Adoption Advice - Fairfield,CT

Good for you! I wish there were more people in the country willing to open their hearts to adoption. My mother and aunt were adopted as young children ( 3 and 4) so, yes, you can adopt a healthy caucasion child, especially a toddler.

Start calling different agencies and set up interviews. The process is extensive and fostering is different than adopting. I have three friends who foster children and they truly amaze me in their ability to love a child so much who will likely leave them quickly.

Please keep in mind, though, that while you can find a child who is healthy medically an "older child" may have some true anxiety and later abandonment concerns to deal with, so "taking up time" WILL come with the territory.

Good luck and best wishes!

No offense but you have three children already...why not concentrate on providing the best opportunity for them. I too have three children and wanting to provide the best balance of giving each undivided attention is a challenge. Your children are small and still have many needs.... What an adjustment they'll have to go through if you do adopt. Even with an older child you never know their background and what trama or illness they have...

My very first question on here EVER was about adoption. If you go waaay back under my questions, you'll find it. I got a TON of great advice, check it out, good luck, and best wishes!! :)

OKAY because it's so old, I thought I'd save you the trouble, here's the link:

http://www.mamapedia.com/questions/12861503408716120065

My sister and her husband adopted their 4th child as well. Their older three were 8, 6, and 2.5. They adopted a newborn boy from Ethiopia, and I believe the whole process took about a year, including all the home study, background checks, approvals, courts, etc. I believe the country had some requirement about age, had to be a certain age difference between the adopted child and other children in the home, 1 yr I think. He is 3 now and such a joy to not only my sisters family but all of our extended family as well. They stay in close contact with other adopting families they met during their stay in Ethiopia to get him. I think it will be nice for him to grow up knowing other children like him that were adopted from Ethiopia. They also got a chance to meet his birth parents, which they were really happy about. They are required to write a letter and send pictures to the orphanage once a year. A copy of this is also given to the adoption center in the village where is birth parents live, so if they want to see how he is doing they have access to those pictures and letters. I don't have any other experiences to share, but just wanted to let you know they had a really great experience adding their fourth child through adoption. I wish you the best.

Just wanted to remind you that health is not guaranteed. One minute a child can be "healthy" and the next something awful can happen. Just wanted to politely say keep that in mind since you already have 3 small children who still need you so much. Good luck though, I have always wanted to adopt as well. Or maybe just foster.
Lynsey

I suggest you contact a reputable adoption attorney in your area. He/She will be able to tell you what to do. I'd give you the name/number of our attorney, but he is in New York (Nassau County). He was recommended by friends of ours who also adopted. (My husband & I adopted a beautiful newborn caucasian girl from the U.S. (see my profile pic) in August of 2007.) I understand that somewhat older children have been adopted in this way, but I think it's more common for newborns to be available for adoption (because the longer birthmothers keep their babies, the less likely they are to allow them to be adopted later). Good luck to you! Please send me a message if you would like to chat more about this. :) -W.