8-Month Old NOT Breastfeeding to Sleep

Have you tried helping him get to sleep while breast feeding before he's overly tired? It may be he's just too tired to focus on anything including feeding.

Walking to help him go to sleep is a common way to help babies get to sleep. I wouldn't be concerned. You have him most of the time. Why not let his Dad have success with this one thing? I also suggest that he would probably go to sleep if you walked him without trying to breast feed him. Try holding him in a way so that he's not facing the breast.

Sounds to me that you're doing just fine.

Although is it sad to not be getting that sweet drifting off to sleep while nursing and snuggle feeling all the time (and he may start again) it is a very good thing to not be the only one who can easily put your child to sleep. My 2 1/2 year old sometimes falls asleep at night while nursing (and always at naptime) but more often now, he stays up when we do the before bedtime nurse, goes into his crib and listens while my husband and I sing bedtime songs to our older children (he gets to pick a song now too) and then his dad takes him and sings to him and rocks him to sleep. I think part of it is that he really enjoys this little bit of alone time with his dad -- he doesn't get much of that, particularly during the week with his dad working, and I think sometimes he really tries to stay up so that he can get it.

Another thing -- is it getting hot where you are? I'm going on my 9th year of nursing (3 kids, all weaned at about 3 years old) and nursing during the hot summer months can be very very uncomfortable just because it gets so very hot. Could he be getting too warm to comfortably fall asleep?

My 19mo daughter is similar to your son. She nurses for 10-15 minutes but in the past month has asked to go to bed to fall asleep on her own instead of nursing to sleep as she had been. It may just be a phase, or it may be he wants his own space (like another mom suggested). Personally, I see it as a good thing, as it shows that she's able to put herself to sleep, which IMO should make it easier for her to fall asleep on her own as she gets older and especially after she weans. Yes, I miss the cuddle time, but the breast is not something I EVER want to force :) Sometimes, us mamas just need to let go... HARDER than it sounds, I know!!!!!

Not to sound careless or flip, but if your son wants to put himself to sleep, I don't see how it's a problem. Sure, you want that snuggle time but if he can get himself to sleep, then let him work it out. I agree w/the other responses; teething, over-tired, growth spurt, or too hot. Try getting him settled for bed maybe a half hour earlier & see if nursing him works then otherwise, I agree w/the response of putting him to bed & letting him work it out. Could be that he just wants a bit of space or to be in bed & work it out for himself. Good luck!

Maybe he's just too tired by the time you start? or maybe he's not hungry? My boy was ALWAYS gassy and I used tummy massage to help him relieve it. Since you say he seems to want your breast at the same time he doesn't, I wonder if a pacifier might help- then you can hold him while he drifts off?

Is he teething?

Babies, when teething may 'seem' to reject nursing.

Is your milk production/output, the same, now????
Do you still have an overabundant milk supply???

Does he nurse, at other times????
Or is it only at bedtime, that he does not?

It also seems, that your baby is gassy.
You said he squirms/whines/grunts/twists/farts.
These are 'gas' symptoms.
Try Mylicon Infant Gas drops.

At this age, distraction is a major issue. As long as everyone is sleeping and nursing - I wouldn't worry. Looks like he's making up for losing daytime nursing overnight - which is also very normal at this age.

I would try humming - whether a tune or just sounds... doesn't matter.

I know for my daughter (9 months) she has ALWAYS wanted me to put her down to sleep, and will grunt and wiggle while nursing when she just wants to be put down to conk out. Maybe he's overly tired and really just needs/wants to go to sleep. I would try just putting him down and letting him work himself to sleep--my son was like your daughter and would only fall asleep nursing, but my daughter just needs to be by herself to drift off. She would fuss a little but never for more than 2 or 3 minutes--and it was mostly just like talking herself to sleep. She is 9 months old and sleeps 11-12 hours/night and only occassionally will she wake up for a feeding around 5 a.m., then goes back down for a couple more hours. Good luck!

You could try wearing one of those teething bling necklaces while he nurses and it would give him something to look at, hold, and fidget with while you nurse him. It might just be enough to get him past this phase and happily nursing again. Good luck.

Do you think he is self weaning? Have you tried putting him to sleep with a bottle? Have you tried feeding him before he gets too tired? My almost 9 month old has to have a bottle to go to sleep now, which is actually really nice. I just lay him in his crib with a bottle until he drifts off.

If I remember correctly my daughter(middle child) was the same with me...I was sad at first b/c night time snuggling was the better part of my day! But, she just wanted to be put down (luckily she took a pacifier and could self soothe). My oldest liked to fall asleep breastfeeding when a baby and lying close when older to get to sleep....I just assumed all babies were the same. I was so beside myself wondering how I would put 2 kids to sleep but realized the fussiness of my daughter and not wanting to be held was a blessing because if I put her down in her crib she put herself to sleep most of the time. She was always a better sleeper than my first at naptime and night-time. I hope you figure it out soon but I think this is sometimes natural for infants to not want to be held when sleepy. Good Luck to you.