HELP!!!!!!!!!!!! My son is 4 1/2 yrs old and has always done milestones when he is ready. My husband and I have never really pushed him, but now we need help. He can urinate in the toilet and is dry at night, but he will not poop in the toilet. We have done everything we know of. He has never squatted to poop even when he was in diapers. He is in underwear, but will poop in them. I have made him clean himself up, and he doesn't seem to mind. Now we are getting a lot of outside input from family, that he needs to be potty trained.
Any advice would be helpful
Have you trtied saying goodbye to the poop before flushing? My kids were afraid for it to go away and saying good bye have fun in an excited happy voice helped.
You are going to think this is the silliest solution but you have to know what my husband did with our first son to stop the pooping in the pants. My son was potty trained for a year but not poopy trained. We tried everything! Finally we were camping and my husband introduced him to pooping in the wild. He chose his "out in the wild spot" to be between two coolers. The hoopla around it was HUGE and he never pooped in his pants again. I must say we did have a few incidents where he pooped in our yard but it was VERY short lived. So who knows, maybe you should go camping. = )
You could try serious bribery too. That is what worked with my second son. A bowl full of toys and candy in eyeshot. It drove him nuts but he was potty and poopy trained in two days.
Good luck.
When I potty trained my son, I let him pick out "special" underwear. (I think he picked 3 prs of Spiderman) I told him he need to go in the potty, or Spiderman would have to be thrown out. Then, when he pooped in them, I threw that pair out!!!
He was shocked that I would throw out Spiderman!! It was upsetting enough for him that he never pooped in them again and went in the potty from then on. He didn't want his other ones thrown out.
Good luck!
C.
He will go when ready - OR it might be a control thing - as this IS one thing they have 100% control over. I have heard and believe that potty training should not be a negative experience... just delays the outcome. MAKE IT FUN - USE INCENTIVEs to get him to use the potty. And remember it won't last forever.
INCENTIVE- find a favorite toy, put it up on a shelf in his view and make a 15-day chart and tell him he doesn't get it until he's poop-free in his undies for that many days. Good luck!
I wrote a response to a similar question just a couple days ago. I suggest looking at that and some information about "encopresis," which is chronic constipation that can cause anal leakage, so the child is messy even without consciously pooping. (Yucky, I know, but figuring out what the problem is can help you solve it.) See if the symptoms fit your son--this could be worth a trip to the pediatrician. I doubt this is just stubbornness or something he can be scolded out of.
I got a lot of mileage out of the book "Toilet Train Your Child in Just One Day." I think the author's last name is Azrin. Although I didn't go for the one day approach, the philosophy was gentle and effective and involved a lot of positive reinforcement of being "clean and dry." Every time you think of it, ask your child to check and confirm that he is clean and dry. Then you can offer appreciation and encouragement for being and staying clean and dry (as opposed to arbitrarily sitting on the toilet).
Best wishes!
He's apparently not ready for underwear. This is not uncommon. Just put him back in pull-ups. He will, eventually, start to poop in the potty. (Both my nephews went through this at a late age.)
You and I can't MAKE the children do what we want when it comes to potty training, and frankly, I'd hate to be the kid who had that kind of mother (I'm thinking "domineering witch"), so I'm so glad you're not doing that to him!
Yes, he needs to be potty trained, but he's also your kid, not theirs. Like you said, he does it when he's ready. Thank them for their advice as kindly as you can & tell them that he'll poop when he's ready. But it might be helpful to remind him that he'll have to learn before he goes to school.
One of my sons was PT by 3, the other was about 4.5 by the time he actually got serious about it. I got tired of cleaning him up so I made him do it himself. He was in charge of wipes, we had a detachable showerhead (on the hose style) & he had to shower himself. I checked him before he got out, but he was in charge of poop cleanup. He had to rinse his undies in the toilet too, then wring them out & put them in/on the washer.
Good luck!
Look up Encopresis on your computer, Dr Robert Collins is an expert on this and if we hadn't found his information I don't know where we would be today.Our Dr. was no help at all, she just didn't understand what was going on. It doesn't have to be cronic constipation, our daughter just had one bad poop when she was about 2 1/2 and was afraid to go after that. It may not be this at all but if it is than Robert Collins program is worth a try.
Hi,
I had this same problem with my son except we used pullups for training in stead of underwear. I finally made him just go without a pullup or underwear. He tried to avoid the toliet.I also made him get into the shower everytime he pooped gave him wipes and told him to clean up.This took months.just before he turned 5 it was like magic he poop on the potty. I dont know what the problem was. I think he was nervous pooping on the toliet.Oh one other thing I tried before he would use the toliet to poop. I put a cartoon on that he really liked sat the potty down in front of the tv with him on it it took a while .After that it was over no more struggle. It seems everyones child is so differnt. It is hard when family gives you a badtime about it. It really does not help. Dont let it bother you. He will be ready someday the more there is pressure the worse they are it seems and will not cooperate.Good luck,J.
Hi C.,
We have had some issues with our 3 year old doing that # in his underwear. We have had the best luck taking the hose to him without anything on. The water is cold and the sprayer doesn't cause more then a sting. This method should make him uncomfortable enough to stop. Best wishes, L.
Are there things he would like to do but will not be allowed to do without being potty trained? He won't ba able to go to Kindergarten and swimming lessons at that age. My friend told her son he wasn't able to go poopy in the potty he couldn't go to swim classes. It said so right on the brochure. This worked within 2 days. Is there something similar your son would like to do?
