UPDATED: How Often Do You Let Your Kids Have Dessert?

My kids have a treat of some kind everyday. It may be a Popsicle or cookie in the afternoon or something special I made for after dinner. I do not think a sweet a day does any harm,and in fact many think it is a good thing, because anything completely denied just becomes that much more desirable. I do not want food to be an issue for my children, so I do not make it one.

Only 2-3 nights a week and I try to pick something that is still got for them..like strawberry shortcake. :)

In my home desert is sliced apples, cut up orange or banana. Ice cream , cake and cookies that kind of thing maybe once a weekend.

As a Doctor of Naturopathic Medicine and a Nutritionist people need to know the truth about sugar. In addition to throwing off your body's homeostasis and wreaking havoc on your metabolic processes, excess sugar has a number of other significant consequences.

Nancy Appleton, PhD, author of the book Lick the Sugar Habit[5], contributed an extensive list of the many ways sugar can ruin your health from a vast number of medical journals and other scientific publications.

Sugar can suppress your immune system and impair your defenses against infectious disease.[6] [7]
Sugar upsets the mineral relationships in your body: causes chromium and copper deficiencies and interferes with absorption of calcium and magnesium.[8] [9] [10] [11]
Sugar can cause a rapid rise of adrenaline, hyperactivity, anxiety, difficulty concentrating, and crankiness in children.[12] [13]
Sugar can produce a significant rise in total cholesterol, triglycerides and bad cholesterol and a decrease in good cholesterol.[14] [15] [16] [17]
Sugar causes a loss of tissue elasticity and function.[18]
Sugar feeds cancer cells and has been connected with the development of cancer of the breast, ovaries, prostate, rectum, pancreas, biliary tract, lung, gallbladder and stomach.[19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [25]
Sugar can increase fasting levels of glucose and can cause reactive hypoglycemia.[26] [27]
Sugar can weaken eyesight.[28] 1
Sugar can cause many problems with the gastrointestinal tract including: an acidic digestive tract, indigestion, malabsorption in patients with functional bowel disease, increased risk of Crohn's disease, and ulcerative colitis.[29] [30] [31] [32] [33]
Sugar can cause premature aging.[34] In fact, the single most important factor that accelerates aging is insulin, which is triggered by sugar. 1
Sugar can lead to alcoholism.[35]
Sugar can cause your saliva to become acidic, tooth decay, and periodontal disease.[36] [37] [38]
Sugar contributes to obesity. [39] 1
Sugar can cause autoimmune diseases such as: arthritis, asthma, and multiple sclerosis.[40] [41] [42]
Sugar greatly assists the uncontrolled growth of Candida Albicans (yeast infections) [43]
Sugar can cause gallstones.[44]
Sugar can cause appendicitis.[45]
Sugar can cause hemorrhoids.[46]
Sugar can cause varicose veins.[47]
Sugar can elevate glucose and insulin responses in oral contraceptive users.[48]
Sugar can contribute to osteoporosis.[49]
Sugar can cause a decrease in your insulin sensitivity thereby causing an abnormally high insulin levels and eventually diabetes.[50] [51] [52]
Sugar can lower your Vitamin E levels.[53]
Sugar can increase your systolic blood pressure.[54]
Sugar can cause drowsiness and decreased activity in children.[55]
High sugar intake increases advanced glycation end products (AGEs),which are sugar molecules that attach to and damage proteins in your body. AGEs speed up the aging of cells, which may contribute to a variety of chronic and fatal diseases. [56] 1
Sugar can interfere with your absorption of protein.[57]
Sugar causes food allergies.[58]
Sugar can cause toxemia during pregnancy.[59]
Sugar can contribute to eczema in children.[60]
Sugar can cause atherosclerosis and cardiovascular disease.[61] [62]
Sugar can impair the structure of your DNA.[63]
Sugar can change the structure of protein and cause a permanent alteration of the way the proteins act in your body.[64] [65]
Sugar can make your skin age by changing the structure of collagen.[66]
Sugar can cause cataracts and nearsightedness.[67] [68]
Sugar can cause emphysema.[69]
High sugar intake can impair the physiological homeostasis of many systems in your body.[70]
Sugar lowers the ability of enzymes to function.[71]
Sugar intake is higher in people with Parkinson's disease.[72]
Sugar can increase the size of your liver by making your liver cells divide, and it can increase the amount of fat in your liver, leading to fatty liver disease.[73] [74]
Sugar can increase kidney size and produce pathological changes in the kidney such as the formation of kidney stones.[75] [76] Fructose is helping to drive up rates of kidney disease. 1
Sugar can damage your pancreas.[77]
Sugar can increase your body's fluid retention.[78]
Sugar is enemy #1 of your bowel movement.[79]
Sugar can compromise the lining of your capillaries.[80]
Sugar can make your tendons more brittle.[81]
Sugar can cause headaches, including migraines.[82]
Sugar can reduce the learning capacity, adversely affect your children's grades and cause learning disorders.[83] [84]
Sugar can cause an increase in delta, alpha, and theta brain waves, which can alter your ability to think clearly.[85]
Sugar can cause depression.[86]
Sugar can increase your risk of gout.[87]
Sugar can increase your risk of Alzheimer's disease.[88] MRI studies show that adults 60 and older who have high uric acid are four to five times more likely to have vascular dementia, the second most common form of dementia after Alzheimer’s.1
Sugar can cause hormonal imbalances such as: increasing estrogen in men, exacerbating PMS, and decreasing growth hormone.[89] [90] [91] [92]
Sugar can lead to dizziness.[93]
Diets high in sugar will increase free radicals and oxidative stress.[94]
A high sucrose diet of subjects with peripheral vascular disease significantly increases platelet adhesion.[95]
High sugar consumption by pregnant adolescents can lead to a substantial decrease in gestation duration and is associated with a twofold-increased risk for delivering a small-for-gestational-age (SGA) infant.[96] [97]
Sugar is an addictive substance.[98]
Sugar can be intoxicating, similar to alcohol.[99]
Sugar given to premature babies can affect the amount of carbon dioxide they produce.[100]
Decrease in sugar intake can increase emotional stability.[101]
Your body changes sugar into 2 to 5 times more fat in the bloodstream than it does starch.[102]
The rapid absorption of sugar promotes excessive food intake in obese subjects.[103]
Sugar can worsen the symptoms of children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).[104]
Sugar adversely affects urinary electrolyte composition.[105]
Sugar can impair the function of your adrenal glands.[106]
Sugar has the potential of inducing abnormal metabolic processes in normal, healthy individuals, thereby promoting chronic degenerative diseases.[107]
Intravenous feedings (IVs) of sugar water can cut off oxygen to your brain.[108]
Sugar increases your risk of polio.[109]
High sugar intake can cause epileptic seizures.[110]
Sugar causes high blood pressure in obese people.[111]
In intensive care units, limiting sugar saves lives.[112]
Sugar may induce cell death.[113]
In juvenile rehabilitation centers, when children were put on low sugar diets, there was a 44 percent drop in antisocial behavior.[114]
Sugar dehydrates newborns.[115]
Sugar can cause gum disease.[116]
It should now be crystal clear just how damaging sugar is. You simply cannot achieve your highest degree of health and vitality if you are consuming a significant amount of it.

