5 Yr Old and Ear-piercing

Sorry not old enough to take care of them. Does she get everything she asks for? 10 yo was the earliest I would let my girls do it if they wanted to.

I suggest that testing her is unfair. She's nearly 5 and you're setting her up to fail. You know she won't be able to accept those responsibilities. You've already decided she's not getting her ears pierced. A good decision, I think, since you're expecting her to be able to take care of them. She's too young to take care of pierced ears. So just tell her no, that you'll revisit this when she's older.

Be honest with her. Tell her she's too young to take care of pierced ears by herself. Drop the big girl talk. Don't let her think she can do big girl responsibilities when she's 5.

You already know she is too immature. I agree with the other post that "testing" her is setting her up to fail. I am not sure I understand your philosophy of "doing it when they ask" - that's not how you base your other parenting decisions, whether it's what toy to buy or what school to send them to or how late they should stay up or what they should eat for dinner. YOU decide what's best. Most kids at 5 just can't manage the ear care, and there is a high percentage of infections in younger children compared to older kids. Then the parents have to take out the earrings, let the holes close up, and re-pierce years later. Waste of money.

I think you should decide now what age the kids need to be for ear piercing, same as cell phones and iPads and PG-13 movies and so on. So tell your daughter that you've decided that pierced ears are for older girls and that she needs to be 8 (or 10, or 12, whatever you think) and stick to it. Or, decide that you will reevaluate on her next birthday or on New Year's Day - some logical milestone. You can say you will see how mature and responsible she is overall, but it can't be something like "no reminders for feeding the cat" - that puts too much on her and sets her up to fail every week!

One thing I saw on line for increasing responsibility was a mom who had a big bin for all the stuff that the kids lost or left lying around (sneakers, toys, lunch boxes, markers, you name it). She tossed everything into the bin, and on the side was an envelope with a bunch of strips of paper with chores in them. In order to retrieve an item from the bin, the child needed to choose a job and complete it. She could then take the ONE item. If she wanted a 2nd item, she had to do a chore. It helps make kids more responsible about their stuff and it gets them to start to appreciate the number of jobs that have to be done every day to keep a household running smoothly. The more kids complain and the less they adjust their bad habits, the less ready they are for increased "big kid" privileges. You might think about trying this. I wish someone had suggested it to me when my kid was 5!!

Good luck!

Wait, kids aren't supposed to draw on themselves with markers? My adult children seem to have not gotten that memo. They draw on themselves when they are bored, their younger siblings, anything really. I have raised a house of human graffiti artist lol

Either pierce her ears, cause you think it's the right time, or don't pierce them. Testing a 5 year old is just setting her up to fail. She's a child, not an adult. She will be a child even if she passes your test. Her ears being being pierced is not going to suddenly have her acting like a 'big girl'.

My girls ears have been pierced from 1 month to 9 years old. I personally find it easier to care for when they are younger and I have more control.

I don't quite get how this is a big girl privilege? It's obviously something even babies get done. I get what you're saying about waiting until she asked for her ears to be pierced. I did the same thing. And my daughter has a poor track record with shots so I did not sugar coat that ear piercing was like getting shots in the ears. She's that kid who's crying in the waiting room waiting to see the doctor. I totally tried to discourage her. I was so afraid we'd do one ear and she'd freak and that would be it. We let her do it after she turned 5 (was part of her birthday present) and the screaming flailing girl at the pediatricians office sat like a statue to have it done. She did great! After you get through the 6 week period of turning and swabbing the earrings which she couldn't really do (I did to make sure it was done right), I'm not sure what other maintenance is involved? All we do is change her earrings out once in a while. Now if you don't trust her to leave her ears alone, then I'd maybe tell her she needs to wait until she is 6 (or however old). I agree with the not testing her as that seems a little unfair. If you think you have to test her, she's probably not quite ready. Good luck mom! :)

The care is going to have to be mostly on you whether or not she can feed the cat, unless you wait until she is a teen. My son got his pieced at 3. He still draws on himself with markers, and I would not put the life of our cat in his hands alone, and he is almost 8 now! But earrings don't take a lot of care once they are healed, so it is really just about the first few weeks, and then occasional checks and jewelry changes.

I really do not understand why people find this to be such a big deal. My daughter wanted her ears pierced when she was 4. No, she doesn't get everything she asks for, but yes, she did get them pierced. No, she was not able to clean them herself and I did not expect her to as I wanted to make sure it was done right. Besides the initial cleaning for the first 6 weeks -- yes, I was able to take 30 seconds out of my day to do this for her -- there is no other maintenance.

It is not the right time for her to get her ears pierced. She would play with them more than clean them and they would become infected. Not a pretty sight. My friend did her daughter's at about this age and it was not what either planned. They wound up taking the earrings out and letting the holes close. I don't know if she had them redone as we moved away a little after this.

I had my daughter's ears pierced when she was three months old. I would be cleaning and bathing so it was easier to do them. She would have come out of hospital had I known I had a pair of earrings with me.

Each culture and family have reasons why they do or do not pierce ears.

I would not make it a test of responsibility as the child does not know what that is about. Make it a rite of passage at 10 or 12 or 14.

Good luck to you both.

the other S.

The rule was in my house growing up was that you can get your ears pierced when you were old enough to take care of them.

I hear you! My daughter just got hers done at 7. It seemed to me if it wasn't done effortlessly in infancy it sort of becomes a "thing" when they're older so I was unsure of timing too. I decided to wait until she asked consistently for a while, not just the first time she asked in case she didn't really care about it.

