How Bad Is It Really??!!

Get yourself a copy of the Business of Being Born!
This inspiring and empowering movie will help you to come to grips with the whole birthing process and show you that there are better ways of birthing besides epidurals. http://www.thebusinessofbeingborn.com/

Hi K.,
I had my first (and probably only) child when I was 39 years old, last year. I too was afraid of the whole labor process but a friend of mine gave me the most wonderdul book that put a lot of things into perspective and I ended up having a natural birth without any drugs. I didn't mean to do it this way, as I was prepared to fully engage the anesthesiologist to give me the epidural, but by the time I really needed it, I was 9.5 centimeters and almost ready to push (which by the way, is a totally different feeling. Not really pain, more exursion). Anyway, the book I read was called: HypnoBirthing, the Mongan Method, By Marie Mongan. The book teaches you not to be afraid, and shows you how to relax and accept that birth is a beautiful and natural process. To me, it was like one big menstral cramp and I kept telling myself that over and over. It's not for everyone, but it helped me to deal with the pain issue and the fear, which every new mom has. If you're interested, they have a website:
http://www.hypnobirthing.com/
Good luck!

I actually don't know how bad an epidural is as I had my 8 pound 3 ounce son naturally with only a shot of demerol, which I would skip if I did it over again as it just made me dopey. I had a bit of pitocin as well and delivered him within 8 hours. Yeah, it hurt like mad, but as soon as he was out, the pain was pretty much gone! The thought of a big fat needle into your spine just seems dangerous to me too! From what I have read, an epidural can actually slow delivery down and may have adverse effects on your baby. Our wonderful woman's body is made to deliver babies. You can do it and do it well if you can learn to trust yourself. I know it is a mighty mental shift but our culture has made us distrust our bodies. I took a hypnobirthing class and I and my doctor would highly reccomend it. It is basically visualization and relaxation techniques. Now is a great time to start as you will want the time to practice the techniques. There is another book out there (that I can't put my hands on right now!) that helps you work through your fears and replace them with positive attitudes along with some other relaxation techniques to use during delivery. I'm trying to picture the cover, it is yellow and has an indian woman on it. Another great source is Mothering.com. They have a lot of great, well-researched articles on a wide range of topics. There is one on epidurals and anther one about the medicalization of giving birth.
It's ultimately up to you how you want to birth and nurture your child. You are the only one that knows best. It is a wonderful, life-changing event and it should be filled with joy and expectation, not fear! So maybe research these different avenues and find out what feels right to you. I wish you love and luck on this wonderful journey into motherhood!

hi K.;

i am going to be very frank with you from a sisterly, loving, experienced place, having had TWO natural deliveries with no interventions what so ever. and if i seem a little harsh, please know that i'm only trying to save you the brutality of the wakeup call that i myself had.

You are making a total obsession out of this and you are going to cause yourself major problems if you don't slow down and stop being crazy.

when i was pregnant w my first, i thought i should have a hospital delivery but i didn't want pain meds, because i had learned a little bit about the risks involved. i thought i could find a mid ground between a natural and hospital style delivery; basically there's no such thing, i learned. but it took me 3 different doctors to finally realize what i was in for; the last one of whom told me very frankly that she was in charge, she was the decision maker, and that she would take matters into her own hands depending on circumstances as she saw fit, and that, this probably meant i would have major medical interventions at her discretion. i did not believe, having a healthy, delightful pregnancy well under way, that this would be appropriate.

i probably only knew a little bit more than you know now when i finally understood that the mother is considered a SICK PATIENT in a hospital delivery, a person who is in no way fit to call any shots about what's happening to her own body. K., you need to understand that when you are in a hospital, you are considered sick. they are there to treat you, not help you.

so even though you write "ha ha" and so on every time you indicate your imagined control over what the delivery will be like, i can tell that you really do think you will be able to control it, and you really, really won't. so the first thing to do is to stop trying to plan this. IF you were planning a natural delivery, and you were practicing pain coping techniques, you would actually have much more control over this than you will have with a medical delivery. but you're entitled to your choice. i would urge you, however, to read, at the very least, a book by Jennifer Bloch called "Pushed" which is about the falseness and vagaries and risks of medically managed births, before you get any further into your pregnancy. K., if you want to know what this is going to be like, you need to start educating yourself, and stop trying to imagine it being like television.

the next thing i would say to you is, WHEN you get the epidural is NOT up to you! you can't decide to have it at 3 cm or 10 cm! anyone who told you that you can do this is lying, and if your doctor told you this then your doctor is lying. K., labor can go on for DAYS. i was 3 cm dilated for almost a month with my first pregnancy. epidural placement depends on many components of a medical evaluation of how the birth is progressing, and that is something that a doctor (and not neccessarily YOUR doctor, because when you use a doctor, there is no guarantee that he or she will be available when you go into labor,), and the anesthesiologist, will decide.

the other thing you need to realize is that there IS PAIN IN CHILDBIRTH. there just is. the reality is, we have a human population because women can cope with it. we are set up by nature to give birth. i don't know why you think your body is so different or so incapable, but it isn't. i think it would be much more helpful to you if you stop thinking about what you CAN'T do and START thinking about what you CAN do.

because if you keep going with this pain mania that you have, you are actually going to cause your body to freeze up, your cervix will stop dilating, and then they are going to have to go way beyond a mere epidural to facilitate the birth of your baby; they're going to start giving you really aggressive, really dangerous drugs that could cause major, life threatening complications. what they'll say is that you have "failure to progress" and they'll start treating you for all kinds of complications that they themselves will have caused with excessive medical intervention, causing a downward spiral that could bring about REAL DANGER.

K., i am really not trying to be a contentious b#*&@ here. i am trying to hip you to the fact that you have not educated yourself enough about what is going to happen to your body to be making the kinds of jugements or plans that you want to make. i see that you are clearly a very bright, with-it woman, you just haven't adequately investigated childbirth yet. so i would suggest you do this; make a decision. either decide that you trust your doctor, who is probably a very reasonable, adequate care providor, and LET IT GO, or, start educating yourself now, for real. go now, run do not walk, to the website for REALBIRTH, which is a birth education center in Chelsea, you can google it and find the web site in two seconds, and seriously consider going to thier birth education seminar. then and only then should you be entertaining all these questions and fantasies. but shy of that, i would say, stop obsessing, and start doing some yoga.

i really have said all these things to you with love and compassion. i wish you a safe, healthy, happy birth.

YOU CAN DO IT!

J.

First of all, get the idea that childbirth is painful out of your mind!!!!! It is not painful. I had 4 children naturally without pain. I am not a tree-hugger or a hippie (lol). I am a health professional! Birth is a natural process (like breathing or urinating) that is NOT painful. The reason we hear so many horror stories abot giving birth is because people EXPECT it. By word of mouth or silly television sitcoms, we are brainwashed into BELIEVING that this will be a horrible experience. It is not. Trust me. DON'T listen to this nonsense. Do yourself a favor and check out www.hypnobirthing.com or try to get Marie Mongan's book "Hypnobirthing" and you will be glad you did. Please don't listen to anyone else's responses if they are telling you that this IS a painful experience that you will have to endure!!!!! The more you hear the message that birth=pain, the more "pain" you will experience by the power of suggestion. Relax...you are in for the most wonderful, life-changing experience!

Hi Cat, Congrats to you and your husband on your upcoming event. Have you read up on childbirth? I have had 5 and I believe we are most fearful of what we don't know! Having a baby is what a woman is made for and barring any major compli-cation it should all go well. Learn the breathing techniques and you won't be fighting and tightening against the babies coming out. You will survive as many others have. You will be the mommy and the baby can be the baby:-) Grandma Mary

K.,

Don't assume that you are going to need/have time for an epidural. I went to the hospital because I had a suspected break of waters. By the time I got to the hospital (went on the subway, BTW), I still wasn't in labor and had no pain. I was already 5 or 6 cm dialted without even knowing it!! The doctor said maybe I'd had a high break, but my the lower part of the bag of waters seemed to be intact. She broke it. I started having contractions 10 minutes later and in under an hour, I had a baby! Pushed 2 or 3 times (maybe 10 minutes or so). So... you never know what kind of labor you'll have. The pain is totally bearable. It felt like bad menstrual cramps. That was all-at least for me.

Just know that even if your MIND doesn't know what to do, your BODY does. Just go with the flow. I would seriously consider having a doula. I had one and it was GREAT!!! Write to me offline and I'll be happy to give you her name and number.

E.

this is my opinion. i had my kids who were 6 & 7 lbs. not real big (thank God) el natural. not so bad. id rather do that then get the needle in my spine because you have to go through the labor pains anyway.but you also have to have a good coach that will talk you through it. just my opinion. good luck!

I have not read the other 129 responses...I had two children with Labor less than an hour with both! My secret??? I EXERCISED THE WHOLE PREGNANCY I DID THE STAIR CLIMBER, WALKED, TREADMILL AND KIEGEL TO STRENGHTEN MY LEGS, ABDOMINAL & PELVIC. I WALKED ABOUT 2 MILES PER DAY AND I ALSO DRANKED ABOUT A GALLON OF WATER A DAY! LABOR AND DELIVERY A PIECE OF CAKE! NOT TOO LATE TO GET STARTED!

DON'T LISTEN TO HORROR (LABOR 36 HRS.) STORIES, IT DOES DIFFER FOR EACH WOMAN, HOWEVER IF YOU TRY MY SUGGESTIONS, IT WILL BE A WHOLE LOT EASIER. DO CHECK WITH YOUR DOCTOR ABOUT THE EXERCISING. ALSO YOU CAN DO YOGA! IF DOC SAYS OK, START TOMORROW! KIEGEL START RIGHT NOW, WATER START RIGHT NOW!

KEEP IN TOUCH, AND LET ME KNOW HOW YOU ARE AND HOW LABOR WAS...

____@____.com C.

BEST OF LUCK, OH MY TWO CHILDREN LITERALLY FLEW OUT (MUST HAVE BEEN ALL THE WATER): LOL... I WENT TO THE HOSPITAL @ 6PM WITH MY SON, HE WAS BORN @7.30PM, AND WITH MY DAUGHTER WE GOT THERE AT 7PM, AND SHE WAS BORN AT 8.30PM.

If you're totally commited to the epidural, then best of luck, I've never had one, so I wouldn't know. But as a mom of three who used so-called 'natural childbirth', I highly recommend that you just read the book "Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way" - it will make you feel totally empowered and much less afraid, even if you do choose an epidural. It is about utterly relaxing and being in the proper position to totally get out of the way of the work your uterus is doing to open the cervix - so your other muscles are not working against the uterus' progress, and the cervix can open in as little time as possible. When you don't work against the uterus, it's WAAAY less painful - more like a strenuous workout than pain. Definitely no "writhing in pain" - more like relaxing as hard as you can. Trust me - this works - I am not someone who can be distracted away from pain, but Bradley gave me something else to focus on. Even if you do choose an epidural, it would help you to relax and make it through the early stages with MUCH less worry!

I know exactly what you are talking about. I asked the nurse to call for the epidural almost as soon as I was checked in. I asked him not to show me the needle, and he didn't. I sat on the edge of the bed hunched over a pillow. after a little feeling around, I felt a large pinch in my back followed by a tingly sensation. It lasted for about 15 seconds, and it was all over. It was uncomfortable at first, but not as uncomfortable as it would be without it. With my second, the contractions started faster, and I was having hard contractions before they could make it up with the epidural. I was extremely grateful for the relief. Don't worry about the pain of the epidural. It only lasts for a second, and is much better than the alternative. If you want to chat more, feel free to email me.

Good Luck,
C. Thomson

Hi K.. Well, I did not have any medication at all for any of my three children, and I considered myself to be an A-class whimp! Believe me it isn't as bad as they make it out to be in the movies! There is a lot of over acting going on there. As far as the epidural pain, I don't believe it is all that bad as I had one when I had my tubes tied after #3. Mostly it's a pressure and some pinching feelings, but it's not really that bad. The needle isn't drill size either! LOL It's actually quite small and if you want they can show it to you before they insert it. You will be just fine! Just the first of many "pains" of being a mother. My kids are now 14, 12 and 11. Blessings to you!

OK, funny story: My friend had this positive vision of the birth of her daughter. But - she forgot to envision the afterbirth and after having a beautiful natural birth at home with a midwife, the afterbirth wouldn't budge! She had to give birth to the afterbirth at the hospital! How crazy!

Back to the topic. I had three natural childbirths and now have three wonderful empowering experiences to remember. No one but me got those kids out. No drugs, no forceps, no vacuums, no scheduled Dr. Yes, every birth is different, every woman is different, be prepared to be flexible. I was lucky that I thought positively, I envisioned a healthy birth, parts 1, 2, and 3, and I let my body do what it was BORN to do. Take it easy on yourself and trust your body. If you have time, please check out the book, Birthing From Within: An Extra-Ordinary Guide to Childbirth Preparation. Personally, I like to feel empowered, to feel that I can do this, and like I said, I am lucky to have lived out three times my positive plan for birth. I wish you the best of luck.

C. R.

K.,

I told myself I wanted to TRY to hold off, but when I got to the hospital (~2 hours into contractions) and was 5cm, the contractions were becoming to strong.

My nurse was new and kept asking questions and talking to me and I wanted to concentrate on OTHER things. Maybe 15 mintues of dealing with her and the low hard contractions that kept coming at me and I'd had enough! I asked for an epidural. The nurse went somewhere to get the guy who does this. Ten minutes later she informs me that it will be another 45 minutes until he will be here! GREAT. I hold my husband in a bear hug and try the "slow dance," I try kneeling, I try squats, I try all sorts of things to stay somewhat comfortable.

