Help! My 2 1/2 Year Old Will Not Poop in the Potty!

when he poops in his pullup or underwear put it in the potty this has worked well with my Grandsons, mow both 3 & 4 I have 3 grown Girls they were all easy but boys seem to be differnt love Nana

Sure, the ped told you to do that, but I just don't get the logic, and it sounds awful. Kids just aren't meant to stay in one place like that, for one thing. Punitive measures will just make him feel more uptight. I think he is just scared of sitting on the potty. Kids so young can be afraid of falling in. Maybe Dad should show him how, and that it's safe, etc.

Have you tried any potty training books? I think you'll find them more helpful than the pediatrician, whose approach seems to be: "well, keep him there long enough, and it's bound to happen."

I think that, given that he's only 2, you can just relax. It's not a race :) In a sense, yes, he'll one day poop in the toilet, one way or another. Might as well make it a nice one, and keep the therapy bills to a minimum.

L.

I had this issue with my daughter. She was over 3 years old before she pooped once in the potty. I kept thinking it was a discipline issue and we made some mistakes that put too much pressure on her. I finally realized that she just couldn't figure out how to relax on the potty. She would always do it in her pullup at naptime. Once I realized what was going on, I worked on getting her to learn to relax on the potty, taking deep breaths, etc. I also read to put a stool where they can put their feet on it as it might be hard to go if their feet are not touching the floor (of course that is if you are using a big toilet). I don't know what eventually worked, but once she got it once she was trained, she didn't have any more problems.

And of course rewards do wonders too. If you know about when he is going to go, have him sit on the potty and talk to him about how to relax and let the poop come out.

Good luck, have patience, and congratulations on getting him pee trained, that is a great accomplishment! It took me much longer than 6 weeks to even get that far. :)

M.

My son was the same way...I thought he would go to college in diapers! Finally I took Easter week (he was 3 1/2) and concentrated on him having "poo poo" success. We bought "poo poo" presents as rewards. Once he finally had one successful poop and got to get a present (a small bouncy ball) he stopped resisting. For the next few days he pooped many many times a day just so he could get the rewards! It has been a month now and he has only had one accident. So my advice is to hang in there...I have heard that once boys "get it" they get it.Good luck.
Oh... I tried telling him that the poop went down the drain and through the pipes to the lake where the fish were very thankful for the food. (I know it is a white lie, I read about someone else telling her son this, and sounds a bit gross, but it worked)

This is definitely when bribary will work! Call it a reward if it makes it easier. Our kids earn allowances and they know if nothing is given, nothing is received. This may be the incentive he needs. Like every little boy, I bet there is something he likes, hot wheel cars (usually about $1 each) or batman figurines (I guess $5ish). Go to the store, find something he wants. Tell him no more accidents and he'll "earn" this as a big-boy reward! Go poop in the potty for a week and then go to the store. We laugh in my family about the kids and say "bribary works!" In the long run, we get what we want across and they are happy too. We don't spend much but you would be surprised how huge a few dollars is to a young child and what encouragement it makes. It keeps me going back to my job every day so I get that paycheck! Good luck! You won't miss those dirty undies at all!

Hey L.,

What a battle. As a mommy and a child counseling professional... this is a battle you CAN NOT win. So with that said, if you relax, let it go and just let it be no big deal... he will come around. I have other advice on how to encourage your little one to potty but I must say your story included enough detail to say what was going on. Since he flat out tells you no pooping in the potty, then thats what it is. This is an early power struggle and I highly recommend that you let him have his accidents as one of the few things you will never be able to control is your childs intake of foods(making them eat) or excretion process (potty). And once the battle begins it is best to relax a little. So with that said just let him do his thing for awhile longer without pushing the potty. If a week later and no commenting from you, he is still having accidents then just tell him that big boys do not poop in there undies and that poop can't go in the washing machine, so it is back to pull ups for awhile. I think it should be a few weeks before he is asking to go to the bathroom for bowel movements... and I encourage you to have a small treat basket for him to get a suprise from for when he goes.
On another note...I am not sure what your potty practices are, but my 2 year old insist once sat on the potty for me to "go." She asks, we go to the bathroom, I place her on potty and reach for foot stool so her legs aren't hanging and if by that second she hasn't told me to go, then we are just urinating, but for bowel movements she wants me out of the bathroom but still nearby. So I stand outside the door. If you still in the bathroom when you are trying to get him to poop, maybe that is a problem.
Best Wishes and try not to get frustrated or upset, it will show and your little one will inadvertantly learn they can control you.
-MB