Once she was asking regularly I decided to make it a special privilege so she would enjoy them all that much more, so I set a goal of her getting through the violin book she had started and completing a recital she was working hard on (process took about 5 months). She was so excited practicing to do well knowing she would be getting pierced ears after as a bonus. Once she played her recital and still wanted the ears done, we set a date and went and she was soooooo excited to pick the earrings etc. I had no idea how expensive the earrings were though! Free piercing at Claires but $60 for earrings. I should have let her save her allowance too, but didn't want to go back on our deal :)
It was fun making it a goal and a celebration. It's fine to just let her have them too. Like everything in life, it's up to you how to treat it! My suggestion would be to wait a bit to see how serious she is about it or if she forgets completely.

***Also, my daughter is very mature, I knew I could rely on her not to mess with her ears and to remind ME to help her clean them :) She works hard around here helping with younger siblings, doing lots of schoolwork and music practice and chores. If she was drawing on her face etc I'd give it more time :)

My daughter is 5 and has gone back and forth about getting her ears pierced, and I keep telling her it will be when she is really ready, but it will be conjunction with a birthday. We have basically the same conversation every 1 to 2 months. She suddenly thinks she wants it done, she wants to do it TODAY, I remind her that they have to poke a hole in each ear and while it's not too bad, it does pinch for a second. I also remind her that they need to be kept clean every day for 6 weeks after and she needs to be ok with me doing that. She whines and fusses about it and I say, look, it's not going to happen today, we will do it for a birthday when you are really ready - whether that is 6, 8, 10, or whatever. She drops it for a while and then a few months later it starts all over again. Truth is, I don't think she would be good for it and that's why I am holding off. And while I always said we would do it when she asked for it, I think right now it's more a passing fancy, and her seeing other girls with real earrings and wanting that too. But if she can't accept a little bit of inconvenience and discomfort in order to have pierced ears, it's not happening.

I would not set her up to fail either. I would just pull the "Mama knows best" trump card and tell her not now - she can wait until she is older. You will know when she naturally starts displaying more maturity, can handle more responsibilities on her own, and has better impulse control.

ETA: They do make little tiny sticker earrings as well as magnetized and clip-on earrings, so girls can look/feel like they are wearing earrings without actually going through with getting them pierced. This as satisfied by DD for the time being.

We're waiting until our daughter is 10, she turns 8 next weekend. I think a child should be able to take care of them herself and for some reason 10 sounds like a good age to me. My parents made me wait until I was 13.

I don't think any 5-year old can take care of her own ears, it would be more about whether she can leave them alone so they don't get infected and if she can take the procedure.

We waited until my SD was 11 for her to get them double pierced thinking she could take care of them but she did NOT. She had to be reminded, sometimes even several times, to clean them. They both got infected and one almost had to be removed. Several times she has forgotten to put earrings in for a week and the holes have closed up.

I don't know at what age a child can be more responsible for them, but it wasn't age 11 for us! I would just let her do it, and remind her that it's a big girl privilege, and you do expect a few big girl things from her like leaving her ears alone and making sure her hands are clean, etc.

Just be sure to go to a reputable tattoo shop and ask for some who specializes in piercing. Run, and I mean RUN, from any place that uses piercing guns. They are bacteria farms as they cannot be autoclaved and it is shoving a fairly blunt object through her ears when in comparison to a piercing needle.

Also, about 14 years ago, I got my lobes pierced. About 4 years ago I started stretching them, and the woman who gunned my ears did my left ear crooked and too far down. Those at Clair's and Walmart are NOT trained. Also, my piercings done with needles (My septum, lip, and tongue) healed much easier and much fast and with less problems than my ears that were gunned.

Sorry, but I just totally disagree with allowing a five year to be getting her ears pierced. She shouldn't be getting holes in her ears just because she asked for them. She is not old enough to be taking care of earrings, much less her ears.

I assume you're going to do it anyway, though, even though she is so immature that she would draw on her face...

My daughter got hers pierced on her 5th birthday. She had been asking and we wanted to make sure she really wanted it done. We didn't go to the mall, we went to a piercing specialist. We made sure the starter earrings were titanium and it was his advice that we didn't touch the earrings at all for 6 weeks. No turning, no alcohol, no touching. His theory was that the crust that builds up actually keeps the bacteria out. We washed them each night with a saline wound wash spray but never actually touched the earrings with our hands. She had 2 days of soreness, and no other issues at all. They healed beautifully. There was no care to speak of. We change them every once in a while but there is no added responsibility for her. I just wanted to give my experience because I too had imagine all sorts of responsibility and care and there was none! Good luck. I wouldn't test her, I would just wait until she had a special day or deserved a special reward.

I see you made a decision. Probably smart. While most people don't have issues, my sister really did. I remember driving to the beach and telling her, "you lost your earring." Well, she didn't lose it but it had slipped into her ear because the post was so thick and the earring so tiny. My mom turned around and took us home after she pushed it out because she didn't want sand in it. I was bummed. She has had her ears pierced a few times and always had problems with infection so she let them close up. She was maybe 10. That's the age I had mine and they were fine. I was told to turn them and I kept doing it all the time. It became like a nervous habit. Throughout all the years, I've only had a few infections.

I was 4 when my Mom got my ears pierced and I was too young. We are waiting until my daughter is at least 8 if not older.

Is she in school yet?
I got my ears pierced when I was five. I got to get them pierced for getting all A's on my kindergarten report card and getting a "good" on my behavior (and not fighting the boys-lol). It was a pretty big deal.
I have never regretted getting my ears pierced at this age. What I do regret is all the subsequent holes I put up and down my ears. :)

My daughter got her ears pierced at 4 1/2. I told her she could as long as she was prepared for it to hurt and for us to have to clean them every day for a loooong time. Since she knew this going in, she was fine with everything and loves having them pierced. She is 6 now.
BTW, sounds like you had some unwelcome responses, sorry others were so rude.

I had my ears pierced when I was about 5. It was the norm for girls in our extended family.