haven't seen a razor in months. I was so worried about embarrassing myself. In the end though, they just don't care. All they are concerned about is a healthy delivery. THe rest is just part of the experience for some people.

Don't listen to all the horror stories. Everyone was always telling me how painfull labor was, and the nurse told me to prepare for about2 hrs of pushing since it was my first time. My epidural wore off two hours before I delievered but the pain really wasnt that bad, and I pushed for only 10 minutes

I wish someone had told me, when I was in labor with my first, DON'T FIGHT THE CONTRACTIONS. The feeling of "real" contractions was so shockingly painful and unfamiliar. No amount of preparation could have let me know what it really felt like. But I wish I had known to just accept the contractions as a necessary and good thing to get the baby OUT. With my second baby, I just let the contractions happen. I let them wash over me like a wave, and repeated over and over to myself that "The contraction will be over in a minute. Just let it happen." My husband was positioned at my feet and gave me the most wonderful foot massage during the labor with my daughter. Once I accepted the pain and owned it, the whole process was so much easier. I wish I had known that going in the first time.

I did vomit @ home after my bloody show.My hubby finally told me I did poop during labor.You know when your in true labor.Sleep never felt so good after being wide awake for hrs on end & still able to function.

Get her the book "a girlfriends guide to pregnancy" it's a humor filled evaluation of all things related to pregnancy, childbirth, nursing, etc. Bottom line is that as much as we read and plan and research it's always unique to the mom and the pregnancy.

My biggest advice? Keep a sense of humor, be willing to laugh at yourself/giggle about surprising stuff (like the stretch marks I didn't think I had because I couldn't see them under my baby-belly until I was naked near a full-length mirror!!!), be flexible in your approach to stuff and don't expect all the stuff in the books and classes will happen to you the way it says. It's all so unpredictable. And make sure you take a childbirth class - knowledge is power!

I wish someone had told me that I would have a head of cotton wool for weeks after giving birth. Due to Low Blood Pressure I felt like I was tipsy all the time. Still able to care for my baby but when people spoke to me it was like listening to Charlie Browns teacher. Bah ba bah bahh abh bla bla!!! :-)

You should try this book from http://pregnancyhours.com/naturalbirth. This book is such a wonderful, comprehensive resource! It is one I wish I had had access to when I was pregnant 8 1/2 years ago. Lleaon uses her extensive knowledge of herbal, traditional and ancient remedies to give you a complete guide to helping with every ailment and issue that can arise during pregnancy and preparing for birth. This book will be useful to any woman wanting to naturally deal with the common complaints and issues that arise during pregnancy such as itchy skin, hemorrhoids, edema, melasma, insomnia to name a few. I highly recommend this book for any woman who is expecting!

please tell her to stop watching those baby shows! they are unrealistic and just scare women. and please also don't listen to women tell their horror stories about birth. it's cruel, and it doesn't have to be that way. learn to cope with contractions because whether she gets pain meds or not, there will be a time when she will feel them and needs to know how to deal with them. above all, it will all be ok. no matter what, it is just one day.

Great question! I would say--prepare more for breastfeeding and worry less about labor. Labor and delivery only lasts a day (or two) and the newborn stuff goes on for months. I would say to give breastfeeding a good try and keep an open eye when/if it hurts for the first week or two and be patient with yourself for your milk to come in and for you to get the hang of it. Caring for a newborn is hard work, and there isn't a way to learn it but by experience. Remember: the baby has no idea if you put his/her diaper on backwards and will not remember it if you cut a little skin when you clip those little claws.

That being said--about momma and delivery:
1) remember that YOU are in control of the medications the staff gives you. Talk with the doctor before labor about your options and figure out what combination of intervention--or NOT--will work best for you. With my first, my epidural was so strong that I couldn't feel a thing and my labor slowed a lot. With my second, I asked for a lighter pain med dose of epidural and it worked great! I could feel but was not in pain and I felt much more in control.

2) Contractions do really hurt, but they only last for a minute or so and then you get a break. Remember that "this too shall pass" and then you'll have a beautiful baby!

3) No one told me that my hair would all fall out a couple/three months after the delivery and that was a very unwelcome shock. I felt like a cancer patient and had all these weird baby hairs at my hairline. I invested in many clips and headbands.

4) You always hear about depression, but I was elated after giving birth. I walked around with my head in the clouds for several weeks and felt extreme joy at everything. I was loopy, but it was also wonderful. :)

5) The after-birth shower is so lovely. Bring a soft towel, PJs and whatever bath products make you feel relaxed and happy to the hospital. You'll be glad you did!

Back labor! I had never even heard of it until I was at a check up with my second pregnancy. Had just driven from Key West to MO and got in that morning. (Had to evacuate for a hurricane and my mom had set up the appointment when we had decided to head out.) After the check up, the nurse was talking to me about checking out as I left and I bent forward and rubbed my back as she was walking out of the room and she turned around and asked if my back hurt. I said yes, she told me to get undressed, put on the gown, get on the table and she would send the Dr. back in. He came back and checked to see if I was dilated and sent me straight to the hospital. I thought my back had been hurting from the car ride but turns out I had been in labor the whole time and didn't even know it.
Also, I never took Lamaze classes or anything like that but I did read a book about it and it talked about finding something to focus on...focus through the pain. I did that and the pain was so much less than with my first. Of course I can't remember the name of the book now. (I've had 3, no pain meds, epidurals or episiotomy with any of them.) Best of luck to your sis, and you Auntie Jess!