Okay so my daughter has been using the potty off and on since before she was two. She usually does great but just refuses to use it all the time. However she will have an accident and by the sounds of it she doesn't even realize she soaked. She can get up on the potty all by herself and knows how to use it. I've had every form of potty seat there is but we've had the most success on the big potty with the seat on top. She just turned four and again had another accident the worst I've ever seen her have and said she didn't know she was wet. I got her in the tub and after being in there for a couple minutes she farted. I asked her if she could feel herself farted and she said yes. She wants to be potty trained so bad but I've never seen a child not know when their whole outfit is wet. I need some advice.
I would never make her feel bad about it. She started walking a little late. I guess its not late by today's standards. But she also was more advanced in speech. Sometimes that can happen when their delayed in one area they tend to advance in others. Shes been asking to go to school since she turned 2. I asked her if she knew she was wet because she was so wet, and too see if she has a sensory problem. Im going to come up with some sensory lesson plans and maybe that will help a little. Im still gonna talk to her doctor about it. I like all your responses, thank you! Keep them coming please! They dont teach you how to potty train in early childhood education because its not up to the teacher to potty train. They expect that from the parents. She also has 2 younger sisters that wear diapers.
Pretty normal. She's 4. Some kids still have this sort of accident until they're in first grade.
It's key that you say she "just turned" four. If this were happening at "just turned five" that might be different but she's barely out of toddlerhood. Give it time. She may just not mind being wet, which is not the same as not being able to sense physically that she's wet.
Are you still ensuring she gets onto the toilet regularly? It's done in potty training but she sounds like she still needs that regular trip to the toilet because she is playing so hard and is so mentally involved in her play that she ignores her body's "time to pee" signals. It's VERY typical for kids her age to do just that -- focus on play to the point they just don't listen to their bodies until it's too late. Normal! So I'd be taking her for a potty break every so often. Keep track of when she last went, so you know for instance "She went about two hours ago and has had a drink since then - probably time to get her to try soon." She will resist some but it will help prevent accidents. Don't overtalk this and don't ever shame her or make her feel at fault -- she may not be fully in control of her bladder yet (also common in young kids, even ones who are "fully" potty trained!) and she also is not really at fault for being focused on the play that she's doing.
Kids just like adults have different levels of sensitivity. I suggest that she doesn't mind being wet and therefore doesn't notice when she's wet. Not yo worry. Accidents are normal at this age. She is not totally trained yet. I suggest that her body may not be mature enough to always be dry.
Kids will often "not notice" and whether it is genuine or not is a little TBD. Think about if you were really engrossed in something and you spilled your coffee...if it wasn't hot you might not notice right off.
I would have her use the toilet at appropriate times, when she might naturally need to go (morning, bedtime, before and after meals, before going out somewhere....) We counted to her age and then let her get off if she wasn't peeing. Half the time she really did need to go. Or when out and about, I'd stop into places with a clean restroom and tell her we should try now because we don't know what the other bathrooms are like and Kohl's has a nice one. Kind of teach her more awareness and not to wait til it's urgent.
I will also say that I understand your frustration. My child had a lot of accidents through her 4th year, to my huge frustration. But things are much better now. If your DD is generically slower on physical abilities, then this may be another one that needs more time.