Fortunately, your body has an amazing ability to heal itself when given the basic nutrition it needs, and your liver has an incredible ability to regenerate. If you start making changes today, your health WILL begin to improve, returning you to the state of vitality that nature intended.

Hi, lots of responses here - I did laugh!!! My kids get "dessert" every solitary day! Once after lunch, and once after dinner. Heck, that is how I get them to eat dinner, eat their veggies and/or fruit! lol! A normal dessert to them is a cookie, a freeze pop, popsicle, brownie or whatever. Now if we are out my 7-year old would love a donut, and my 3-year old could devour icecream!!! Life is short, and in my opinion, unless they have a weight issue, or a health issue, a cookie isn't going to make or break you! I know I am a chocoholic, and MUST have it every solitary day!!! And I am all good! Good luck to you and your family, and whatever works for you is great for you I say!!! Take care!

Seriously? I see so many "never" or "rarely" responses here! My kids eat dessert every single day! Ice cream is full of calcium! My kids also have never had a cavity and rarely get sick (my 2nd grader has had perfect attendance all 3 years of school so far), so sorry if I don't think that dessert has much to do with great health. Obviously my kids are not overweight, in fact, they are tiny, and if they were overweight, then holding back calories would be a consideration. But for most kids who are just normal, average kids, I see absolutely no reason not to let them enjoy an ice cream, candy, or baked treat daily! In fact, I think it is silly not to! Enjoy those little things in life people!

Updated

Seriously? I see so many "never" or "rarely" responses here! My kids eat dessert every single day! Ice cream is full of calcium! My kids also have never had a cavity and rarely get sick (my 2nd grader has had perfect attendance all 3 years of school so far), so sorry if I don't think that dessert has much to do with great health. Obviously my kids are not overweight, in fact, they are tiny, and if they were overweight, then holding back calories would be a consideration. But for most kids who are just normal, average kids, I see absolutely no reason not to let them enjoy an ice cream, candy, or baked treat daily! In fact, I think it is silly not to! Enjoy those little things in life people!

O.K. I grew up in a family with 6 siblings. Fast food was a special treat for us. My mom always has home cooked meals on the table. I love every veggie and fruit. We also had junk food like hohos and dingdongs. My mom always made homemade chocolate chip cookies. In fact some of my fondest memories were coming home from school and having her cookies and talking about our day (the best time to get your kids to talk about their day). We also had "popcorn and pepsi night" which was usually to watch either Walt Disney or Little House on the Prairie. I think you are doing an excellent job with what you are feeding your children; however, I also think if you deprive them they may go crazy later. We only live once and "everything in moderation." By the way, I have and 11 year old, 8 year old and a 4 year old. My first two are great eaters and my last is horrible. Unfortunately I think it is the luck of the draw.

Just one little idea. Instead of rewarding my children for eating their vegetables or bribing them, we watch to see how hungry they are and how well they're eating. If they aren't eating well, we assume that they're not very hungry and don't need more food. If they gobble down their healthy foods & veggies and even have seconds, sometimes we say, "Wow, you're hungry tonight - maybe we should have a dessert." It's just a way to not put sweets on a pedestal. Our kids never ask for dessert, but are pleasantly surprised when we have one.

I'm sorry, but I am sitting here in front of my computer, reading all of these responses, and I feel like I'm on another planet!!! I'm trying so hard not to laugh!!! My kids eat "dessert" or treats or whatever you want to call them every day. They eat healthy food, too, but when my son wants a cookie, I don't limit him to one, he can have several. I was raised on koolaid and Oreos (weren't you??!??) My kids are huge water drinkers (I know an awful lot of kids who are soda drinkers) so no koolaid here, but pretty much everyone I know lets their kids have cookies, candy, "dessert", etc..... Not sure if the majority of you who answered here have smaller kids (my older ones are 10 and 12), or what. But I'd like to speak up for all of the silent moms reading this who are like me but are too shy to speak up who I KNOW are out there!!! I take my son (age 3) to swimming lessons and his teacher has candy for the kids when they're done. She has stickers, too, but I have NEVER seen a parent say their child can't have the candy. They happily give their child a lollipop and these are MORNING lessons! I have 3 kids and over the past 12 years I have NEVER been to a birthday party nor thrown one where a parent has limited the size of the slice of cake or otherwise limited the treats, or even made it clear to the child that this was a special occasion because they "normally" wouldn't allow their kids to eat sugar (with the exception of my niece, who is allergic) Seriously, I know there are way more of us out there than are represented here! What type of difference will it make in a child's life if you give them ice cream only 4 days a week instead of 7? If they are otherwise eating healthy, I just don't get the big deal it is to give them treats. (By the way, our family is on the small side-- no worries about them being over weight. If you have weight issues in your family, that's a different ball of wax.... but even still, moderation is fine-- a smaller scoop of ice cream, for example)

how ironic that your initials are m&m.