Finally the epidural guy comes in. My hospital tells the husband to leave and my husband does (he actually went out to call his mother in tears because of seeing the pain I was in). No one checked me to see how far along I've progressed, but while I'm having contraction after contraction the epidural man keeps telling me how I have to hold my back this way and sit VERY still - even through my contractions. Seconds before I had the shot, I had to puke from the contractions. The epidural guy tells me he can't give this to me if I'm not still enough. I snap at him, "I"M TRYING!" The nurse holds my hands and I finally get into the right position for him. He gives it to me... little bee sting...long pinch... and that's it.

What seems like only a minute maybe two later, the world is good again. The pain is gone! I'm not sure how close to delivering I was but the nurse tells me I can relax... even take a little nap if I want! My husband came back up... hours later (I think I snoozed), my OB/GYN arrives, looks at the progress and tells me we're ready to start pushing.

It took me a little while to find my contractions again, as the epidural had dulled them to the point where I could see them reading on the monitor I was hooked to and could feel a slight tightening type sensation.

Twenty minutes of pushing later I had my son. (Whole process ~7 hours) Calling my mom at 11PM on April Fool's day/night to tell her my water just broke and I'm going to the hospital - priceless! Epidural - magical!

Best of luck to you K.! Can't wait to hear your story as well!

I have 5 kids and never had an epidural. They didn't have them back then! Sure childbirth hurts! It hurts like heck! But if it was that bad, no woman would ever have a second baby! And the minute you see that little baby and hold it in your arms you will forget all the pain you had to endure! Especially the little prick of a needle that takes the pain away! Don't sweat the small stuff!

If they give you pitocin because your labor isn't progressing, it will hurt really bad. You may be able to avoid this by having a bottle of black cohosh and one of blue cohosh ready in case your labor doesn't progress. Take one, then 30 minutes, the other, and repeat a few times if necessary. Black cohosh has been used safely for generations and brings labor on; blue relaxes you a bit so the black doesn't make your contractions too much for you.

Oh, and check out spinningbabies.com- another huge asset to go into labor with is a baby in optimal position to come out. You can help your baby find that position. Poor positioning is another leading factor in "failure to progress" that then leads to the mammoth contractions of pitocin.

My births- 1st: after 36 hours I couldn't get passed 7 cm, so I had pitocin/epidural and that took 8 more hours.
2nd: my water broke and nothing happened for 6 hours- no contractions or pain. I took those herbs and within 2.5 my baby was born. And it wasn't incredibly painful (probably because I had no idea I was so close to giving birth and was very relaxed, being at home).

The idea that the epidural means less pain can be misleading- because I think it makes you more likely to tear and THAT is what really HURTS- for WEEKS! You can't sit right, it hurts to move, climb stairs, and forget about sex! After an hour of blood vessel popping pushing where I couldn't "feel" a whole lot and had people watching a screen and commanding me "PUSH!" while I was on my back, I tore, as many of my friends who give birth this way have as well. Yes, tearing naturally is generally better than having an episiotomy, but it still hurts- and hurts for a lot longer than a natural labor hurts!

The nice thing about my second birth was being able to be in any position that was comfortable (and being vertical, walking around freely makes labor quick and helps the baby slide out your pelvis, but you can't do that with an epidural), and I didn't push at all, my body naturally "bore down" when the baby was coming, which really helped with not tearing. Pushing hard flat on your back seems like a recipe for a tear. But if you've decided you want to do it that way, make sure you have the nurses keeping warm wet compressess on your perineum and 6 weeks before you're due massage your periuneum with oils to get your skin very flexible. That will help a little. I can honestly say that my epidural birth was more painful than my natural birth.

In the end, fear is the biggest pain inducer of all. The less afraid you are, the less painful it will be. There are a couple sets of muscles in your uterus, and when the inner ones contract and it feels uncomfortable, emotional/mental anxiety over this causes the outer ones to tense up. So, then the two sets are fighting each other and there is more tension, or pain, and its a downward spiral from there. If you are afraid, please read some very positive birthing stories by women who are comfortable with birth and in tune with their bodies. You might end up anticipating it more if you can picture it positively and with an empowered mindset- worked for me my second time, and I can't wait to have my 3rd!

Hi Mom,

glad to see you know what you want.

Few clarifications tho,

You could be dialated to and at 3cm for weeks before labor begins. you just make sure to speak up and say , I WILL NEED AN EPIDURAL So please mnake sure you understand, I DON"T want any pain.

Tell your hubby this is your plan and make sure he knows in advance what you want, and that he will speak up. IF NOT then have your mom, sister, friend be there aswell.

Eg. During my first delivery my X and my mom were there,
My x fainted and had to leave the room for a few. NOR was he able to comfortably argue witht he hospital staff for my needs. Fortunately my MOther was also there, and when I wass told NO I could not have pain meds i was too far along, SHE literally pitched a fit, til they agreed to give me a little adrenaline. Which did help.

During my first delivery i had 3 days of labor that didnt really hurt all that much, my water was still intact, and it was 3 days till my due date.

I was seen by the doctor and she said that i didn't know what i was talking about, and i was actually only experiencing braxton hick, that i should go home and have a glass of wine and relax,( Of course I said NO THANKS I AM PREGNANT AND I DON"T DRINK) needless to say i was certain the baby was coming, So i just relaxed, ( it was like rough menstral cramps at that point and I kept feeling the need to poo })

Anyways I have a very hi tolerance for pain.

So i was able to sleep thru the cramps ( occasionally waking up) for 3 days
on the 3rd day, I woke and i knew I was REALLY READY,
And my X asked if he should go to work, I said NO, and some how he heard YES and freaked out, started telling his mom i was gonna have this baby in the house.ect..

I stood up and called down the stairs to him, but he could not hear the words i was saying, he was too freaked out.

I walked to the bathroom and peed
then sat down again, and the contractions were very intense but not really painful,

I went to the bathroom again and pood and peed again.

then I sat down and i felt and kinda heard this POP and felt the urge to pee again,

Needless to say this was the water breaking
( Fool that i was I had no idea, and was in denial that it was my water breaking, of course thinking back I must have subconsciencely known, )

Because at that point i called to my X and told him it was time to get ot the hospital NOW

I was really hurting now, and every little bump in the road was killing me,

I managed to walk up the stairs to the delivery rooms,
and wait patiently, as labor quickly increased

they gave me my room and asked me to change but i kept feeling the need to poo, after the second poop in the hospital they freaked out saying i would have this baby in the toilet, ( I virulently informed them that i would cover my vagina so he wouldn't fall out) they wouldn't give me the privacy so i couldn't go and therefore could not relax )

Any how, I lay down, and then the real pain started,I had sent my X to go get my mom and sister.
So my X's sister was in a chair next to me, And por thing
must have thought i was losing my mind,

I screamed at the top of my lungs in agony, and then after the contraction passed,i was ok, so i tried to reassure her i was OK , saying its ok I am fine, and then SCREAM, and then I am ok don't worry, then SCream.LOL it was comedic almost.

of course not at the time LOL

Just before the baby was ready to deliver i felt nauseous, and felt i might puke.

And then out comes the baby.

Pushing is alot like POoping out a constipated poo.

-------

Second baby, ALOT easier,
but still Chaos encrusted.

10 years later, I am older to say the least, but remarried and we had just bought our home, in CT.
I had been Commuting back and forth to NY for work, and my older childs school .And my OB/GYN

So I go to bed on Friday night and wake at about 1AM
My husband was still awake, using the computer.
And i look outside and there was an Ice storm,

I go back to sleep or try anyways to rest,

And at 7Am, I feel the pain increase. And i figure he has had enough rest, I will try and wake him,

I say Honey , its time, HE keeps sleeping, so i nudge him and say , HONEY COME ON WAKE UP, I need to go to the hospital,
he says what for, i say the baby is coming,
he continues to sleep.

So I get up feeling now nervous, and try and wake my 10 year old son, I say BABY , you need to get up, he says leave me alone, So i say BABY, you have to get up, mommy has to go to the hospital, he says I don't want to go to the doctors, I say NO MOMMY IS HAVING THE BABY wake up,
he keeps sleeping,

So at this point i am worrying because there is snow up to my knees, the roads are a wreck, And i still need to Drive an hour to my OB/GYN. ( worst case scenario I go to the local hospital but i really wanted my Doc's)

So I sit in the glider chair, and rock for about 30 minutes
and i really start feeling pains, and start to cry,

My husband finally wakes up, and asks why i am crying, and I say BECAUSE I AM IN LABOR. And he says it hurts that bad, and I said OF COURSE.

So my son wakes up aswell, and We all get ready to go,
On the way out the door,

my husband says be careful its slippery
So I try to be careful, And i slipped like a cartoon character, with my legs in the air, into the snow, and it was painful, but NOT more painful then my contractions.

So we are on the way to the hospital and i start to relax,
And we start calling everyone,
As the snow is falling and visibility was minimal,

We Drop my son off at my sisters, and head to the hospital,

Of course they say YEP your almost there, and BREAK my water.

The pain was very intense after that, but I was ok without a pain killer, My sister, Best friend and husband were in the room, And I felt the puke feeling, and then I knew the baby was coming, and in 3 more pushes out came the baby. everyone was crying,it was so wonderful.

And the following day I found out i FRACTURED my tailbone in the fall.

----

3rd delivery they gave me pitocin to speed up the delivery,
( horrible stuff) So i was older then and tired, and asked for the epidural, which didn't really work at first,
so they increased it, but it just wasn't working, and then finally they adjusted something and it worked, which was GREAT. I pushed 2times and out came the baby,

All the other deliveries I felt like i had been in a football game without any padding and protection, every muscle in my body had been sore,

with the epidural, I was perfectly fine. felt great.

no pain nothing.

The only thing i did have was Depression, but it could have been a number of things my husbands parents were visiting giving me a hard time, and I could not relax and rest in peace.

And as soon as they left so did the depression.

I have thought about that and I thought 2 things that it could have been the family issues like the added stress of my inlaws, and the 2 extra kids, and my husband whom worked 12 hours a day,After the delievery i felt so good i left the hospital a day early because my child was very sick with a rotovirus, or it could have been that experiencing the pain FORCES you to rest and relax afterwards.
You are too sore and tired to do anything else.
its like your bodies natural way of protecting you.

With the epidural, you feel great afterwards, and maybe too great, so you over do it,

Either way i really suggest go for the epidural, its SOOOO much easier, i don't know why you would do it any other way, I have done it both ways.

Good luck

M

PS wanted to give you an idea of what DELIVERY feels like,
You know those HIstorical Spiked balls on a Chain and stick,
it feels like some on is trying to rip one of those out of your body.

the second time doesn't hurt nearly as much.

K.,

It will be up to the hospital how soon you can get the epidural. Some won't give it until you are farther along because they don't want it to slow down progress.

I had all 3 c-sections but with my first, I was in full blown labor so I had an epidural. I barely remember it because I was in so much pain, I was just happy to not feel it anymore. With my last 2, I wasn't in labor at all and got spinals. The trick is to hold still no matter what. The worst part for me is the numbing stuff which goes just below the skin. The spinal itself isn't that bad. You might feel a bit of discomfort but again, the main thing to focus on is to hold still.

You'll be ok! I am a big baby when it comes to needles but just keep focusing on how quickly the discomfort will be over with it.

Hugs and congrats!

L.

Your post has been cracking up! No lie - IT SUCKS...my son is a year old and its a bit of a blur, but I think I got my epi around 4, 5 or 6 cm's. I took some pain meds before that though and they were FUN!!!! only lasted an hour though. Then the epi...I remember squeezing the hell of my nurse - I think b/c the meds burned while going in...more so than the needle. Its quick though and at that point you pretty much don't care whats happening to you. I can remember my IV needle being worse than anything!!!! Those needles are big!!! and its stuck in your hand so you feel everytime you move (sorry to break that to you) ; ) Its not your NORMAL IV needle! and thats even after I wound up having a C section b/c I NEVER progressed passed 6 cm's - (It was a LONNGGGG night!!!) One thing I can say is after a while all the bad stuff becomes a distant memory...Good luck!!

Not bad at all!!! First off, at 3cms, even 4cms you shouldn't be writhing in that much pain - you know at that point that the epidural is going to make it all a much more pleasurable experience (and it really does) so I think you just get over the fear and you deal with any contractions/cramping that happen. You are going to be fine. Just take a lot of breaths (I found that focusing on my breath helped a lot!). You will be fine. It's seriously exciting and you get over fears when you know your baby is on the way. I would recommend you take a lamaze class too - not for the lamaze techniques necessarily since your plan is to have an epidural, but for the sake of feeling a little more prepared for the experience. I found it helpful since I was terrified too of the experience. Good luck!

Don't worry about it. In my experience (nine months ago) it was no big deal - maybe a slight pinch and you won't be able to see the needle anyway. My recollection of that part is a little fuzzy because I think it was such a minor part of the whole experience. When the time comes you're going to be so excited about meeting your baby that the epidural will seem like no big deal. Just relax and enjoy what's left of your pre-baby indulgence time (sleeping in, long dinners with your husband, reading a novel)! Good luck!