I've recently been potty training my son, so I feel you pain! I'll tell ya what's worked so far with him. For one, I told him he could go see the animals (Petco) if he went poop in the potty, and then he went! Of course, he got poop everywhere... but he tried. haha

and secondly, he has some mickey mouse underwear that he pooped in. I told him that mickey mouse did not like being pooped on, and he was soooo upset b/c he wanted to give mickey mouse a hug (yeah, i didn't understand it either), but he couldn't b/c he had poop on him. (I was trying so hard not to laugh) The next day, he started going poop on the potty.

Also, his dad's been spanking him a little when he poops. I can't bring myself to do it, though. I always feel bad.

GOOD LUCK!!!!!

My son didn't want to poop in the potty chair either. We just gave him space. He did great on peeing it was pooping. So we gave him prizes if he went poop in the toliet/potty chair. He would get a couple M&Ms for peeing and about 5 for pooping. He loved them so that was what made him want to go. It takes time. My son is going to be 4 in July. He was about 3 or so when he started to be really pottytrained fully except at night. It takes time. Don't force him to sit on the chair. He is still young. Most kids arent fully trained till they are 5 or so. :)
Good Luck!

S. T.
CEO MOMS
www.always4myfamily.com

L.:

My daughter was the same way. What set her off I think is that one time she had a big poop and her daddy exclaimed and praised her maybe too loudly and embarassed her. also I think she held it so long it started to burt when it came out and she associated that with the potty. Finally I think the splashing when the poop hit the water bothered her too. all three of these together inhibited her.

It got to where she would only poop in her diaper at nap time, (when she was relaxed I think) no matter the threats or the bribes. I didn't want to punish her, and I didn't try just the pure sitting technique you are using.

What worked for us was kind of a trick. I told her she could poop with her pullup on, but she had to do it when she was sitting on the potty. I did this for a few days. Then one day before she sat down I secretly cut a hole in the pullup and quickly put it on her so she wouldn't notice. So when she sat down, the poop fell right out into the potty. I also used a sitdown potty instead of the toilet in this instance. When she got up she saw the poop and thought it was magic. We did this for a few days too, and then talked about how we would take the diaper off and see if it worked too. Which of course it did. We gradually transitioned to using the toilet instead of the potty for poops (thank god, the cleaning of that was almost as bad as changing a poopy underwear!).

A side benefit of this was that as soon as she pooped in the potty she declared she was ready to stop wearing diapers at naps and at night, and she was. She stayed dry from that day on.

Good luck ...

A.

Hi L.,

Our son loved hot wheels. We put a basket on the top of the toilet tank filled with wrapped hot wheels. When he did the job he could choose one wrapped hot wheel. I know that some people did the same, but used candy. It could be paper with smiley faces. Whatever you choose.

Enjoy every minute with your boys. Our son is 14 now and people are starting to say that "he will be off to college soon". It makes me sick to think about that.

Good Luck!
D.

I have 3 boys, and I think 2 1/2 is a little young to expect poopy in the potty. From my experience, they will go when they are ready. Trying to do it on your timetable just leads to power struggles and frustration for both of you. My youngest is 2 1/2. He will go on the potty once in awhile. We make a very big deal with singing and praise. Maybe it is because he is my 3rd, but I just don't sweat it. He will get it. Most moms I know say that 3 is the average age for boys to really get it. So you are ahead of the game!
By the way, our last name is Cooper and my middle son's name is Mason!

Pooping on the potty is scary for some kids. Once he has one success, it will likely be easy from there. My second child had that same issue. She typically pooped around the same time each day. I used glycerine suppositories (they are over-the-counter and used some for constipation). I inserted one and then put her on the potty. Don't encourage him to "push" because that is confusing and they will often clamp down and not be able to go. Encourage him to relax and maybe read a book or something like that. The suppository will give him the urge to push. Stay with him and talk in a calming, reassuring manner. It shouldn't take long. I used this on two of my three kids, but only 2 - 3 times total. It was just to get a success so that they would know how it feels and experience success.