After reading your response, it sounds to me like you do a great job. The remainder of my reply is not so much to you, but other readers.

It's very surprising to see how many responses are allowing desserts almost daily. I hope some of those moms start paying attention to the MD's and Scientist that are informing the latest findings. It's a shocker. Not only is sugar attributing to overall health issues (like obesity, diabetes, cancer, and more). Sugar (as well as some other comfort foods) causes a reaction in the brain that is equivalent to heroine or crack. You wouldn't start giving your child either of those everyday, would you?

We rarely eat dessert. An occasional evening healthy snack if we eat dinner early. The main time we do a dessert is when we go to a Chinese buffet. For dessert my child usually wants a little soft ice cream or jello.

Moms, our children are our world's future. What you do, or allow forms your child for the future. We don't want to end up end up like the Humans depicted in the Wall E movie, do we? Consider playing a game or reading a story instead. They will appreciate that more. Plus, foregoing the extra junk food will save you money.

I second what Ree Al Uh T (love the name btw!!) said! And, for all you moms out there who are nazi's about what your children can't eat...more than likely they are scarfing down junk food at friends houses or school and eating more junk than they would if you would just let them have it in the first place! Sugar is not a bad word in our house.

I let our daughter have it most nights after dinner, but it's usually a healthy dessert option with fruit. Or I let her have it with her dinner, never as a "treat" she has to wait for. It makes the dessert less special and keeps her focus off of obsessing about it by not offering it as a reward. I offer candy during the day very rarely, and only when it just happens to be available. The good thing about grooming her to be more relaxed about desserts is that she often prefers fruit, and has even turned down chocolate chip cookies in favor of an orange instead! (I read good tips on treats-desserts and toddlers in "Your Baby and Child: from birth to age five".)

My kids usually get something everyday. Everyday they get a piece of Dark Chocolate(this is a habit everyone should get into) Yes it took a few tries to get them to eat dark chocolate, but now they prefer it. Now it is a treat to them. I usually get them to munch on a handful of almonds as a treat, and desert which is not every night is frozen simply go-gurt. I think everything is OK in moderation. I am kind of surprised to see all the responses of kiddos eating brownies and cake and such. We just have never thought to do that except on holidays/birthdays. That does not mean they would not LOVE it if we did!

I just wanted to say that I have heard from many sources that fruit is hard to digest after a meal. Most health experts advise to eat fruit 30 minutes before a meal. I have even read recently that fruit "putrifies" in the gut if it does not properly digest. Please research this yourselves. I do sometimes eat fruit with yogurt or ice cream, but usually do it as a before meal snack.

It seems that if children still have room for dessert after a meal, that they are not eating enough of their dinner. It seems like an old-fashioned concept...one that went out of style when mothers started working and had less time to prepare a meal, much less a dessert. My son has a "snack" during the last hour or so he is up. Usually a gourmet pretzel or ice cream. Sometimes crackers.

The latest research on sugar is rather shocking. So while it may be a curious things what other families are doing, why would you want to follow suit on what most Americans are doing to trash their health? My daughter gets treats when we eat treats. Family get-togethers are the main place so about once a week there. She also gets a sucker twice a month or so in the car to keep her awake when I have to push errands late. If I need to occupy her while I have a dr.s appt. I might give her some bunny grams. She gets atleat 2 desserts/ treats a week. In addition she is getting a gummy bear with her potty training. Just this week we made chocolate cupcakes and she is getting one (she eats half, no frosting) at dinner, but when they are gone that will be it for a while. Her father was giving her cookie dough 3 times a week a while back but I put an end to it. I am trying hard to keep it to two treats a week, but its hard with indulgent dad's and grandparents around. I wish I were a bit more of a dessert nazi- so if you are, keep it up.

I let mine have a small treat after dinner - usually some dark chochlate.

My son is almost 5 and he typically has some kind of ice cream or ice pop 4 to 5 days a week. It is a small scoop of ice cream in a cone typically and sometimes with whip cream. He needs to eat his dinner, however he refuses to eat vegtables. But he drinks lots of water, takes vitamins, brushes his teeth and is very active. He eats fruit and we only have whole wheat bread. We watch the ingredients and do things in moderation. We don't have a lot of fast food places around us, so we really go to McDonalds or places like this. But when we do we only order chicken strips and he only eats a few french fries. Like someone else mentioned, most of us grew up on junk food and we turned out okay. I didn't like vegtables as a kid and now I like them. He will learn to like them. He has been to the dentist several times and we have only gotten good reports, keep doing the same thing the dentist tells us. Our bodies all process things differently so we may not be able to eat the same foods. However, I don't want to make food a big deal. If he eats a good amount of his dinner then he is good, I typically don't make him eat everything on this plate because they he won't know to stop when he is full.