Congratulation on your upcoming arrival. Birth is an awesome experience and the important thing is to have a healthy baby at the end of it whether it is via a C-section in an sterile hospital room or through the most natural of births at home with chirping births in the background and natural oils rubbed in your tummy.
I've had 3 kids 2 without epidural: for the first one I wanted to do "all the right things" when at 9.cm I realized that the right thing was to avoid the pain it was too late, for the second one I only got to the hospital at 8 cm and again missed the window, and for the third one I went to the hospital as soon as I began having labor pains and requested an epidural. As I remember the epidural is not any worse than getting novocaine when you get a filling, which compared to the pain of labor is a walk in the park. All my kids were alert at birth, got 9s in the Apgar score, started nursing right away and have been very healthy. I also could push without any problem. So, if you don't like pain do not be afraid of the epidural, it is somewhat uncomfortable, but it doesn't even compare to labor pains. Do not let anybody tell you that you are somewhat damaging your baby. Good luck!

You know, I don't even remember getting my epidural! I remember how great I felt AFTER I got it...seriously! The irony is that I wanted a natural childbirth with no medications. Then, they gave me pitocin to speed things up. It became so uncomfortable within a matter of 2 hours that I couldn't take it. After the epidural, I had the entire family in my room for board games until it was time to push. :) Good luck!!!

K.,
If you can give blood than you can get an epidural. It is not bad at all!! The most uncomfortable part, believe it or not is a little burning once the fluid starts to go in and thats it, I promise. Get it as early as you can. I never understood these women who think that there is a medal ceremony after the birth if they waited or even have natural child birth. Make yourself as comfortable as possible ASAP. And stop anticipating it, you're gonna work yourself up for NOTHING! Good luck to you...it's the best thing that you'll ever do in your lifetime. : )

Hi K.,

To be honest I don't remember any discomfort or pain from the epidural being put in. I was too focused on not moving and that it would take my pain away. I had planned to use the bath tub to start but I discovered I was more of a wimp than I thought when it came down to real labor. I tried Stadol (not sure about spelling) but that only lasted a little and it made my head spin. Once I got the epidural I was SO MUCH BETTER!!! I ended up with a c-section and was awake for the whole thing since I have the epidural. As someone once said to me recently (I am expecting again and was deciding again what to do) and she reminded me that no woman gets a plaque or award for party for going natural. So do what works for you! Good luck!

Hi K.. You're a funny lady. :)

I had the epidural once with my first son...with my second we missed the window, but they only understood that AFTER sticking me. Was not fun. But I'm alive and have a story to tell. :)

I'm not gonna lie to you...it was scary knowing what they were about to do. When I got it with my first son I was freaking out cause I was already in pain and it was hard to stay still. The anastesiologist (sp?) had a thick accent and he says, don't worry miss...i just read the manual before coming in here. That lightened the mood...my husband thought it was hysterical. ha. And of course, the obvious is that birth being much more enjoyable.

Congrats!!! Hope it all goes well. When it's all said and done, would you please update us on your experience!!!!!! :)

L.

P.S. when I was pregnant with my first I read and read and read everything about pregnancy and birth, etc. I kind of didn't read as much about what to do when he was born and felt a little lost. ha. Anyway...just a little encouragement to spend some time reading books about nursing (if you're going that route), and sleep routines, etc.

I had an epidural for both of my deliveries (in fact I was induced both times so I got the epidural before I even went into labor - still don't know what child labor feels like and that is quite fine for me). I am a HUGE chicken and have a completely irrational fear of needles. I found that getting the epidural was very easy and painless. There is a little stick when they numb your back, but that's it. You can feel pressure when they put the needle in, which freaked me out, but didn't hurt. One epidural was better than the other, but both were great for me and for my wonderful delivery.

I can't stress enough how much of a wimp I am - you'll do great! Good luck

Do you have your ears pierced? Or how about all the blood they took at the beginning of your pregnancy....Do not worry, the thought of it is worse than it really is....good luck.

ok I have to say that it was the scariest part of the whole ordeal. I was the same as you thinking I didnt' want to miss the window of opportunity to get it. I got mine at 4 cm. But I had waited and already been in labor for 5 hrs. Complete truth here (and I HATE needles) it did NOT hurt. I felt an insane amount of pressure but no pain. Don't be worried mama to be. You will do just fine. You def. want to get it in the beginning so that the pain isnt' too bad cause you can't move! Good luck! I am 7 mths now with my 2nd and I still have the butterflys about going through it again....but when you go into labor and it happens you just get this calm over you and you know what you have to do. It will be one of the greatest expierence of your life. Treasure it!

First let me say that I had one for 2 out of 3 births, and I used to hold patients for spinals in the operating room. The pain of your contractions is far greater than the epidural. The epidural is a big pinch and then just some pressure. It is over pretty quickly. If you really curl your self over like an arched halloween cat when they tell you to lean over, it will really help because it opens up the spaces in the spine where the epidural goes. Also let out a big breath to relax you as he is cleaning the spot on your back. It goes something like this....The anesthesiologist will lean you over and press with his fingers on your back, then he will place a paper drape around the spot. He will clean the back with really cold liquid, betadine I think. Then he will ask you to arch and breath. You will feel a pinch, then pressure and then the miracle of the medicine does its job!!!!!! For me, it was the most wonderful pain relief that I had. Good luck, relax and you won't even remember it when your miracle arrives. C.

Hi, K.. The doctor's originally told me that they might not be able to give me an epidural because of an allergy to Novicaine. I did wind up having one with a different kind of drug called an Amide. I could not withstand the pain at 5cm. To be honest, the needle does not hurt at all. I was so thankful to have the opportunity to get some relief that you do not even think about the fact the the epidural is even there. Don't be afraid to ask for it. When I saw the Ob/Gyn at 5 cm, I asked her for it and she told me that it was fine.

Good luck. I was over 40 when my first was born. I could not ask for a better blessing. She's wonderful. I don't sleep, but she's still wonderful.

K.,
I too am a big chicken when it comes to pain (stub my toe and I will cry).

So I didn't have an epi, though I asked my OB if I could have one at 8 months! :-D The only reason I didn't get one was 'cause I ended up having to have c-section but they gave me a spinal block. Same idea, big needle about the size of someone's arm into spine. Hello, scary! But like everyone else says, it was a pinch (think bee sting) and pressure then bring on the numbness. I also had an awesome nurse that held my hands and made jokes to distract me.

Now that my daughter is approaching her "terrific" 2's I wish I could have an epidural! :-)

Best of luck. Hang in there. Only a matter of time before your beautiful child is here.

(((HUGS)))
Kristal

K.,
First don't fret. Yes, giving birth is painful, but having said that, it's all part of the process that until you are there, you can't know how wonderful, and awesome it is.
The epidural if you choose it (and I did with open arms) you won't even remember. Again, I chose it as part of the process. When my doctor suggested it might be time, I said " find him and get him in here".
The miracle of birth is just that. You are about to embark on a fantastic journey.
Enjoy it and talk it out if you need to. But when it is time, remember women have bee doing this since the beginning of time. Welcome to the "club".
D.

Hi K.,
You'll be fine. Trust me, I'm deathly afraid of needles. When they took my blood in the begining of my pregnancy, I would almost cry but once it was done I was fine. I had and Epidural at about 1cm b/c my doctor broke my water and it was fine. It didn't hurt, just felt weird. But, the reason for you having to be really still is so they can get it right in between... You don't want to mess around with your spine. Honestly, that happens so quickly you don't even remember why you were afraid. Good luck and Congrats! L. D.

K.,
It is all relative. Not what you want to hear, but noone is going to be able to tell you exactly what it feels like, because it is going to be your experience. I was determined to have a natural birth...after 14 hours of being in back labor and vomiting the entire time, and only being 5 cm dialated I gave in and had an epidural, I barely felt a thing. It was nothing compared to what I had experienced. Childbirth is not easy, but it is what we are built for, and you will do well, if you don't fight the pain, it is all not that bad. (three years later, how the memory fades..:) ) My advice is to try to stop thinking about what that needle looks like and the fact that it is going to enter your back, that is a pretty unappealing visual for anyone....and can be scary. I'm not sure if you have heard of hyponobirthing, but it is really a meditative process that keeps you in the moment. You may find it helpful, maybe not. Best of luck to you, you will do just great and I'm sure you are stronger than you think... And remember that you are in good hands and women do this all the time. Be confident in your intent.
MCM
mother of almost 3 year old, children's clothing designer, work from home.

Hi K.,
I've got a 5 year old and an almost 3 year old so I've been through it twice. The best advice I can give you is make all the plans you want, but be prepared to be flexible and open minded because when labor happens, it's anything goes. For both of my babies, I hired a doula, a labor coach from MothersCare Doula. She was fabulous and totally respected my wishes and plans. I am such a wuss with pain and wanted to ne totally pain free. With my first, I was in labor for a day and when it started getting bad that night, I went to the hospital expecting to be really dilated. Nope. Only a fingertip, they said. Despite the awful pain, they refused the epidural - way too early. They gave me morphine. It did nothing - I don't recommend it. The following morning, I was 3cm - after 24 hours of labor already - and 3cm is the requirement for an epidural. The needle did not hurt much at all and the relief was fabulous. I had no problems at all with it. I received Pitocin and all was fine with that too. They did turn the epi off so I could push my daughter out and that was painful but you have to just go for it. I think it took about 2 hours because I hesitated and didn't know how to really push correctly. I didn't tear much, only a few stitches and yes it does hurt but at that point you have the baby so that's really all you care about. I was so happy with this birth that I planned to do it all again when my son was ready to be born. So much for plans. Labor did progress quicker the second time around (17 hours vs. 36.5 hours) and I arrived at the hospital already 4cm. So, I got the epidural (not painful)and it didn't seem to work so well. It helped some at first. I got Pitocin. Then my blood pressure fell so they had to pump me full of fluids. And then, the epidural wouldn't work. I wasn't prepared for this. Thank God I had the doula there to talk me through what became a natural childbirth and not by choice. I think I would have done better had I been prepared for this possibility. It can and does happen. I ended up resenting the situation and of course that made the pain worse. The nurses couldn't do anything more for me because it would be risky to the baby at that point. I pushed my son out in 1/2 hour because I knew how to this time around. What a difference having done it once before made.
A few years later, if I wanted more kids, I'd still do it again. I think time gives you an amnesia of sorts about the whole thing. Prepare yourself for all possibilities and you will do just fine. I highly recommend a doula in case things don't go as planned. But, when you finally get to meet your baby, it really is worth all that you will have gone through. Best wishes.

I was in your same position last year. 1st DON'T LOOK! And you may actually want to wait until it is too painful for you. I didn't say okay @ 3 cm I will get it. I just went in there and said that I would get it when the pain was more than just discomfort. I was on petosin (I was induced) and those contractions are usually a lot worse than regular ones. But I decided to get it when the contractions were making me naucious. If you wait you really won't feel the needle at all. I did a little, but the dr. joked around the whole time and kept me in conversation as to prevent me from focusing on it. Don't worry about it... Relax, it is the best thing for you and your baby!

Well, it depends. I had my first when I was 39 and my second at 41. I'm not afraid of needles and didn't think the epidural was too bad. Just be sure they tell you when they are going to poke you so that you are prepared. With my first, they stopped giving me medicine when I had to push and it hurt like hell. I couldn't talk about it without crying for several months afterward. My daughter was big (8lbs, 4oz) and tore me up on her way out. I think I have a fairly high pain threshold. When I had my second, I asked the anesthesiologist if he would continue the meds while I was pushing and he told me of course. I don't know what happened the first time around but I got the meds with my second (9lbs, 15 1/2oz) and it was soooo much better.

I know people have strong feelings about whether or not one should use pain meds during childbirth. Do what is right for you. Maintain your sense of humor! Good luck!

C.

If you were 9cm they would not even give you the epidural (happened to me with my second child!!ackkk!I am still bitter about that, sorry)

I had an epidural with my first son and there was almost no pain. A small pin prick. Don't worry about it at all.
Focus on getting to the hospital early enough for the epidural but not so early that they send you back home.
(contractions five minutes apart for two hours)

Not bad at all. You'll never feel it. You'll never see it happen and the best part is you never feel the really strong contractions.

Good Luck!

I was also terrified of the epidural, but I was pleasantly surprized. It really isn't bad at all, especially when you compare it to labor pains. You'll be fine, I promise!

By the time you are ready to deliver, you won't care what they do to you!! Plus within seconds you're contractions start to ease and you are instantly relaxed. I am a believer in epidurals, and I am not afraid of needles either, but the idea of something going into my spinal cord really upset me. I thought about it constantly, more than the birth itself! To be honest, the worst part is worrying about it! It takes all of 5 minutes, most of that is prep, and then it's over. If you are having contractions, you won't even care, as long as you know the numbness is coming!

Oh, and the needle is FAR from drill bit sized! I've had 2, and the anesthesiologist was nice enough not to pull it out until I wasn't facing him!

BTW, your description of yourself really cracked me up, we have a LOT of similarities! I just turned 40, had both of my kids at 38 and 39! And I am madly in love with John Cusack.....

K.:
Epidural doesnt hurt. I didnt feel any pain. Labor pain was BAD! After I got my epidural, nothing hurt...pain went away in the second. Believe me when pain gets you you will not care about epidural needel. Good luck with everythik!
PS: DO you know what you are having?
M.

Dont worry about the epidural...if you want it that badly you wont have time to worry about it. I had mine at 4cm's. I was induced and having contractions 1 min apart at that point. I couldnt take it anymore and the epidural was nothing compared to the contractions. The nurse held me still and the Dr. told me exactly what he was doing while making small talk too. I never saw the actual needle. Believe me...compared to the 3 hours of 1-2 mins apart contractions I had, the epidural was nothing!! I dont even remember any pain with that needle at all. And I dont like needles, IV's etc. I even had them put tape over the IV in my hand so I wouldnt have to look at it. I'm a chicken and the epidural really was no big deal at all. You'll be fine. Best of luck for a smooth delivery!

