8Yr Old Daughter Developing Early

Try a cami tank. It is a tank top with a built in shelf bra. Limited Too( now Justice ) sells them.
I started my daughter with them and she loves them.
Also tell her it is in compliance with the school dress code that a girl with breasts needs to wear a bra.
Good Luck

I know exactly why your daughter does not want to wear a bra. At this age, she does not want to be the only one wearing one. It is hard enough for girls in older grades to transition into bras. She could also be a little uncomfortable about her changing body. Again, if she is the first one to start developing, it is scary and embarrassing.. Then if she is very modest, it can be hard for her to speak about it, even with her mom about such things.

Maybe you could get her a book that talks about her changing body and you 2 can read it together. Also tell her that her nipples will become more and more sensitive and it is going to hurt when she least expects it from the rubbing of the fabric.

We have a very good friend who has a daughter that experienced exactly this same early puberty. He daughter was mortified and would cover her ears, when her mother would try to speak with her. Finally, the mom told the rest of the family (in the house) not to mention anything about this to that daughter. They were act as though there were no changes. This helped the mom reassure her daughter, she was still the baby in the family and she was safe at home from any teasing.

She was also very athletic so they found some soft tank tops for her to wear. The mom also began shaving her daughters underarms and taught her daughter how to use deodorant.

One of the things the little girl was worried about was, what would she do at sleepovers? The mom told her to just keep the tank top on and sleep in it like a pajama top, or put a pajama top over the tank. She was able to find photos in a Seventeen magazine of girls wearing this type of thing for pj's.

This is becoming more and more common. By 4th grade, you will notice most girls wearing little bras or undershirts.

Oh, my--I was that 8yo girl. She might just want to avoid drawing attention to things being different. Maybe you can get her some snug-fitting tank tops and make her layer her clothes. I honestly do not understand what you mean when you say that she "refuses" or "won't" because she shouldn't have the option of NOT wearing something. She can have the option of which one(s) to wear. I haven't done this myself with a girl, but my friends who have girls just did what my mother did with me. She came to me one Saturday afternoon and told me that it was time for me to wear this bra and as I got older we could shop for some different styles, etc. I did not have the option of wearing very thin bras because, as she explained to me, I needed more protection and could choose something else when I got old enough, etc.

Hi A.,
I didnt have an issue with the bra, but did with the growing pains. My daughters would come home from school and be really grouchy or cry miserably. Once I determined that it was not due to something happening at school, no teacher or classmate or classwork problem, I knew it was hormonal. They would say that something must be wrong with them that they were so sad, angry, grouchy for no reason. I recommend a warm bubble bath and hot chamomile tea. Both gave them the comfort they needed and I explained that it feels strange when their bodies and feelings are changing and they think nobody understands or has been through that kind of situation. I told them they were normal, could tell me/ask me anything and I would tell them the truth. Sometimes they wanted hugs and kisses and other times they didnt want me to look at them. I just took their lead. It all works out. HTH

I noticed no one has mentioned that maybe the bra signifies growing up to her and she's scared because she knows she's not ready. I would assure her there are other girls who have to wear camis early and I wouldn't call them "bras." I would just buy the shelf support camis that Limited and even Gymboree sell. And say "these are for girls *your* age." And let her know, she won't have to wear a bra for a couple more years, she can just wear camis.

Good luck! And remember, she might just been feeling scared. Can you imagine how unfair it must feel to her? Poor baby. Give her a hug for me.

((hugs for you too))
E.

I went thru a similair thing when I was younger...but I started to understand more when my friend started going thru it and my cousin, a very cool cheerleader, sat me down and had a talk with me...Having this happen at such a young age is difficult, just let her know you are there for her and dont ever say or do things to embarress her...very sensitive...good luck

A.,
That is funny that you posted this.. Sorry to laugh, but I have two girls 7 &9 and all they talk about is bras.. My mother went out and bought them the little training bras and panties sets and they wear them constintely.. (SP). And neither have breast buds yet.. but there friends do, so it is the cool thing right now. SO I have the opposite reaction.. what a small world. I found a book by the American girl at Target, called something like the care of you...with three little girls on the cover. It teaches them tons of stuff about caring for themselves, goes from bathing, to shaving, to periods, to boobs etc. GREAT BOOK... and it helped my 9 year old understand what some of her friends are going thru and what she will need to eventually. Get the book if you can and read it to her, it helps. Good luck and God Bless.

Sometimes kids will react and respond completely different to someone other than their parents... Do you have any cousins or young aunts who she looks up to? Or a friend who maybe has a young daughter who wears a bra? If your daughter can see that its cool to wear a bra and be influenced by someone else she might change her tune. Good luck! : )

I would ask if you've included her in the selection process of these items?

My daughter started off wearing undershirts in 2nd grade and we wore a pull over bra beginning with 3rd grade (she's now 9yo). Each time I purchased any pull over bras I always included her in the selection process so that she could pick the colors / prints / etc - it's her underwear and she needed a say in the process (I don't want someone picking our my underwear).

Another thing you might want to include in the process that we found to be very helpful is a book by American Girl called All About Me. It covers topics from braces, to bras, to periods, to various body odors. It's an easy read for the girls but also allows parents to be interactive in the process and answering questions.

Good luck with this one - it can be a difficult situation.

When my niece went through this a year ago, Hannah Montana training bras are what finally broke down the resistance to wearing a bra. Does your daughter have a favorite "star" or character that might be equally enticing?

i was an early developer myself. got my period when i was nine. the other kids poked fun of me for wearing a bra so i did not till i was older. you need to explain ( in a fun up beat not so serious voice ) about why women need to wear bras. also find some loose fitting clothing that she can wear to hide the bras better. Do you remember getting bra snaped? this isnt a fun time for her. it might be more of the reactions of others than her not wanting to wear one. tell her she has to and teach her to stick up for her self when people snap her bra or tell a teacher. be patient and kind with her. i remember my mom getting so serious and not always showing me how to act when this time came around.

Bless your hearts. I had severe growing pains in my legs as a kid. My grandma would rub omega oil on my legs. It worked great. Could also try arnica. It's really good too. Also a hot Epsom salt bath is another great remedy. Good luck