9 Month Old with MAJOR Sleep Problems at Naps and Night Time

Pick a strategy, and stick to it. You have to "outlast" him. Taking him out and driving around isn't the answer unless you're prepared to do that indefinitely, including in the night. A noise machine will help simulate the car noise. Babies don't have "separation anxiety" at naptime and bedtime. They may not want to go to bed, but it's not because they miss mommy, it's because they've grown enough to know there's other things to be doing. At 9 months, he doesn't need to eat at night, period. You can't stop him from sitting up in his crib, so give him something for teething before you put him down, and walk away. This is what we call the tail wagging the dog. Get some earplugs and let him fuss, he'll sleep when he learns that he's not getting up to play or go for a drive.

He may have acid reflux. Laying flat may be the issue, since he seems to sleep okay in your arms and in the car seat. You might check with your pediatrician to see if this is a possibility. Good luck....I feel your pain. Mine's two years old now and still has sleep issues!

I didn't pick my boys up when they cried during the night at that age. I did go in and sit in a chair next to the crib and patted their bacsk until they went back to sleep. Maybe he just needs to know you are there.

I have to agree with Nancy. Pick a strategy or style and stick to it. If you are tired of the "cry it out" style of sleep training, then co-sleeping may work for you. Just be prepared for what this will mean in the future when you are trying to get him to self soothe at night and sleep alone in his bed. I would also like to recommend a projector for the side of his crib. Both of my boys have one and are wonderful sleepers. Fisher Price or VTech make them. I used the Richard Ferber "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" book with great success. It was recommended by a friend of mine that is a doctor. Another great book is "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. Perhaps that be a good method to try since the cry it out method is not working for you guys.
I hope you get some rest soon! Keep us posted on what works for you. Good luck and God bless!!!

No advice here, just sympathy. My 3-month-old has always been a terrible sleeper. It's up several times at night and each nap is an ordeal. I feel your pain.

My 9-month-old has just started doing the same things. She's resisting a little bit at nap time, but I believe that she is just cutting a nap. Until recently, she has taken three naps per day. On the days where I have cut it to two naps she has done way better and really not resisted the nap at all.

She doesn't cry when we put her to bed at all, but for the past few weeks she has been doing the same thing. Granted she has been sick, but also, she has gotten four more teeth in the last month. Technically, only three teeth as the fourth one is coming through now. Usually, she will do this for only two or three nights and then after that she is back to normal.

It is tough though. Last night, she woke up screaming at 11:10 and I had to go in and walk with her for about one hour. After I put her down, she continued to cry every so often, but it wasn't awful like it was. I had to just let her go on for a bit because I knew she was tired. While my husband and I want her to know that we are there if she needs us, we also know that she has to be able to console herself at a certain point.

All that to say, we get her to the point where she is calm and not inconsolable and then let her get herself back to sleep. Now, this doesn't always happen on the first try. Sometimes I walk with her and sing for 30 minutes then put her down and if she cries for the next five or ten minutes straight then I go back in and do the same thing, but if you put him down and he isn't crying inconsolably then maybe just try letting him cry off and on and then going back or he will put himself to sleep. Oh..and I also put a teething ring in with my daughter when I lay her back down for the final time.

Hopefully this helps. You know your baby though so this may or may not work for him, but just thought I would let you know that you are not alone and this too shall pass!

I noticed below that one of the people mentioned sleep training. We did sleep training at around 7 months and used the Ferber method. When I said that she goes back to normal after a few nights of waking up, I meant to sleeping from 7 p.m. to around 5:45 when she nurses (she goes back down after that) and then sleeps until about 6:30 or 7 a.m. If he's not going back to that or if it seems more like habit than anything then I don't know if I would recommend picking him up. I am picking my daughter up because we have gone through sleep training and I know that she is in pain/teething and at one point was sick. If after this tooth she doesn't go back to normal then we will be back at square one and start sleep training again. Anyway, just wanted to let you know that if you've done it and he's not teething or whatever then you might just need to repeat the process.

Okay, I'm an AP style parent. I just wanted to let you know that in advance.

I would suggest getting a carrier (wrap, ring sling, ergo, what ever you like) and wear your little one for his naps. Sleep begets sleep, so not getting good naps will not help when it comes time for bed at night. One your little one has nodded off in the carrier you can continue to wear him or you can remove the carrier, preferable with him still in it so you can wrap him up in it for the nap (this can be done at bed time too). This way he can still smell you and will still feel like he is being held close. As for bed time, what I would do is simply co-sleep! You'd be amazed how much more sleep you get when you don't need to get out of bed to nurse and your LO is waking up looking for you. It's also the biological norm for our species. We were not mentally or physically designed to sleep alone so it's natural for him to be waking in the middle of the night looking for you.

If your aren't okay with actually bringing your son into you bed full time there are more options there as well. You can get a co-sleep that attaches to the side of your bed or you can simply side car the crib (this way he never gets unused to his own crib he just get to be closer to you while he's in it). If your son's nursery is child safe you could skip the crib all together and put a twin or full mattress of the floor. That way you can lay with him in the bed as he needs you and if he wakes in the middle of the night or after naps there is no fear of him getting hurt by falling off the bed. This option keeps him in his own room but also means you may spend a little time sleeping in his room as he needs it.

He is still so little and is trying to tell you that he needs you while he sleeping and not just while he is awake. This is a very hard age on both of you since he needs you just as much if not more than he did as a newborn. He is finally becoming aware of the world around him and that there is more to life than just mommy and milk. This is a very scary and very wonderful idea for your little man. If you give him this little extra attention now as he needs it (even though it harder on you) you will be rewarded in the end.

Unfortunately, from my experience (I have a 3 year old and 17 month old, and another on the way), this is VERY normal for that age. Both my boys went through hard sleep stages when they were teething particularly. And also when they were hitting developmental milestones. Plus once they can stand or sit up in their crib it can also cause problems!

The solution - well you will probably get a million, and some are going to appeal, while some will not! But at some point your little guy has to figure out how to fall asleep on his own and self-sooth. Whether you decide to let him cry-it-out (despite the choking and dramatics - I've sooooo been there), or go with some other sleep method, it's probably going to be a hard few days/week, until he gets the hang of it.

What kind of items do you have for me when he falls asleep? Does he take a paci or have a small blanky or lovey? Do you have a "fun" mobile for him that he can watch while he falls asleep? My 17 month old LOVES the projection mobile that I have for him, and it's been a lifesaver. It plays lullabies and projects a cute little scene onto the ceiling.

Also, try giving him motrin before bed to see if the teething pain is a major contributor.

Unfortunately I think the solution is letting him cry until he realizes he is going to need to self-soothe, and give him some "tools" to help him - ie mobile/paci/blanky, etc.

GOOD LUCK! This is very normal and WILL pass.

K