5 Year Old Sugar Monster. HELP!

No negotiation on this issue. She is testing you. I would tell her if she starts to argue over treats/snacks she gets nothing on that day and then follow through.

Just say no.
Don't debate it.
And if/when she tantrums about it.
Let her.
Then walk away.
A kid will deflate on their own.

Tell her she has to earn, things.

Don't have candy in the house.

Teach her about foods. What is healthy, what is not.
She is 5.
Even in school, teachers don't like kids being sent to school with candy as "snacks."

Just tell her no.
Let her tantrum about it with herself.

Tell her, her hissy fits will not get her anything.

Give her other things to snack on.
Try popcorn.
Cheese cubes
Fruit is fine ya know.
"Treats" do not have to be, candy.
And snacks, are fine. Young kids, need to graze. They need snacks.

She is 5.
If you allow her one or 2 sweets a day that is fine. You are controlling what she is allowed.

But if there is whining, crying, demanding, arguing, fit throwing. Then there should be nothing sweet for that day.

I am not talking about fresh fruit. I am talking about candy, cake, ice cream, slushy.. whatever.

Stick with this rule about anything.. and she will get the message, she is the one controlling what she is allowed to have.

Remind her. "You threw the fit, so you do not get your treat today. But remember, there are frozen grapes in the freezer. "

"You argued with me today about the treat today, so you will have another chance tomorrow. Remember we have fresh strawberries."

"At the Birthday party you had cake and ice cream, so how about a bowl of (unsweetened) cereal, with some dried blueberries?"

State the rule, state how it was broken and offer a solution.

Send her to her room to calm down. Or turn off the tv so she can calm down, but do not give in.. Get your husband on board so you two are on the same page and she cannot use one against the other.

Purchase a few pairs of ear plugs, keep them around the house and in your handbag in case you need them .. They will not block out all of the sound, but will take the edge off.

You are stronger than her.

This isn't just about her love of sugar --you do get that, right? It's also about power and control. Five is a typical age for kids to assert themselves, their likes, their wants, pretty strongly, and to fight for what they want. So you are battling much more than her sweet tooth here; you're also dealing with her hunger for control, and her powerful kid desire to get what she wants, when she wants it.

That's why, when you write, "She gets to pick when she gets it and it can be whatever, but she gets one," that troubles me. Does she truly get "whatever" she wants that one time a day? Any form of sweet? Because that would indicate that either you're keeping a fair amount of treats on hand in the house, or you take her out with some regularity for treats elsewhere.

I would start with your own pantry -- what is not in the house cannot be eaten, period; if you do not buy sweets, they are not in the house for her to eat. I would start with just telling her, "There are no more X left in the house and I'm not going to the grocery store until tomorrow," and then offer her juice or fruit and walk away. Walk away! Do not engage her, do not listen if she throws a fit, remove yourself from her and go do something else. This is going to be a pain but I think that if you don't do it -- she is going to get not just too much sugar but also the sense that she gets what she wants, when she wants it. She should get what you say is OK, when you say it's OK. (And do ensure that the sweets truly are not there! If she opens the cupboards you do not want her finding sweets and yelling, "You lied, Mommy!" Make. Them. Gone.)

Some moms are going to say, no way, it's only a treat, she should have power to choose and have some level of control at her age---but in this case as you describe it, I think she's starting to rule the roost and she knows well that you get worked up over treats -- so she is asking for them knowing that it discomfits you, even if you have established a rule of 'only one a day.' That's why I would have some days when they are simply nonexistent. If she fusses at you about going to the store NOW for more treats, do not let her play that game; she doesn't do the grocery shopping. Shut her down - remove yourself and your attention; what worked for my kid at that age was saying VERY calmly, even coldly, "I can't talk with you if you cannot talk nicely, and when you are ready to talk about something else, then we'll talk" and walking away. If you are used to talking and debating and explaining when she brings up sweets, please stop; go with "This is what we have in the house, if you don't want that, I'm sorry" and end it there. The longer you explain or debate with her, the more attention she gets over this topic. Remove the attention.

