My five yr old iis not listening to me. It was not problem before. She was a very good listener untill my sister and her children move in. They have finally move outand I cant seem to get things back in order. She is backtalking me and her father messing with stuff she knows she is not allowed to and when asked why she saids because her cousins can. Is this just a stage she is going though or is she just acting out.
Regroup with a meeting and posting of YOUR house rules. Put them on our kitchen wall. Explain that all households may have different rules, but THESE are the rules in your house. Discipline for breaking the rules--what works for you--time outs, losing a privilege, etc. Be very consistent. Good luck!
Hello A.,
It's probably a little of both. When changes occur in the home, children often test the limits to see what they can get away with. Also, 5 year olds test limits just as a part of grouing up.
I suggest you tell your daughter that her cousins have different rules, because there Mom is a different person, but you have these rules and they need to be followed. I also suggest, especially when there is a power struggle occuring, write the house rules down and review them with your child. This eliminates confusion.
Next, be consistent about your rules and consequences. If she know every time she talks back she must do a chore for you, she will learn not to talk back quickly.
I hope this helps.
R. Magby
She is just pushing to see what she can get away with. I would suggest that you sit down and have a family meeting. During the meeting you need to set forth the rules and consequences. Let her have input into these things. If you just do it then it is just rules that the adults made up, when you let her have input then she feels that you are listening to her, respecting her and she will be more willing to follow the rules. The other thing is you must be consistent with both the rules and consequences. Example, Mon- she backtalks, consequence- time out. Tuesday- more backtalk, cons. none because you are too busy making dinner etc... If you have this approach then she will quickly learn that if your busy then she can get away with things. If you remain constant with the rules-consequences then she will learn that if she does this action this will be the consequences.
My youngest son has a best friend that when he wants something he will just keep asking until he gets it. He wanted my son to come up to his house but my son did not have his room cleaned up so he could not go. The friend consistently called our house asking me if my son could come up yet. After 3 phonecalls in 3 minutes, I told him that if he called again my son would not be allowed to come up at all. He said ok- 5 minutes later he called. I stuck to my guns and did not allow my son to go up that day. The next day his friend came to the door and asked if he could play. My son had his chores finished so I let them play. He thought that my son just did not want to play the day before, my son said no, Mom would not let me come up because you kept calling, he could not believe it so he came and asked me, I gave the same answer. His reply was "Wow, at my house I just keep asking until my parents let me do what I want. Can't your son do the same thing?" My answer was no, I told you that if you called again and you did that he could not play. That is what happened. So if you want your children to follow rules all the time then you must be consisitent with it. Good Luck!