I'm so glad to see you question. I am a mom that has a very healthy eater. I have always limited the sugar and desserts and would get really annoyed about how many parties would happen in her preschool(at that age, children would just enjoy extra games for a celebration). Yes, it is nice to have a treat every once in a while, but the constant bombardment in our society is crazy. My husband is from Hong Kong and he is still amazed at the whole concept of constant dessert. I have started giving in more because I am now afraid that when she gets older, she may start sneeking if she was never allowed to have it. When I do give her a treat(1-2x a week), it is usually a more healthy cookie, a small piece of dark chocolate. We also talk about using exercise to help the body regulate the not so good food choices we sometimes make. Luckily, even at 6, she loves to hike and bike with the family.

Anyway, enough rambling. I'm just glad someone is asking the same question.

N.

I would be sure they have fruit as a "dessert" most nights, ice cream rarely, icy pops sometimes. I would also discourage the term "dessert" as it implies the need for something more after a perfectly fine dinner has been served. I would rather it be used in very moderate doses and special occasions, like if they have behaved in school that day (yes I DO believe in bribery !).

Having seen the obesity problems in Australia and the US, we need to shift our ideas about food and how much we need to take in on a daily basis and the sorts of foods we do have regularly..

My kids can have dessert or we actually consider it an evening snack whenever they want. What would be the point of depriving them, only to make them want it more and eventually sneak it? And if you want to keep it healthy-at least during the week fresh fruit or fruit pops they could actually make on their own would be great! It's a great way to teach them about healthy eating.

We rarely serve our toddler "dessert" after dinner. However, he gets treats pretty much every day. At our house, french fries count as treats, as do cookies, frozen yogurt, popsicles, etc. If we are having a big adventure day (read: lots of errands and running around) and my son (2yr) has been behaving, following directions, etc... He often gets a treat while we're out and about as a thank you type prize for being such a trooper. Often its a fruit snack... I dol them out one by one for good behavior, sometimes its french fries as part of lunch or afternoon snack. He gets candy everyday. I was fed up with the aligator wrestling at diaper changes and resorted to bribes. Now, he gets a small something (gummy bear,jelly bean, M& M, Hershey Kiss, etc...) for good changing table behavior. All that being said, when given the option between the an apple and a cookie, he chooses the apple. I'm pleased enough with the food variety in his regular diet, to not worry so much about the extra candy. For me, not fighting about diaper changes and carseat protocol are worth it.

Dessert? Never. I grew up without sugar in my diet until I was 10. My husband has dessert every night. I don't crave sugar, he does. My teeth are excellent, his are a mess. Sugar before bed? Never.

When our son was 3, I gave him a natural fruit leathers at a birthday party. All of the moms stood there with their arms crossed and asked me what was so wrong with sugar and why didn't I let me kid have sugar. All of this while thier kids ate GIANT pieces of cake. I calmly, without defending said, "Well, if you can tell me ONE positive thing sugar does for a growing child's body, I'd consider it." The room was silent.

Now that our son is older, he will get ice cream probably every few months. We homeschool now, but when he was at school, he brought all of his treats home and then we'd discuss it. He'd to choose between part of the treat, if it was huge or having something at the birthday party he was invited to. I always let it be his decision, but I was giving him 2 choices that I found as acceptible.

A few days ago, we were at my grandmother's home and there was a Coke open, my 7 year old asked me what it tasted like. I told him it was a fuzzy sugar taste. I offered it to him he was heistant, has a sip and then made a face and said, "That's disgusting." Fine with me, that's why I offered it.

IF they get anything with sugar in it, then they HAVE to have protein first to balance the blood sugar first.

I think your kids will be better off with your good diet choices. Good for you.

This is such a great question and something that's been on my mind for some time too. My kids are 9 and 6 and my son has had a giant sweet tooth practically since the time he could start talking!

I have tried all sorts of plans and now, we have a sweet treat generaly 4-6 times a week. We rarely get fast food and I cook food at home that is not overly processed, etc. They bring their lunches to school from home every day but one (they get to choose one day a week to buy the school lunch). We are a very active family also and teach our children about foods that are "growing" foods (i.e. foods that help you grow) and non-growing foods (that are to be limited b/c they do not help us keep our bodies growing and healthy). I think things change as your children grow too. When my children were toddlers it was much easier to limit the amounts of sweets.

I think the bottom line is to look at the big picture. If you're eating healthy the majority of the time and living an active lifestyle as well, then a sweet treat every day is probably ok. Personally I have a problem when people call fruit their dessert. Fruit should be part of a healthy diet regularly and not considered a "treat" to be given occasionally. True, I would much rather have my child reach for a piece of fruit than a cookie but children can also be taught that fruits contain so many more nutrients than a cookie, ice cream, piece of cake, etc. and should be enjoyed with their meal not at the end of their meal. Just my opinion though!

I know you got all your responses, but my daughter does have some sort of "treat" every day. We make healthy choices all the time and over all eat very very good, so it really doesn't bother me much. But many of the times, her treat is a yogurt, fruit leather, fruit, etc. Sometimes it is candy or ice cream or pudding...I think moderation is key.
I like reading all the responses you got.
:-)

Eh... we're pretty lax. We only have "dessert" on holidays and birthdays, but we have sweets of all kinds year round. Basically, whenever we want, and that changes on the season. Kiddo (Ds7) eats every 3 hours (except during snowboard season when he eats every hour he's on the mountain)... so it really depends on the day. Sometimes a couple times a day, sometimes not for a few weeks. Typically there's a limit of "You already had x today, you don't get y as well"... but we may as well have a pot of chocolate on the stove all winter, and the popsicles & other icy things are constant in the summer.