It will take time and she is going to have some major fusses but can you stay calm, not over-talk this with her, and walk away?

Yes, do let her have some treats at times. We all need and love them! But daily, if we're talking about cookies, cake, ice cream, rice krispie treats, candy, etc. -- well, we don't do that and I think it sets a kid up for a really strong sweet tooth. Let her help you bake a few cupcakes at the weekend and rather than having icky store-bought icing, show her how to sprinkle a little powdered sugar on top instead (and freeze the rest of the batter for later without telling her). Have her help you bake healthy oatmeal cookies with lots of raisins in them (or cut-up prunes which are very sweet indeed). Add more fruit back into her diet, and maybe yogurt which can be a real treat to some kids. Get her to participate in cooking non-sweet dishes as well.

This is just my take on the situation:
Treats stop being treats when they become regular occurence. Special things stop being special when they happen all the time. Disneyland is a magical place, but loses some of it's magic when you go once a week. Telling a child they can have one treat a day, whatever and whenever they choose, turns the treat from something special that is allowed into something I'm entitled to. Sugary foods, favorite foods upon request, tv watching, staying up late, sleeping in Mom and Dad's bed, insert anything that is fine occasionally but often becomes a fight when a child expects it to be allowed regularly, even if the parents put a limit on it. With that kind of stuff, randomness is key. When a child asks for a sugary treat, say no. If they throw a fit, then handle it as any other fit. Keep it up until they stop asking. Then, on a day when behavior has been good, offer a treat-NOT as a reward for good behavior or it will become expected again, but randomly, for no actual reason other than "I thought you'd enjoy it". If the constant asking starts again, back to square one and always saying no. If the random treats, lead to sporadic asking, say yes sporadicly too.
My 4 year old got a sleeve of Pez for snack yesterday at our suggestion. She asks for candy at times and sometimes we say yes, but more often we say no. Same goes with things she requests for us to make for dinner or places we go out to lunch or staying up late or watching movies or specific shows on tv. She doesn't throw fits about being told no because she hasn't ever been taught that any of these things are things she's entitled to have regularly. Today, she might ask for candy again, but we'll just smile and say "no, not today" with no promise of when other than "maybe another day".
Take the entitlement out of it, then take the fight out of it, punish for fits and turn treats back into the special thing they should be.
Good luck!

What I tell DD is that she has to eat healthy food before she can even think about candy. Then she gets one piece if she's earned it (being good is part of it) and that's it. I have taken goodie bags and thrown them in the trash after temper tantrums. I warned her that she would not be able to keep her candy if she fought with me over it or argued with me or snuck any, so if I said that today, she'd know I was serious.

My SD has a huge sweet tooth and poor brushing habits it's cost us a lot in dental care. I want to avoid that with DD, who already has problems. I also have a friend whose 5 yr old behaves horribly when she has sugar and while there are all sorts of studies on it, I do often seen a correlation between my child's awful behavior and extra treats.

Here, treats are not a daily given. Many days go by with no processed treat. If your child can't handle it then don't buy them. Tell your DH that the slushy treats have to stop for the sake of your child and offer him other suggestions. My friend's child was having problems in school and it was not worth it to give her a dessert if she'd struggle all the next day. If it's that bad, then you really need to look at alternatives to candy.

I would also look at how you are reacting to her when she begs for a treat. If she wears you down, then she'll keep doing it because it works. If you find yourself yelling, then stop. Yelling begets yelling, IMO. I may be loud and firm when required, but I try really hard not to scream at my kid b/c I didn't like that as a kid. And once you say "no", mean it, not just for candy but for other things. If my DD gets upset, I simply tell her that her options are to get control or to go somewhere else, but she cannot stay in this room with me and yell. That will not go over well in kindergarten and I really need her to use words. She is allowed to be disappointed or angry. She is not allowed to pitch a fit.

