7 Year Girl Crying Alot

When she asks for attention are you often too busy at the moment? I see this as a common problem with my grandchildren. When they need/want something is often at an inopportune time. I could see a child then saying what they've been told.

I suggest it's important to validate her sad feelings. Let her cry. Comfort her. Eventually she'll get over feeling sad as long as she knows it's OK to feel sad. I don't know how to explain it but it works. When we tell children they shouldn't feel sad or shouldn't cry it makes them feel even more sad and like crying. They need to know that their feelings are a OK. When we tell them in action or words that the crying is unacceptable they then feel that they are unacceptable. Feelings are a part of who we are.

My suggestion then is to give her a hug when she cries. Ask her what's wrong and listen to her answer without judgment. Same for your son. Sympathize. "I hear you don't want to brush your teeth. It's tough but I want you to have healthy teeth and so you must brush." or "I see brushing your teeth makes you angry. You don't like me to tell you what to do. It's OK to be angry but you still have to brush your teeth." That sort of thing.

A phrase I learned while in counseling with my daughter was "it's tough to be you" said in a sympathetic tone of voice. I use if fairly often when I can't think of anything else to say and it seems to help.

I also suggest you read the book, How to Talk so You Kid will listen and Listen so your Kid will TAlk by Mazliesh and Faber.

She needs private time with each of you. A trip to the library or just to help you shop while her brother has time with Dad. These little outings are very important as is reading those books she takes out to her.

The new baby probably has something to do with it. Keep in mind that the baby is only 4 mos old and the other kids are older. Watch for cues from them and dont lose your focus. The 4 mo old wont suffer near as much by you putting him in a swing for a bit while you stop to color with the 4 or 7 yr old for a bit to remind them that they are still very important.

My oldest son was a little like that -- desperate for attention -- but then he would push you away when you tried to give it to him. It's a way for them to keep control and not be rejected.

Force the attention on her. Just find a way that she will accept, and don't be annoyed or offended when she pushes you away. Attention-hound kids can be pretty tiring, but they do need it, and by 13, I guarantee you she won't want that attention any more.

Ask her what she wants. Maybe take her out someplace special, just you and she, once a week.

She could be going through that period in her life where her body is getting ready to start her period. The overly emotionaly stage can last for a good long time, and girls are starting earlier and earlier.

My girls were both more emotional at that age and it seems like my boys cried more between the ages of 3-8. You'll have to keep an extra eye on what's happening when she's crying. I'm either sympathetic and comforting or I discipline them (after warning them) depending on why they're crying. Otherwise, they'll outgrow it. Good luck!

She is starting to have changes that are not noticeable to the naked eye. As they reach this age they are growing their adult feet, ears, hands, nose and septum, brow bone, jaw, etc...they have minor pain all the time and just are too busy to notice it. Also those girl and boy parts inside are maturing slowly and are starting to send out hormones even though they are not showing the outward signs yet.

Give her some Midol and see if a very minimal dose, maybe half a pill, makes a difference. My MIL gave them to my FIL for migraines and he said nothing had ever worked that well before and he still takes them for the headaches, a MS RN friend of mine started giving her kids ones at 7 and 8 and the change in them was remarkable. They would come in from school this little monsters and in about a half hour they were friendly and happy little kids again.