Well K., I had an epidural with my 1st. The needle did not hurt but that could be because they had given me Petocin to induce the labor which had stalled after a few hours. Once they pinpoint the area, they go in and its over, so don't worry, really. I truly believe at that point your only concern is getting your precious baby out safe and as quickly as possible. Now my 2nd child I thought was going to be the same deal so I took my time getting to the hospital. Got there and I was already 9cm..couldnt not have anything. But he shot out like a bullet and I was up on me feet in 1 hr! I'd go for that if I were you!!!!

One piece of advice that EVERY person should know about epidurals (yes men occasionally get them for back problems): make sure you get the local first. My anesthesiologist forgot to give me the local before the epidural and man that hurt.

See if your doc will show you a sample epidural - they're pretty small and may calm your fears about large needles the size of your pinky going into your back (cuz nothing like that is going in).

I am a mother of a 16 month old (my first child) and i had the epidural at 3cm. there was a slight discomfort that was very short lasting. In my experience if you are stellar with giving blood and getting shots (which I'm not) you should be totally fine. I also made sure that I didn't see the needle bc I know it would have freaked me out.

LOVE star wars...so do my two boys. Thak God I love those movies. Anyway...the epidural is nothing to worry about. Don't think about it. Sure, there is a small amount of pain involved, but it really isn't bad at all. I had it done twice in two years. I fell like saying "pain" is even too strong of a word to describe it. It was really just a pinch and it was really quick. Think about the alternative! Good luck. May The Force Be With You!

Don't worry about it at all! I had an emergency c-section when my water broke at 29weeks, and I didn't even feel the needle. They numb the area first and then insert the needle. I did feel nauseated after the baby was born, however, so if you have that tendency, you may want to talk to them about preventative measures for nausea. This doesn't happen to everyone though.

Best of luck!

It really isn't bad. Firstly, there's so much excitement, you've heard all the you can't move warnings and plus you'll have contractions as well at this time - you don't have to worry. You'll be thinking wow that swab is SO cold that the needle will be in and out before you know it. What I found more annoying was the first night sleep after. It's like you're trying to lay on your back but you feel an awkward sensation. Again, nothing you won't get over - don't worry you'll be fine :) Just giving it to ya straight because people were lying to me!
Good luck!
AFB

I was just talking to another Mom about this over the weekend, and we both agreed that the epidural was the worst part of labor. The best part is it's over quickly and after that labor is much more tolerable. I'm sure many woman have had wonderful experiences with it, but I did not. You will survive and get through it. Lots of luck to you and your new family.

It's not a drill-bit sized needle--it's a very thin one. The hardest part is that you do have to curl up on your side or sit up with support and lean forward in order to cause the vertebrae to separate so the needle goes in easily. The anesthesiologist knows how to do it--the position is really more troublesome than anything, and that's not for long. If you do not get total pain relief, SAY SOMETHING--some women just tolerate being able to feel a little on one side or whatever because they think they can put up with it or that fixing it will be hard. It isn't--they will just have you lie differently or adjust the bed so that the medication will absorb in the right way. Epidurals can make the whole experience so much more tolerable--don't freak yourself out about it. Enjoy.

Ever have a cavity drilled at? That's what i compare the insertion of the needle to but it's on a way larger scale and in your spine. But the pain of the contractions are so bad that when you are getting it done, you'd take a kick to the shins also, ya know what I mean?

Also...I just had my second and I did it without an epidural...I was that mom that missed the window - your biggest fear! And although it was the most excrutiating pain, way worse than the contractions during most of the day, it was only about 7 or 8 of them and I popped her right out! Plus, I didn't have to deal with the epidural aftermath! Good luck!

hi K.-

they give you a numbing shot 1st. it feels like a pinch, but nothing compared to the caontactions. then you get the epi needle and all you feel is pressure in that one spot. i have to say, it was a terrific experience. i got to really 'be present' at the birth and concentrate on my son's birth and my husband, and i remember every minute of it since i wasn't stressed about the pain. i actually had to have the epi needle twice since the 1st time the dr. missed the spot-he got it part way, but not fully, so i had to do it again. since he used the novicane shot 1st, i didn't feel it either time, just the pressure and a warm sensation.

ps-you are not a chicken or a wimp! :)

K.:

Loved your request you are so funny. Anyway needle, not bad at all, The only way I can describe how it feels is that you will feel the pinch and pressure but truly nothing you can't handle low pain threshold and all. Luckily enough I gave birth at Morristown Memorial and they let you get the epidural as soon as you request it no matter how dialated you are, which I thought was great as I was calmed and "relaxed" I got it at 2 cm. One thing that helped for me is that my hubby was with me and the anesthesiologist was describing every step and how it would feel, it happened just as he said, would love to remember so that I can share but I do remember it was not bad. Have your anesthesiologist walk you through it if at all possible it will distract you and give you some peace of mind. And keep on obssesing, I mean researching, the more you know the better able you will be to ask the right questions and understand the answers and their implications. You'll do great as a first time mother my biggest concern was the giving birth part, now is just how to get my 15 mo old to listen to me :o). Good luck with everything.

Well, K., it really isn't that bad. I have a very low threshold for pain also. When I hit 4cm, I immediately asked for the epidural. I actually was poked twice with the needle because it wasn't properly inserted the first time. But doing my breathing exercises and listening to my husband's calm voice was a great distraction. You really won't feel much because the anaesthesia numbs you almost immediately. Good luck with your delivery and congratulations!!

K.~

totally get where you are coming from. I was way more nervous about the epidural than anything else. And I'm a first time mom who gave birth to twins in Nov. It was a lot easier than I expected. A little discomfort and weird feeling when they insert it but I just kept doing deep breaths like in yoga and after a few minutes I didn't notice it.
Plus I had a c-section so they left the epidural in for 3 days. No big deal.
Best of luck and wishing you a continued happy, healthy pregnancy.

Tracey

Trust me - you're not even going to FEEL the needle at ALL! I didn't....and you'll be more focused on the RELIEF that that needle is going to provide.

You can't see it either - so that helps....you won't even know what's going on in the back. You'll be folded over and they will hold you steady. And it's going to feel amazing once that epidural starts flowing through....

My sitch sounds exactly like yours. Had baby in my late 30's and can recite every John Hughes movie!

hi K.,

i experienced both, labor and an epidural needle, and really neither is that bad. i labored for 40 hours without an epidural but at hour 40 needed rest (and what a relief it was to rest!!) until then, i was drug-free and you know what? it was fine... labor was uncomfortable but FAR from the worst pain of my life (a dentist visit is worse for me). the epidural needle was very scary to me as well. but again, the anticipation of it was way worse then the actual experience of it. fyi, (you've probably already read this in all the reading you're doing) epidurals do slow down labor and set you up perfectly for a c-section. even with the so-called "walking" epidural, you still can't feel your legs enough to actually walk. walking, as you probably already know, is one of the best things to move labor along... you're standing and letting gravity do much of the work for you. with an epidural, you MUST be hooked up to monitors so that your and baby's vitals can be tracked. therefore you labor on your back... worst position to labor in. so along with an epidural you'll also most likely require a shot of pitocin to keep labor moving. my only real words of advice are be open to all possibilities... every birth is a relationship happening... it involves your will and your body but also that of your child. so things may not go as you planned bcs it's not solely up to you how this all goes down.

if you're not a needle-phobe, have you thought about using an acupuncturist to assist you through labor? ...acupuncture will help ease labor pains, encourage labor to progress, move the baby into the correct position (if mal-positioned), help you dilate, help you push, all of it! i only wish i had an acupuncturist present at my labor to support me. this is what i do so contact me if you're interested. whatever you choose to do i wish you lots of luck, a speedy and uncomplicated delivery and a healthy happy baby. remember, women have been doing this for millions of years... you will be fine! have faith in yourself

K.

Hi K.,

I never felt it! And it starts working so fast! I wanted to have a drug-free labor because I was afraid of the needle, but I decided to go with the epidural after 14 hours of labor and 6cm. It was nothing really. The hardest part was my husband had to leave the room during the procedure, which is standard so be prepared for that. Just listen to your nurse, focus on her and before you know it you'll be watching your contractions on a monitor and hardly feeling them.

Congratulations K.! I see that you have already received a lot of responses, but I wanted to put in my 2 cents. I also have a really low threshold for pain, but I did not like the idea of a drug going into my spine, so I was determined to NOT get an epidural. My sister-in-law on the other hand (who delivered 7 weeks after me) was probably more scared than you are and she was counting on the epidural. It turns out she progressed pretty fast and missed the "window." Guess what? She survived. She has a beautiful baby boy and even though labor and delivery were painful, it was over quickly. I was so stubborn that no matter how much pain I was in, I refused the epidural. Although in the middle of the night I finally caved and took some demarol (sp?) at the suggestion of the nurse. I would not recommend it! The nurse said it would help me sleep so that I would have energy to push. It knocked me out only in between contractions. So I was basically getting 5 minute naps and being awakened by intense pain. The best part was feeling the urge to push. When you get a contraction and you push, it takes away the pain. I only pushed for about 20 minutes, then had a beautiful baby boy! The other thing that I didn't like about the demerol was that I felt out of it for the whole rest of the day (not fun with lots of people visiting!)
Anyway, whatever you decide try to labor at home for as long as you can stand it, and wait (if you can) for the epidural. I found I was more comfortable standing, leaning against the bed and rocking back and forth through the contractions. If you get the epidural, you are stuck in bed! Talk with your doctor and decide what is best FOR YOU - don't let anyone talk you into something you don't want. For now, enjoy some alone time with your husband!! Best of luck to you!

First of all, every labor/delivery is different so what one person says might not be the same for you. Even within one woman, each delivery could vary greatly (I've heard some stories!). That being said, I am THE biggest baby when it comes to needles!! Leading up to delivery day, I was dreading the IV and epidural way more than the delivery. Guess what? It wasn't that bad! It just felt weird at first but it was totally fine. Just stay calm and think of something that really relaxes you throughout labor and you'll be just fine! Once you see your baby, it will all be forgotten!

Good Luck!!!!

Well, let me first describe the pain of a natural birth and then the epidural and then YOU decide which pain you would rather deal with!!! :)

I have done both natural and epidural...but the natural was not by choice, it was one of the "oops, I broke your water too soon (4cm)" before getting the epidural!!...and I had the baby within 30 minutes! I was sooo upset, but I did experience a natural birth because of it and made sure that I made a mental note of what the pain could be compared to and here is what I came up with....

In addition to all the painful contractions in your back, there is a TON of pressure "down there"!!!....like a lead weight is steadly and increasingly bearing down on you. As the baby's head comes through the birth canal in feels like 5 PAIRS OF PLIERS CLAMPING DOWN ON YOUR VAGINA....ALL PINCHING AND PULLING APART AT THE SAME TIME!!!! I kid you not, it is the most painful thing ever, and who knows how long this pain can last, depending on how quick you can push the baby out!!! Once you can get the head out and then the rest of the baby, the pain will pretty much disappear.

Now for the pain of the Epidural: yes, it is a giant pipe-like needle the stab in your back! The initial pain lasts a few minutes, then they have to feed a small tube through that needle (which will sit in your spinal gap and secrete the anesthesia) which is also a few minutes of pain and cold. Then, they tape up the tubing to your back and your set to go. The difficult thing about the process is that you MUST hold perfectly still, which is so hard to do with the poking around in your back!!!

The anesthesia should begin to work within 15 minutes, numbing you from the waist down. After delivery, when they yank the tape off your back (ouch!) and then remove the tubing there's also a bit of pain.

Personally, I'd go through the few minutes of pain over the UNKNOWN amount of time of a natural birth....I mean that could go on for hours!!! Besides, the Maternity Nurses in Labor and Delivery are usually sooooooooooo helpful, encouraging, understanding, etc. and will even physically hold onto as you get the epidural (typically they don't let the husbands be involved in this process because they are more likely to react to your pain and are not as familiar with the process).

So, YOU decide! I'm sure you could handle the epidural over the natural birth pain any day...especially if you have a low thresh hold for pain. Good Luck!...I'm sure you'll do GREAT!

My view - go fro the epidural. Science has perfected it so that you can enjoy the delivery without being in agony! I had one - the needle was not at all painful - beat the discomfort I had up until my nurse finally agreed to it....she didn't use it for her pregnancies - so she was trying to have me do it as well! Not her place to block my wishes!! Once I had the epidural, I could finally relax. I am a single mother who did not have the father to participate....thank heaven for sisters and mothers to get you through a challenging time. Don't believe you are a chicken for having the epidural...you know yourself and your body - do what is BEST for YOU as this is you and your husbands special miracle - not anyone elses!

Hey K. - no worries. With my first baby I had an epidural when I was about 5cm and I didn't feel a thing (the needle felt like a little pinch). And the recovery was fine - just needed help getting in and out of bed for the first 2 or so hours. I planned on an early epidural with my second, but she came a month early (no one believed I was in labor until I couldn't walk - long story) By the time I made it to the hospital I was already 8cm. They gave me the epidural but it really didn't kick in - it may have dulled the pain but not by much. That being said, you may want to learn some pain coping techniques just in case b/c every birth is different. If I ever have a third (not likely) I may skip the epidural all together. Labor is hard and hurts, but it's managable and afterwards you feel great. Good luck! You'll do great!