It's a lot harder for her to eat it if you don't buy it and don't have it in the house.
We limited our son to 1 soda per week.
If he wants a snack, I have dates, prunes, carrots and apples on hand.
We have some candy around the house for major holidays but the rest of the time there is none to be had.

If she was arguing over candy/sugar at 3 yrs old, she should have got use to hearing 'no' back then.
If she keeps asking, ask her how many times does she have to hear 'no' before she believes it (then pick a tune, substitute 'no' for the words and sing it (she can count it out herself)).
You and Dad (and grandparents) get on the same page with regard to frequency of the sugar (treats/snacks/soda/junk food/cookies/cake/donuts/slushies/etc) (once a week works well for us) and then stick with it.
She's nagging now because she's learned if she keeps it up she'll eventually get her way.
It'll be a tough habit to break, but it can be done!

If she's craving sugar - take a look at her carbohydrate intake.
The junk and sugar sets her up for sugar highs and then the lows which build into the cravings and starts the cycle again.
Give her some complex carbohydrates (whole wheat, steel cut oatmeal, etc) so she has fewer low blood sugar dips and her cravings should not be so bad.

Sugar is not always a bad thing. When eaten in moderation it can be a good, needed thing. Kids should have 2 snacks a day. One mid morning and one mid afternoon. Whether that is a healthy snack like baby oranges or a bag of chips, that is up to the parent to guide the choices by making healthy choices available.

For me, I am ALL about the single serving. Yes, they cost a bit more, but I think it helps teach kids limits on what is needed. When you have a family size bag of chips, they (and us adults) will take huge handfuls or just eat out of the bag where we just keep going in again and again. When you have snack size or single serve items, it is a one and done mentality. It works well for us. In my house we have 2 drawers that the kids have access to all day/each day.

The first is a snack drawer. It has single serving snacks such as raisins,, yogurt raisins, chips, 100 calorie cookies, beef jerky, etc. The kids are allowed to get 2 snacks from here each day.

The second is the chocolate drawer. It is across the kitchen from the snack drawer, and a bit higher up so that when they were younger, they couldn't get to it by themselves. It this drawer is kept single serving snack size candy, lollipops, gummies, etc.

They are allowed one dessert a day. It can be cake, ice cream, pudding cup, or one item from the chocolate drawer.

My kids are also allowed to have a container of yogurt a day that does not count as a dessert.

If your daughter is having extreme personality changes when she has sugar, you should consider having her blood sugars checked. You should also consider talking to a pediatric nutritionist to see where you could make changes that would help her either make the healthier choices - a cuties orange vs a piece of cake.

If you don;t buy it, she can't eat it.
Get more natural candy.. Yummyearth.com has candy that is natural, no dyes, etc.. My son does not have that spike in temperment .

But we are Dye free, chocolate free, and gluten free. So Payday candy bars and the products like Yum Earth are about all he is allowed.

There are plenty of Treats.. You can mash a banana, and freeze it. You buy products that don;t have the dyes, or the High Frutose corn syurp.. those are the maint things that effect some of the kids. Chocolate is a bad trigger for my son.

Good luck.

We went through the EXACT same thing! So you're not alone!

My little SD was ADDICTED to sugar. If she got it, she turned crazy and mean. She'd get in trouble at school. We also didn't know that in first grade she was skipping the lunch line and getting cookies for lunch from the sweets line and the school never paid attention to it! My husband only noticed when he realized that her account was too full (as cookies are cheaper than a full lunch). After that she had to take her lunch (and he was mad at the school for not regulating where the first graders would go to buy their food!)

At first we didn't deny her sweets, we just limited the amount. However, she'd always beg for more. She couldn't have 2 cookies, she would eat 5 cookies if you weren't careful. She also craved carbs--bread, pasta, etc.

My SD had a candida problem--an overgrowth of yeast. The yeast in her body craved the sweets. She also had rotten teeth, from her bio mom giving her a juice bottle at bedtime and then she'd fall asleep.