Please don't make him sit on the potty for hours...that's torture at any age! He's only 2 1/2, I know my DD is 2 1/2, she won't tell me she needs to go potty until her panties are already a little bit wet and although 3 weeks ago she would tell me when she needed to poop now she just poops in her panties. The messes are very frustrating I know, but I would recommend keeping him in underwear. With my first daughter we made her "clean up" her messes, she made them, she had to clean them up, that's natural consequences. We didn't punish until she started pooping in her panties at 3 1/2, each time she pooped in her panties we took a toy away, she would get one toy back when she pooped in the potty. At one point my closet was full of her toys! After a few weeks she finally got it. I don't know that after 6 weeks of potty training that he should be punished for pooping in his underwear, he may just not be there yet. I read that traing to pee in the potty and poop in the potty are complete opposites, to pee you have to relax the muscles, to poop you have to contract them. So give him a little time and talk about it again tell him what reward he will get when he poops in the potty, maybe when he learns to poop in the potty he can pick out some new underwear (free of poop stains.) Just make it something he can look forward to instead of such a chore! God Bless!

My grandson was the same way. Making him sit on the potty is obviously not working, and it seems like he is there for a very long time. For some odd reason they think that part of them is going down the potty and it scares them. I was ready to pull my hair out. I was online looking for a birthday present for my other grandson and he saw a Ford F150 that he really wanted. I told him if he would poop in the potty and have no accidents for 2 weeks he could have it...it worked! I know lots of people say this is bad but I don't care what they think...as long as it works.

My son was pretty much the same. We finally resorted to bribing him and it totally worked wonders. He got a M&M for peeing, but if he pooped, he got a matchbox car and we had a poo-poo party. I would sing a little song and take him immediately to the grocery store so he could have a helium balloon (his favorite thing at the time). It really worked pretty quickly and I was able to drop the balloon and cars and just go with 3-4 M&Ms. Good luck!

I think having him sit on the potty for a long period of time isn't fair to him and it makes potty training a chore instead of an exciting adventure. Just put him in his underwear and act like he is doing great, cause he is !!!! Then, if he has a poopy accident, explain to him how gross it is - don't get mad, don't get frustrated, just calmly tell him "It's yucky to go poo-poo in your pants, when you feel like you need to go poo-poo you need to come sit on the potty."
When I potty trained my son, I put him on the potty every 30 minutes, for a minute or two. I increased the amount of time between potty visits on a daily basis.
He got the pee pee down packed within a weekend, but he didn't want to go poopy in the potty. It took about two weeks of poopy accidents to get him to go on the potty. I also took him to the store and let him pick something that he really really wanted. And I would tell him, "When you can go poopy on the potty, like a big boy, I will buy you that." For him, it was a spider-man outfit. As soon as he went poopy on the potty by himself and had recognized his need to go and was consistently not having accidents - I took him to the store and bought his outfit. He never had another accident. Good Luck :)

***small treats are great ******
Also, I would not put him back in pull ups. Mothers used fabric diapers for years before we all started using diapers, etc.... this will only postpone his potty training even more and is a definite step in the wrong direction. If he has an accident, dump the poopy in the potty and wash the underwear in bleach and hot water. And relax, it won't last long, I promise.

Hi L.. I had this same problem with my son who is now 3 1/2. We were at our wits end. To be absolutely honest with you, he will do it when he's ready. I have two daughters but didn't experience the struggle I had with my son. I'm not sure if it's a boy-thing or what. But there was one thing that I think may have helped some. I know it sounds gross but I had my husband take him to the restroom to show him that daddy pooped in the potty and so should he. My son laughed at first and continued to poop in pull-ups and his underwear. Then one day he did it in the potty and we praised him. And for months, when he pooped he wanted us to look at it and praise him. Just hang in there. He will get it. God bless.

I had the opposite problem till just recently with my little guy who just turned 2 in April. All I can say, is they will eventually get it. Some kids are just more stubborn than others!