- Otter pops all summer long
- Applejuice popsicles ditto
- Pina Coladas ( virgin of course) ditto again
- Ice cream with chocolate syrup once every few months for a few days in a row, or after a performance (like a play)
- Brownies for breakfast (especially after deaths, we've been averaging 1-2 per year since kiddo was a year old, just bad luck, but it's part of our mourning ritual)
- Frozen Girl Scout Cookies
- Truffles (i make 'em twice a year)
- Stuffed Baked Apples in the fall
- PepperCandied Strawberries
- Tiramisu
- Birthday Cakes
- Xmas Pudding
- Berry and Squash cobblers and pies
- M&M or skittle "math"
- Gum Drop molecules & chemistry
- S'mores with camping
- Mochi (as in the pounded kind) during mochizui
- Greek Yogurt with Honey
- Baklava
- Hot Chocolate w/ whipped cream

The list goes on. We're active people (average of 8 hours a day of high impact exercise, some days only 2 other days 10, but mostly 8ish), and we eat really healthily (sweets make up maybe 1/20th of our diet) so it's no biggie. Like I said, it's mainly seasonal (berry pies late summer, squash pie in the fall) etc., but we EAT seasonally.

We do dessert pretty much every day. However, my kids have no sweets, no juice, no sugary cereal, no junkie crackers etc throughout the whole day. Their diet is largely based on whole grains, fruit, vegetables, nuts, beans and cheese. They know what "junkie" foods are and what real foods are. Their dessert often consists of a who fruit popsicle, fruit with whip cream, a small scoop of breyers ice cream etc. Even in our deserts we stay away from any preservatives, high fructose cs, and hydrogenated oils about 95% of the time. There are times when I think maybe we should cut our desserts out but I feel like my kids eat healthier as a whole than at least 75 percent of the children we know so I feel ok with it :)

I might be alone in this, but I try not to consider dessert or any sweets a "reward" or 'treat" or anything like that. If a reward for good behavior is called for, it's usually a toy. We treat food as a social activity, if you go to a birthday party and they are having cake, eat the darn cake! Even if it is just a bite, which is what my kid does anyway. It is the polite thing to do. At home, we just eat normally and within moderation, which means no dessert. But when we go out to eat, sure, let's try something off the dessert menu as a family and see if it is any good. Or we sometimes we go out for ice cream, or if are at the mall we will split a cookie. We talk about what looks good, what smells good, and while eating it, we talk about the taste, so our kids will learn to savor what they are eating. When we have playdates, I bake cookies for the kids and if they have one, no big deal. I am more stern about sodas and juice. Carrot Juice from trader joe's is about it, and even that I water down. Soda I don't like because of the additives and the caffine.

I can't stand people that snatch food away from their kids, or bring fruit roll ups to birthday parties, those folks have major control issues!

My boys (8 and 4) eat very healthy meals. We NEVER eat fast food and eat out about twice a month. They are not picky eaters and eat virtually all fruits and vegetables including spinach salads, avocado, asparagus, grape fruit - everything. We started out with treats as a rarity (oldest didn't even have a graham cracker until he was a year and a half, but now somehow we have fallen into a pattern of needing some kind of treat after lunch and dinner most days. It is usually small - like a sucker or a hershey kiss. If we have something larger like ice cream then we say one treat is enough for the day. I don't like that it is expected after every meal, but am not concerned about it nutrition wise since the majority of their calories are coming from whole grains, fruits and veggies.

We have dessert about 4 days out of seven. But we don't have any other treats, no candy or stuff like that during the day. If we do, then we won't have dessert...

Recently I cut back to allowing dessert on Friday, Saturday & Sunday only, unless it's a special occasion...on those three nights I allow whatever she wants. Weeknights it's fresh fruit only....berries, apples, etc. if she wants dessert. She actually has very good eating habits on her own (she's 8), but started falling into a pattern of expecting a "treat" every night. I'm a vegan but my husband is not & I don't force it on our daughter either--although 90% of what I cook is at least vegetarian if not vegan.

My kids are 1 and 4 and we rarely do dessert. My son (the 4 yr old) doesn't really know what dessert is yet. He has had cookies (homemade ones) and a few store bought things (mainly organic animal crackers or the Earth's Best Organic Cookies) a few times. He has had sorbert and ice cream but usually he takes 3-4 bites and then says it's too cold! He gets cake at birthday parties only (and we have been to 3 the last year). So yea, pretty rare in our household and I think it's MUCH better that way! And cheaper for sure!! I am very nervous about him starting school and pray all the time that he will make good decisions with food and not start craving stuff. We do what we think is best as parents and that's all we can do. I don't think giving dessert every day is the worst thing but I also wonder what it is really teaching our children? Dessert is (imo) a delicacy, something that is NOT a necessity and if given every day how do we teach them otherwise? That doesn't make sense to me. To me that is NOT moderation at all, eating dessert everyday is pure overindulgance and the reason the N. American population obesity rate is rising and not declining. Just my thoughts, I think you are a great mom for thinking about nutrition and its consequences...I wish more moms did the same!

You need to do what's best for your family - if you can pull it off! LOL! I think what you're doing is great, if your kids aren't asking for dessert, don't give it to them. We eat an awful lot of dessert in our house. I truly wish our house was more like your house. My kids aren't picky eaters, either, and basically eat healthy things, homemade dinners, fruits and veggies. But dessert is a real weakness and we indulge at least 3 - 4 times a week with official after dinner "dessert". Other things like candy at the theater or smoothies at the mall don't even count as "dessert". For us, "dessert" is a sweet after-dinner treat that is served at the table. Any other time of day and it's not "dessert". So let me adjust my "3 - 4 times a week" to a solid "7 times a week"! Yep, my kids eat something sweet everyday! It's a good thing they're active and eat the healthy stuff to balance out all that sugar....I'm super envious of mothers who tell me "oh, my kids don't have a sweet tooth, they HATE chocolate and ice-cream!". Yeah, their kids don't have a sweet tooth because all the sweet teeth ended up in MY kids' mouths!