We started by throwing away ALL the sweets in the house. Then we limited the carbs. We started giving her probiotics to counter the yeast. I can't remember the supplement we used, but after 2 weeks the cravings disappeared (it was a terrible 2 weeks!) During that first 2 weeks she cried, threw fits, refused to eat at all, etc.

It's been a rough 7 years, I've tried buying sweets again but then she just goes back to craving them so I don't. Now that she's older she knows to limit what she takes. It doesn't help that her grandparents equate love with stuffing her with sugar!

She goes back and forth still with craving sweets. She gets them at her moms and when she visits her grandparents. Last year she went on a 10 day vacation with them and gained 6 pounds while she was away from eating too much sugar every day! It took us 3 weeks to get her back under control, even at age 10 she was crying because she couldn't have cookies. What 10 year old cries over cookies??

It's not a power struggle for us, it's a health issue. Read up on candida. It's an imbalance in the body that causes the cravings. Every time we get the candida under control, she no longer craves the sweets, no longer cries when she can't have them, etc. Then we can allow a proper amount of dessert without her getting upset over it.

Good luck! I would start by getting rid of ALL of the sweets in the house (You can't have them in the house or they will beg for them! Believe me, I know!) When she begs, you simply say "I'm sorry, we don't have any."

Don't make sugar a reward. I HATE it when family does this. Sugar is NOT a reward!

Avoid products with high fructose corn syrup. You'll be surprised at how many products you buy have it in it! That feeds the craving.

Research candida. If you want to know what we used, PM me. I'll have to go look it up, the name escapes me. It was a capsule and we would empty half in some applesauce.

Good luck!

I think your main problem or issue is that you turned this into a battle.

I think because you are at this point your first step would be to eliminate all sweets in your household. That way there is no battle to fight as you just won't have it in the house to fight over. Obviously, this wouldn't cure things when you are out and about but I would never cave to a child throwing a fit. If they wanted something in a grocery store, I would tell them I will not buy a sweet just because they want one, if a fit is thrown, I would tell them they would not be allowed in any environment around sweets if they couldn't handle the word no. And I would do just that, not shop with them not take them to any place that offered sweets until they got the point.

The thing is, because this has turned into a battle its going to take some extreme measures to stop the want. Once she realizes that the sweets aren't the forbidden fruit I do believe she will slow down and be able to be around them without having to have them all the time.

Does she still like fruits? I'd stock your house up with those. Perhaps even things like flavored applesauce, flavored yogurts, (I even freeze those yogurt tubes and my kids think its fun to eat them like popsicles) maybe even things like blueberry muffins or banana bread. Things that you wouldn't feel too bad caving into. And perhaps she'll learn these things can be just as good or better than slushies or other non nutritional valued foods.

Totally normal. And really keep that in mind. It is absolutely normal for a kid her age to want sugar all the time. Didn't you when you were her age? I know I did. I remember my dad telling me that he just didn't crave sweets like he used it. It made me never want to be an adult, because being an adult meant not loving sweets and I just loved sweets. Seemed so depressing to me.

I really think you have to change your approach. Stop arguing with her about it. Stop discussing it. Stop trying to reason with her. If she tries to ask for more than she's allowed, you have to be strong! Very calmly and nicely say, "No more sweets today. How about an apple?" Or something along those lines. If she tries to talk about it some more, very nicely say, "We're done talking about this." If she tries again, ignore it. She will get the message! Sometimes you just have to walk away, but she will learn to calm down and give up.

You might decide it will be easier if her sugar moment happens at the same time everyday and/or under the same circumstances everyday. Maybe it's just right after dinner or it's after school. This might be a good way to make it easier for her. If it's the exact same situation all the time, there's no reason for her to ask about it. Once you get to a point where she doesn't ask about it, or doesn't belabor the point, you can be more flexible. But it's easier to relax the rules than it is to become more strict.

Just remember, she's totally normal. You have to change way you respond.

That being said, I'm not that good at limiting the treats. My kids eat lots of fruit and veggies, so I really don't worry about it too much. They get a couple of sugar snacks each day.