Hi K.,
I don't think anyone or any amount of reading will prepare for labor. I read everything I could get my hands on and tried to educate myself because I am just pragmatic that way.

I was in labor for 34 hours in the hospital. I had to have an IV because I had a positive Beta Strep test which meant that I had to have penicillin every 4 hours until Amelia Marie decided she was coming out. When I arrived at the hospital I was 2 cm dilated (very disappointed) and didn't see my doctor until 5 hours later who told me I could go home. My home was 45 minutes away from the hospital so I opted to stay. I recommend staying in the comfort of your home until your pain becomes unbearable, I will remember that for baby #2.

About 16 hours in my pain tripled and the contractions were coming fast and furious. I did not opt for any pain management at this point because it was too early and I didn't want my labor to slow. They prepared a whirlpool bath for me which I sat in until I was pruny. Once out of the tub the pain was instense again and they checked me, only 3 cm(Again disappointing). I was given Nubain which basically knocked me out so I could get some sleep. I slept for 6 hours straight.

When I woke up it was about 5 am and I was 4cm(okay now we were getting somewhere). By 9 am I was 5cm and they were ready to break my water. Once that happened I made it to 6 cm in an hour and was ready for the "walking epidural." If you are looking for solid pain management I would not recommend this as it only last 2 to 3 hours(2 for me) and I got the needle twice because it wore off. I went to 9cm by 4pm that afternoon with minimal pain. I pushed for 4 hours and had to have an emergency c-section(nightmare).

Long story short, I don't think my choices of pain management had anything to do with the c-section. My daughter was "sunny-side up" and the larger part of her head was trying to come out. She basically got stuck and I had to have the surgery. Relax, enjoy your blossoming belly, and take labor as it comes. I recommend you take labor classes, tour your hospital's maternity wing, ask lots of questions, and be prepared for anything. I was not expecting a c-section because not one woman in my family ever had one. In the end after labor is over and you look at your beautiful baby for the first time, all (I promise you) will be forgotten! Good luck!

I went from 1 cm to 9 in less than 5 minutes, so when I had the needle it was at 9cm. I didn't even feel the needle, I didn't realize it was done.

Honestly, best way to handle the contractions is do not scream just breathe through them and the epidural and 4cm feels great and settles you usually until it is time to push.

It really isn't that bad. I have three daughters and had an epidural with each birth. The hardest part is sitting absolutely still while still trying to get through your contractions. The needle used to numb to me felt like when the dentist gives you novacaine, and there was a kind of slight burning itching sensation for a minute. And the numbness comes in a you don't feel a thing. There really isn't anything to be scared of (easy for me to say lol). Congratulations and good luck to you!

When I finally decided to get my epidural I didn't even notice the needle going in as my contractions were hurting enough. And once the needle is in and they put the medicine in, it will all be worth it! It's different for everyone. Good luck!

I don't know if it is different with every doctor but I did not feel the needle at all. It was a breeze. However I had the first epidural shortly after they broke my water (I was induced) and the epidural wore off halfway through. When they tried to give me more through the tube it wasn't affecting me so they had to due the epidural all over again. So I had two and I really don't remember having ANY pain but if I did I would say it was mild discomfort. I am a chicken too! I had no doubt I would be taking drugs. Just a note. I did feel almost like bruising at the injection site after even though you couldn't see bruising. It lasted quite some time but it did go away.

Your feelings are exactly how I felt before my son. I was very scared of a needle plunging into my spine, plus I bought all the stuff about natural childbirth. The truth is that there is a huge range in the level of pain that women experience depending on the size of the baby, the proportions of their body,etc. For me, I ended up with an almost 9-lb. son, who almost didn't come out without a C-section. Thirty seven hours after my water broke he finally came out, but only with the use of the plunger (I forget what it's called but it assist to get the baby out once the baby has crowned). In any event, under these conditions, I truly needed the epidural, and with the amount of pain I was experiencing I welcomed it, with no fear of the needle. I guess the bottom line is - if you are in a lot of pain, you will know that you need the epidural and will welcome it, regardless of the needle.

I also had the epidural with my second child. Thankfully, even though she was 9lbs 5oz, she came out in only 5 hours. Here again, the pain from the needle was minimal.

Hey K.,

I felt your pain, literally! I too have a low-threshold (if none at all, honestly) for pain. I've never been hospitalized, never broken a bone, still have my appendix and my tonsils. That being said, I was also very anxious about the pain level. However, I'm also the baby of 7 and my son was the 9th of the grandchildren for my mother so I did have this idea in my head that it couldn't be sooooo bad if my mother had done it 7 times and many of my sisters had done it more than once.
In all honesty, it wasn't that bad. And this is coming from a woman who was in labor for about 24 hours and pushed for just under 2. I did have the epidural (and there was never any question of whether I would or not). I don't think I would have the same attitude had I not had the epidural. But with it, it was a cakewalk for me. Pushing was a little odd, but only becuase I was just regaining the feeling (from the effect of the epidural). I also had an episiotomy. But I remember thinking immidiately after they handed me my son, "I could totally do this again". And I feared that I would barely make it through one let alone thinking I could do it for another.
So trust me when I say, you'll be okay! You'll be so focused on seeing your little one for the first time and so eager (after 9 long months) to get that baby out, that the pain and process (or labor and delivery) will be the furthest things from your mind! And once you're done with the pushing you'll have the biggest and most amazing reward of your life. Followed by a lot of crazy and new experiences!

Best of luck!
R.

It's not that bad, K.. Don't worry! I had one a few years ago, and they don't even let you see the needle. They made my hubby leave the room (in case HE fainted), and the nurse let me "hug" her while the doctor inserted the needle. Do your LaMaze breathing, and it really won't be that bad. Good luck with the new baby!!!!

I have had 3 children. The first 2 I had naturally. The first, I waited and missed the "window" as you say. It really wasnt so bad. The contractions were so bad it kinda block the memory.LOL The second, I almost had him in the elevator, so of course it wasnt to bad. He really wanted out and wa not going to play the contract,push game. My 3rd. I had a c-section. I had been haveing pain since March. (she was born in july). The Dr's (mine was in Saudi and I was left in the hands of the practce. although he returned home while I was in surgery and he finished the proceedure) I was 1 month overdue, she had turned and was "Frank Breech" (were the butt comes first) There was no way she would come on her own. The gave me an epidural. In my case, my contractions had started and the did it during one. I really did not feel a thing. They also numb the area first. And yes it is true, once you have the baby, you really dont remember the pain. The best way to see this is....If it was really as bad as people say, there would be no repeat performances... Since it is a planned c-section. talk to your dr. he has done this alot of times. He will try to make it a comfortable fo you as possible.

First of all, you're funny! :)
I had the epidural and man, it was worth it. The needle for the epidural was a little uncomfortable and you feel a lot of pressure. You don't feel the needle at all, all you feel is the fluid going in with pressure. It is uncomfortable, but like I said, so worth it in the end. After I had mine, I was able to sleep and relax. I felt NOTHING after that. My sister in law went natural and said it was a piece of cake but I'm like you, give me the drugs! Either way, you'll be fine! Good luck!

K.,
In comparison to what birthing that kid is going to feel like the needle is nothing. I had a great anesthesiologist that stuck his thumbnail between the vertabrae told me I would feel a bee sting and boom it was done. Nothing to it. Think of what you are doing it for and you will be all good.

Best of luck to you and your family!

Hi K.,

I had my son at 36 and had an epidural while contracting every 5 minutes. I NEVER felt it. The important thing is to keep your shoulders relaxed and breath slowly. Trust me the contractions are such a distraction you'll never know what "hit" you. Excuse the pun. Good luck!
A. B.

K.,

I think that pain is relative...each person has their own threshold. You say that yours is low...it will hurt...possibly a lot. Not to scare you, but I have had three epidurals, a couple of them took repeated attempts to get the catheter in place, and I can tell you that the last one that I had 16 months ago was complete torture. It took way too long...I was not in labor because I was having a scheduled c-section, so there was no issue with contractions making it difficult. It was the worst experience, and I don't want to scare you, but you asked for the truth. I could feel the needle scraping my bone as she tried to get it into the right spot. I screamed so bad and I was yelling at her to stop torturing me...truly an awful experience!

My first epidural they put way too much medicine in and I couldn't feel anything...a seemingly good problem to have until it came time to push. It took me 3 hours of pushing because I could not feel anything. The actual process of getting it done wasn't too bad that time, except for the fact that it feels so weird when they put the needle in because it is so huge!

My second epidural they hit nerves, which is excruciating, and then I have permanent nerve damage from that. It is called Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy and it presents in me mostly in my left leg, which is numb all the time, tingles sometimes, has excrutiating pain at times, makes it impossible to be barefoot because if I step on even the smallest crumb it sends me through the roof with pain, and did I mention that it is permanent...forever?!

I was so scared that I would have more nerve damage if I had another epidural that for my third baby...a scheduled c-section...I went under general anesthesia. I don't recommend that at all!

So, like I said, with my last one I went for another epidural and while I didn't suffer any further nerve damage, it was extremely painful.

I believe I answered your question, which seemed to be more about the pain of the epidural being put in than the pain of labor, which we all know is the most painful thing ever. Every time I got pregnant after the first I was more nervous because I knew how bad it was going to be.

All that being said, every person is different and even with your reported low threshold of pain, there are no guarantees that you would have unbearable pain or complications with the epidural, and once it is in and working it is so worth all of the pain it took to get to that point.

Like I said, I absolutely don't want you to be scared because it is a necessary pain that in no way indicates an injury, and that is the type of pain that we should be scared of, not labor related pains which give the most wonderful result and then go away after!

I wish you all the best. Take everyone's story and then know that yours will be completely different, and we really have no control over our bodies when we are in labor so we just have to take it as it comes. Congrats on your soon to be born baby!

Stop reading!!!! Pain is different with everyone, and there is no book written about how YOUR experience will be. Talk with your doctor before the birth, I have four children, and only had an epidural with the first. Consider taking along music to listen to instead, the actual pain isn't as traumatic as the unknown-you won't do anything the nurses haven't seen before! With my fourth I had the doctor apply warm compresses to relax the muscles and allow everything to expand easier-the baby was over 9.5 pounds, and one of the easiest births! The actual epidural isn't as painful as is the fact you can't see it happening (it goes into your back), and you are told to keep completely still. Relax!!! You'll have 18 plus years to stress, don't do it all now.

Hey K.,
I totally sympathize with you...I was petrified about the whole birthing process..I work in the medical profession and know what can happen if the epidural goes wrong....However let me tell you that once those contractions hit you will do whatever anyone wants to get rid of that pain...I labored for 36 hours, had 2 shots of stadol which did nothing but make me see 2 of everything, and finally said I had had enough and took the epidural....it was NOTHING...I think the cleaning with the Betadine was worse than the actual injection...it was more pressure than anything...and as one of the other people said the farther over you hunch your back the easier it is for the anesthesiologist....My epidural only took on one side so it took a bit before I was numb all over but once I was it was COMPLETE HEAVEN...I could rest comfortably and actually watch me having contractions on the monitor....I ended up with a c-section because I wouldnt dilate past 4cm, my daughter's heartrate decreased and she became stuck in my pelvic area but I was happy I had gotten the epidural so that I didnt require an emergency one or general anesthesia....I also loved the c-section...had no problems, needed no pain meds, and felt great....So all in all the epidural is nothing compared to the pain of those contractions!! Congrats on the soon to be new addition to your family!! Best of luck!! If you have any other questions feel free to contact me!!
Meg :)

I have had four c sections so I know what an epidural and a spinal feel like. I have had two of each. While the initial sting does hurt a bit it is mostly like a bee sting followed by a burning sensation. Once that is over though you feel nothing!! I was lucky 3 of the 4 times to have a great pain doctor who got it right the first time. My third child I had a doctor who just couldn't find the right spot for the needle. She kept resticking me over and over again. After like the 5th attempt I told them if she doesn't get it this next time you have to knock me out for the surgery. She finally got it though so I didn't have to worry about it. I labored twice too with my first two children. I went pain free with son number one until I reached the 14 hour mark and then got pain meds. Ended up with a c section so glad I did it because everything was already in place and I didn't have to wait. With my second I tried for the VBAC and did almost the whole labor at home. By the time I got to the hospital I was 5cm they broke my water and I went from 5cm to complete in 20 mintues. Needless to say he got stuck and I had to have a c section. With the first two c sections I had to be catherized for the epidural. tHe last two with the spinal I didn't. I was able to get up and use the bathroom about 2 hours after surgery. I would rather the spinal over the epidural because it wore off faster. Both my last two children ended up in a NICU about 50 miles away from me so I was able to leave the hospital and go to them 36 hours after having them. (they were both 5 weeks early) Labor is labor....it does hurt just remember that at the end you have a wonderful baby to hold.

Oh yeah BTW the needle is not as big as you think and you can't see it when they use it.

I had an epidural, although I really didn't want to at all. I was induced after I went to the doctor and there was no amniotic fluid at all, although my water never broke. At 5 centimeters I finally had an epidural, and didn't feel the needle at all. I was nervous, not because of the pain, but because of the possible complications. Didn't feel a thing. The pain of labor is so intense, that the prick of a needle will seem like nothing at all, if you even detect it. That was my experience anyway. Great luck!

The needle is not that bad at all. What was bad was having the epidural wear off and it being too late to have more & having to deliver without it! I needed to be induced for my first so the pitocin made my contractions especially painful and unbearable so having the epi wear off was trumatic.

You may also want to think about having a other pain meds. I was given a narcotic called stadol for #2 & #3 & that made me totally loopy and those deliveries were easier than the 1st.