My kids have a treat after having a healthy lunch and dinner. It is nothing big. Just something like one oreo or a fun-size milky way.

My boys are 3 and 5. The 5 year old never ate sweets when he was smaller and I found that he would start hiding candy from birthday parties to eat it later. So, I now give them treats/desserts "almost" daily (it depends on what and how well they've eaten that day) but our desserts can be apple slices with honey, frozen Stoneyfield Yogurt squeezers, 2 small cookies, watermelon, a sugary cereal like (Special K Chocolatey Delight) and stuff like that. Occasionally they will get ice cream or a bigger dessert. My older son is in school and gets a snack that is brought in by other parents, I can't control what happens outside our environment but I can control what happens inside our home. I allow my boys treats but control the amount of sugar or type of sugar each treat has. I think it's important for kids to be allowed "treats" but it's up to you to be creative in giving them healthy treat options. Good luck!!

We rarely have dessert - I would say about once every 2 or 3 months I will make a pie or cookies, usually because we are having company. With a family this large (6 kids) it seems like every time I turn around, it is someone's birthday. We have a cake on each kids birthday and usually that lasts a couple of days. So, it was my daughter's 13th birthday on Monday and we had the last of the cake for dessert tonight. We will probably have a dessert on the last day of school at dinner and then the next time will be the 2 July b'days in the house (lots of dessert that month!). We just are not a family of sweet eaters. We also don't do "treats" like a cookie or popsicle in the middle of the day. Maybe if I had less kids, it wouldn't seem like such a big deal, but honestly I already feel chained to the stove adding any more meals/snacks would probably push me over the edge :) I do want to note that my kids are a little older (youngest is 9). When they were younger I did afternoon snack and/or bedtime snack since at that age they needed smaller more frequent meals.

Whatever you do will be right for you and your family :)

We have the same eating style as you guys do, and my daughter, who is a sweet-freak, eats dessert every day. One cookie, one small piece of chocolate, a small bowl of ice cream (her favorite). She gets a Sundae on Sunday, but otherwise desserts are small. My son, who doesn't care nearly as much about sweets, has the option to eat one every day, but probably choses to once every three days or so.

Our kids (8 and 11 yrs) get dessert almost every meal that we eat at home. However, dessert is not what you probably think. Most of the time it is like ONE cookie (oreo, girl scout, something homemade) or 2 or 3 strawberries with whipped cream, or a single popsicle (the small kind of frozen ice in tubes). It can even be a tube of yogurt or a small serving of jello.

It is not some kind of cake or ice-cream, or something an adult would likely call a "dessert"... but just a little taste of something a little more "indulgent".
It makes them happy, and in my mind, demystifies sweets. They aren't "taboo" so that they crave them all the time. They aren't some HUGE treat to "make your day". It is just a little something. They learn to enjoy it, but also some self control and that it isn't the "end all be all" to eat something sweet.

I'm probably in the minority, but I grew up rarely having any kind of sweets in the house... and it made me crave them all the more. To this day, I still have a hard time NOT over indulging if there are sweets, especially chocolate. We are teaching our kids moderation. They enjoy the "dessert" but they don't feel deprived and crave it if they don't have it either. It's just not that big of a deal.. and I think that is a good thing in a LOT of areas.....
All things in moderation... right?

I think it's okay to let kids eat sweets once in a while, when they ask for them. I worry that making arbitrary rules like "only after dinner" or "not on school nights" adds to the mystique and makes kids MORE interested in eating them.

I was raised without dessert so it never really crossed my mind with my son. He and I eat sweets when we feel like it (when we bake usually) but it's never a "special treat."

My son has very healthy eating habbits, and will choose healthy options most of the time, so if he asks for a bowl of lime sorbet between meals, I see no harm in giving it to him.

Also, I'm not sure what most people would consider dessert or sweets. Plain yogurt with fruit and honey? Banana bread? These are sweet "treats" and have plenty of sugar but we make them ourselves so I know they aren't full of colors, and artificial flavors.

Hope this helps.

T.

My kids great a small treat (piece of candy, gum, etc) every other day or so. Not every day. I don't have a chart or something to keep track of when they eat it, etc. As far as that goes it is totally a judgement call, what they were doing, behavior, what they have eaten, etc.
As for actual dessert (ice cream, cake, cookies, etc.) my son feels dinner is not finished without dessert especially if he ate all his food but he doesn't get it all the time. Maybe once or twice a week. More in the summer probably because the days are longer and more relaxed bedtime and meal times, its hotter, etc.
One rule we always stick to is that all family members must eat all their food before anyone can have desert. Well that limits our days of the week quite often because it is not easy to get 3 kids to always eat all their food. Especially because if it is something healthy (like green beans) and they don't like it... it is still put on the plate and required to eat at least a certain amount before leaving the table, but if all 3 plates are not empty dessert is not even mentioned because they know it will not happen! ]
My husband eats "dessert" for breakfast....cookie, candy bars, etc. But he has always been that way and he has a younger sister who is12... who eats that for breakfast too..... she was doing terrible in school, unfocused, couldn't stay awake, concentrate, etc..... one morning without my MIL knowing she snuck and had a can of Pepsi and a carmel apple from a festival the night before........ her teacher asked what was different... it was her best day the whole year. So after my MIL found out about her breakfast she did some experimenting over the next several months without my SIL knowing. Turns out she does much better in school when she has a crappy/dessert breakfast then when she eats normal eggs, toast, etc.
I am not saying you are a stick in the mud, if what you are currently doing works for you and your family great. Keep it up.
My dinners are almost always (soccer season makes me crazy so we eat out about every other week but) homemade healthy loaded with veggies, fruit, etc. The girls and I could live on fresh fruit and veggies and pasta, grains,etc. (we do all summer in fact) but the guys (hubby and 11 yr old) need meat. I was cooking 85-90% organic and loved it but would have went back to work (just) to keep that up it just got too expensive. So I don't mind my kids eatting sweets and treats. Balance is key I think! The funniest thing about all this is........ my youngest would (and has) gladly handed over sweets/dessert for cherry tomatoes, carrots and ranch dressing, etc. I joke that she is the only kid you will meet that will put down a cookie when she sees the tomatoes come out!
Hope this helps :)