Well, if you don't have it in the house, then she can't have it. And you can let her look for yourself that it's not there.

If you don't want to do that, then you just have to enforce that she cannot have the junk food, but she can have some fruit or other healthy snack instead. We've been teaching our kids (4 year olds) about the need to eat different kinds of foods (fruit, veggies, meat/protein) to help them get big and strong and that some foods are junk food and don't help them grow at all. If one insists on having some kind of junk food snack and I don't feel it's appropriate, then I will say that they can have <insert healthier snack here> instead and then I just hold my ground despite any loud requests from them.

I don't know if 5 is too young for this, but something a friend has done for her upper elementary school age kids was put all their junk food for a week into a box for each kid. It was up to each child when they wanted to eat their junk food, but once they ate it all, it was gone for the week. They learned to ration it out that way. Initially, with a 5 year old, I'm sure there will be some battles if it's all eaten at the beginning of the week, but I imagine after a couple of times, the kid will learn.

This is hard. My two kids are very different when it comes to sweets so I feel like I have fairly good perspective. My daughter monitors herself incredibly well for a 5 year old. My son is 3 and he would literally eat junk all day every day if we let him! :0)

My opinion is this...I think it makes it harder to have hard and fast rules on things like this. I think it's hard to say that she only gets one sweet per day end of story because that isn't life. My kids sometimes get a day where they might have eaten a donut but then later a neighbor, friend, someone at the bank, etc. gives them a sucker or they have a birthday treat at preschool...or who knows what else. Oh well. On the flip side we have lots of days where they don't eat any candy or sweet things and that is okay too. If you make a hard and fast rule, you have to stick to it and I would rather be more flexible so I don't feel like I want to break my own rule....just some food for thought.

In our house we try and focus our conversations on making healthy choices and those sweets we love (including slushies and lemonade) are what we call "sometimes" foods. It's that simple, we eat them sometimes and we can't eat them every day because our bodies need healthy foods to function.

I also think that to avoid some of the semantics arguing, before she is given something she needs to make a choice that if she takes that slushie (or whatever) she may not get to pick something out of the treat basket later. I'm all for rules and guidelines, don't get me wrong, but I think food is one of those things that you don't want to make taboo. If you limit too much then it's just going to make it more enticing and can create a situation where she might sneak it or be dishonest. Of course, if you make it too accessible she could be unhealthy. So it's really a balancing act.

With my son, this theory was harder for him to accept, b/c he is a sweet monster too. But even at 3 he can understand hey kiddo, we had this, this, or this and now we need to make better choices. He threw fits at first, but now he accepts it. During his tantrums I would really just be empathetic to his feelings and then move on. He eventually stopped and now, almost every single time I say no, he says Ok, Mom. You can do it. Just figure out what is the most realistic for you house/lifestyle because as I said some days are just harder than others, or in this case, more junky than others! :) and I think that is just fine as long as it's balanced by some days of healthier eating.

My sister pointed out to me that the only time she ever heard my youngest cry was when there was a dispute over junk food. Honestly, that was the only time she typically cried. My daughter is now 10 and knows that she has to have an apple or strawberries before junk food. With maturity it has gotten so much better.
When she was little though I had to limit what junk was in the house and I just stuck to my guns. If she wanted 2 animal crackers then she had to eat X. It was just a rule. There was nothing to get upset about or try to negotiate with...it was a rule. Like I said before it has gotten much better.
I can so relate to your post.

I am not sure if this will help you or not. My mom always limited my sugar, always felt I craved it, always felt I was out of control when I had sugar. Turns out I craved only because she limited it, and I was generally hyper regardless of what I ate.

I have never limited sugar with my kids. It has always sat side by side with the fruit and good for your snacks. They generally pick the better foods. Now if I bring in some treat that we haven't had in a while it is a free for all, everyone fighting over the Nutty Bars!! That isn't an addiction mind you, that is just something unusual.

Kids are no different than adults, we crave what we can't have. My kids aren't anything special, they eat good things because they want to, not because that is all that is offered.