Good luck! You'll be just fine!

A.

Firstly, congratulations! Don't spend too much time worrying about the pain--enjoy your pregnancy! I will end the mystery for you by telling you that no matter what anyone says, labor hurts A LOT! That said, I have two sons and have gone through labor twice and I would do it a million times more if that was required to be a mother! I should also point out that I am a total chicken about medical things and typically pass out from blood tests. I promise you that it is all worth it in the end. The epidural is a pinch and does not hurt that much. Also, you will not see the needle which makes it easier--it is also pretty quick. I will tell you that after you have the epidural, when it starts to wear off, let the nurse know immediately, so that they can give you more!

If you have an epidural at 3 cm, you may slow down your labor and make it more likely that you will need a c-section. It is better to have an epidural when you are 5 cm. or close to that.

Hi K.. I have had the epidural twice. I had it the first time with my son 4 years ago. I was 4cm dilated and I had it. The anesthesiologist and nurse tell you everything that is going on. It does pinch but if its not that bad. My son was 3 weeks early, my water broke at home and I started having contractions. My second child, my daughter, was born just about 9 months ago. I never had any contractions just a lot of pressure and when I went to the doctor that morning to be checked I was 6cm. I went right to the hospital and had the epidural again felt the pinch but it is so worth it and they give you a button to push to give yourself more of the meds when you need it. They actually increased mine with my daughter because I started to feel too much. Once they increased it, I didn't even realize I was pushing and she came out in three pushes. I labored for about 4 hours. On the other hand with my son they also increased the meds but that was because my labor was longer. I don't mean to scare you in any way. It is all worth it. I would do it again in heart beat. I hate needles but I could not have labored without the epidural. I wish you the best of luck. L.

oh my gosh!!! tooo cute --- the epidural was NOTHING compared to the pain of the contractions. I don't even remember it hurting at all, I think they numb the surface..so if anything, maybe mosquito type pain.. what i rmember most is the big sigh of relief AFTER getting the epidural, I could finally take a little nap and get ready for the big push. THEN.... the push/ and the actual delivery = cake walk,,nothing to it it was those first contractions that got me. Hmmmmm,, oh ya.. I remember getting the IV for pain as well NuBane? or something like that. it may have taken the edge of the pain from needle of the epidural, and definately helped the contractions while I was waiting for the epidural guy to get there. I recommend it cause the rest of the stuff didn't phase me. I was a big pain sissy too and scared to death of childbirth but it really wasn't so bad.

Okay, so I had planned to "tough it out" as long as possible, but was in enough pain upon entering the delivery area that I requested the epidural right away. I won't lie, the needle did hurt, but not nearly as much as the contractions, so it is really all relative.

I will say, that there was NO feeling in the world as good as the feeling AFTER the epidural kicked in. To "watch" your contractions happen on the monitor and not feel a thing is definitely worth the price of admission!

Just make sure your husband is at your side during the whole procedure. It definitely helped to have someone's hand to hold and a loving face to focus on to take your mind off the needle and its proximity to your spine!

Compared to the pain of labor and the baby actually coming out, you definately want the epidural. I have had 2 deliveries, first one had the epidural and it was wonderful. I made it to 5cm and couldn't take the pain anymore, then I went from 5cm to 9cm in an 1 1/2 hours because the epidural relaxed me. The needle is long but not drill bit sized in width. I "missed" the window with my 2nd delivery and was very unhappy feeling everything.

I am 37 have 2 beautiful girls and I am a big chicken when it comes to pain also.

Hi there...if you read evidence-based medical literature about birth, you'll see lots of warnings NOT to get an epidural before 4cms because it is associated with slowed labor, which in a hospital setting is likely to lead to a c-section you may not need. Speaking from my own experience, I got one at just under 3cm: my water had broken at home at the start of labor and the on-call docs kept pushing me to augment with Pitocin. I consented to the Pitocin after a while, but since I wasn't dilated very far I tried to ride it out without pain relief until I got to 4 cms. Didn't make it - I lasted about 4 hours before I couldn't take it anymore, and had only progressed to 3.5. Re: the epidural needle....they had to shoot me twice with local anesthetic. It took two tries to place it correctly and despite the local, YES it hurt. Hurt and felt extremely weird - there's no doubt something is touching the inside of your spine. Might just be me, I'm very sensitive. Anyway, lo and behold, even with them jacking the Pitocin to maximum levels, at 27 hours I had only progressed to 6cm and spiked a fever, and they sectioned me. For all the Pitocin/epi combo was was worth, I wish I had just labored naturally until/unless the same warning signs came up (fever, slightly elevated heartrate in my son) and then if they had to section me, so be it. Epis are also associated with mom getting a fever. I went through a lot of pain and trouble (epi kept cutting out, then they gave me too much so I passed out, then it accidentally got turned OFF by someone at some point....the list goes on) for absolutely nothing gained in my labor.

Anyway, my two cents is, if you're dead set on having an epidural, try your hardest to make it to 4cm without it, unless you're going into shock from the pain or something. Honestly I found the pain manageable before the Pitocin, but I had wanted a natural birth if possible so I might have felt positively about my labor pain but negatively about the interventions. My reaction to them might be more severe than someone who's neutral.

Good luck! The baby will come out one way or the other. Just keep telling yourself that. ;-)

You will feel nothing, I swear. I had a planned -section with my second boy and I had to get the epidural as I walked into the OR. I did not feel a thing except for a "funny" feeling down my leg, but not pain...just funny. I think it was the fact that I could not see it. What did wig me out was the fact that I was consciously trying to lie perfectly still. Other than that I was A-ok and you will too.

it doesn't feel that bad, but the epi did not relieve my pain in any way-but i may be in the minority there. you also can't eat or drink anything and they catheterize you, so no walking around etc. think really hard about it before you do it. the hard part is trying to stay still while having labor pains while they put the needle in. it is like trying to stand still on a rocking boat, almost impossible. good luck with your decision.

Honestly, I didn't think it was that bad. First of all you won't see the size of the needle b/c the anethesiologist (who at least at my hospital is the one who gives it) is sitting behind you. Secondly, it happens very fast. You kind of lay on your side and curl up (as best you can with a full belly :) so they can get a good spine view. The hardest part for me was not moving for the 10 seconds (maybe) that it took, expecially since right when he said "okay, don't move" I had a contraction coming. Anyhow, it was the smallest pinch & it was done. I have a harder time when they take blood. Then the tube that stays in is so thin you really won't feel it and they tape it to your back so it won't move. When they take it out later you don't feel it either. You may also want to ask about the earliness of getting the epidural - MDs all have different policies. Also you need to realize that the epidural can slow down labor and if it is progressing well, you may not want to do that early on. Good luck.

Epidurals are the best thing! It really allows you to deliver your baby pain free and actually enjoy the birthing process. Don't listen to your friends or anyone else for that matter about "horror stories". It's just that people like to make things sound so horrible it make themselves look better than others.

I had two epidurals...didn't feel them and had 2 wonderful births with no pain. My son was 8 pounds and my daughter was 10lbs. 7 ounces.

Just relax and like the other women said, stop reading! And if you ask people about it, they always had the worst of all time history!!! That's the nature of the beast.

Good luck...you'll be fine and will have a precious bundle of joy!

well, I had a c-section due to a placenta previa. In that case they give you a spinal, not an epidural, but aside from being a slightly smaller needle for me, and the fact they had to go deeper for me, it's the same idea. It wasn't so bad. I was terrified. I had tears streaming down my face the whole time. they put lidocaine on first to numb. Then the needle was more like a pressure and tiny pinch. That was it. A spinal works very fast. I couldn't get my legs on the table. They had to help. I think an epidural takes more like 10 in all. I also think, as most women have said, you're in so much contraction discomfort that you'll take a bitty needle in the back!

LOL - the needle hurts a lot less than labor - trust me!
I've had 3 c-sections...(emergency, not selective) the spinal is no big deal - I don't like needles either, who does, really? You'll be fine, you really will...and after it's all done, you get an amazing prize!!!
PS - the spinal feels like a mild bee sting.

K., you opened yourself up to a loaded question. There's so many opinions on this. I have 2 children and got an epidural with both. The needle hurts less than hours of labor pain. It's a little pinch followed by pressure for a minute. Do what you want and don't be bothered by everyone's "horror" stories that are sure to come. Good luck!

The epidural needle doesn't hurt at all. And, certainly you will have experienced labor pains/contractions before they give you the epidural. So, whatever "pain" is caused by the epidural needle will pale in comparison to the contractions. And the relief it provides is totally worth it!!

But try not to psych yourself out by saying you have a "low pain threshold," etc. Nobody likes pain. And our bodies are built to do this. So don't worry. Relax and let the medical professionals take care of you. They generally do a great job.

Haven't you ever heard....We make plans and God laughs.....I was a chicken too. First of all, the thought of going into labor petrified me and when to go to the doctor. Not to mention I was walking around 5cm dialated, and no labor. So when I asked the doctor if my wonderful daughter who is now 20 months was "cooked" she said do you want to have her tomorrow. With that I panicked, and said the next day. I walked into the hospital and they broke my water. After the second contraction I caved, couldn't take the pain. I didn't feel the needle at all. Just stay still. Can't say I looked but didn't feel it. They might use a topical to numb the area first....not sure. Just don't look. I think regardless you will find the needle less painful then the actual contractions. Don't worry, we all go through it and for somehow we forget how painful it really is or we would never consider multiple children. Just after you give birth ask for a ice pack, and you will be back to your usual self in no time.

I guess it will depend on who you talk to. Everyone seems to have a different experience when it comes to child birth. I had twins 7 months ago (vaginal delivery) and never had one labor pain. The only thing I really felt was a lot of pressure down very low. I had my boys 9 weeks early and had been having contractions that I rarely felt for several weeks before my Dr. finally could not stop my labor any longer. When it was finally time, I had gotten to 6 cm and still no pain, but like you was scared to death of the pain so I asked for the epidural. To be honest that was the worst part, but still not really too bad. I would suggest when its time to sit up with your legs off the side of the bed and hug a pillow. Just try and focus on breathing slowly and will be over before you know it. Once the epidural is in, its all down hill from there! You will be just fine. the anticipation is much worse than the actual epidural itself. I wish you the best of luck and hope you are lucky enough to have a pain free delivery as I was! Dealing with the summer heat will be worse than delivering your beautiful baby! As soon as you see your baby for the first time, you will be so in love words won't be able to describe the feeling. Treasure that moment in your life because you will never have it again. The only thing I wish could have been different when I delivered is that I only got to see my boys for literally 3 seconds before they were taken from me and I wasn;t able to hold them until hours after delivery. Best of luck!!

Honestly, my son is 4.5 months old and I can barely remember anything about his delivery. Major amnesia. However, I do remember the epidural being a breeze in comparison to everything else going on. I labored for 24 hours and pushed for 2.5. And my epidural did wear off. First, I just felt pain in a little spot on my one side, and I felt like I could handle that. Then, that little spot of pain started to expand until it completely wore off. But they prefer it that way, b/c you push better. Although, I'm not sure I preferred it. Ugh.

The biggest suprise for me was the sheer exhaustion. I had prepared myself mentally for the pain, so when the contractions started to come, I was ready for it. But the exhaustion caught me off guard. You are just so physically, emotionally and mentally drained during this whole process. So when everyone tells you to rest as much as possible before hand, believe them. Just give your body and mind a break. The epidural is nice b/c it gives you some time to regain your strength. At the end, the pushing hurt a lot, but being so tired made it so much harder to push. Luckily, you have the most amazing thing motivating you to keep going. That's why it's called the miracle of life I guess. BEST OF LUCK. You'll be fine!!!

I didn't go into labor - but instead had an unplanned c-section at 38 weeks. I was also very afraid of the epidural thing--and actually had experience working in medical malpractice--and we had a bad epidural case..I was terrified that I wouldn't regain feeling in my legs. Really the anticipation is worse than the pain or the recovery...Which was way worse by the way.
The needle wasn't too bad at all..just a second of pain..more uncomfortable than anything..it was the strange feeling and muscle cramping in my legs afterwards--plus the anesthesia just wears you out and made me really cold...needed heating blankets for 2 hours afterwards.
Just remember that all of this is a means to an end--and the end is way more important and precious.

I didn't find the actual needle part that painful or difficult. The part I had trouble with was staying perfectly still during a painful contraction. The nurse is holding you bent forward so that your spine is exposed and she's telling you to round your shoulders and do this and that all during contractions. The actual prick, which he had to do three times, wasn't that bad. Good luck. Make sure they turn it off in time for you to push on your own. Makes things a lot easier.

Hi there
I had an epidural for my first labour at 3cm dilated and it was the best thing I have ever done. I can honestly say I did not feel the needle at all as the sensation of it was so small compared to the contractions that I did not notice it. I took care not to look at the needle and of course it is happening behind you so you don't need to look if you don't want to. I know some people say beware of epidurals as they can increase need for other interventions etc, but for me, it was complete pain relief when the other things I had tried had made no difference at all. I went from screaming in pain to chatting about what I had seen on TV the night before! Plus, when it came to pushing out the baby, they let it wear off just enough that I could feel where I needed to push but not so that it hurt, and the pushing part was therefore pain free and unproblematic. BTW, when I had baby #2 I had no pain relief at all as it was so quick, so if you ever do it again you may find things entirely different! Very best of luck to you and family.

Hi. I am a 38 year old mother of three. I had my first two kids with no pain meds(not by choice). I had an epidural for my third(she is 1 year old now). It was like heaven. It feels like a bee sting. Then it feels sort of weird(not painful) and cold in the back area. It was great.