As long as my daughter eats well during the day she can have dessert at night. Sometimes it's every night, sometimes it's only twice a week. Just depends on her! She's only 3, so she doesn't get a whole bowl of ice cream, just one small scoop. She often times prefers to share a bowl of cereal with her daddy than to eat ice cream or cookies.

You have very fortunate children :) I think you're teeth brushing habits are great, and I'd imagine the way your family eats with very little excess sugar is the biggest contributor to their dental health. Deficiencies in the body from not getting enough minerals/vitamins and minerals being leached by sugar are a main contributor to poor dental health (and immune function). It's hard to believe that our children could be malnourished when they have so much to eat but when so much of it is processed and devoid of the nutritional content our bodies need, it's understandable. Sounds like your kids are well nourished :)

If they don't ask for it, don't bother :) Otherwise, there is nothing wrong with giving them a healthy dessert, homemade sorbet, or cookies that you baked together.
Just a thought :)

I want my son to learn that he can eat and enjoy any food in moderation, so I offer dessert a few times a week. Sometimes he wants it, sometimes he doesn't, and he's as likely to eat a bowl of berries for dessert as a slice of cake. I really don't want to raise a kid who "binges" on sugar whenever mom is not around, so I don't make a huge issue out of having a treat a few times per week.
I keep the house stocked with whole foods and I prepare the vast majority of my son's meals from fresh ingredients, so the occasional ice cream cone or even *gasp* corn dog is not a big deal.

This is such a great question! My son (11yo) will eat a sweet every day. Bad mommy! He is a very, very active kid. I don't limit anything else he eats. He makes great choices most of the time. He will choose fruit for dessert some of the time, but I think it's funny when he asks if he may have some Hot Cheetos for dessert. My son is only allowed "junky" food when his daily requirements for healthy are complete. He's really a great self-monitor. He only asks for food when he's hungry. Unlike me, who was told she could only eat 3 meals a day (now, I graze and it is soooo much better). I actually lived with a family where they never had sweets in the house as kids, but as adults if someone bought a treat, the whole thing would be gone in an evening; cake, package of cookies, bag of Hershey kisses. Crazy! They acted as if they had not just eaten the world's biggest meal.
Honestly, I think you need to do what is comfortable for your family. You can always feed healthy and call it a treat.
Good luck and stick to your guns if it is what you want. Don't cave to peer pressure.
S.

I don't limit that stuff much in my house, and as a result no one gorges themself on it. I also don't buy a ton of sweets, or give large amounts at once, but that's just in general. We like to bake at our house so we make cookies or cupcakes or banana bread or try a new baking recipe like once a week. Usually after tasting it I take most of it to work to pawn it off on the coworkers. There is often a small container of ice cream or sorbet on hand in the fridge. I rarely buy cookies but who can resist the girl scouts in spring? And the chocolate usually piles up between halloween, christmas, valentines, and easter. We still have a bunch of See's candy Shamrock chocolates that we are working on... I think since the stuff is always available, it's just not a big deal. Of course they have to ask though, and if it's not an appropriate time, or they've had enough, or haven't eaten any real meals yet, the answer is no. So mom and dad still have the power to say no.
I do stick with the "no dessert if you don't eat dinner" thing, I mean, that's just wrong to gice out a cookie or something if they haven't made an effort on the real meal.
Also, my kids are at either of their Grandma's during the week, one of whom has a candy jar and the other who loves to make special trips to the bakery for cookie treats. I can't control what goes on there... I just think it's best not to stress about this stuff, in moderation it won't hurt.

We don't do a dessert. I do chop up fruit to go with dinner, though. I am more of a "special treat" person. If there is a celebration for something (tying shoes, potty, cleaning up without being asked) then I will do something like a small piece of candy or if its a BIG deal then a slushie from Sonic. They make the 100% juice ones there. I don't buy ice cream because I don't want me or my DH to eat it!

We do dessert about once a week. I will make them smoothies with frozen fruit or let them have fruit for dessert...

We're probably in that 4-5 times a week group but only if they eat their dinner. My boys are 3 and 2 so they're eating small portions of food but desserts are small also. And if they've had anything throughout the day that 's"dessert like", i.e. a lolipop, then they understand there's no dessert after dinner. And of course we brush their teeth very well. :)

My kids get dessert when they finish their whole dinner - or atleast everything on their plate that I know they like & have tried everything. Desset might be homemade cookies, cake, brownies, ice-cream, popciles, baked apples, jello, pudding - whatever we have in the house & ready to give them. So, over all they get it about 4 or so times a week... but if they are really good at eating they will get it everyday.

They also get candy now & then, but they have to earn it by being good and helping around the house. Kinda like payment instead of money since we don't have much money & bags of candy can be bought really cheap and last a while.

We also don't eat out much - maybe ones a month or so, but the rest of the time we do the cooking at home. But it never hurts to offer treats now & then - which is why we do the fast food every once in a while. But it's usually McD's Playplace that we go to. We also do go for walks about everyother day (if not more) when weather is nice enough for us to go.