Like I said, not sure if it will help but I believe having it around makes it boring. The sweet flavors of fruits are more complex and satisfying, even to kids.
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Oh, here is a prime example. Obviously we only have a garden in the summer. My youngest will graze back there to the point it looks like a plague of locusts have invaded. Every year I have to explain that you cannot de-leaf the herbs, they will die. She is worse than the rabbits with the lettuce and don't get me started on maters!!

That is just limiting the poor kid to just summer grazing! That is healthy food! You want what you cannot have!
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Oh but if you can you may want to garden. There is just something about homegrown that make kids go nuts. That one is 12, when the 23 year old comes home she grazes too. The boys pick, they don't graze, silly girls!!

You're making a big deal out of the sugar. And you're letting it be a battle. She is 5, she doesn't have choices in what she eats.

My kids have a snack box they are allowed to grab something from if they are allowed a snack (goldfish, pretzels, gummies, etc). They also get one box of treats for every two weeks. They get to pick their "dessert" for lunch but they only get 5 to 6 pieces, so they don't get it every day.

Let her know her limits, don't make it a battle, and only have options she is allowed to have at home.

u just needa put ur foot down ur the mom not the other way around if u keep qivinq her what she wants just like any child will tend to be bratty n if u think about u could be puttinq your child at risk for pre diabetic n ob.try suqar free candy or qranolabars n fruit.

stop letting sugar be the trigger for these fights. she is winning lol. jsut don't buy the sugar stuff. buy the healthier option and use healthy ingredients for the sweetening. there are popcicles that have no sugar in them they are pure fruit there are ice creams that are the same. get cereal that is not sugar filled and use jelly to sweeten it. we used to buy plain oatmeal and just dump a blob of strawberry jelly in. kids loved it.

My kids like sugar and I have often wondered if my son in particular has a sugar sensitivity because of his emotional and physical reactions when he eats it. One of the things that helped us was helping him identify the way he was acting and the connection to what he had eaten. When *he was able to see the connection between eating sweets and getting himself in trouble, he started making better choices. We did this because there comes the time when you can no longer completely control what you child eats (like when they go to school and trade lunches with friends), and if they want to make the choice to eat things that make them crazy and out of control (and then getting in trouble), they need to be able to deal with the consequence.

I agree with others that you can substitute good/healthier treats for the junk. At some point she may not even want stuff that is too sweet even when she has the chance to eat it.

good luck!

I would simply stop bringing any junk into the house. If there are no processed sugary treats, then she can't have one if she asks. The preschool should NOT be letting kids share food and certainly should NOT be providing them with garbage treats. If they do something for birthdays, you can either work with the director to change that to a healthy treat (fruit, colorful veggie platter, etc). This will work better if you come armed with some real info and offer to help do some education on nutrition (at a preschool level) in the classroom. If it is a big issue, it is reasonable to change programs. When my son goes to birthday parties, he does have a piece of cake. The goody bags were an issue for us initially. I now go through them, throw out all candy made in China (that was a no brainer - DS - we don't eat candy that can be poison) and then he can pick two treats to keep and we toss the rest. I would be perfectly fine letting him pick one but DH wanted more. Halloween - I HATE it. When DS was less than 5 - we simply tossed all the candy (he never had candy until he was 5) and kept the pencils, stickers, etc. Now we ration the candy to one piece a day for a while. I then make an arbitrary decision that it is all stale and must be tossed. After you dispose of the stuff that is clearly not from China, weirdly off brand and character branded - there is usually not that much left.

Normally, sugar is whitened w/ chlorine bleach. This isn't the greatest thing to ingest!! Your child sounds like the "spirited" child. There is a book entitled, "The Spirited Child." It has great advice and strategies ! Is the struggle over sweets only or do you have other concerns about her behavior? If the battle is just over sweets, then, you need to limit them to a dessert after dinner during the week. Send me a message--if you have time.

Have you run this by the pediatrician to rule out something medical?