K.,
Hi I have three lovely children 8 1/2yrs, 4 yrs and almost 2 yrs. The best advice I could give you on child birth is not to listen to anyone horror stories and stay in the positive. You don't need to hear anything that is scary.
I found this aggrevating when I was pregnant and people would tell me the most unpleasant stories.
Just be pleasant and say I don't want to hear anything scary regarding childbirth until after I have the baby.
Enjoy..the time goes by so quickly. Denise

Hi K.,
I think the opinion is going to be different from every person you ask. My personal experience with an epidural was great. I didn't see the needle, so there was no anxiety there. I had horrible pain with my contractions, and they were right on top of each other. (FYI, they wouldn't give me my epidural until I was 5 cm) So, the epidural was a welcome relief! But, I actually don't remember the epidural hurting too badly. My contractions were much more painful than the needle. (I went from 0 to 10 cm in less than 8 hours, so the contractions were quite intense!) I did, however, have pain at the injection site for several weeks after delivery. But, it wasn't terrible. I was just uncomfortable in that one spot if I leaned back into a hard chair.
Another bonus of the epidural, in my experience, is that I was able to rest and save my energy for when it came time to push. That, by the way, only took me about 20 minutes. I don't know if that had to do with the epidural allowing me to have more energy when the time came, or I was just plain lucky. Maybe a little of both? Anyway, I'm due for my second daughter again soon, and I won't hesitate to have another epidural, if the pain is as bad as the first time. Good luck with everything! And congratulations on your baby!!!

hi, i got an epidural about 20 hrs into my labor (i was only about 2 cm and that was for a good 10 hrs which is why they offered it to me). the ONLY problem that i had with them actually putting the needle in was that on the 1st try they told me to position myself a certain way and in the middle of doing it i doubled over from a contraction. i told them i wish i could help them out, but i was having another contraction and they went through with giving it to me while i was doubled over. from what i can remember, i only felt a pinch (possibly because it doesn't hurt all that bad, possibly because i was having contractions for 20 hrs and that lil ol needle was nothing after all that labor). i do know that the needle (intravenous?) that they put in my arm then hand (after i accidentally ripped it out) hurt worse then the epidural needle and i've had those before. it's really not that bad, especially if you're trying to avoid labor. for me w/ certain pain i'm a huge baby, but some things pain is nothing for me. i'd say AT LEAST the 1/2 (10 hrs) of my labor was no worse then BAD menstrual cramps, the last 1/2 i was just so sick and tired of it (and exhausted) that i started to get whiny and they gave me the epidural. the c-section on the other hand, i turned into a baby w/ that one, epidural and all i cried about how it hurt and i could feel everything, and they said i had so much pain meds going through me that it was all in my head! that wasn't meant to scare you, just to prove how i too can be a baby...and the epidural, REALLY didn't bother me at all. i think out of 10 of my friends, ONLY 1 complained about it and it was for her 1st, not 2nd, not 3rd, but 1st baby and she said the nurse had NO CLUE what she was doing and stuck her 3 times BEFORE getting it right. just make sure you ask the person if they've done it before (the anesthesiologist did mine). good luck and congrats on the new lil one about to be born!

Hi K.!

I am a new first time mommy (30yrs old) with a 2 month old and I too was scared of the big epidural needle.

But when it came to actually getting it, I was so ready for it. I needed the rest and after feeling the contractions for a long time.... what was a few picks and prods at that point!

I had a really great anestheisiologist (however you spell it!). He was very calm.

The most surprising part to me was that you will probably have a contraction while they are giving you the epidural. So make sure to tell them when you are having one and remember to relax, stay calm and breathe..

Remember that all of labor is pain for a purpose and it will have a really great ending!

I got my epidural at 4cm 100% effaced (around 12pm) and had my daughter at 8:36pm that night. So it was great to get a few hours of rest while your body is still going through big contractions because you will need your strength for pushing!

Congratulations & good luck!

You can do it!

Hi there! This story is not meant to scare you but I learned a hard lesson during my labor. Like you I was all about the epidural! When the time came I welcomed the needle because it meant relief was on the way! The contractions I was having were so painful! The needle wasn't bad at all to me. Having said that, my epidural took effect and lasted for about 2 hours when I starting feeling the contractions again. They upped the dose of the epidural and the pain again went away. This happened 3 times and of course the last time it wore off was right when it was time to push! I had attended a childbirth class in which natural techniques were taught. They seemed silly at the time but I was so glad I had learned them when the time came. I have several friends that had epidurals and said they felt no pain the whole time but I would definitely recommend taking a childbirth class just in case something like this happens. At least you have something to rely on besides the meds. I know my story sounds like a nightmare but I wanted to be honest about my experience. Besides, I would do it a hundred times if I had to just to get my beautiful little girl! Once you lay eyes on your baby you'll know it was all worth it.

K., the physical pain was surprisingly the easiest part so far.... really. I am a very big chicken too, but I was able to tolerate it without drugs. It's a muscle pain, not nerve ( like an exposed root canal), for the most of times i thought that i've had some periods that are not much better. It comes and goes in waves, so you have time to rest. Last 3 minutes were earth-shuttering, but it's 3 minutes only, I did not even have time to ask for drugs... If you do deside on drugs, dont' wait too long- they may stop the process...

It's not bad and I have a real fear of needles. Before the doctor gives the epidural, she/he will give a shot to numb the back area. You will feel a slight pinch. I really don't remember feeling anything after that numbing shot. And the best part is once you get the epidural you will no longer feel any pain!!

M.

I've had an epidural 3 times in my life, once for knee surgery and for 2 deliveries. I am a self proclaimed CHICKEN and I have to say, it's not bad at all! They give you a "numbing" shot that stings like a bee sting for a few seconds and once that is over and they are inserting the epidural all you feel is pressure, like someone pressing hard on your back. Then the relief from the contractions! It's smooth sailing after that.

I will also add that with my last delivery the Dr had trouble getting it in and had to reposition it in another location, still no big deal.

Good Luck! You'll do fine!!

It all depends on what your threshold is for pain tolerance. It's a "good pain" because at the end you're getting a baby. If you have normal productive contractions, you get a break between each one. My first was induced and the contractions came on hard and strong; by the time I wanted something I was ready to deliver and when you can push, that's the best feeling ever. My second was "normal" and the contractions were regular, productive and I had no meds for pain and they weren't nearly as bad as induced contractions. The thought of someone getting near my spine with a needle was worse for me -- I delivered 2 naturally without any anesthesia. Not bad at all, I'd rather go thru childbirth again than root canal, honestly!!

Hi K.

congrats on your soon to be new arrival. My epidural was not bad. I was also afraid of the pain from delivery but my delivery was not like i expected. I had a premie and did not know that i was in labor. My contractions felt like muscle spasms. When i did go to the hospital i was surprised to find that i was already 7 cm dialated. I had them give me an epidural but didnt even need it. By the time they gave it to i was already fully dialated. Hope that is some encouragement.
Good luck

You made me laugh wth that last comment, it's obvious that you have a great sense of humor. I've had a epi. with both my labors althought i went through more than half of both labors with nothing. 30 hours with the first before an epi. and 13 hours with the second before the epi. All that aside, they insert the needle for the epi. when your having a contraction , so you are totally distracted, the needle comes out and a long flexable cathider like thing stays in dispensing the meds. Hardly felt it at all. And I asked my anesthesioligist if he was married!!! I thought it was worse getting the IV in my wrist and hand. I hate getting IVs there. And needles don't bother me one bit. You'll do fine, i'm not going to lie...labor is well...laborious. But your body knows what it is doing and you are stronger than you think. Nobody likes pain, so your not a wimp for not liking pain. Remember it will only last so long, and then it's all over. Like i said i was in (active)labor 40 hours with my daughter, almost 2 days!!After she was born the doctor said "you won't be doing that again any time soon" I looked at my daughter, and replied "i'd do it again tomorrow....if I got the same results!" You might want to take a lamaze class or some other birthing class and prepare a little, it's good to have someone to answer all your questions(can't ask a book), your husband is sure to have questions too. Good luck and best wishes for a great delivery.
P.S.(I'm having #3 in the begining of july.)

hi K.,
well i guess it depends when you get it! it didn't hurt me at all because i was at the point that i didn't care about anything and just wanted it! I was open to what ever. if i would be able to do it without epidural - good, if i would need it good too. I didn't have ANY pain for really long time, so i didn't need anything. than it suddenly came and it was really really bad pain, so than i asked for it. I was already 9 cm! my doctor still gave it to me. It was perfect!!! Because of that, i got only first doze, so i could feel everything but the pain, i wasn't completely numb which i would hate. This way i could feel my son go through my body out, which was just miraculous and i was happy i could feel that. I don't really know if i would recommend you to get it at 3 cm (for example i was 2cm constantly already 2 month before birth, which was fine as my doctor said), my friend did that even though she wasn't in pain yet and than when she was and needed it, it was already weak after bunch of hours and they didn't give her more, so than she did the worst part without. My other friend did the same and didn't even feel she needed to pee or her feet, toes, anything, it was very hard for her to push, because she had no sense...i think you should make sure if your doctor would give it to you any time (some refuse after you are 7cm) and than just get it when you need it. Don't worry, whatever pain you'll feel, if any, you'll forget it immediately after your baby is out, it is kind of beautiful pain, which disappear after little bit and than you remember just the beauty of it all. Tons of luck to you!

Wow, you've got a lot of replies! I haven't read any of them, so I may be repeating something already said. The needle and cathetor for the epidural are smaller then the needle used when you give blood. It's really just a prolonged pinch, and a good doctor will try to do it when you are not having a contraction. Otherwise you might jerk. It's not a big deal at all. Good luck, and try not to worry about it all. This is coming from a mom of 4, who has had 1 epidural, 3 spinals, and 3 c-sections. It will all be ok, and you really do basically forget about the pain once it's all over!

Well first time mom, labor is painful and anything goes once it comes. You know yourself and what you can and cannot handle so if an epidural is for you, go for it! I was in labor with my son for a day and the pain was unbearable after a while. I have a high tolerance to pain, and I thought I'd be brave and do lamaze breathing and focus...HA!!! That totally went out the window. The pain was just too much to bear and when is was time for me to make a decision, I jumped at it. You will feel pain at the insertion of the needle, but believe me, once it is in and that wonderful relief comes......ahhhhhhhhhh! One little pin prick and the rest is a piece of cake! (Wink) Believe me, that drill sized bit being plunged into your spine as you say is nothing cpompared to the labor caontractions and you will be glad you opted for it. Especially if you are a "dorky sensitive geek", this usually means you will be a chicken liver(believe me, I'm with ya' sister..LOLOLOL)This is what will happen:
The anesthesiologist will arrive and in your pregnant state, ask you to sit up at the edge of the bed or examining table. He will then ask you to place your hands behind your head and lean slightly forward, head down so your spine will curl and he has a view of all the vertebrae. If he does not do it this way, he may ask you to lay on one side and curl up in a ball for the same reason. You cannot move(yeah I know, I said the same thing)as he is doing this. Your back will be washed and a shot of a numbing agent will be given before the epidural. Then the epidural needle is placed into the epidural space around the spinal cord. A test dose is given to ensure that the epidural is in the correct place. Once this test is done the medications are set to a continuous drip. A small catheter is left in place to deliver the medications continuously throughout labor. This catheter is taped up your back so that it is difficult to remove without trying. You may be asked to lay in certain positions for awhile as the medication works with gravity. You will also have your blood pressure monitoring every few minutes, continuous fetal monitoring and other monitoring to ensure you react well with the anesthesia.Once you are numb, a urinary catheter will be placed because you can't go to the bathroom. It may sound like alot K., but it is well worth the relief you receive. When I had my daughter, I scheduled everything and again used the epidural. If you have concerns of side effects and any other worries, google "EPIDURALS" and get your facts lined up so you can ask your OB/GYN all your questions. Remember, you know what you're made of and what you are capable of and what you're not capable of. Be prepared to know all your facts and when the time comes and you want to go that route, you'll know you are doing the right thing for YOU. Good luck and I wish you a happy, healthy delivery!

The pain of labor really depends on if you're given pitocin (a drug that induces labor) THat is horrible and can make labor come on very quick. Just get the epidural as soon as possible. Then you are fine. You won't notice the needle.
Good luck!

Jenn Smith
www.saferisbetter.com/jennsmith34

It's really not that bad, just do not look at the needle. And once it's in, you will feel fine. I gave birth 3 times, didn't have it the first 2, after the third one I thought, what was I thinking. Everyone should have one!!

If you have a low pain threshold than you will welcome the needle. I have a low pain threshold as well and I was begging for the needle. I don't remember how it felt all I know was it stopped the pain I was in. Turns out I had to get an emergancy c-section after all that by that time I was in labor for 24 hours. Good luck.

Had epidurl with first child needle not that bad esp when u weigh the other options. Had no time for one with 2nd child just do it.

Anything that took away the labor pains was well worth it. Epidural also made me dilate faster. Was still at 2 cm 12 hours into labor with horrible contractions, got epidural and 1/2 hour later went from 2 cm to 10 cm. Baby boy born 10 minutes later. My only regret..........not getting the epidural sooner. And, I didn't feel a thing - I just wanted to be rid of the contractions! Good luck, mamma! :)

Hi K.,

I was very lucky to be in labor for only 8 hours. My son came two weeks early and was in a hurry to get out. LOL. Anyhow, I too was paranoid of the pain of giving birth and the epidoral. I dialated so quickly that when they were finally able to give me the epidoral, I was fully dialated and ready to go. They did not realize that I had dialated fully until after he inserted the needle and by then you are preoccupied with the labor that you don't even feel the needle. He ended up having to give me the tiniest dose possible and I felt every second of my son's birth before the medicine actually kicked in.