Here's a twist on the treat thing. My husband came up with how many grams of sugar he thinks a treat should have - about 15 grams. My kids are older so with school, parties, etc. it's hard to not let them have treats. So we let them have one treat a day, 15 grams. Some candy bars are 25 grams, so they don't get the whole thing. Sodas are 40 grams so when they want a little soda, it's only diet soda that they get. Most treats are right around 15 grams, if it's a little over we don't fuss about it, and it's not exact. If there is a special occasion, they might get two treats a day. Some people might be shocked that they get one treat a day, but some of their friends have 5 or 6 a day! I'm shocked at what some of the moms let them have, like at the movies, one girl's mom bought her a whole soda (over 40 grams), a big bag of gummies (about 50 grams), and other stuff, and this girl has a lot of pimples. I wonder why?

Hello!

I was a "stick in the mud" mom with my daughter (she will be 4 in 2 months) until the last 1/2 year or so. I have eased up on sweets and let her have dessert only if she finishes a meal. Sometimes her dessert is fruit with peanut butter or whipped cream, sometimes a cookie, or jello it just depends. If she does not finish vegetables and her main course she does not get dessert. I only let her have a bite of big desserts like cake/ice cream/cheese cake etc. If it is a birthday party I let her have a very small piece of cake or a cupcake. I personally was finding it very difficult to tell her no and then enjoy a brownie with my husband. She also has become less obbsessed with sweets as they have become less taboo.

I have a 4 y.o. and a 2 y.o.

Candy - never if I can help it. So far it's only been Halloween and Easter. After that day is over I hide the loot, and tell them they can only eat the candy on that specific holiday, and they'll have to wait until next year.

Dessert - only on weekends, and only in restaurants. At home, sometimes a much-loved fruit is "dessert," like strawberries, or oranges. So I guess my kids get dessert about 1-3 times per week (weekend)

I've been toying around with an idea that I haven't implemented yet. I was thinking of coming up with what I felt was a reasonable amount of "treats" for a week and giving it to each kid at the start of every week. I would tell them they could eat it whenever they wanted. Maybe they'd eat it in one sitting, maybe save it until the last day. I would combine this with some casual nutritional education. I don't want to harp on it and make it into too big of a deal but I do believe that what we put into our bodies is important enough to talk directly to them about and put some parenting energy towards. I'm trying to come up with a way to teach them healthy eating habits in a way that doesn't all come directly from me. Many of your responses that I read mentioned that possibility of the kids growing up and getting out on their own and going crazy with sweets because they've been too limited as kids. I want my kids to have the opportunity to experiment with monitoring themselves somewhat so they develop self-discipline based on good information. But I don't want it to be a wild free for all, eating nothing but sugar. So, that's how I came up with my idea. I haven't done it yet though... maybe wait until they're a little older. Good luck!

Check out healthy options for desserts! Buy frozen yogurt instead of ice cream, or I buy Cars Crackers, made with whole wheat and cane sugar, or Fig Newmans (the organic Fig Newton) and tell my son they're cookies. Those kinds of treats I will let my son have every other day or so. TRUE junk food like ice cream or real cookies are much more restricted - not even once a week (but my son is still very young). I think once a week is plenty for that sort of thing.

We have something sweet each night, but it is not always sugar. Most times it is fruit.or a fruit salads.

We have "Saturday Night is Sundae Night!!" in our house. When the kids want some kind of treat, I'll say - "that's a great idea, we can have that on Saturday!!" It works pretty well and they can look forward to having SOME kind of treat in the near future! Most of the time the kids don't eat enough of the (homemade with love) dinner to warrant dessert, so once a week is a good compromise!

I didn't read anyone else's answer yet. My children get one piece of candy after dinner. Every night. It is always the little snack ones (like from Easter or Valentines Day) and is gone in two bites, but they enjoy them. They do NOT get a treat if they do not eat all their veggies and what ever else I deem needs to be eaten, so there are nights where my youngest doesn't get a treat.
My boys are 7 1/2 and 4 1/2. They are both very active, thin and well behaved (for the most part!).
L.

My family is like yours. I've gone with the mantra - 'sugar tastes great, but it's not really good for you, so we just eat a little'

We have a sweet treat about once a day, but that is often 100% fruit popsicle or dates or Glee gum - I've even got them into taking their gummybear vitamins as a sweet treat (they are really, just happens to have vitamins - right!). But cupcakes, brownies, tofutti cuties, etc are in there too!
I try not to make a big deal out of sweets and just let them know that there are inferior ingredients out there that I really don't want them to have.
I had a friend in college who had an 'all natural' mom and as soon as she had her own freedom of the pantry stocked it with stuff like ding-dongs and who knows what else that stuff was. Just when I was really learning about nutrition and getting excited about it, because my mom let me eat sugary snacks as a kid.
So, kids do the opposite of what they had growing up - often.

I heard somewhere that the Obama girls only have dessert on the weekends. My daughter is only 13 months so she doesn't understand dessert. But I think when she is old enough we will follow the President. My sister's kids get dessert every night, but her dessert is fresh fruit sprinkled with some brown sugar. Even with the sprinkling of brown sugar it is still healthier than most desserts.

Well my son is not a sweets person but lately has wanted chocolate. Maybe twice a week, special occasions, and if we go out to eat, which is not very much. Even at Halloween, Christmas, Easter, he gets to pick out the candy he likes, we give him a piece after dinner, and after about a week, sometimes a few days, he forgets and doesn't ask it for it. We just don't really keep it in the house, for anyone. I think it depends on what you want as a parent, and if the kids are healthy and good eaters, a little treat now and then is not going to hurt