My advice would be to take it one step at a time. A plan is wonderful, but sometimes the baby has his/her own plan and it does not include time for epidural. So don't fret about it(like that is easy right). Did your doctor agree to give you the epidural at 3cm? Mine would only offer it after I was 4cm and by then so many others were giving birth an with only one anesthesiologist on staff, this is what happens.
Good luck and congrats.

D.

Pretty bad!!!!!!!!!!!! but it varies from woman to woman. Go with your gut and not other people's advice or warnings. The best thing to do to prepare yourself is find out how you are truly comfortable in different situations- ex. how you like to lay/sit with a back ache, do you like cold compresses on your head, do you kie your hair pulled back off your face, etc, etc. A nurse in the childbirth class said this and it was so worth thinking about all that.
And for the record, the pitocin didn't hurt like crazy (although I was always induced) and the epidural actually made my body relax and open up. The needle stings, but it's more uncomfortable trying to maintain a totally still position while having contractions and having it done. Pushing was by far the hardest for me b/c it's like you're in a marathon and it never seems to end. Learn how to push properly. And tell your partner to bring warm clothes - I froze my husband out b/c I was just so hot during labor!

Good luck!!!!!

K.,
First of all, the doctor will decide when the shot is given. Childbirth can be easy for some and difficult for others. No one can tell until you're there. Mine was difficult.Our mind can play horrible tricks on us. If you continue to look at the pain, you are working yourself up for that. One bit of advice I can give is to get your mind off the pain that might be there and get it onto the child you will be holding in your arms and loving. Every bit of pain I had was worth it and forgotten quickly once my son was placed in my arms. L.

I hardly felt my epidurals at all with either of my two children. Go for it....it's worth it!

Hi K. - first of all good luck. Labor was a great experience for me and was not really in much discomfort until about 7cm. I did not want the epidural, but was in so much pain. Before my labor my doctor told me that I could get it early in the game, but if I decided to do that, I would feel the needle much more than if I were in pain and getting the needle to relieve that pain. I got it and was able to relax, but with the weirdest sensations. Shaking, chills, and below my belly felt like I had pins and needles for the 5 hours before his birth. I am glad I went through with it, but if I had gotten it earlier I would have had to deal with those sensations for much longer. I was able to relax once I got it and was able to fully dilate. My son was my first child and I was pushing for only 10 minutes and they really believe that it was due to my body totally relaxing. Don't stress too much over it, I know because I did for about 4 months. It will be fine.....From the moment he arrived to this day I tell everyone that I had a great labor experience. I wish you the same!!

It is no big deal especially when you are dealing with that versus labor pains. The idea of it is definitely unnerving but the actuality, at least for me, was really fine.

Best of luck,
C. D.

Hi K.,
Congrats on the baby!!
I aslo am a first time mom in my mid-late 30's.
I was obessing non-stop about the pain.
I can honestly say form my expierence it was not as bad as I thought it would be. The epidural needle did not hurt at all,
And you dont even have to look at it. The nurse held me form the back while I was bending, doc put it in--some pinching but not painful. and after I gave birth he gave some more while the doctor was sewing me, I tore very lightly.
LOVED the epidural!!
I guess that is why I did not have much pain.
The most painful part for me was the contractions, I had them in my lower back.
Good luck!!!
N.

Hi K..
Well when I had my first son I had a lot of pain and wanted an epidural. However an anesthesiologist wasn't available for a little while so the nurses gave me nubain to hold me over until he could get to me. Nubain was great. It took the edge off but I could still feel the pain and pressure the further the labor progressed. So when the anesthesiologist finally came to do the epidural I was still semi numb from the nubian and didn't even feel the needle go in. Which believe me was awesome because with my second son I had no nubain and the epidural hurt bad, really bad. I practically broke the nurses fingers I squeezed them so hard. If I had to do it again, I'd ask for nubain first so I could avoid the pain of the epidural. I don't mean to scare you by any means but I just got yelled at by my cousin who just delivered her first born because I sugar coated it for her to make her feel better. I won't be doing that anymore. LOL. Good luck with your baby!

Hi K.! First, congratulations!!! I had 2 epidurals. I am also a maternity nurse who works in the hospital and sees this all the time. The only thing that hurts is the numbing shot of lidocaine that they inject in your back so that you don't feel the epidural going in. the lidocaine feels like a bee sting. Then they thread a catheter (small needle like an IV. once the needle is in place the catheter comes out into your back and the needle is removed!) into the epidural space in your back. the catheter is tiny. That doesn't hurt, but it feels weird! a kind of weird pressure sensation, but no pain!!
I hope this helps and good luck!! My philosophy was, millions of women have done this for millions of year and many have done it more than once, so how bad can it be?! LOL

K., before they put the epidural in, they will give you a shot of lidocaine in the area- it is a small needle and is like novacaine for your teeth. It burns a little bit, and then after that you should feel a lot of pressure, but you should not feel the actual epidural needle. Honestly, the worst part of the whole thing is having to stay still in the correct position during the procedure. Hope that helps!

I had a spinal twice because both my babies were c-sections! A spinal is similar to an epidural except that the needle goes even deeper! I was in NO pain at the time, having NO contractions and therefore had NO distraction! I was totally terrified, too! And... it was NOTHING! They gave me a shot to numb the area, and that was a little sting but not bad, and then the shot for the actual spinal was pressure, like someone taking a finger and pressing it against your spine for a while, but it did NOT hurt! I could NOT believe it was over when it was because I didn't feel it!!
DO NOT WORRY! It's NO BIG DEAL!!!! You'll be fine! :)
Good luck!

It's like everything else you've ever been nervous about, it's the anticipation that hurts the most...the most unbearable part is the last push...and you're very easily distracted from that the moment you see/hear your baby for the first time...I started to stress around my 8 month with my first(I was watching the baby story on TLC, I called my mom and told her I didn't think I could go through with it...she laughed and said I should have thought of that first)... anyway, it couldn't have been that bad because I did it 4 more times after that...I am a big fan of the epidural... GOODLUCK!!!!!!

Just a thought to plan ahead. I, too, was not fond of pain and was planning on an epidural. However, there were complications (everything came out fine in the end) and I couldn't get an epidural, so I had to go natural. Fortunately, I had been taking birthing classes and was prepared for (what I thought would be) this unlikely occurrence. That preparation was critical for me. So, just to be on the safe side, I suggest a back-up plan. Best wishes!

I'm a M. of 3 & had 3 totally different experiences. First time, like u, I was petrified of having a needle in my spine so I opted for the drug Saldol. Mistake! I was so out of it that I didnt really enjoy or remember my daughter being born! And the pain was still there. Labor was 9 hours.
Second child (induced) I got the epidural from persuasion of my sister-in-law who delivered 2 wks prior. Like her, they administered the epi when I was 5cm (after being unable to bear the pain anymore.)One hour later I was 10cm & ready to push. Didnt feel a thing, my mind was at ease & I enjoyed the experience.
Third time labor came on quickly (3 hours long) & by the time I got to the hospital I delivered 10 minutes later. No drugs, no nothing. Hurt like heck but I have to say it was quick & there were no monitors, IVs making me uncomfortable.
My advice..seems like 5cm is the magic number so try & hold on til then. Also, stay home as long as u can. Once u go to the hospital u are stuck on your back in bed w/ a fetal monitor and IVs & it makes it worse. When you can barely speak during a contraction, then u are ready for the hospital. Good Luck!!

Hi!
Just had to laugh ( a little!)You remind me so much of me when I was expecting my first! Don't stress! No matter what antone tells you, it really may not matter since giving birthis so different for everyone. That's the part I hated, I wanted to know soI could plan. Having said that, I will tell you the best I can. Don't get the epidural too early, it really may slow you down. If you are not dialating quickly, try to wait. |(Just a bit. I'm a big chicken too!) I waited until the contractions were pretty hard, and they hurt. I do not like needles of any kind! Honestly, the epidural did not hurt. The needle they give you to numb the area is the worst of it, and that really isn't to bad. It kind of burns for a few seconds Then you don't feel any pain. Also, by the time you get the epi, you are usually pretty excited/nervous and the adrenalin is going so I think that really helps. You know the baby is really on it's way. Soon you will finally get to hold that sweet little one! Hope that helps! Good luck, and blessing for a happy healthy baby and delivery!

I held out as long as possible for the epidural. The labor was painful, but mostly like having heavy menstrual cramps, from front to back. As long as I was walking around during each contraction, I was able to get through them ok, just holding on tight to my husband's hand. Then the doctor made me lie down to strap on a monitor for me and for baby's heartbeat. And I couldn't take it lying down so I asked for the epid. And then I didn't even see the needle, I was lying on my side facing away from it. I didn't feel it either, since my contractions were my main focus. I felt better almost immediately, well, about 5 minutes. The only problem with the epidural for me was that it SLOWED down labor and made it last longer...and the baby was ready to come out already. So I stopped dilating and they had to pump me with Oxytoxin to keep me dilating. The baby came when I wasn't fully dilated, and I had a huge episiotomy which is still sore after 3 months.

Next time I will try to go again without the epidural. The momentary pain is worth not having this long lasting pain at home when I'm trying to care 24 hours for a newborn.

I'm a chicken, too. But you will be surprised at how much you can handle, just taking one moment, one contraction at a time.

First of all let me say Congrat's to you and your husband on the soon to be new addition to your family!!!! Second: I am a mom of two beautiful girls ( 10 and 7), and I still remember how "scarey" it was for me for the first one. I heard all the horror stories for delivery when I ws excepting my first one, and I really wanted to go back to thinking that the stork was going to deliver her to my door step NOT me ( ha ha). But no matter what anyone told me EVERYBODY is different. I didn't have an epidural because I was NOT going to have someone stick a needle into my spine, but I did end up taking durgs through my IV. Now with my first one I was pulled out of work when I was only 3months along and had NO energy, and ended up getting sick so I laid on the couch / bed for the majority of my pregnancy. My second child I didn't feel like that at all and ended up working until 2 weeks prior to having her ( I had soooooooo much energy during my second), and what a difference between the two labor's. I am not saying that you need to go jogging, BUT keep walking it does make it A HECK OF ALOT easier when the time comes. Now I am not going to go through what my first felt like because I think your nervous enough, but it was due to the fact that I didnt do anything during my pregnancy. My second child felt more like PMS cramps at it's worse. Talking to my Dr afterwards it is because I was more active during the 9 months prior. When the big day arrives your going to have so much going on that your NOT going to thinking about the "pain" of the needle, and in the end when you hold your new baby for the first time you'll have a feeling that only a mom can have!!!! And from that point on you'll be a "chicken" for whole other reasons NOT because you can't tolerate pain ( trust me I know I have!!) So relax listen to advice that people give you and like someone else has told you in a prior response be prepared to be flexiable on the day)!!!!!!! GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS!!!!!!!! enjoy the little one because they won't stay that little for long!!!!!!!

K.,

I really can't believe some people have written their terrible birth stories knowing how nervous you are! Every birth is different, so please don't fret. And you know what they say about the best laid plans! As others have suggested, make sure you have an advocate who can express your wishes if you are unable.

I suggest you get a big birthing/exercise ball. I spent the first 2 hours of labor on it (rolling my hips around and bouncing up and down rythmically were very soothing during contractions) and by the time we got to the hospital and they checked me I was 7 cm dilated! I got my epidural, took a 4 hour nap and began pushing. Less than 30 minutes later my daughter was born - all 9lbs/5 oz of her! About 9 hours total from the first contraction to the birth. The epidural was painless - a pinch, some pressure and it was over. Just remember, the epidural slows down labor so I suggest you wait as long as you can to get it (plus you don't want it to wear off in the middle of pushing like some people mentioned can happen). Try other things like the ball, walking, or dancing with your husband to relieve the discomfort of the contractions. There's no reason to prolong the process by getting the epi too early! Stay on your feet as long a possible so gravity can work with your body to get the baby out quickly!

Congratulations and best of luck for a quick, painless delivery!

when the contractions get worse the needle wont be a problem. you would probaly be welcoming it. i personely didnt even feel it. i just wanted the pain of the contractions to stop and i was in labor for 15 hours before they decided that i was going to need a c-section. try not think of the needle so much but think of it as a pain reliever.

K.,

It all depends on the individual and the situation. I know the stories I just read as replies sound REALLY scary, but please note thqat even those women, most have more than one child. So they were willingto go through it all again!!

I have a VERY high tolerance for pain. I live with rheumatoid arthritis in nearly all of my joints, so you've got to go a pretty far way to impress me with pain. (I'm the person who doesn't take the pain drugs for c-section recovery) For me the needle was no big deal.

In the end, it doesn't really matter. The needle will hurt less overall than the contractions would without it. Even if something happens and you "Miss the window" you'll still make it through. Even in the worst cases, labor happens for a day. ONE DAY. You can do anything for one day. You will make it through, as the billions of mothers who have walked the earth from the dawn of time have made it through. Of course it's scary, and since every Mom out there LOVES to tell their war stories from labor and delivery, it seems like a nightmare. It's not, you'll be okay, and what you get in return will make it seem like cakewalk. When you see that baby's face, you will be pretty sure you would walk through fire for that little angel. And labor isn't as bad as that.